hi. are there any other so sx's out there who are severely disappointed with your cultures?
i want to know what its like for other so sx's, who have suffered this same fate.
how does it change you? say, how were you before as a children before your culture corrupted you, and what are you now like?
for me, i was happy go by heart excessively lively and then i changed into resembling an anti-social sx so, with hate for humanity apparent in my eyes, and dare you greet me.. youll only get a bitter reply of a would be greeting as im annoyed by your contact.
im so disappointed by the disconnectedness in my culture that ive completely given up on people and became the anti-social desperate social connection seeker.
i spent three days with my father in same space and i noticed i changed into superficially overly positive me who can follow my heart, but normally i dont dare to see my heart cause its full of pain caused by the solidary culture so i wouldnt dare to listen it at all, more like outright ignoring it.
but as i returned back to my home, i shortly started to notice i wouldnt have the motivation to follow my heart and think whatever i want to think, and i was returning back to my cold rational anti social bitch. for which reason many in this forum have came to pity, dislike and hate me.
in my unhealthy state, i completely destroy my social instinct and go pure Sx, being extremely intense which is the reason i have medication which dulls me down. that only leaves me with nothing, only my sp which for me is the over the edge rationality im not supposed to inhibit.
this isnt entirely unknown phenomena in psychological spheres, it has been more commonly called "the dark so sx". i have noticed every other instinct too has their own version of this, except the evil instincts (so sp, sx so, sp sx) surprisingly become goodsiders when unhealthy. here a link to one of such dark so sx descriptions: http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/fo...8#.UUZGWxz-E9E