• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[sx] What is it really like to be sexual last?

Hazashin

Secret Sex Freak
Joined
Apr 22, 2011
Messages
1,157
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I think there's a possibility you're a sexual 9, especially from what Sir Elfboy said about you.

I don't know that I see you as a sx dom 6 at all.

I don't think it is a requirement to be counterphobic for being an Sx-dom 6.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
I don't think it is a requirement to be counterphobic for being an Sx-dom 6.

I just think you'd be more intense, though.

I don't know, JTG is pretty intense even though he's an sx dom 9. Maybe you're a sx aux.

You seem to have...gentleness...on top. That's the best way to describe you. Your vibe is gentle. 6 is reactive and sexual instinct is so intense, that the two things added together, even in a phobic, seems like it would be more likely projected outward somehow.

But sexual 9s are still more understated than an sexual 6, in my opinion.
 

Hazashin

Secret Sex Freak
Joined
Apr 22, 2011
Messages
1,157
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I just think you'd be more intense, though.

I don't know, JTG is pretty intense even though he's an sx dom 9. Maybe you're a sx aux.

You seem to have...gentleness...on top. That's the best way to describe you. Your vibe is gentle. 6 is reactive and sexual instinct is so intense, that the two things added together, even in a phobic, seems like it would be more likely projected outward somehow.

But sexual 9s are still more understated than an sexual 6, in my opinion.

Perhaps it's just because I'm a strong introvert? I dunno. I just know that my focus is more towards Sx stuff than Sp stuff. My Sp-dom 6 dad calls me out on my lack of Sp focus all the time. He says things like (though this is paraphrased), "Don't you care about having your room nice in order?", "Don't you care about your health? You only have one go at this merry-go-round," and "You don't think about your future nearly enough. You're too much in the present, and life will eventually pass you by."
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
Perhaps it's just because I'm a strong introvert?

JTG is a strong introvert. However, he is very confident and likes to project his own personality/image outward. He probably has 3 somewhere in his triad, but never-the-less, he's an sx dom. Of course he's sx/so, which may also explain the projection outward (so aux).

I'm actually starting to think I'm an sx/so.

Anyway, even Black Cat, a 9w8 sx dom who is fairly gentle, has a slightly more intense or solid vibe than you do.

I can't explain it. You seem so airy and light to me.

I dunno. I just know that my focus is more towards Sx stuff than Sp stuff. My Sp-dom 6 dad calls me out on my lack of Sp focus all the time. He says things like (though this is paraphrased), "Don't you care about having your room nice in order?", "Don't you care about your health? You only have one go at this merry-go-round," and "You don't think about your future nearly enough. You're too much in the present, and life will eventually pass you by."

Hmmm. Yes, I don't know. I don't claim to know you personally.
 

Hazashin

Secret Sex Freak
Joined
Apr 22, 2011
Messages
1,157
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
JTG is a strong introvert. However, he is very confident and likes to project his own personality/image outward. He probably has 3 somewhere in his triad, but never-the-less, he's an sx dom. Of course he's sx/so, which may also explain the projection outward (so aux).

I'm actually starting to think I'm an sx/so.

Anyway, even Black Cat, a 9w8 sx dom who is fairly gentle, has a slightly more intense or solid vibe than you do.

I can't explain it. You seem so airy and light to me.

Hmmm. Yes, I don't know. I don't claim to know you personally.

Hmm, well, perhaps, I'm just greatly inhibited by my insecurity and self-consciousness? I do occasionally get in moods where I feel very confident and just feel like "letting loose", so to speak. I'm not sure how to explain it. But [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] can attest to this.

Also, I'm not sure if this'll work for you, but I took the test on the official Enneagram's website that costed money, and I got this result:

sinstinctualvariant.png


I think Sp and So are close enough that it could swing one way or the other (and I lean toward Sp, from what I know about myself), but it seems likely that I am Sx-dominant.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Hmm, well, perhaps, I'm just greatly inhibited by my insecurity and self-consciousness? I do occasionally get in moods where I feel very confident and just feel like "letting loose", so to speak. I'm not sure how to explain it. But [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] can attest to this.

