User Tag List

First 67891018 Last

Results 71 to 80 of 182

  1. #71
    Ginkgo
    Guest

    Default

    I'm sx/sp, and hopefully this gives the OP some insight if they choose to compare notes and see how alien I am to you.

    I am extremely focused on individuals; the closer I hone in on them, the more sensitive I am to their greater qualities and nuances. Many people seem unmoved by their interactions with others to me because of my subconscious expectations of people to be more similar to my sx preference. I'm sensitive, even hypersensitive to individuals on my "radar". Qualities I admire, aspire toward, am sexually attracted to, or value, are picked up by slight cues I see in others. I'm easily reeled in. In fact, I would say I'm a bit of a sucker in that regard, since my taste is so particular that I have a very broad blind spot in acknowledging what would really be healthiest for me. I'll sacrifice myself to the point where my well-being becomes marginalized as long as I am able to experience the level of intensity I crave. When I am most productive, I am most like a male salmon, making almost suicidal leaps and bounds to subdue an instincual compulsion to have sex get what I want out of life. I can recall so many accounts of me "locking on" to one person or another to be met with shutters, deflections, or The Ignore Feature because ignoring my advances is probably my biggest pet peeve ever.

    There are times when my behavior becomes erratic, not unlike a randomly moving particle, because of my acute, but mostly unconscious sense of magnetism and repulsion from one individual to another. If I try to hunker down for an unbearable amount of time (I'm not talking about physically, I'm talking about mentally), I may even go ballistic; the repression acts like the metal coat on a hand grenade. My communication during times pocked with solitude overflows with intermittent expressions of bizarro behavior or gluttony for a particular craving. Even though I'm an introvert, many who are close to me have characterized me as an extrovert (not MBTI) because of how I make one-on-one interactions my playground in which most things are fair game. However, I tend to be more reserved in group settings in which I value others' opinions of me. At work or at school, around those who I don't consider as much, I have slight, forced outbursts of extroversion because of my desire to make an impact and gather how well I'm received. On the other hand, I'll come up with obtuse schemes to make an impact in ways that start out as more subtle but then develop into unforeseen surprises. Sometimes when I'm unintentionally strange, and I try to explain the reason in what I'm doing, I'm met with "I never know, with you".

  2. #72
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    4 so/sp
    Posts
    6,931

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    I don't really relate to this, and that is one of the main reasons I hesitate to say I am sx-last, actually. But maybe it's just comparatively harder to relate if you're sx-dom?
    I don't relate to the extreme of what was mentioned either. I have always desired and 'needed' a small number of relationships, and need to know there are people who exist out there who I can connect with and relate to and share ideas with.. and feel understood and accepted. And I was always very bothered about the fact that I wasn't ever in romantic relationships when younger / historically never met anyone I was that drawn to or felt we were actually both on the same page, wanting to be in it together. I've spent countless hours in my life being vexed by my lack of 'close' relationships.

    At the same time, though, based on comments I've seen over the years re. enneagram and such, I really don't think my idea of 'connection' is along the same lines as those of an sx-dom. I don't think I connect on a Very-vulnerable-and-raw-and-deep-secrets-and-let's-get-to-the-heart-of-a-person's-soul-and-if-we-don't-it's-not-a-connection sort of thing. I'm never in a rush to get to know people, and I don't believe I need the 'intensity' that I think sx's are referring to. (I could totally be interpreting the comments wrong, thoughu) However, I need my own variety of 'connection' - I've always seen it more as idea-sharing-and-acceptance/understanding-without-a-rushed-timeframe. Shared experiences, too. Just being with someone, the presence and knowledge they value the relationship as much as I. Words may be secondary, esp. as time goes on, although the importance of 'connecting' and maintaining that is always on my radar and if I sense it's dissipating, I try to understand why and revive things. Also, I think combo of mbti+enneagram can add a lot of nuance to things; not as simple as 'all sp/so's are like this....'.

