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  1. #41
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    am sx/sp

    so last to me is:

    • what the fuck is a 'social safety net' and why would anyone need one?
    • re: networking -- i don't have any trouble with this, however, it's more of a 'know how to use my resources effectively' thing
    • elopement please. want the groom. want the flowers. want the dress. NO guests. :>
    • i love travelling to foreign countries because i don't understand their language and other people's convos just turn to noise. poiiifect.
    • i'll never understand group bonding/herd instincts a la "love my girls, i am nothing without them" -- <<shudder>>
      i find it a very unattractive trait in people, and see it as a weakness in their character.
    • group dinners/meetups are the worse thing eva! torture.
    • i don't really know what kind of effect i leave on people. unless i'm told. and then i forget about it anyway.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  2. #42
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    elopement please. want the groom. want the flowers. want the dress. NO guests. :>
    I can identify a lot with this. I'm scared of people. My INFP is scared of people too, so it will be perfect.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  3. #43
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    See folks, this is why I have a very tough time mapping out my variants. It's like I don't have blind spot, but there are areas of my life that I could give less of a shit about.

    Quote Originally Posted by madhatter View Post
    ISTP 5w6 3w4 8w9 SO/SP.

    My blindspot is SX.

    It manifests in the fact that I avoid intimacy like the plague. I have never had an intimate relationship. I also tend to see SX-first energy as reckless and overwhelming. The idea of "merging" makes me extremely uncomfortable. I definitely put a reign on my more unruly passions. @Maybe, your signature quote is quintessentially SX-dom, while one philosophy I live by ("everything in moderation") is quintessentially SX-last.

    However, I resent some descriptions that say SX-last lacks passion. I don't think the SX-last types lack passion; they just have a different sort of passion, a different focus. It's true that I do not have the charisma of an SX-dom or sec type. However, I am by no means a boring person, nor have I ever viewed myself as such, although I can see how SP/SOs and SO/SPs could think that. I often jokingly say that I have a very boring life. A favorite saying of mine is "same shit, different day." But, I have a rich mental life of ideas and experiences. I can be very charming, when I set my mind to it. But I'm still very detached, and people who want to bear their souls to people they just met is a foreign concept to me.
    All the people on typewatch (a very well known enneagram site) saw me as Sx last. However, I keep reading things like this I NEVER can relate to them. I love intimacy. In fact, I am almost an intimacy junkie. I absolutely love to be close to a lover and fall in love VERY easily. I get close to people VERY quickly and I can literally meet someone in one day and feel like I have known them my whole life.

    The first time I ever fell hard for a woman, I simply met the woman online. I then got her phone number and we used to chat every night for hours on end. I chatted with her for 5 hours every single night of the week. I even lost sleep a lot of times because I was staying up so late and talking with her. It was like she was the only thing that meant anything to me. The lack of sleep that I was getting even effected my work performance and I just didn't care because I just felt so happy whenever I would hear her wonderful voice. Eventually we broke it off, but I still remember her to this day.

    Also, keep in mind that this was just an online thing, when I meet a girl in real life and date her, I'm even more of a clingy bastard.


    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    my blindspot is SP, and i recently made a post to someone who thought i was sx/sp which answers this pretty well:
    See now this doesn't register with me either. How can you take on entrepreneurial endeavors without making sure that you have sufficient capital to do so? Also, how can you be ready to marry a woman without being afraid that it will effect you financially?

    One thing that I consistently struggle with is that I fall in love easy but am terrified of marriage because I am always afraid that I will marry the woman and that we may get divorced and then she may take half of my hard earned money. Not just that but in relationships I am very careful with sex as well. I love having sex with a girl and feeling close to that woman through the act, but I'm constantly afraid that the condoms will slip and that I'll accidentally get the girl pregnant and be stuck taking care of a kid that will take money out of my pocket. I may one day want to have children, but not right now. I'm just not financially fit enough to take care of a child.

    Also you tend to view entrepreneurial endeavors just like my old ESxP 7w8 sx/so manager did. He just completely ignores that fact that he could go belly up and be flat broke and homeless. The fear of being homeless constantly plagues me. Also back when I was in sales, I generally went to work completely terrified everyday. I mean, according to my manager I was an awesome salesman, and I would consistently hit my sales goals. However, many days I had to come to work drunk or high because I was so worried about failing to meet my sales goals and being out on the street homeless, that the fear overwhelmed me.

    One more thing. I ALWAYS like to have a financial safety net. The more money I have in reserves, the better.

    Quote Originally Posted by decrescendo View Post
    INFP 9w1 (952?) so/sx

    I haven't invested much time in laying tangible foundations for my future. I say tangible because I do devote time to thinking about what choices might be best for me, but I haven't been vigilant in getting good grades, seeking out opportunities, or developing certain skills. I just expect that everything will pan out. (This could have something to do with having at least 2 positive outlook types in my tritype, too.)

