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  1. #81
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Some forum members think I'm so/sp, but I've never related to those descriptions 100%. Plus, several people had well-articulated and highly convincing arguments on my instinctual stacking thread.
    Your overall "vibe" seemed SX last, but I don't like to go by pure vibe.

  2. #82
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @Craic

    It's okay, I now know that you were responding to @Speed Gavroche It's all good.

  3. #83
    The elder Holmes Mycroft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    I just don't give a damn. When it's me and my lover, I just let the passion take over, lol.
    I don't get this about people. We live in a society. You can enjoy a fine meal and an intimate occasion with another because you don't have to spend every waking minute scrounging for food and otherwise not dying. You can thank society for that. How can you, in good conscience, ignore everyone else around you and make a spectacle, perhaps affecting others negatively, with so little regard?

    Maybe it's not the time or place. Maybe other people are going through difficult times in their relationships and don't need to have it rubbed in their face, seeing others get on so well. And don't you worry about looking trashy?

    Yes, I'm letting my biases show, but I just can't wrap my head around that kind of attitude.
    Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander Time; for that's the Stuff Life is made of.

    -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1746 --

  4. #84
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mycroft View Post
    I don't get this about people. We live in a society. You can enjoy a fine meal and an intimate occasion with another because you don't have to spend every waking minute scrounging for food and otherwise not dying. You can thank society for that. How can you, in good conscience, ignore everyone else around you and make a spectacle, perhaps affecting others negatively, with so little regard?

    Maybe it's not the time or place. Maybe other people are going through difficult times in their relationships and don't need to have it rubbed in their face, seeing others get on so well. And don't you worry about looking trashy?

    Yes, I'm letting my biases show, but I just can't wrap my head around that kind of attitude.
    You're so negative. How do you know people won't get off on watching other people go at it?

  5. #85
    The elder Holmes Mycroft's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    You're so negative. How do you know people won't get off on watching other people go at it?
    I guess if appealing to the minority of perverts that may or may not actually be in the vicinity is more important than demonstrating class and decorum, that's your prerogative.
    Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander Time; for that's the Stuff Life is made of.

    -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1746 --

  6. #86
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mycroft View Post
    I guess if appealing to the minority of perverts that may or may not actually be in the vicinity is more important than demonstrating class and decorum, that's your prerogative.
    Finally someone who understands me. BTW, you have a strong 3w4 fix don't you?

  7. #87
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mycroft View Post
    I don't get this about people. We live in a society. You can enjoy a fine meal and an intimate occasion with another because you don't have to spend every waking minute scrounging for food and otherwise not dying. You can thank society for that. How can you, in good conscience, ignore everyone else around you and make a spectacle, perhaps affecting others negatively, with so little regard?

    Maybe it's not the time or place. Maybe other people are going through difficult times in their relationships and don't need to have it rubbed in their face, seeing others get on so well. And don't you worry about looking trashy?

    Yes, I'm letting my biases show, but I just can't wrap my head around that kind of attitude.
    I agree with you to some extent, though at the same time, society was engineered so that we can live in security, pleasure, and harmony.

    I'm Sx/So, so I have some degree of societal awareness. My LTR boyfriend (ISFJ Sp/Sx) and I are more demonstrative in public than I had anticipated, but for the most part between his Fe and my So we keep it very appropriate, and I have been surprised by how much positivity and approval we are shown even by complete strangers. Many people come up to us and tell us we look very happy, we're periodically asked when we are getting married, a few people have given us little gifts, and one sweet lady even stopped and told me all about how we reminded her of herself and her long-passed-away husband - this has all come as a surprise to me.

    I think there is also the flipside of what you are saying, which is that often people like to see happy couples in small, non-offensive amounts because it can offer comfort when they think of their own relationships, hope that they might be that happy in a relationship too, and just because it's more pleasing to see happy people than upset ones. It's true that someone might be reminded of their unhappy relationship, but I don't feel a responsibility to act against my personal happiness (eg holding my boyfriend's hand, giving him a little kiss goodbye, or leaning against him in a restaurant booth) for society's sake - because that would be defying the whole point of society in the first place.

    Outside of that, though, we do our best to keep it decorous.

  8. #88
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    I'm Sx/So, so I have some degree of societal awareness. My LTR boyfriend (ISFJ Sp/Sx) and I are more demonstrative in public than I had anticipated, but for the most part between his Fe and my So we keep it very appropriate, and I have been surprised by how much positivity and approval we are shown even by complete strangers. Many people come up to us and tell us we look very happy, we're periodically asked when we are getting married, a few people have given us little gifts, and one sweet lady even stopped and told me all about how we reminded her of herself and her long-passed-away husband - this has all come as a surprise to me.

    I think there is also the flipside of what you are saying, which is that often people like to see happy couples in small, non-offensive amounts because it can offer comfort when they think of their own relationships, hope that they might be that happy in a relationship too, and just because it's more pleasing to see happy people than upset ones. It's true that someone might be reminded of their unhappy relationship, but I don't feel a responsibility to act against my personal happiness (eg holding my boyfriend's hand, giving him a little kiss goodbye, or leaning against him in a restaurant booth) for society's sake - because that would be defying the whole point of society in the first place.

    Outside of that, though, we do our best to keep it decorous.
    ha, this reminds me of how people responded to my ex and I when we were out and about. Everyone always thought we were married, and on one summer trip a group of older couples at a restaurant thought we were on our honeymoon, which made us lol a lot. We weren't obnoxious or anything, at all (I think most would say both of us were more mature in how we interacted in public), but yeah, probably just the casual touches, the way we interacted... I dunno. It's funny, as I hadn't gotten that sort of reaction with previous boyfriends.

    (my ex is an so/sp, fwiw, so he didn't have much issue with minor pda/playfulness in public)
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  9. #89
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mycroft View Post
    How can you, in good conscience, ignore everyone else around you and make a spectacle, perhaps affecting others negatively, with so little regard?
    I worry about PDAs about as much as I care if they worry about tattoos, hair styles, piercings... or put to a higher social norm... same-sex couples holding hands. The context is important in this, however, and not all behavior/attire/etc is appropriate at all times. None the less, I'm not going down the path of solely protecting everyone's sensibilities.

  10. #90
    Member roastingmallows's Avatar
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    My mom is so/sp. I really don't understand sx last people either, though reading this thread has helped a bit. The way I see my mom is:

    She doesn't particularly care to know people on a personal level. It's like we're all pawns and trophies and ornaments and sounding boards.

    She gets a thrill out of appearing "classy".

    She is actually more "intense" than me though, which has much to do with my confusion about instinctual variants. My mom has a very in your face sort of energy, but at the same time she is kind of airy and detached. In reality, I am more intense (in that I have a greater depth of emotion), but she appears more intense. I have an innate desire to truly get to know people on a personal level, and let them know me, but I don't see that in her at all. She is transpersonal/interpersonal and I am personal/interpersonal.

    I just don't get it. I am generally around a lot of sp/sx people, though.
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