My best explanation is that when compared with the so-secondary crowd, we are a lot "darker" and more raw. Sx/So's have a greater need to be seen and accepted, so their expressions of sexuality are more in keeping with accepted norms. They're also more overt with their sex appeal. They have big, bright, bold energy that seems to say, "Look at me! Look at me!". When they're really on, they're charismatic, dazzling, and virtually irresistible.
Self-preservation second frames things a little bit differently for an Sx/Sp. Issues of connection and intimacy take on a more urgent and visceral connotation. We prioritize our sx needs above everything else, and there's really no external moderating influence to speak of. At my core there is just this hunger, this need, for more, more, more. Like a fire within me that I wish I could feed until it consumed me altogether.
I think this is why we are perceived to be "dark". We are deeply in touch with those things about ourselves that are not exactly civilized or polite, and we revel in them. We smolder with them. But we take an equal delight in the uncivilized things in others. We want that nasty. That realness. People can sense it, they aren't comfortable with it, so they put a label on it. Who knows, though? Maybe we are fucked up lol.
This does a good job of picking up on various elements of it, especially the underlined.
<--------- Exhibit A: roses aren't supposed to be black.
:/ Not doubting your darkness or anything, I just don't think that proves much. Black roses are my favorite flower because they are unique and are cultivated especially. I am a sort of dark individual, but I have a lot of "light" in me as well.
2w3 - 6w7 - 9w8 sp/sx
Protip: Assume everyone is mistyped until proven otherwise.
What @Wind-Up Rex posted is really spot-on. It seems to be about rawness and visceral connection. So has a moderating force on Sx where it draws it out into the social sphere and tempers it by ensuring that your Sx drive is not too polarizing such as to put off others, because you do strongly want to maintain that connection with the greater social sphere. We have a need to be actively engaged and to belong, and as such we cannot devote ourselves to exposing our energy in the same way that an Sx/Sp can cultivate. A Sx/So 7w8, for example, is probably going to be that big, bright, bold force Rex mentioned. Dazzling, irresistible. But not quite raw - that would risk putting people off, losing the global connection.
That isn't to say that Sx/So can't be dark. In my own personal ways, I think I carry a lot of darkness. But it comes from a different source - it comes from the dark spaciousness of Ne and the sacrificial edge of Fi and it comes from the chaos and fear of 6 and the desperation of 7. And of course a Sx-dom is going to be "darker" than a So-dom - our energy is more condensed, more intense, more private.
I'd say these stackings are the most attuned to the animal self. Whether this makes them dark or not, it could be but I think there must be some other personality aspects at play. It was mentioned here http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...tual-Stackings that sx/sp and sp/sx inhabit the world of "underground".
I don't think I would ever use the word dark to describe me. Maybe this is more the introverted Sx/Sp
you're also an ESTP. ESTPs aren't known for their dark personalities. being "dark" is generally more of an Fi thing
ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
Motivation: Dark Worker
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
MTG Color: black/red
Male Archtype: King/Lover
"You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
"I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire
Motivation: to know the heart, reconcile inner conflict, form a secure union.
the thought struck me that, in order to truly resolve inner conflict and know oneself and one's heart's desires, one has to slog through a lot of crap. Ergo, there's gotta be a twinge of darkness that gets drudged up every once in a while.
Some people just don't know how to embrace or reconcile that aspect of themselves in a healthy way.
Also: if that whole sx/sp description isn't a bit "dark" or at least a bit "brooding," then I don't know what is. Internally conflicted? Yearning for a missing piece? Restless and torn?