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Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx Considered "Dark"?

Mia.

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Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
821
My best explanation is that when compared with the so-secondary crowd, we are a lot "darker" and more raw. Sx/So's have a greater need to be seen and accepted, so their expressions of sexuality are more in keeping with accepted norms. They're also more overt with their sex appeal. They have big, bright, bold energy that seems to say, "Look at me! Look at me!". When they're really on, they're charismatic, dazzling, and virtually irresistible.

Self-preservation second frames things a little bit differently for an Sx/Sp. Issues of connection and intimacy take on a more urgent and visceral connotation. We prioritize our sx needs above everything else, and there's really no external moderating influence to speak of. At my core there is just this hunger, this need, for more, more, more. Like a fire within me that I wish I could feed until it consumed me altogether.

I think this is why we are perceived to be "dark". We are deeply in touch with those things about ourselves that are not exactly civilized or polite, and we revel in them. We smolder with them. But we take an equal delight in the uncivilized things in others. We want that nasty. That realness. People can sense it, they aren't comfortable with it, so they put a label on it. Who knows, though? Maybe we are fucked up lol.

This does a good job of picking up on various elements of it, especially the underlined.
 

Etherea

New member
Joined
Jun 27, 2012
Messages
102
MBTI Type
xNFP
Enneagram
9
<--------- Exhibit A: roses aren't supposed to be black.

:/ Not doubting your darkness or anything, I just don't think that proves much. Black roses are my favorite flower because they are unique and are cultivated especially. I am a sort of dark individual, but I have a lot of "light" in me as well.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
What [MENTION=7254]Wind-Up Rex[/MENTION] posted is really spot-on. It seems to be about rawness and visceral connection. So has a moderating force on Sx where it draws it out into the social sphere and tempers it by ensuring that your Sx drive is not too polarizing such as to put off others, because you do strongly want to maintain that connection with the greater social sphere. We have a need to be actively engaged and to belong, and as such we cannot devote ourselves to exposing our energy in the same way that an Sx/Sp can cultivate. A Sx/So 7w8, for example, is probably going to be that big, bright, bold force Rex mentioned. Dazzling, irresistible. But not quite raw - that would risk putting people off, losing the global connection.

That isn't to say that Sx/So can't be dark. In my own personal ways, I think I carry a lot of darkness. But it comes from a different source - it comes from the dark spaciousness of Ne and the sacrificial edge of Fi and it comes from the chaos and fear of 6 and the desperation of 7. And of course a Sx-dom is going to be "darker" than a So-dom - our energy is more condensed, more intense, more private.
 

TreeBob

Member
Joined
Jun 29, 2012
Messages
303
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I don't think I would ever use the word dark to describe me. Maybe this is more the introverted Sx/Sp
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I don't think I would ever use the word dark to describe me. Maybe this is more the introverted Sx/Sp

you're also an ESTP. ESTPs aren't known for their dark personalities. being "dark" is generally more of an Fi thing
 

sulfit

New member
Joined
Aug 5, 2010
Messages
495
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
you're also an ESTP. ESTPs aren't known for their dark personalities. being "dark" is generally more of an Fi thing
never heard ESTP being called dark personality
usually distracted, low attention span, playful, inconsistent but dark never :p
 
G

garbage

Guest
On reading this tidbit
sx/sp
Motivation: to know the heart, reconcile inner conflict, form a secure union.
the thought struck me that, in order to truly resolve inner conflict and know oneself and one's heart's desires, one has to slog through a lot of crap. Ergo, there's gotta be a twinge of darkness that gets drudged up every once in a while.

Some people just don't know how to embrace or reconcile that aspect of themselves in a healthy way.

Also: if that whole sx/sp description isn't a bit "dark" or at least a bit "brooding," then I don't know what is. Internally conflicted? Yearning for a missing piece? Restless and torn?
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Also: if that whole sx/sp description isn't a bit "dark" or at least a bit "brooding," then I don't know what is. Internally conflicted? Yearning for a missing piece? Restless and torn?
Well, 2 out of 3 describe me, but I'm sp/sx, not sx/sp. The OP referenced both stackings, but I haven't seen a good comparison of the two yet. How much changes when the stacking is reversed??
 

MissyMaron

New member
Joined
Feb 17, 2010
Messages
4
MBTI Type
ENFP
Well, 2 out of 3 describe me, but I'm sp/sx, not sx/sp. The OP referenced both stackings, but I haven't seen a good comparison of the two yet. How much changes when the stacking is reversed??