    And fwiw - I find a great number of people uninspiring and I don't 'connect' with most in the way I'd prefer; I'm just not sure it has a whole lot to do with 'intensity' of experience / emotional side of things; I think it's for reasons outside of instinctual variant.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
    https://docs.google.com/uc?export=do...Gd5N3NZZE52QjQ

  3. #73
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INtp
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    5,091

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    I don't relate to the extreme of what was mentioned either. I have always desired and 'needed' a small number of relationships, and need to know there are people who exist out there who I can connect with and relate to and share ideas with.. and feel understood and accepted. And I was always very bothered about the fact that I wasn't ever in romantic relationships when younger / historically never met anyone I was that drawn to or felt we were actually both on the same page, wanting to be in it together. I've spent countless hours in my life being vexed by my lack of 'close' relationships.
    When I was in high school, I bypassed the whole dating thing. I felt rather proud of the fact that I didn't need a date to be happy and I wondered why so many made such a big deal out of things like school dances and the prom. When I got to college, I dated sporadically, yet I never felt that true romantic connection. After college, I did have a couple of deeper romantic relationships, yet at the time I felt vulnerable in them and insecure. I also felt that it hampered my independence. So I wanted out of them. Now I look back and there were a couple of relationships that I think truly had long term potential but I broke them off after a few months all because of my own insecurity. I think I was afraid of rejection and losing my independence and wanted to break it off before he would have the opportunity to do it to me.

    So much of my life was spent ignoring close intimate relationships with others and like you, I regret that greatly. I only wish I would have realized that much sooner. Just a couple of years ago, I brushed off things like marriage, thinking it was better to just go it alone. Now I would seriously consider marriage if the right person came along. Even without marriage, I have found that I do need close relationships in my life, whether it be in the form of friends, family, or some other significant other. I am in the stage now where I'm trying forge more connection with others. I still treasure my alone time but lately I've been craving more closeness with family, friends, and seeking out people that could potentially be LTR material.

    So I'm probably SX last, and had a serious case of the SX instinct being suppressed and now it's just coming to the surface.

    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    At the same time, though, based on comments I've seen over the years re. enneagram and such, I really don't think my idea of 'connection' is along the same lines as those of an sx-dom. I don't think I connect on a Very-vulnerable-and-raw-and-deep-secrets-and-let's-get-to-the-heart-of-a-person's-soul-and-if-we-don't-it's-not-a-connection sort of thing. I'm never in a rush to get to know people, and I don't believe I need the 'intensity' that I think sx's are referring to. (I could totally be interpreting the comments wrong, thoughu) However, I need my own variety of 'connection' - I've always seen it more as idea-sharing-and-acceptance/understanding-without-a-rushed-timeframe. Shared experiences, too. Just being with someone, the presence and knowledge they value the relationship as much as I. Words may be secondary, esp. as time goes on, although the importance of 'connecting' and maintaining that is always on my radar and if I sense it's dissipating, I try to understand why and revive things. Also, I think combo of mbti+enneagram can add a lot of nuance to things; not as simple as 'all sp/so's are like this....'.

    And fwiw - I find a great number of people uninspiring and I don't 'connect' with most in the way I'd prefer; I'm just not sure it has a whole lot to do with 'intensity' of experience / emotional side of things; I think it's for reasons outside of instinctual variant.
    Yeah, same here. I want intimacy but I don't think I want or need the same kind of intensity that SX doms do. In fact, too much intensity scares me off. I prefer to get to know other people more gradually and I also reveal parts of myself more gradually. Even though I'm in the stage where I'm starting to crave more close relationships, I still seem to get along better without being in a romantic relationship than most single people I know. So that probably tells you something.
    INtp
    5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
    Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
    Neutral Good
    LII-Ne




  4. #74
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    xkcd
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Socionics
    INT_
    Posts
    10,733

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SuchIrony View Post
    When I was in high school, I bypassed the whole dating thing. I felt rather proud of the fact that I didn't need a date to be happy and I wondered why so many made such a big deal out of things like school dances and the prom.
    I did that as well, but I think it was more a dismissal of the so instinct (I'm sx/sp) that I didn't need to do what was considered "normal".

    I did want a serious relationship even then, but high school dating seemed shallow and stressful (sp part perhaps scared since it didn't seem sx was going to get what it wanted?). Looooved going off to college! Real relationships!

  5. #75
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    6w7
    Posts
    3,461

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Speed Gavroche View Post
    It's having issues with being out of touch with your sensuality.

    You know that someone is Sx-last when you have a hard time to imagine them having sex and see this as a concrete and serious option, when you imagine them having sex it's looks weird and even laughable because it seems completely out of context with theses people.

