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[sx] Sx's who are Introverts

Giggly

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Isn't this kind of a contradictory combo?
 

Giggly

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uh... how so?

Introverts recharge by being alone and Sx doms have an intense drive for intimacy. Seems contradictory to me.
 

highlander

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Isn't this kind of a contradictory combo?

I don't think so at all. From http://www.enneagram.net/sexual.html. Parts of it actually sound very introverted to me. Reading this makes me a bit uncomfortable actually. :unsure:

The "sexual" Instinctual Subtypes are driven by the ongoing search for intimacy and one-to-one relationships. The focus of attention is on "the beloved" and "our intimate world." The primary desire is for a mate, which is manifested by an imbalanced perceived need for wholeness, affinity, and closeness in a continual search for "the other half."

The concerns of the sexual Instinctual Subtypes involve issues of intimacy - for example, "to be intimate or not to be intimate" or "how to be intimate." The survival strategy is abstinence or promiscuity. The common theme statements reflect an inclination to define oneself in terms of the mate and the relationship, such as "what am I?", with this Instinctual Subtype being defined by "how comfortably and successfully I experience my relationship" - i.e., issues dealing with "how am I perceived by my intimate partner?"

The energy projected is described as "high energy" and is often experienced as "intense" and laser-like, appearing to be intently focused, and is usually playful and light, yet penetrating in nature. There is a sense of energy and vibration, the search for the mate, the need to display their strength and beauty, like the peacock showing its feathers or, in some manner, acting out the mating ritual or dance.

The sexual Instinctual Subtypes will "sacrifice for the relationship" to insure connection. Rather than looking inward or to the group for security to "solve the problem," these types tend to "look to the mate," based upon a belief that "I cannot be whole unless I find my other half."
 

Giggly

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[MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] , Why does that make you uncomfortable?
 

highlander

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Introverts recharge by being alone and Sx doms have an intense drive for intimacy. Seems contradictory to me.

But if someone is focused on depth of one on one interaction and intimacy, isn't that normally associated more with Introverts than Extraverts?

[MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] , Why does that make you uncomfortable?

Because I see myself in that description.
 

Giggly

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But if someone is focused on depth of one on one interaction and intimacy, isn't that normally associated more with Introverts than Extraverts?


I read this about Sx:

They enjoy being intensely involved—even merged—with others, and can become disenchanted with partners who are unable to meet their need for intense energetic union. Losing yourself in a "fusion" of being is the ideal here, and Sexual types are always looking for this state with others and with stimulating objects in their world.

That was just confusing to me when I think about introverts.
 
W

WALMART

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No. Imagine someone who sits, moderately alone, outside the bounds of society, longing for something to wander outside with them.


/drunk
 

Zarathustra

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I think it would be helpful to think of introverted sx's as looking at their (current or future) relationship as an intrinsic part of themselves, and thus, while they may still need time alone to recharge, they also really want to spend quality time with their (current or future) significant other. I would also not be surprised if introverted sx's tended to be less on the promiscuous side of the spectrum (since they probably don't feel the need to go out as much), and tended to be more on the one-on-one committed relationship side of things (obligatory PC note: which, of course, is not to say that extroverted sx's are a bunch of promiscuous hussies/man whores incapable of being in committed long-term relationships).
 

highlander

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I think it would be helpful to think of introverted sx's as looking at their (current or future) relationship as an intrinsic part of themselves, and thus, while they may still need time alone to recharge, they also really want to spend quality time with their (current or future) significant other. I would also not be surprised if introverted sx's tended to be less on the promiscuous side of the spectrum (since they probably don't feel the need to go out as much), and tended to be more on the one-on-one committed relationship side of things (obligatory note: which, of course, is not at all to say that extroverted sx's are all promiscuous hussies/man whores incapable of being in committed long-term relationships).

I agree completely with those comments.
 

Giggly

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I think what would be helpful is to think of the introverted sx's as looking at their (real or potential) relationship as a big part of themselves, and thus, while they may also need alone time to recharge, they also really want to spend quality time with their (current or future) significant other, because their identity is so intrinsically tied to that person.

That makes sense. So it's like ... intense intimacy, then alone time, then intense intimacy, then alone time, etc. etc.? Sounds like a hamster running on the wheel, then sleeping in the corner, than awake and back to running on the wheel again, lol


I would also not be surprised if introverted sx's tend to be less on the promiscuous side of the spectrum (since they probably don't feel the need to go out as much), and are more on the one-on-one committed relationship side of things.