    I don't take very good care of myself, especially physically. I often forget to eat and take medicine. I never exercise - I'm lazy and thin and don't *have* to for vanities' sake. I'm sure that I would feel better if I did, but I usually don't see that as a priority. Then there's the fact that I spent five years depressed without telling anyone or doing much about it at all, expecting that it would resolve itself.
    I can't relate to this either. I try to take VERY good care of myself and often FREAK OUT over health problems. Also, I am constantly trying to invest in my future. I have an awesome GPA in college and picked a major that will be very financially feasible in the future.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Some good examples of my lack of sp:
    • Response to my allergist when he asked me if I felt any different after two years of allergy shots: Emphatic Shrug
    • Not having a good instinctive understanding of my physical needs. Dialogue between me and sp-using friends: "Ugh, I just feel so drained and burned out..." "Go to bed!" "But I don't feel sleepy..." "You are. Go to bed."
    • Setting aside personal needs in order to get stuff done, and then regretting it later. (See above. I tend to burn myself out.)
    • Seeing caretaking in emotional terms, more than physical terms; being there for someone mentally, but not thinking to offer them things in the physical realm, to help them out.


    ^ This too. I tend to instinctively say "yes" to people whenever they offer things/experiences/invitations, and then realize all too late that I might be overburdened. I also have a very "It'll all be fine!!" attitude about things, that's often misguided, and notorious among my friends. (I blame the 7 fix for this, too. )

    (Note: My sp is probably still a lot stronger than that of many sp-lasts on the forum, @Aleda included, because I'm an SJ and therefore fairly sp-focused by nature. But the thing is, when I do focus on my own physical/mental needs, it's usually as a means to an end, and not as a goal in itself. Something I focus on when it feels necessary -- and ONLY when it feels necessary -- because, as mentioned above, I do tend to undervalue sp foci.)
    Yeah I don't relate to this either. I'm very in touch with my physical needs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    So blindspot
    - networking makes me very uncomfortable, I have no idea how to do it and it makes me feel queasy
    - I am oblivious to my position within the structure of an organization
    - I have trouble keeping up to date with things/people. people frequent ask me "where have you been?" or "what planet are you from?"

    something that's helped me get somewhat in touch with my blindspot (or at least become aware of it in the external world more) is, oddly enough, watching history documentaries. it's taught me a few tricks for navigating group structures, how to see the impact of how an action will effect different groups of people and how people acting in a unified group can accomplish a task far more quickly and efficiently than a single person.
    Once again, I don't relate. I am pretty damn good at social networking, and am very aware of how social contacts can help me or hurt me. However, I don't tend to "work the room" like an So dom that's an extravert (not that all So doms are extraverted). I tend to stay on the sidelines and build one social contact at a time, one-on-one and then utilize those social contacts when I need to. My idea of social networking is like a spider in a web: I trap the one person in my web and work with them one-on-one and build report with them, and then utilize them when I need to. I'm not good at working a room though.

  4. #44
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    am sx/sp
    what the fuck is a 'social safety net' and why would anyone need one?
    the desire for a social safety net is more Sp; the cultivation of a social safety net is more So. I'm also Sx/Sp and find myself thinking "a social safety net would be nice" but I lack the skills to attain one (or, more accurately, position myself over one). this is also Etype related too. it's probably my 6 wing that periodically reminds me that I'm not invincible and need help from people (something my ego absolutely hates at to admit lol).

    re: networking -- i don't have any trouble with this, however, it's more of a 'know how to use my resources effectively' thing
    all I can say is, I'm envious XD

    elopement please. want the groom. want the flowers. want the dress. NO guests. :>
    true dat!

    i love travelling to foreign countries because i don't understand their language and other people's convos just turn to noise. poiiifect.
    I hadn't thought of it this way, but I think I agree. similarly, I prefer to listen to music either without lyrics or sung in a difference language. when I read through the libretto of an opera and see what people are actually saying, I often find it disappointingly petty.

    i'll never understand group bonding/herd instincts a la "love my girls, i am nothing without them" -- <<shudder>>
    i find it a very unattractive trait in people, and see it as a weakness in their character. [/QUOTE]
    same. I don't even understand the concept of needing to belong. I need 1 close friend and 1 lover, and that's all the emotional support I will ever need. most people have hated me my entire life and the only time it's really bothered me is when my physical safety was in jeopardy.

    that said, I guess I can understand its benefit from an evolutionary perspective. people work more effectively in groups and are able to specialize more. when one is part of a large network of people, it becomes easier to utilize the group's resources to facilitate one's own advancement

    group dinners/meetups are the worse thing eva! torture.
    I like group dinners (as long as the company is classy. if it's a bar or filled with low class people, I typically leave), it's just that I have no idea what's actually going on. I'm typically wandering about aimlessly and have difficult engaging in the kind of "catching up" or "getting the scoop" conversations that seem to be the norm.

