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[sx] "Then what does it mean Sx insctint to you??"

Mal12345

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IxTP
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sx/sp
I have no intention of bashing the title question or the person who asked it of me. I really believe the question deserves its own thread. What Sx instinct means to me is to take away some of the mystery behind "who I am."

I have noticed that some of the people I have found most fascinating over the years have been Sx-dom. Ayn Rand, 1w9 Sx/Sp (who hated going to parties and when she did, she sat on the side-lines as a wallflower). Mickey Rourke, 4w3 Sx/Sp, I have watched and studied his characterization of Henry Chinaski many times. To paraphrase Henry, "I don't hate people, I just feel better when they're not around."

I may come up with some more examples later.
 

Speed Gavroche

Whisky Old & Women Young
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Ayn Rand: 1w9 So/Sp

Mickey Rourke: 8w9 Sx/Sp

You're really too bad.
 
G

garbage

Guest
It seems to me that the sx intensity leads to a "love 'em or hate 'em" or polarizing quality. That quality seems to be sometimes (often?) paired with them seemingly being out there in the world, perhaps to the point of asserting themselves onto the world, so people are forced to answer the question of whether they love 'em or hate 'em.

I hope that makes sense. I don't type so well with migraines.
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
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It seems to me that the sx intensity leads to a "love 'em or hate 'em" or polarizing quality. That quality seems to be sometimes (often?) paired with them seemingly being out there in the world, perhaps to the point of asserting themselves onto the world, so people are forced to answer the question of whether they love 'em or hate 'em.

I hope that makes sense. I don't type so well with migraines.

Yeah. I'm a bit like that (that's why I type as sx rather than sp). It's linked with my response to the facebook thread: people can have completely diverging opnions of me, I know someone who thinks I'm slow-witted and boring, others think I'm a genius, some people think I'm the devil incarnate, others think I'm the nicest person they have ever known, some employers consider me the best employee they've ever had, others think i'm rebellious and uncooperative. And well, it's pretty much all true, ahah.
 
G

garbage

Guest
Yeah. I'm a bit like that (that's why I type as sx rather than sp). It's linked with my response to the facebook thread: people can have completely diverging opnions of me, I know someone who thinks I'm slow-witted and boring, others think I'm a genius, some people think I'm the devil incarnate, others think I'm the nicest person they have ever known, some employers consider me the best employee they've ever had, others think i'm rebellious and uncooperative. And well, it's pretty much all true, ahah.

I can further get at what sx is about by contrasting it with myself. While I do present myself to the outside world fairly consistently, I will admit that I like it when I'm approved of by others. It bothers me to some extent when I've got someone's disapproval because I am actually compelled to consider their opinion--I, in general, take in as much information as I can, even from my 'enemies.' I also have a drive to reconcile all of this information (which, of course, can cause anxiety).

Sometimes, I conclude that the problem requires some fixing on my end, and I welcome it because it makes me a more well-rounded and capable person. Sometimes, I conclude that it is the other person's 'fault' or that we have different priorities. But I must go through the process of determining whether or not that is the case; I can accept when I am disliked, but I do not simply accept that I am disliked.

I say that I present myself fairly consistently. I also know that I sometimes have a tendency to hold back or downplay how strongly I feel about something (look at all of my "It seems that..." or "I think that..." lead-ins) out of a desire for approval. I'm largely agreeable, accommodating, and unassuming, which people tend to like (I make no value judgment about whether or not this is meritorious; it simply is what it is). The worst thing that most anyone would ever say about me, really, is that I'm spacey or weird.

There's some "non-sx" mixed with some 6 in what I've said above. But by and large, I'd venture that this contrasts with the sx, who might very well simply accept his own polarizing nature.

Ah, more migraine typing.
 

Salomé

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Yeah. I'm a bit like that (that's why I type as sx rather than sp). It's linked with my response to the facebook thread: people can have completely diverging opnions of me, I know someone who thinks I'm slow-witted and boring, others think I'm a genius, some people think I'm the devil incarnate, others think I'm the nicest person they have ever known, some employers consider me the best employee they've ever had, others think i'm rebellious and uncooperative. And well, it's pretty much all true, ahah.

I can't decide if I'm sx or sp, but that sounds like me. Some people think I'm demure, others, fiery, no one ever gets it completely right. I am simultaneously passionate and apathetic, which isn't always easy.