I searched on google and I read these descriptions. Somewhere in there is said all 3 like one-on-one relationships.

http://personalitycafe.com/enneagra...-instinctual-variants-sp-sx-so-explained.html
 

ChocolateMoose123

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Introverts recharge by being alone and Sx doms have an intense drive for intimacy. Seems contradictory to me.

It is. But the pull toward someone comes from really enjoying that moment and going with it, there is a curiosity to figure that person out. It can be platonic or romantic. Sometimes even a platonic connection sends the wrong signals. Anyway its followed by their reciprocation. This usually pushes me away, sometimes momentarily, but if they come back super strong and super fast it pushes me away for good.

It's important for the other party to play it very cool. I can be the hamster on the wheel but they should be the slow drip water feeder. Lol!
 
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Ginkgo

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A need for intimacy is very personal, and personal matters are emotional and quite subjective. Since they are subjective, they may easily occupy the mind of an introvert.

If an extravert comfortably fits in a social setting or a setting of intimacy, that extravert wouldn't necessarily have the compulsion for intimacy since the psychological need has already been fulfilled.

"sx" inherently comes with a sort of dissatisfaction with the intimate life; if one feels that they want intimacy that's already been given, it's a bit like he/she has been disillusioned with the one-on-one relationship. (Sounds very introverted and bottled-up, no?)

My point is that "sx" fits just as easily for an introvert as it does for an extravert.
 

Giggly

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It is. But the pull toward someone comes from really enjoying that moment and going with it, there is a curiosity to figure that person out. It can be platonic or romantic. Sometimes even a platonic connection sends the wrong signals. Anyway its followed by their reciprocation. This usually pushes me away, sometimes momentarily, but if they come back super strong and super fast it pushes me away for good.

It's important for the other party to play it very cool. I can be the hamster on the wheel but they should be the slow drip water feeder. Lol!

That would be an Sp maybe? I don't know.
 

Giggly

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A need for intimacy is very personal, and personal matters are emotional and quite subjective. Since they are subjective, they may easily occupy the mind of an introvert.

That's true.

If an extravert comfortably fits in a social setting or a setting of intimacy, that extravert wouldn't necessarily have the compulsion for intimacy since the psychological need has already been fulfilled.

This almost makes it sound like Sx = extroversion

"sx" inherently comes with a sort of dissatisfaction with the intimate life; if one feels that they want intimacy that's already been given, it's a bit like he/she has been disillusioned with the one-on-one relationship. (Sounds very introverted and bottled-up, no?)

I'm not sure what you mean by this. Why would one want intimacy that's already been given?
 
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Ginkgo

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This almost makes it sound like Sx = extroversion

If sx is the need for intimacy, but the extravert feels no need on the basis that he/she is comfortable with what he/she has and doesn't need that sense of "wholeness", then the extravert isn't really typical of the "sx" traits. He/she would be an sp or so.



I'm not sure what you mean by this. Why would one want intimacy that's already been given?

Intimacy is expressed in a number of ways, only a few of which are included in Love Languages. This being the case, one who isn't fluent in another's form of communication won't always be receptive to displays of affection from another, though the affection itself is very real. Consequentially, if both parties want to recognize displays of affection but don't know how, then the need for affection will still be felt.
 

gromit

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I also relate sx energy to "flow" of an activity, in addition to an intense connection to another person. You can be passionately involved in painting, playing a sport, horseback riding, working. You are "at one" with what you are doing, you fully immerse yourself. Every move feels so natural, like you were just born to do it. You have so much energy to pour into what you are doing.

I am sp/sx though, so perhaps that isn't even sx, just something everyone does.
 

Qlip

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I also relate sx energy to "flow" of an activity, in addition to an intense connection to another person. You can be passionately involved in painting, playing a sport, horseback riding, working. You are "at one" with what you are doing, you fully immerse yourself. Every move feels so natural, like you were just born to do it. You have so much energy to pour into what you are doing.

I am sp/sx though, so perhaps that isn't even sx, just something everyone does.

This is on the right track. A lot of my sx is espressed when starting something new, it could be a new relationship, but it could be a project or an interest. I want to merge into it, become it, get lost in it. That impulse doesn't require Extroversion.
 

Lady_X

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That makes sense. So it's like ... intense intimacy, then alone time, then intense intimacy, then alone time, etc. etc.? Sounds like a hamster running on the wheel, then sleeping in the corner, than awake and back to running on the wheel again, lol




I searched on google and I read these descriptions. Somewhere in there is said all 3 like one-on-one relationships.

http://personalitycafe.com/enneagra...-instinctual-variants-sp-sx-so-explained.html
If you feel merged tho do you still require very much alone time? I mean the feeling is that you're complete in each others presence right? Alone as a whole?
 
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