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  1. #1
    Senior Member Owfin's Avatar
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    Default What is it really like to be sexual last?

    Just to confirm my own type...
    I don't see any invisible treasure chests.

    • MBTI? ISTJ
    • Enneagram? 6 with a strong 7 wing
    • Brony? Yes
    • Stereotypes?

  2. #2
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    I suppose once you get behind my friendly, easy-going, agreeable facade, I seem detached and not all that warm. I'm not good at being probed or grilled and will give a shallow answer to avoid a question if I feel uncomfortable. I dislike when people fail to restrain their emotions in public or generally cannot/will not attempt adapt/edit extreme behaviour to suit the situation. I like the idea of intimacy but mostly I feel rather awkward about giving and receiving it. I'm not good with affection or letting people know that I care and struggle to connect with others with real depth. I feel deeply and passionately but do not show any signs of this externally. I suppose I seem calm, even-tempered,and laid-back. There is an inoffensive neutrality about me that perhaps can make me seem dull or bland. I am not the sort of person that people find charismatic or compelling to listen to.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  3. #3
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I suppose once you get behind my friendly, easy-going, agreeable facade, I seem detached and not all that warm. I'm not good at being probed or grilled and will give a shallow answer to avoid a question if I feel uncomfortable. I dislike when people fail to restrain their emotions in public or generally cannot/will not attempt adapt/edit extreme behaviour to suit the situation. I like the idea of intimacy but mostly I feel rather awkward about giving and receiving it. I'm not good with affection or letting people know that I care and struggle to connect with others with real depth. I feel deeply and passionately but do not show any signs of this externally. I suppose I seem calm, even-tempered,and laid-back. There is an inoffensive neutrality about me that perhaps can make me seem dull or bland. I am not the sort of person that people find charismatic or compelling to listen to.
    liked your post, I relate to the bolded
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
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    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  4. #4
    Member mikamickmac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I suppose once you get behind my friendly, easy-going, agreeable facade, I seem detached and not all that warm. I'm not good at being probed or grilled and will give a shallow answer to avoid a question if I feel uncomfortable. I dislike when people fail to restrain their emotions in public or generally cannot/will not attempt adapt/edit extreme behaviour to suit the situation. I like the idea of intimacy but mostly I feel rather awkward about giving and receiving it. I'm not good with affection or letting people know that I care and struggle to connect with others with real depth. I feel deeply and passionately but do not show any signs of this externally. I suppose I seem calm, even-tempered,and laid-back. There is an inoffensive neutrality about me that perhaps can make me seem dull or bland. I am not the sort of person that people find charismatic or compelling to listen to.
    I related to all of it!
    I=76%, N=77%, T=79%, P=77%; or
    I=68%, N=84%, T=68%, P=89% (Comprehensive Report)
    Enneagram 9w1 so

  5. #5
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    I would often feel a slight lingering sense of sorrow upon another individual initiating a private conversation with me on a personal level.

  6. #6
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    It's having issues with being out of touch with your sensuality.

    You know that someone is Sx-last when you have a hard time to imagine them having sex and see this as a concrete and serious option, when you imagine them having sex it's looks weird and even laughable because it seems completely out of context with theses people.

    Intensity and intimacy are treated like a bibelot in a cupboard, somethink wich is separated from your body, that you don't feel the energy deeply implanted in your guts, from this perserpective it seems like an ornament, really marvelous at times, but looks artificial and unnecessary at first.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

    Chaotic Neutral

    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  7. #7
    Senior Member Owfin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I suppose once you get behind my friendly, easy-going, agreeable facade, I seem detached and not all that warm. I'm not good at being probed or grilled and will give a shallow answer to avoid a question if I feel uncomfortable. I dislike when people fail to restrain their emotions in public or generally cannot/will not attempt adapt/edit extreme behaviour to suit the situation. I like the idea of intimacy but mostly I feel rather awkward about giving and receiving it. I'm not good with affection or letting people know that I care and struggle to connect with others with real depth. I feel deeply and passionately but do not show any signs of this externally (sort of relate). I suppose I seem calm, even-tempered,and laid-back. There is an inoffensive neutrality about me that perhaps can make me seem dull or bland. I am not the sort of person that people find charismatic or compelling to listen to.
    Hmm, I'm a bit more animated and not as neutral, but I related a lot to the bolded.
    I don't see any invisible treasure chests.

    • MBTI? ISTJ
    • Enneagram? 6 with a strong 7 wing
    • Brony? Yes
    • Stereotypes?

  8. #8
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Owfin View Post
    Hmm, I'm a bit more animated and not as neutral, but I related a lot to the bolded.
    Oh, I'm an animated person too; I didn't mean to say that I'm not interesting at all (that is, I think I'm interesting anyway ). I meant more that I don't tend to inspire strong feelings in others; neither positive or negative. People don't particularly hate me nor love me to bits. I seem to lack the je ne sais quois that people typically look for. I never feel like others are really keen to have me around; mostly they just don't mind me being there and for this reason I'm often overlooked.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  9. #9
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    I like Southern Kross' response. With exceptions being that I'm not inoffensively neutral, and I'm totally fine with being probed and grilled... keeping in mind that I'm very good at detaching myself from answers to probing questions, and by that I mean that I can be very matter-of-fact about (some of) my emotions and talk about them from an outsider's perspective. (I have an ENFP friend who is the same way.) I can have great, intense conversations with Sx-doms as long as they don't expect me to "open up" and talk about my insecurities. I can hear about their insecurities and be fine as long as I remain detached.

    Regarding Owfin's response to Southern Kross' post: I also don't define myself as being all that detached, but friends of mine have told me that I'm not nearly as emotionally open as I feel like I am. I think it's because, on a scale from detachment to openness, the line where I start to feel uncomfortable and self-conscious is much closer to detachment than the average line... if that makes sense.
    Quote Originally Posted by Oakysage View Post
    I would often feel a slight lingering sense of sorrow upon another individual initiating a private conversation with me on a personal level.
    I think I agree with this? When I have very intimate/intense one-on-one interactions with someone, in which both of us feel and express that intensity (as opposed to intense interactions where one of us is intense and the other tries to respond rationally/reasonably/detached-ly), I also feel sad, as well as exhausted, because I'm so bad at having those conversations that my level of discomfort borders on traumatic.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  10. #10
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Oh, I'm an animated person too; I didn't mean to say that I'm not interesting at all (that is, I think I'm interesting anyway ). I meant more that I don't tend to inspire strong feelings in others; neither positive or negative. People don't particularly hate me nor love me to bits. I seem to lack the je ne sais quois that people typically look for. I never feel like others are really keen to have me around; mostly they just don't mind me being there and for this reason I'm often overlooked.
    Not sure how SX last this is, but I also relate to this. I've always attributed it to strong I. I don't reveal alot of myself unless I know someone well so they don't really know me well enough to have a strong opinion of me one way or another.
    INtp
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