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Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts Instinctual Stacking and Love Language

What is your Primary Instinctual Variant and Primary Love Language?

  • Sx and my primary LL is Gifts

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • So and my primary LL is Physical Touch

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • So and my primary LL is Gifts

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • So and my primary LL is Acts of Service

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Sp and my primary LL is Gifts

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    60

King sns

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2008
Messages
6,714
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
sp/sx- words, touch, quality time, acts, gifts.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
7w6 Sp/Sx

11 Physical Touch
9 Quality Time
6 Words of Affirmation
2 Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts
 

Haven

Blind Guardian
Joined
Apr 26, 2011
Messages
1,075
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
2w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
2w3 so/sp

10 Words of Affirmation
10 Quality Time
0 Receiving Gifts
4 Acts of Service
6 Physical Touch

I like it, I think it works for me. Words are probably more important than time.
 

ygolo

My termites win
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
5,986
so/sp.

1. Quality Time
2. Physical Touch
3. Acts of Service
 

raindancing

actinomycetes
Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
346
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I haven't read much about the instincts, sx/sp seems most accurate from what I know about them. LL has quality time just nudging out physical touch, but they're very close.
However I can't stand physical touch with anyone other than my partner and my son... (and pets!). Almost like it's too intense for me to take with other people, this huge clashing invasion. Cymbals, thunder... I've gotten better at controlling it, but mostly I just avoid. A small brush of the hand when someone passes me something, used to send electricity flying through me, my heart accelerating, breath caught. Didn't matter who it was. Well it still does this, but I've learned to subdue it somewhat. It can make me quite nervous about social encounters. If someone touches me I just can't even think... almost like I'm not wholly myself anymore. I don't know it's hard to explain.
One time (when I was younger) I had just bought a mug at this shop and the salesman handed it to me over the counter. His fingers brushed mine and the shock of it made me drop the mug. It hit the counter and shattered. For a second I stared at him, wide eyed, then I fled. (wow that is embarrassing to recount)

Of course this probably says more about how messed up I am than anything else :alttongue:

So with everyone else I show love with quality time, and giving little gifts that I think they'd like.
 

Cimarron

IRL is not real
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
3,417
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Okay, finally took this test. I think I'm Sp/So/Sx...

1. Quality Time is highest.
2. Physical Touch second-highest.

After taking this, I still think there is a bias either culturally, or on this forum, or in the writers' choice of words that skews results for everyone away from Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts, statistically. Something seems off.

It seems to vary by mood, too.

I also wonder what you guys make of the fact that the Love Language you like to "receive" is not necessarily the one you like to "give." For instance, I think I like showing other people affection by Acts of Service, and maybe if I were more aware, I could see some subconscious appreciation when I get Acts of Service from other people....but so far, Acts of Service is showing up fourth out of the five languages on this test.
 

Phoenix

New member
Joined
Jul 31, 2011
Messages
328
MBTI Type
XNTX
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I also wonder what you guys make of the fact that the Love Language you like to "receive" is not necessarily the one you like to "give." For instance, I think I like showing other people affection by Acts of Service, and maybe if I were more aware, I could see some subconscious appreciation when I get Acts of Service from other people....but so far, Acts of Service is showing up fourth out of the five languages on this test.

My SO and I were having this discussion a few days ago, and realized that our language of giving is different. She prefers to give through touch, closeness and acts of kindness [which is not exactly the same as acts of servitude]. I prefer to give through words of affirmation, quality time and gifts. She prefers quality time and physical touch and I prefer to receive words of affirmation followed by quality time and acts of servitude.

So after analysis of this, we realized that love language of giving of both partners is equally important as love language of receiving. Now we're trying to accommodate each other's language of giving as well trying to understand that without this level of understanding, we'll have longer term problems.
 

copperfish17

New member
Joined
Dec 13, 2009
Messages
712
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
sp/so

1. Quality Time
2. Physical Touch
3. Words of Affirmation

...in that order.

The former two are almost tied, while WoA lies just a bit further down the road.
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Sp/Sx. Quality time and acts of service are tied for me. Physical touch is next.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
sx/sp

1. physical touch
2. quality time
3. acts of service
 

greenfairy

philosopher wood nymph
Joined
May 25, 2012
Messages
4,024
MBTI Type
iNfj
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Sx/Sp

6 Words of Affirmation
10 Quality Time
5 Receiving Gifts
1 Acts of Service
8 Physical Touch
 

FireShield98

Member
Joined
Oct 17, 2011
Messages
455
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp
sp/sx
7 Words of Affirmation
12 Quality Time
3 Receiving Gifts
7 Acts of Service
1 Physical Touch
 

madhatter

New member
Joined
Jun 28, 2012
Messages
114
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
sp/so

1) Quality Time
2) Acts of Service
3) Receiving Gifts
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Sx/So

1) Quality Time ≈ 2) Physical Touch
3) Words of Affirmation
4) Gifts
5) Acts of Service

It kind of seems to me like Quality Time is kind of a given in a relationship... like... do you really have a relationship if you don't spend quality time together?
 

Neutralpov

New member
Joined
Jun 29, 2009
Messages
310
Doesn't it seem that words might have to do with introversion? Don't know where that thought came from but I am extroverted/talkative and prefer words of affirmation? Possibly correlation...
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
1. Quality Time
2. Acts of Service
3. Words of Affirmation
4. Gifts
5. Physical Touch
 

chickpea

perfect person
Joined
Sep 12, 2009
Messages
5,729
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Doesn't it seem that words might have to do with introversion? Don't know where that thought came from but I am extroverted/talkative and prefer words of affirmation? Possibly correlation...

not necessarily, for me it's probably more of an insecurity thing where i need to be reassured about their feelings for me pretty often. also, my current istp boyfriend is way better at giving words of affirmation than my esfp ex.
 

teleforce

New member
Joined
May 7, 2009
Messages
26
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
sp/sx. my two highest are quality time and acts of service.
 

Entropic

New member
Joined
Aug 20, 2012
Messages
1,200
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
5w4 4w5 8w7 sx/sp

8Words of Affirmation
11Quality Time
0Receiving Gifts
7Acts of Service
4Physical Touch
 
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