Also, I'm not sure if this'll work for you, but I took the test on the official Enneagram's website that costed money, and I got this result:

sinstinctualvariant.png


I think Sp and So are close enough that it could swing one way or the other (and I lean toward Sp, from what I know about myself), but it seems likely that I am Sx-dominant.

I can :yes:
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
Hmm, well, perhaps, I'm just greatly inhibited by my insecurity and self-consciousness? I do occasionally get in moods where I feel very confident and just feel like "letting loose", so to speak. I'm not sure how to explain it. But [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] can attest to this.

Also, I'm not sure if this'll work for you, but I took the test on the official Enneagram's website that costed money, and I got this result:

sinstinctualvariant.png


I think Sp and So are close enough that it could swing one way or the other (and I lean toward Sp, from what I know about myself), but it seems likely that I am Sx-dominant.

Interesting. I just don't get that vibe from you like you're trying to impress people with who you are, separate from the others, or "throwing vibes" as I call it. Like I think ThatGirl is another OBVIOUS sx dom. I tend to think of sx doms as having very intense, big personalities that are easily identifiable or even threatening to some people...or else they have a quieter intensity. I don't even get the quiet intensity from you.

Is it because you're an INFP? Is it because you don't have either Se or Fe or Te as a major function? Am I mixing up sexual instinct with people who have one of those three functions in a prominent position?

I'm even thinking my ISTP is a 9w8 sx dom and he very much throws vibes, but in the quiet intensity way 99 percent of the time in his daily life, with him only being openly extremely intense either during sex or when he's angry or upset.

I mean, your subtitle says secret sex freak and Lord Elfboy says you need a lot of intimacy, so certainly that sounds sx dom (combined with your stacking results, obviously).

It's the sexual 6 I'm having a hard time fathoming. I don't know why, but Speed Gavroche seems to agree.

You asked for my opinion, I gave it, but I can always be wrong. I don't ever feel 100 percent about someone's type unless I've had a lot of contact with them, and I can't say that about you.
 

Hazashin

Secret Sex Freak
Joined
Apr 22, 2011
Messages
1,157
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Interesting. I just don't get that vibe from you like you're trying to impress people with who you are [...]

Perhaps it's because my image fix in my tritype (either 692 or 962) is last? While I certainly don't try to "impress", I like for people to see me in positive light, always. I want to make good impressions on people, but I seem to lack the confidence or skill to do so often. Also, my Sx-ness may just be trying to come out of its shell because I lack experience in many aspects of life, and I'm only 18.

Is it because you're an INFP? Is it because you don't have either Se or Fe or Te as a major function? Am I mixing up sexual instinct with people who have one of those three functions in a prominent position?

I'm even thinking my ISTP is a 9w8 sx dom and he very much throws vibes, but in the quiet intensity way 99 percent of the time in his daily life, with him only being openly extremely intense either during sex or when he's angry or upset.

I dunno. I think it has something to do with it. I think INFPs live in their head more (especially INFP 6s!) than S's and Je-doms, and that might make them act more on their Sx-ness. I know that I often desire to come off as charming and passionate, but I too often doubt myself and become afraid of looking wimpy, undesirable, or boring (which, ironically, happens when I don't do it). I think I like to keep myself in the background so that at least people will have ambivalent feelings towards me than negative ones.

It's the sexual 6 I'm having a hard time fathoming. I don't know why, but Speed Gavroche seems to agree.

I dunno. Perhaps I'm not understanding the Type 6 correctly? I just know that my biggest issue is that I'm too damn insecure and afraid.

You asked for my opinion, I gave it, but I can always be wrong. I don't ever feel 100 percent about someone's type unless I've had a lot of contact with them, and I can't say that about you.