    Intensity and intimacy are treated like a bibelot in a cupboard, somethink wich is separated from your body, that you don't feel the energy deeply implanted in your guts, from this perserpective it seems like an ornament, really marvelous at times, but looks artificial and unnecessary at first.
    You know I've been struggling for a long time to determine what my variants are. Many people on another popular enneagram site all thought I was SX last based on the energy vibe that I produced. However, if SX is how you described it, I seriously doubt that I am SX last. I need sex, closeness, and intimacy with a woman. They really make me feel alive. It's just that I'm not like most SX doms who seem like they need to be with their lover every waking moment of the day and text the hell out of their lover's phone at all waking hours of the night. I think I am SX second, and I'm just not sure if I'm a SP/SX or SO/SX.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I like Southern Kross' response. With exceptions being that I'm not inoffensively neutral, and I'm totally fine with being probed and grilled... keeping in mind that I'm very good at detaching myself from answers to probing questions, and by that I mean that I can be very matter-of-fact about (some of) my emotions and talk about them from an outsider's perspective. (I have an ENFP friend who is the same way.) I can have great, intense conversations with Sx-doms as long as they don't expect me to "open up" and talk about my insecurities. I can hear about their insecurities and be fine as long as I remain detached.

    Regarding Owfin's response to Southern Kross' post: I also don't define myself as being all that detached, but friends of mine have told me that I'm not nearly as emotionally open as I feel like I am. I think it's because, on a scale from detachment to openness, the line where I start to feel uncomfortable and self-conscious is much closer to detachment than the average line... if that makes sense.

    I think I agree with this? When I have very intimate/intense one-on-one interactions with someone, in which both of us feel and express that intensity (as opposed to intense interactions where one of us is intense and the other tries to respond rationally/reasonably/detached-ly), I also feel sad, as well as exhausted, because I'm so bad at having those conversations that my level of discomfort borders on traumatic.
    I can't relate to the need to feel detached at all. I get pretty close to people at a very accelerated rate. People often say that they see me as warm and friendly.

    Quote Originally Posted by sleuthiness View Post
    Measured against self-preservation, the position of the sexual instinct merely estimates one's intensity requirements.

    As such, the term itself could be changed to avoid further confusion. Anyway.

    But hey, speedy, cool way of putting it.

    Those who seek intensity (sx) can within intimacy (sp) or the group (so).

    I'm at my most focused with introduced to tons of ideas at once and permitted the freedom to cherrypick whichever, eavesdropping, jumping into conversations, pressing anyone's buttons, without ever holding on. I love saying bye! Probably my fav thing ever.
    That's something that I never got about SP/SX people: they seem like they can drop people at the drop of a hat. I just don't understand it! It seems like an SP/SX could know someone all their life and if that person offended them, they would just cease all content with them....wierd.

    Quote Originally Posted by Speed Gavroche View Post
    It's like having a low libido and read at bed next to Pamela Anderson, drinking tea. You look like you are gay while you are not.
    I don't think that SX last 7's are like this though. I know quite a few SX last 7's that have a high libido. It's just that most of them hate relationships.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thunderbringer View Post
    As a sp/so, I like to be around people but I don't necessarily like interacting with them. Going to movies and concerts or taking a ride in a bus are all very enjoyable things for me because I get to be around others and hear their conversations and see how they act, but I get to be by myself and not have to talk to them or do anything for them.
    I love to interact with people and meet new people. It's just that I'm not like most social doms who seem like they can chat with anyone. I kind of treat people like clothes: I pick out the ones I like from a group and put the ones I don't back on the shelf.

    Quote Originally Posted by Speed Gavroche View Post
    Hum, ok. You're right.

    Though, I still have this image of an Sx-last who read at bed just next to a sex bomb. I'm pretty sure they are likely to do this.