I think sx-doms are inherently unstable/volatile/stimulus-seekers. Which is both exciting and a bit dodgy.

Too many people think being sx-dom means you are an intimacy-junkie. It actually just means you have intimacy issues.
 
G

garbage

Guest
Too many people think being sx-dom means you are an intimacy-junkie. It actually just means you have intimacy issues.
I know I'm postin' a lot in this thread, but this is an important point. I've historically had issues in the social realm myself.
 

skylights

i love
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I think sx-doms are inherently unstable/volatile/stimulus-seekers. Which is both exciting and a bit dodgy.

Too many people think being sx-dom means you are an intimacy-junkie. It actually just means you have intimacy issues.

I fully agree with both of these statements. I continue to suspect I am an sx/so - and as such am slightly less edgy than my sx/sp cousins - but I certainly fall under the umbrella of unstable, volatile stimulus seekers.

I also personally have - probably as a further result of sx/so + NF + N dominant - issues with ideal intimacy. The "soulmate" ideal. A mindmate, sexual mate, playmate, and spiritual mate all in one, with a beautiful, driving, life-or-death romance to bind us.

I do have a certain degree of caring about how I fit in socially, but it is secondary in importance to how I am perceived by individuals and in 1-to-1 relationships. I have more trouble conceptualizing group relations than having a feel on individual bonds, which comes automatically.
 

Richardsen

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I think sx-doms are inherently unstable/volatile/stimulus-seekers. Which is both exciting and a bit dodgy. .

I kinda agree with u.
But beware... This statement can apply too for 7 and 4 people of every stacking.
 

rav3n

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Aug 6, 2010
Messages
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The sexual instinct focuses on attraction and excitement, or, what, apart from the self, seems to promise to expand and intensify life. The life of the self is found in the life of the other. As its name would indicate, individuals who are dominated by the sexual instinct are concerned with sexual fulfillment in the obvious sense of that term, but sexual subtypes are seldom interested in sex merely as a physical act. In fact, a belief that sex is just another physical drive for physical pleasure is a pretty good sign that an individual is not a sexual subtype. Sexual subtypes generally have romantic longings for the ideal partner and hence have high expectations and ideals. By extension, the sexual instinct can manifest in a desire for intensity of many different sorts, but the primary manifestation will generally be a concern with finding the ideal partner, as the sexual subtypes tend to feel somehow incomplete or unfinished without a relationship to ground them.

On the high side, sexual subtypes often bring a certain passion and experimentalism to their lives; they are generally willing to take risks in order to attain their ideals. Sexual subtypes are also usually willing to sacrifice for those who matter most to them; they have an expanded sense of what constitutes the self and tend to merge with those they love. On the down side however, sexual subtypes tend to struggle with issues of neediness and dependency, as they tend to feel that they need relationships in order to reclaim lost or inaccessible portions of the self. In addition, the merging tendency, when taken to extremes, can lead to an inability to protect important boundaries. And the desire for intensity of experience can lead sexual subtypes to take unnecessary risks, to be somewhat impatient and to grow bored or frustrated with mundane reality. When the overall personality is unbalanced, thrill seeking or self-medication sometimes enter the picture, and can lead to various forms of addiction.

When the sexual instinct is least developed, the personality can lack a certain charisma and momentum. Such personalities often do not form truly intimate relationships, as they don’t feel driven to do so; consequently, their personal relationships can suffer from a lack of attention. As there are aspects of ourselves which we can only see when in close relationship to others, those whose sexual instinct remains undeveloped might find it difficult to cultivate some forms of self-awareness.

http://ocean-moonshine.net/e1428573...er_op=view_page&PAGE_id=27&MMN_position=55:55

As an sx-dom, on average, I find myself either heavily drawn to or heavily repulsed by sx-doms, where the former leads to a close friendship or relationship and the latter, leads to total withdrawal.
 

Magic Poriferan

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Too many people think being sx-dom means you are an intimacy-junkie. It actually just means you have intimacy issues.

How can you be a junkie without there being issues?
 

NotOfTwo

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I can't decide if I'm sx or sp, but that sounds like me. Some people think I'm demure, others, fiery, no one ever gets it completely right. I am simultaneously passionate and apathetic, which isn't always easy.

I relate to this, I have a friend who calls me mellow but fiery. I have tested sx/so, don't really get the enneagram stuff though.
 