I understand. I just need to ask questions; it's how I learn. I learn best when I'm playing Devil's Advocate (though I'm not right now).
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Sx-lasts on the other hand seem to be more rational when it comes to intimacy. They get fewer relationships, but each has a higher chance of being lifelong

I think were on point with the "higher expectations" bit, and that's probably why sx-lasts tend to have longer relationships. I don't know if they want/need as much as the sx-dom (and that's not necessarily a bad thing).

My step-dad is ISFP e9w8 sp/so. He has major intimacy issues, but he before he married my mom he told people he hates being single. He has a few relationships that he attends to steadily & loyally. I know he would never, ever leave my mom & never, ever be out of contact with his best friend. Yet, I don't think he really opens up to these people & connects deeply with them. There's something kind of simple about his attachments (and some of this may be that 9 idealizing of loved ones going on). Most of his other relationships have a social vibe to them. He connects with people in a community sort of way.

As sx second & sp first, I can relate to taking a rational approach to relationships too though. It has to really be worth it for me to give up that control (because for an sp-dom, independence can be control over their own survival). When it comes to infatuation, I can get a feeling like, "This person will be the death of you - run!" & then later fantasize of being "saved" by that very same person. There's a greediness over my own emotional/mental space & a protection of my comfort as much as I'd like to be deeply bonded to someone else (ooh...now that's 5ish).

I've seen just the opposite. I've worked with many sx lasts, and whenever the subject of relationships comes up they either seem totally disinterested in the idea, or they just simply don't think about it in my experience. One girl I worked with who was an so/sp sticks out to me in this regard. She told me that she is rarely interested in anyone for relationships, and the two she's been in she just couldn't do it. The intimacy was too much for her, she said she felt like she just didn't belong in relationships; and that she was just happier with working and going to college.

I had a semi-similar view when I was about 18, but it was more that I didn't feel like I had the mental/emotional energy to give in a serious relationship. I thought I would never marry or have a LTR, that I would not be emotionally capable of it because it seemed so draining to deal with people. Some of this was Fi high ideals, a honest self-awareness of my maturity at the time, and just plain old negativity & melodrama. I also used to deny I ever was attracted to anyone or that I wanted a relationship. I found this embarrassing like an 8 year old does, and it was because of the vulnerability I saw in these things. It connects to that feeling I mentioned above - that these sort of things KILL you (not literally). But internally there was another very different feeling from what I'd say & act like - the fantasy of someone else & the validation that would bring. I think being 4 also adds a dimension of turning all fantasies tragic, hence the feeling of love connecting to the death of the individual self.

Anyhow, I think at that age, I might typed myself as sp/so, not because I would've related to so, but because the idea of needing someone was frightening to me, and I didn't want to admit any of it. I rejected close friendships then also - total loner mode.
 

Cimarron

IRL is not real
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
3,417
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I've seen just the opposite. I've worked with many sx lasts, and whenever the subject of relationships comes up they either seem totally disinterested in the idea, or they just simply don't think about it in my experience. One girl I worked with who was an so/sp sticks out to me in this regard. She told me that she is rarely interested in anyone for relationships, and the two she's been in she just couldn't do it. The intimacy was too much for her, she said she felt like she just didn't belong in relationships; and that she was just happier with working and going to college.
I don't really relate to this, and that is one of the main reasons I hesitate to say I am sx-last, actually. But maybe it's just comparatively harder to relate if you're sx-dom?
 
G

Ginkgo

Guest
I'm sx/sp, and hopefully this gives the OP some insight if they choose to compare notes and see how alien I am to you. :D

I am extremely focused on individuals; the closer I hone in on them, the more sensitive I am to their greater qualities and nuances. Many people seem unmoved by their interactions with others to me because of my subconscious expectations of people to be more similar to my sx preference. I'm sensitive, even hypersensitive to individuals on my "radar". Qualities I admire, aspire toward, am sexually attracted to, or value, are picked up by slight cues I see in others. I'm easily reeled in. In fact, I would say I'm a bit of a sucker in that regard, since my taste is so particular that I have a very broad blind spot in acknowledging what would really be healthiest for me. I'll sacrifice myself to the point where my well-being becomes marginalized as long as I am able to experience the level of intensity I crave. When I am most productive, I am most like a male salmon, making almost suicidal leaps and bounds to subdue an instincual compulsion to have sex get what I want out of life. I can recall so many accounts of me "locking on" to one person or another to be met with shutters, deflections, or The Ignore Feature because ignoring my advances is probably my biggest pet peeve ever.

