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  1. #51
    Senior Member SubtleFighter's Avatar
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    It’s interesting reading the comments of people who are sx-last. It’s hard wrapping my head around that perspective.

    I’m sp-last, and I really feel like all the things associated with it are a big pain in the butt. I hate stopping what I’m doing to eat, cook, sleep, etc. I usually forget that I need to eat or sleep until I’m halfway starving or falling over asleep in my chair. Actually getting to sleep has been an issue my entire life because I just don’t want to do it. And I swear that if it wasn’t for my best friend being sp-first, I wouldn’t know how to cook at all, haha.

    I also relate well to the others who said they have trouble monitoring their bodies for pain for health reasons. If I’m not feeling pain right at the second that doctors ask me, I have no idea how to describe pain I have felt over the past few days or weeks or how to rate the amount of pain I’ve been in. Even if I know I need to monitor these things, actually trying to do it is annoying at the level of scraping nails on a chalkboard.
    "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."--Ambrose Redmoon

    . . . metamorphosing . . .

  2. #52
    Honeyed Water thoughtlost's Avatar
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    I think that I am sp last. I don't know what that means in a thorough sense, but from what I understand... I consider myself sp last because I wish I didn't have to think about my physical needs like eating, or sleeping (sleeping is really not desirable when you're watching a really good movie or reading a really good book or thinking about your emotions/perceptions/insights). It doesn't mean that I don't like to sleep... it's a peaceful time.

    And taking a break to eat... I actually don't mind that because right now I am working in a lab and I have to give all my attention to it so I don't make mistakes. So I welcome the break so I can lose myself in my thoughts. I often feel like there is not enough time in the day for me to get lost in thought... I hate keeping myself busy... uh, I don't know what "busy" means actually, but I know this girl who says she always has to be doing something "useful" and I am all "....what's wrong with sitting on the couch all day long? There's lots to do on the couch!!! (Yeah, I know that can be interpreted in a sexual way ...-_-")". ...it makes me a really bad tourist because I could care less about the physical things around me ...it's like it doesn't have an impact on my internal state so I don't care. ...Uh, wait. I don't think it means that I don't actually like ANY physical object ...ironically, I can find the strangest pleasure in rooms with very very minimal furniture. It's like I exist... but then I exist no where...

    ...wow, I am going to stop typing now ...Yeah, I think I am SP last -_-"

  3. #53
    Junior Member sarahmariev's Avatar
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    I relate to all the previous SX blind spot posts. I wish I were more passionate and focused and full of energy. I find it difficult to stay invested in things for long and while I genuinely love and care for people, intimate relationships are stressful. I have no problem being social and affectionate, but I don't know how to truly connect when I'm one-on-one.

    I also am extremely self-conscious and uncomfortable with my desires. This can be especially problematic in romantic/sexual situations, since I can easily connect to the opposite sex friends but don't know how to proceed when things progress beyond conversation...

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    All the people on typewatch (a very well known enneagram site) saw me as Sx last. However, I keep reading things like this I NEVER can relate to them. I love intimacy. In fact, I am almost an intimacy junkie. I absolutely love to be close to a lover and fall in love VERY easily. I get close to people VERY quickly and I can literally meet someone in one day and feel like I have known them my whole life.
    I'm SX last and I think that "intimacy" can mean many different things. I absolutely love meeting and getting to know people...sometimes I make people a bit uncomfortable with how many questions I ask when I'm trying to get to know them (I mean, do I really need to know everyone else's favorite ice cream flavors?). I'm not sure exactly how to describe it, but for me, without a specific social context for interaction (for example, dating or working) I can run out of things to talk about eventually and without a larger group to feed off of, it can get very awkward. I know how to be likeable and effusive, but when gets down to nitty gritty relating to people in a one-to-one basis (instead of in a social basis, as individuals instead of fellow group members), I'm at a loss. My energy is also far more spread out, even when I'm focusing on one person. I'm not just thinking about being with them, but also about how my behavior is affecting them or other people, what I'm going to say next, etc.

  4. #54
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @sarahmariev

    Yeah I can't really relate to this. I am definitely more of a one-on-one person. Personally my social style is to enter a large group of people and then to basically pull the members that I actually like to the side and just be with them. Most of the time I am only with one person and just chatting one-to-one. I never really have identified myself by a group and I tend to always think of myself as an entity outside of the group. However, I do understand the social dynamics well enough to realize that if I anger one of my friends other close friends that this action could result in me losing them as a friend. I am also very aware of how I am effecting other people in a social group as well, it's just that most of the time I don't give a shit.

  5. #55
    Junior Member sarahmariev's Avatar
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    You sound rather SX/SO, but what would I know? Vive la difference!

  6. #56
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybe View Post
    I am curious how your blind spot manifests?
    Sp:

    In others it often feels boring and bland, like the unimportant things in life are given a level of importance I simply can't get excited about, or comprehend, so I tend to tune out to it, and at times find annoying. On the other (lesser) hand, it can be balancing for me to be around Sp doms as it is a area I pay no attention to.

    In me it means I neglect many simple things in life, I can go without eating for days and not care, or notice, it's common for others to point out to me that I haven't eaten before I realise, and even then I'll say "yeah, I'll get something" then forget about it again, I used to have a colleague remind me each day that I should eat, and it was cute but annoying, cause I didn't really want to stop to eat most days. For me food is about the experience, weather it be the rich tastes that excite my Sx, or the interaction with others around food that satisfies my So, when it's simply for nourishment, it's a chore.

    The idea of 'comfort food' perplexes me, there are simply foods that I like, and those I dislike, and they are not consumed in accordance with an emotional barometer.

    I can be oblivious to issues of comfort, it's not a preoccupation so long as I'm not hot.

    The idea of taking medication on a regular basis is full of fail for me, I always forget, or take it too late, even if there are physical consequences for me.

    The idea of stopping something that I'm enjoying to go to sleep because I won't get an appropriate amount of sleep otherwise is foreign to me, I typically get less sleep than I should, and on occasion oversleep, it's rarely where it 'should' be.

    I consider time to be an overrated concept, same with keeping a schedule. I dislike routine and predictable, or at least I can't stick to it.

    What is 'practical' is often unimaginative and of less interest than what is idealistic, I am grounded in some ways, yet also very idealistic in focus.

    Also, if you know your enneagram, tritype, and/or MBTI, it could be helpful to list those too.
    ENTP 9w8 (7w8 4w3) So/Sx


    Quote Originally Posted by SubtleFighter View Post
    I’m sp-last, and I really feel like all the things associated with it are a big pain in the butt. I hate stopping what I’m doing to eat, cook, sleep, etc. I usually forget that I need to eat or sleep until I’m halfway starving or falling over asleep in my chair. Actually getting to sleep has been an issue my entire life because I just don’t want to do it. And I swear that if it wasn’t for my best friend being sp-first, I wouldn’t know how to cook at all, haha.

    I also relate well to the others who said they have trouble monitoring their bodies for pain for health reasons. If I’m not feeling pain right at the second that doctors ask me, I have no idea how to describe pain I have felt over the past few days or weeks or how to rate the amount of pain I’ve been in. Even if I know I need to monitor these things, actually trying to do it is annoying at the level of scraping nails on a chalkboard.
    That works.

  7. #57
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SubtleFighter View Post
    It’s interesting reading the comments of people who are sx-last. It’s hard wrapping my head around that perspective.

    I’m sp-last, and I really feel like all the things associated with it are a big pain in the butt. I hate stopping what I’m doing to eat, cook, sleep, etc. I usually forget that I need to eat or sleep until I’m halfway starving or falling over asleep in my chair. Actually getting to sleep has been an issue my entire life because I just don’t want to do it. And I swear that if it wasn’t for my best friend being sp-first, I wouldn’t know how to cook at all, haha.

    I also relate well to the others who said they have trouble monitoring their bodies for pain for health reasons. If I’m not feeling pain right at the second that doctors ask me, I have no idea how to describe pain I have felt over the past few days or weeks or how to rate the amount of pain I’ve been in. Even if I know I need to monitor these things, actually trying to do it is annoying at the level of scraping nails on a chalkboard.
    A lot of this is relatable to me & I'm sp first. Actually, you will see many who identify as iNtuitive in MBTI/Jungian theory note these things, just as many introverts identify with supposed so-last traits.

    I'm not saying you are not sp-last, but it's more complex than that to be sp-dom. I hate stopping to eat & cook also & often forget or am totally oblivious to body signals, but it can become a fixation if I'm in a situation where I don't feel I have personal control of my well-being. Sp-dom is more like FREEDOM to provide for yourself, and as long as you feel you have that ability, then you may easily forget or become inconvenience by such "maintenance". This is why sp-dom are associated a bit with being detached & independent from people - its as if being too close to others can be a "threat" to your survival. But then this is also coming from an SO-last SP-dom, so forming social bonds & niches is not something I find comforting like many do (rather a chore & a confusing one at that).