Such Irony

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It seems to me that the sx intensity leads to a "love 'em or hate 'em" or polarizing quality. That quality seems to be sometimes (often?) paired with them seemingly being out there in the world, perhaps to the point of asserting themselves onto the world, so people are forced to answer the question of whether they love 'em or hate 'em.

I hope that makes sense. I don't type so well with migraines.


Once again, I'm confused on my stacking. I don't see myself as polarizing at all. Most people have either a slight liking or indifference towards me. Often times I just blend into the background and my presence is not or is barely made known. That would suggest SX last.

But here's the thing. Some descriptions of SX instinct also mention about intensity of interests and they don't have to be relationships with others. This I completely relate to. Once I get interested in something, it can completely take over my mind and with great intensity. It may not always be apparent to others but the obsessive interest is there and its difficult to distract myself from it. I rarely get this way about certain individuals but I can definitely get this way about certain ideas (like typology) or certain hobbies.

Also when I'm intimate with someone, I do enjoy having a feeling of one-ness between the two of us. Its disappointing when we don't share similar interests or values because then that feeling of one-ness is threatened.

And on that link of stackings someone posted, I related to the sp/sx one the most. I didn't relate much at all to so/sp, which I previously identified myself as.
 

Speed Gavroche

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I think that being Sx is not simply being intimacy junky, it's being a life junky and nothing more.:newwink:
 

VagrantFarce

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The sx instinct leads to a pre-occupation with things like intimacy and allure, leading to intense and electrifying 1-on-1 relationships. Similar to how social types tend to identify with (and think in terms of) groups of people, sexual types tend to identify with partnerships and couples - being one half of a whole.

Sexual types can be like peacocks showing their feathers - they magnify themselves. Respecting boundaries can be a problem. The truly dysfunctional or self-loathing ones can become completely celibate, or completely out-of-control. The sx types tend to be the most "magnified" or "extreme" variants of the 9 types, as if they were occupying their respective trances "more" than the other variants.
 

spiderfrommars

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Once again, I'm confused on my stacking. I don't see myself as polarizing at all. Most people have either a slight liking or indifference towards me. Often times I just blend into the background and my presence is not or is barely made known. That would suggest SX last.

It's interesting; my friend who is SP/SX is always describing herself the same way, though it isn't true. I think the SX instinct causes her to obsess over whether she is "dull" and blends into the background, things that wouldn't occur to me. Same way a SO-first person is more likely to be anxious in a social situation. And I actually think the SP and SX combo would intensify that, because the person is pulled in two directions at once and their dominant instinct wants to be what their secondary instinct considers "dull".

Do you relate to that at all? Or am I putting words in your mouth? For all I know, you're absolutely right that everyone is indifferent to you– and for all I know it doesn't bother you, as it does my friend.

I'm also not certain if fading to the background is always a SX-last thing. I never identified with that. I can be a little uptight/stodgy (not liking surprises or spontaneity), and might be called "dull" in that way, but I come on very strong and loud. After all, wouldn't a SP/SO be more likely to interact with more people than a SP/SX? And therefore wouldn't the SP/SX be more likely to appear to blend into the background to most people, except those select few they sought out and connected with?
 

Mal12345

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The sx instinct leads to a pre-occupation with things like intimacy and allure, leading to intense and electrifying 1-on-1 relationships. Similar to how social types tend to identify with (and think in terms of) groups of people, sexual types tend to identify with partnerships and couples - being one half of a whole.

Sexual types can be like peacocks showing their feathers - they magnify themselves. Respecting boundaries can be a problem. The truly dysfunctional or self-loathing ones can become completely celibate, or completely out-of-control. The sx types tend to be the most "magnified" or "extreme" variants of the 9 types, as if they were occupying their respective trances "more" than the other variants.

I'm not a peacock kind of guy, I think that's a type issue. I dress casually, not for show. But other Sx types sense the allure anyway, like a pheromone.
 

VagrantFarce

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I'm not a peacock kind of guy, I think that's a type issue. I dress casually, not for show. But other Sx types sense the allure anyway, like a pheromone.

Well, I don't mean to say that sx types are flashy, just alluring.
 

Hazashin

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Same way a SO-first person is more likely to be anxious in a social situation.

So wait, if you're a socially anxious person, does that mean you're an So type?
 
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