    i don't really know what kind of effect i leave on people. unless i'm told. and then i forget about it anyway.
    same (though this probably has to do with 8/7. a Social last 3w2 for instance would probably still be somewhat aware of this). it wasn't until I took a few sales jobs (which I failed miserably at) that I learned that, from time to time, there is actually benefit to knowing this.
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  5. #45
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I like group dinners (as long as the company is classy. if it's a bar or filled with low class people, I typically leave), it's just that I have no idea what's actually going on. I'm typically wandering about aimlessly and have difficult engaging in the kind of "catching up" or "getting the scoop" conversations that seem to be the norm.
    Lol. I also do that. Then I drop some funny-sarcastic comment or w/e in the middle of a given group's conversation. Some people love me for that, others find it tacky, but I'm generally known as "ah, that guy who does that".
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  6. #46
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Lol. I also do that. Then I drop some funny-sarcastic comment or w/e in the middle of a given group's conversation. Some people love me for that, others find it tacky, but I'm generally known as "ah, that guy who does that".
    same here, though generally I do so in the form of a subtly perverted comment (you know, the kind that will go over the heads of anyone who would be offended by it while everyone who actually gets it laughs their asses off)
    I can hold a decent conversation, but the social instinct is more about navigating and positioning, two things I'm not so great at. when I enter a conversation, I typically have a disruptive effect on it which tends to be either welcomed or disdained. So doms have this magical ability to quickly pick up what everyone is saying, jump in at just the right time and somehow know when/when not to speak I have difficulty enough with this one on one, doing so with 4-8 people talking leaves me feeling like
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  7. #47
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @Elfboy
    the desire for a social safety net is more Sp; the cultivation of a social safety net is more So. I'm also Sx/Sp and find myself thinking "a social safety net would be nice" but I lack the skills to attain one (or, more accurately, position myself over one). this is also Etype related too. it's probably my 6 wing that periodically reminds me that I'm not invincible and need help from people (something my ego absolutely hates at to admit lol).
    Yeah, I desire a social safety net but it's more for Sp reasons. For instance, I find it important to develop a good social safety net in a job and to make friends with key players in the company. That way if my job is threatened, I can use these people as tools to help me to keep my job. I almost think that So first people make social contacts in order to maintain their social report with others if they were to make a social faux pas.

    all I can say is, I'm envious XD
    I can easily network as well.

    same. I don't even understand the concept of needing to belong. I need 1 close friend and 1 lover, and that's all the emotional support I will ever need. most people have hated me my entire life and the only time it's really bothered me is when my physical safety was in jeopardy.

    that said, I guess I can understand its benefit from an evolutionary perspective. people work more effectively in groups and are able to specialize more. when one is part of a large network of people, it becomes easier to utilize the group's resources to facilitate one's own advancement
    I agree with all of this.

    same (though this probably has to do with 8/7. a Social last 3w2 for instance would probably still be somewhat aware of this). it wasn't until I took a few sales jobs (which I failed miserably at) that I learned that, from time to time, there is actually benefit to knowing this.
    Well this may be true. I may be social last with a strong 3w2 fix and I always know the effect that I have on people.

  8. #48
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i have no idea!!!!!

    i don't think i will ever know my stacking for real.

    i think it's sx/sp but maybe its not at all.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #49
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    Sx/So here. I'm not a very grounded person. I'm always thinking about things I want to do, or things I want to get accomplished, and I get antsy when those don't get done. My energy is like a fighter jet, a phoenix, or a missile. As an 8 comparing myself to other 8's I've met, all of my emotional energy almost immediately emits off of me for everyone to see, and I cannot hide my emotions at all. On the plus side, I have a natural near sociopathic lack of concern for anything that could go wrong, and if I'm not constantly eating food at all times, I burn out very quick and get sullen and grumpy and turn into a whiney bitch.

    With me, there is no singular point of energy to my emotions, just an intense and suffocating heat wave that radiates off of me, and if you stand in my wake or look into my eyes you'll experience intensity, kinda like eating too much wasabi. I also have a tendency to procrastinate going to the bathroom until the absolute last possible moment, which makes for entertaining moments when I randomly hold up a finger to interrupt the conversation and run out of the room for no apparent reason. I love the concept of flight, being airborne. I've always wanted to be a Hang Gliding instructor.

    I generally don't care about anything except freedom and acquiring the money to get there. However I've recently decided a "why the hell not" approach to getting rich.

    I'm pretty sure armored core "White Glint" is inspired by my personality. I also make a fantastic ninja, but Idunno if that's Sp last related.

    I've been told that compared to most other 8's I'm not very grounded. I've posted this a million times, but It kinda feels flighty like how these songs sound:




  10. #50
    WALMART
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    I ride a motorcycle, if you catch my drift.

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