I don't think the sense of urgency to find that 'missing piece' is the same for the sp/sx, which is what I am. It is there and surfaces time to time, but I can go on without that desperate craving for quite a while as long as I tend to my own personal goals and needs. Sx energy is pretty distinct and can be intimidating to a lot of people who feel its force of presence. Being sx secondary allows me to tuck it away much more easily and I appear to be one of the least threatening and intimidating people out there. I have a grounded energy, as far as 6w7 and ENFP goes, anyway. I prefer to think of myself as internally intense, but it doesn't mean I can't be "light" either.

As far as "darkness" goes, I do feel I possess it and have a strong attachment to that side of my personality, but I don't immediately send off that vibe. I'm glad I don't. Most wouldn't detect that from me. Warm smiles and giggles from me. I come off very friendly and accepting, a little bit reserved to those I'm unfamiliar with. Being sp dominant makes me prioritize protection of the self first so I'm always weary who I let in.

So as much as I like to think of myself as dark and intense and whatnot, it's not exactly the first thing people have to say about me xD But, that's fine by me. It just means I can reserve it for just me and whoever I feel compelled to show.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
you know...yeah. i totally relate to that. i can see how that applies to me.

sx sp yep
 

Mal12345

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 19, 2011
Messages
14,532
MBTI Type
IxTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Oh, I'm dark, baby. Way dark. ;)

Ok, seriously now.

My best explanation is that when compared with the so-secondary crowd, we are a lot "darker" and more raw. Sx/So's have a greater need to be seen and accepted, so their expressions of sexuality are more in keeping with accepted norms. They're also more overt with their sex appeal. They have big, bright, bold energy that seems to say, "Look at me! Look at me!". When they're really on, they're charismatic, dazzling, and virtually irresistible.

Self-preservation second frames things a little bit differently for an Sx/Sp. Issues of connection and intimacy take on a more urgent and visceral connotation. We prioritize our sx needs above everything else, and there's really no external moderating influence to speak of. At my core there is just this hunger, this need, for more, more, more. Like a fire within me that I wish I could feed until it consumed me altogether.

I think this is why we are perceived to be "dark". We are deeply in touch with those things about ourselves that are not exactly civilized or polite, and we revel in them. We smolder with them. But we take an equal delight in the uncivilized things in others. We want that nasty. That realness. People can sense it, they aren't comfortable with it, so they put a label on it. Who knows, though? Maybe we are fucked up lol.

The important thing to remember is to keep it off of others. Because if the darkness comes out into the light of day, then there are consequences to deal with for a long time.
 

skylights

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Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
i think in terms of sp/sx versus sx/sp, you're going to see a huge "temperature" difference. it's like sp is self-contained, sx reaches outwards, and so opens up. in neutral-negative terms, sp is inert; sx is aggressive; so is passive.
 

Mal12345

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IxTP
Enneagram
5w4
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sx/sp
i think in terms of sp/sx versus sx/sp, you're going to see a huge "temperature" difference. it's like sp is self-contained, sx reaches outwards, and so opens up. in neutral-negative terms, sp is inert; sx is aggressive; so is passive.

In math terms, -1+1 = 0.

I don't think so.
 

Elfboy

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9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx are considered more "dark" because their focus is much more narrow and, frankly, they probably aren't going to pay much attention to you unless you are somehow significant to them. the focus of the instinct variants is
So: the social group, what's going on around them (several people)
Sp: me (1 person)
Sx: my significant other or interest (1 person or thing)

so if you have both Sp (1 person) and Sx (1 person or thing), you tend to be much more closed off to 99% of the world.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
In math terms, -1+1 = 0.

I don't think so.

except it's more like -1 + (.5)(1) = -.5 since the primary variant will always have a stronger drive than the secondary. the primary drive is almost like a compulsion... you can't help but do it. even the most self-contained of sx/sp will still be reaching outwards to satisfy their needs at some level since you prioritize ensuring connection over ensuring self-sufficiency, and even the most outgoing of sp/sx will still be maintaining their boundaries to satisfy their needs at some level since they prioritize ensuring self-sufficiency over ensuring connection.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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Messages
27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
i think in terms of sp/sx versus sx/sp, you're going to see a huge "temperature" difference. it's like sp is self-contained, sx reaches outwards, and so opens up. in neutral-negative terms, sp is inert; sx is aggressive; so is passive.
How do you think the two (sp/sx vs. sx/sp) compare in terms of the idea of darkness referenced in the OP?
 

Lady_X

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Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx are considered more "dark" because their focus is much more narrow and, frankly, they probably aren't going to pay much attention to you unless you are somehow significant to them. the focus of the instinct variants is
So: the social group, what's going on around them (several people)
Sp: me (1 person)
Sx: my significant other or interest (1 person or thing)

so if you have both Sp (1 person) and Sx (1 person or thing), you tend to be much more closed off to 99% of the world.
Yes agreed.

I seek out intensity and if it's not present I just turn to whatever ideas or projects that I'm consumed with.
 
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