    As a side, a lot of Western culture is very SP, IMO. There's this emphasis on kids leaving home to be independent & support themselves, make their own way, etc. The cultures can make people very insular, not communal at all. SO is a blindspot in US culture, IMO. People often need organizations & whatnot to form social bonds/circles & find niches, as opposed to some cultures where group community interaction is just everyday life without anything formal necessary. As far as how this affects individuals, I think this is why many don't identity with so-first even if they are. It's not a cultural value (and most here are from Western cultures).
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  8. #58
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    As a side, a lot of Western culture is very SP, IMO. There's this emphasis on kids leaving home to be independent & support themselves, make their own way, etc. The cultures can make people very insular, not communal at all. SO is a blindspot in US culture, IMO. People often need organizations & whatnot to form social bonds/circles & find niches, as opposed to some cultures where group community interaction is just everyday life without anything formal necessary. As far as how this affects individuals, I think this is why many don't identity with so-first even if they are. It's not a cultural value (and most here are from Western cultures).
    This may interest you: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/11/op...vidbrooks&_r=0
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  9. #59
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I'm not saying you are not sp-last, but it's more complex than that to be sp-dom. I hate stopping to eat & cook also & often forget or am totally oblivious to body signals, but it can become a fixation if I'm in a situation where I don't feel I have personal control of my well-being. Sp-dom is more like FREEDOM to provide for yourself, and as long as you feel you have that ability, then you may easily forget or become inconvenience by such "maintenance". This is why sp-dom are associated a bit with being detached & independent from people - its as if being too close to others can be a "threat" to your survival. But then this is also coming from an SO-last SP-dom, so forming social bonds & niches is not something I find comforting like many do (rather a chore & a confusing one at that).
    I have a good friend who's sp/so, and I do see some of that in her. She's primarily a loner, with two or three large friend groups that she considers to be like family to her -- but if you're not part of those groups, there's no guarantee that you'll see her very often, because alone time and group time take priority. Whereas I'm so/sx, so for me it's group time first, then one-on-one time with closer friends -- and MAYBE I'll have time for self-care after that.

    How would you describe sp as a blind spot, then? You understand the instinct much better than I do, so you'd obviously know better than me. (My description of sp-last earlier in the blog was a bit like the post you just rebutted...)
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  10. #60
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I have a good friend who's sp/so, and I do see some of that in her. She's primarily a loner, with two or three large friend groups that she considers to be like family to her -- but if you're not part of those groups, there's no guarantee that you'll see her very often, because alone time and group time take priority. Whereas I'm so/sx, so for me it's group time first, then one-on-one time with closer friends -- and MAYBE I'll have time for self-care after that.

    How would you describe sp as a blind spot, then? You understand the instinct much better than I do, so you'd obviously know better than me. (My description of sp-last earlier in the blog was a bit like the post you just rebutted...)
    I wouldn't necessarily say others are wrong in describing an SP blind spot. It is hard for me to imagine having it as a last instinct, much as it must be hard to imagine having SO last.

    I think you touched on caring for your last instinct being bothersome & perhaps making you feel like a weakling or something like that. For an SP-dom, caring for those areas can often feel like a luxury, a pampering, an indulgence - "I DESERVE this because I worked for it" sort of thing.

    To me, an SP-dom mom is not one who would feel any "guilt" in dropping her kids off at grandma's while she gets her hair done, or something like that. It's less about being hardworking & responsible & aware of bodily needs than feeling a perfect, natural right to care for oneself. However, this manifests in a lot of ways. I think my mom is sp first or second, an e6 & SJ, and for her, safety is paramount. There's nothing weak or nerdy or paranoid about making safety a focus. Even though I am SP first, safety means little to me. The e4 fix makes me take a more "pampering" and "indulgent" slant, because self-preservation is more emotional for me. e5 sp-dom can be hoarding of necessities but scornful of luxuries. It's really what the individual deems important for their individual, physical & emotional survival, and that is filtered through the lens of the ego fix.

    I see SP last people as types who feel a guilt or, yes, sometimes a weakness over caring for their individual physical/emotional needs. I think this is why they project materialism or security-seeking onto SP-dom, which doesn't ring true when you are one (much as SO stereotypes can be projections from so-last types). So while I have a certain obliviousness or disinterest in some stereotypical SP things, I don't feel any guilt or weakness for caring for them when I am aware of them. And I tend to be aware of them most when I don't feel in control of the situation.

    For an e1, who is fixated on perfectionism, sp last means less focus on a individual, physical strictness to be "perfect". For example, I notice sp first or second e1s (especially STJs) often follow strict diets, cutting out "bad" but enjoyable things like sugar or alcohol. I've seen SP last e1 types as being self-concious of their "laxness" there when made aware of it, but they don't ever really adopt any restrictions there themselves (not that are they exactly epicureans either). They kind of make an excuse & forget about it. There's a mix of a guilt & dismissal of it as silly. While I've heard them joke about never getting sick, they are less dramatic when they do. SP first/second e1s get all low e4ish when sick. I heard one describe passing out as "fainting". It just sounded SO dramatic. I don't know if those examples help illustrate what I'm getting at - that each type experiences/displays their instinctual stack through their ego fix.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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