    And for Sx-last women, when they see that their man is not good at bed, their reaction is really that they don't give a fuck. There's often clears differences of libido betweem Sx-last women and Sx-second men, see Katty Perry and Russel Brand.
    I think that Russell Brand is SX/SO. Why do you think he's SO/SX?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mycroft View Post
    Yeah, I'm not really against people displaying any sort of emotion in public. I just think that people should, you know, take into consideration how the way they act is going to be interpreted by or how it will affect others.
    I just don't give a damn. When it's me and my lover, I just let the passion take over, lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    It must be great. Sometimes I wish I could just worry about other things other than relationships. Apart of me always feels like it needs to be with someone, to be able to share who I am totally with someone, or else I don't feel complete. I need a huge amount of intensity, and when I don't get this I get very needy and moody. I get extremely bored too, and boredom leads to depression for me. I'm always focused on people and basically what they can provide, what kind of depth that they could possibly have. I'd make an epic vampire I imagine, lol. It's almost like a lack of intensity in my life and great things between me and individuals is like a lack of blood for a vamp... I just start degenerating and going absolutely crazy, getting more and more and more depressed. It's almost an addiction to find depth to things and to have extremely satisfying experiences.

    I see sx lasts and they seem perfectly content with how their lives are going; and don't seem to really expect much from people. And (ironically, IMO) end up in relationships that they are just fine with seemingly. It seems like sx last is almost demonized by the sx doms, but in reality sx lasts seem to lead very happy lives the most consistently.
    Again, I'm not really like that. I don't have to be around my lover, every waking second to be happy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I confess sx-firsts do seem wound a little too tightly to me and appear easily stressed. I'm more go with the flow and will just shrug my shoulders at things that other people get rather worked up over. I think this projects the sort of serenity that you are talking about; however it can be a superficial kind. It's important to me not to make waves and let the inner turbulence surface too much, so I will usually smile and be pleasant even when I'm feeling upset or uneasy. However, this can also work to subdue the inner emotions a fair amount (eg. feigning that I'm coping can make it easier to cope). Even so, I would say we can seem happier than we really are - only instead of a desperate longing for the things I desire, I experience more of a lingering emptiness that I wish to fill.
    SX firsts confuse me as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    So... what. You worry about belonging/status/the community instead or your financial situation/job/health? You think people who worry about these things are more content? It's just a different hang up, that's all.

    I don't demonize those with sx last, I just have difficulty finding a way to interact, or stuff that we have in common. I like feeling something strong when I interact with someone; if I don't feel that, I withdraw or move on. But I know what you mean. I get disenchanted and if I don't have something to light me up, I get pretty blah and depressed, too. I need to get out of my current malaise, but the trick is how do I do that without chucking the good as well as the bad?
    That was always a difficult question for me. It seems like I am interested in all 3. I am interested most in my health, and next in intimacy with another person. I'm not really interested in my social community, but I am very interested in being seen as prestigious and being seen in the elite upper class. I'm thinking that maybe I'm an SP/SX 7 with a strong 3w2 fix. Maybe it's just the 3w2 fix that makes me that way?

  6. #76
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    18,437

    Default

    @The Great One: For the record, I wrote that when I thought I was sx-last, and I'm definitely not. So it would make sense for you to not relate to it, as I wrote it when I didn't understand instinctual stackings like I currently do.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  7. #77
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    6w7
    Posts
    3,461

    Default

    @EJCC

    Well that makes sense. Although I will say that I have yet to ever come across a so/sx ESTJ. If you are truly SO/SX, you're going down in the history books.

  8. #78
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    1,859

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Speed Gavroche View Post
    It's like having a low libido and read at bed next to Pamela Anderson, drinking tea. You look like you are gay while you are not.
    Sx last

    Sx first
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  9. #79
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    6w7
    Posts
    3,461

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Craic View Post
    ^ Sx last

    Sx first
    You think I'm SX last?

  10. #80
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    18,437

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    EJCC

    Well that makes sense. Although I will say that I have yet to ever come across a so/sx ESTJ. If you are truly SO/SX, you're going down in the history books.
    Some forum members think I'm so/sp, but I've never related to those descriptions 100%. Plus, several people had well-articulated and highly convincing arguments on my instinctual stacking thread.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

Similar Threads

  1. [Enne] What does it really mean to be a 2?
    By themightyfetus in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 02-06-2016, 05:40 AM
  2. What does it really mean to be Fi-dom?
    By Stansmith in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 10-13-2013, 10:09 PM
  3. [Inst] What is it really like to be Social-last?
    By Cloud of Thunder in forum Instinctual Subtypes
    Replies: 83
    Last Post: 03-20-2013, 12:11 AM
  4. [Inst] What is it really like to be Sp last?
    By Elfboy in forum Instinctual Subtypes
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 01-12-2012, 11:33 PM
  5. Replies: 38
    Last Post: 11-11-2008, 01:39 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO