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  1. #11
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    ^It's interesting, some of my best dates/first meetings have been with people where they HAVE vomited, and then I can feed off of that and I can be immediately more open about myself, etc. I've always called that 'great chemistry' for lack of a better word, and admittedly I am kind of biased in using that initial closeness as a gauge of possibility. It makes me wonder if in one dating situation years ago where we had that instantaneous glimmer and talking for hours, and the rush/excitement of that, and the following 2-3 weeks being just as close, and then him freaking out suddenly and backing away and my subsequent petrification and hurt and confusion, was something to do with sx/sp sp/sx in action. Perhaps one of the negatives of it? Dunno. I'm still rather haunted by that, and ever since then have been really leery of using the chemistry as a gauge, even though I can't help myself and I DO get excited about those interactions where I really feel it's meaningful and there's a dual openness and....eagerness? Happens rarely though.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  2. #12
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    ^It's interesting, some of my best dates/first meetings have been with people where they HAVE vomited, and then I can feed off of that.
    Hawt.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  3. #13
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    Hawt.
    Uggh... you are incurable.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  4. #14
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    Uggh... you are incurable.
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CXrBkil...?v=CXrBkil7YoM
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  5. #15
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    I was summoned to this thread but didn't want to respond at first based on obviousness...

    Don't be too needy and relax and give it a longer period of time and things are fine.
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  6. #16
    Retired Nicki's Avatar
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    Try to avoid coming off too strong.
    I really like cats and food.

  7. #17
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    ^It's interesting, some of my best dates/first meetings have been with people where they HAVE vomited, and then I can feed off of that and I can be immediately more open about myself, etc. I've always called that 'great chemistry' for lack of a better word, and admittedly I am kind of biased in using that initial closeness as a gauge of possibility. It makes me wonder if in one dating situation years ago where we had that instantaneous glimmer and talking for hours, and the rush/excitement of that, and the following 2-3 weeks being just as close, and then him freaking out suddenly and backing away and my subsequent petrification and hurt and confusion, was something to do with sx/sp sp/sx in action. Perhaps one of the negatives of it? Dunno. I'm still rather haunted by that, and ever since then have been really leery of using the chemistry as a gauge, even though I can't help myself and I DO get excited about those interactions where I really feel it's meaningful and there's a dual openness and....eagerness? Happens rarely though.
    Yes, if you're an sp/sx, the attraction/repulsion factor is there (more responsive than initiating), which means intensity from someone else can be either magnetizing or annoying, and you may not feel the need to push past annoyances to build bridges (SO blind spot). People have certainly grown on me, but I chalk a lot up to just cliquing or not. I think on the outside it can seem like I'm slowly warming up, but I've kind of already internally responded. I'm reminded of a description of sp/sx types which says others can be surprised at how quickly & deeply we can lock into people, that we attach at a root level. I think it's like a plant growing - there's a time where it's all underground & people are unaware it exists.

    So an sx-dom is best to just let nature take place; you will attract or repel the sp-dom as you do with any other type, and just accept some will not be attracted to you. An sp/so type is probably more likely to be overwhelmed, but may also put up with stuff for the sake of some kind of group harmony (just a loose guess).

    The thing with sp/sx, or at least in my case, is we tend to want to sustain something. There's a desire for pacing so as not to have that burnout described above. I think that's where the stability/security factor comes in, but being sx second you want to sustain a level of intensity. I think the main way we do that is with space - periods of solitude, physical areas which belong to us, private interests we cultivate independently, and generally not being swallowed up so that the excitement dies out from not having anything new to consistently bring in.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  8. #18
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    It makes me wonder if in one dating situation years ago where we had that instantaneous glimmer and talking for hours, and the rush/excitement of that, and the following 2-3 weeks being just as close, and then him freaking out suddenly and backing away and my subsequent petrification and hurt and confusion, was something to do with sx/sp sp/sx in action. Perhaps one of the negatives of it?
    I would think the sp/sx would be more likely to pull away if things got too close too fast, but you list yourself as sp/sx, which suggests he was the sx/sp.

    OrangeApplied's comments about sp/sx wanting to sustain the intensity makes sense to me, as do the approaches - time apart, independent interests, etc.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  9. #19
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I would think the sp/sx would be more likely to pull away if things got too close too fast, but you list yourself as sp/sx, which suggests he was the sx/sp.

    OrangeApplied's comments about sp/sx wanting to sustain the intensity makes sense to me, as do the approaches - time apart, independent interests, etc.
    I do not know for certain what his type was. It's highly possible he was an sp/sx as well, I was just throwing out the sx/sp sp/sx combo, musing whether some form of the combo - whether sx/sp + sx/sp, sx/sp+ sp/sx, sp/sx + sp/sx can run into similar intensity issues. I suppose it's possible I could be sx-dom, but to be honest I've never seriously considered it, because, well, I just haven't. Didn't think it made a huge amount of sense for me, given a number of other things. But, who knows.

    What OrangeAppled said about being more responsive, vs. more initiating rang true for me, though, in that I think I'm more on the responding end vs. the initiating end. I think though for me, there's an element of mutuality sometimes, such that one person opens a door, the other shares/opens as a result of that, and it continues, such that there's a mutual back-and-forth. I think this can happen with two sp/sx's, too, such that it might be hard to determine who truly initiated something. I know for myself, while I don't immediately initiate and am very cautious in who I open up to, if I pick up on more subtle indications of connectivity earlier on, I may feel more open to share as well, so it seems to build upon itself.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
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  10. #20
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    *Moved some off topic posts out of this thread.*
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