There are times when my behavior becomes erratic, not unlike a randomly moving particle, because of my acute, but mostly unconscious sense of magnetism and repulsion from one individual to another. If I try to hunker down for an unbearable amount of time (I'm not talking about physically, I'm talking about mentally), I may even go ballistic; the repression acts like the metal coat on a hand grenade. My communication during times pocked with solitude overflows with intermittent expressions of bizarro behavior or gluttony for a particular craving. Even though I'm an introvert, many who are close to me have characterized me as an extrovert (not MBTI) because of how I make one-on-one interactions my playground in which most things are fair game. However, I tend to be more reserved in group settings in which I value others' opinions of me. At work or at school, around those who I don't consider as much, I have slight, forced outbursts of extroversion because of my desire to make an impact and gather how well I'm received. On the other hand, I'll come up with obtuse schemes to make an impact in ways that start out as more subtle but then develop into unforeseen surprises. Sometimes when I'm unintentionally strange, and I try to explain the reason in what I'm doing, I'm met with "I never know, with you".
 

cascadeco

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2007
Messages
9,083
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I don't really relate to this, and that is one of the main reasons I hesitate to say I am sx-last, actually. But maybe it's just comparatively harder to relate if you're sx-dom?

I don't relate to the extreme of what was mentioned either. I have always desired and 'needed' a small number of relationships, and need to know there are people who exist out there who I can connect with and relate to and share ideas with.. and feel understood and accepted. And I was always very bothered about the fact that I wasn't ever in romantic relationships when younger / historically never met anyone I was that drawn to or felt we were actually both on the same page, wanting to be in it together. I've spent countless hours in my life being vexed by my lack of 'close' relationships.

At the same time, though, based on comments I've seen over the years re. enneagram and such, I really don't think my idea of 'connection' is along the same lines as those of an sx-dom. I don't think I connect on a Very-vulnerable-and-raw-and-deep-secrets-and-let's-get-to-the-heart-of-a-person's-soul-and-if-we-don't-it's-not-a-connection sort of thing. I'm never in a rush to get to know people, and I don't believe I need the 'intensity' that I think sx's are referring to. (I could totally be interpreting the comments wrong, thoughu) However, I need my own variety of 'connection' - I've always seen it more as idea-sharing-and-acceptance/understanding-without-a-rushed-timeframe. Shared experiences, too. Just being with someone, the presence and knowledge they value the relationship as much as I. Words may be secondary, esp. as time goes on, although the importance of 'connecting' and maintaining that is always on my radar and if I sense it's dissipating, I try to understand why and revive things. Also, I think combo of mbti+enneagram can add a lot of nuance to things; not as simple as 'all sp/so's are like this....'.

And fwiw - I find a great number of people uninspiring and I don't 'connect' with most in the way I'd prefer; I'm just not sure it has a whole lot to do with 'intensity' of experience / emotional side of things; I think it's for reasons outside of instinctual variant.
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
5,059
MBTI Type
INtp
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I don't relate to the extreme of what was mentioned either. I have always desired and 'needed' a small number of relationships, and need to know there are people who exist out there who I can connect with and relate to and share ideas with.. and feel understood and accepted. And I was always very bothered about the fact that I wasn't ever in romantic relationships when younger / historically never met anyone I was that drawn to or felt we were actually both on the same page, wanting to be in it together. I've spent countless hours in my life being vexed by my lack of 'close' relationships.

When I was in high school, I bypassed the whole dating thing. I felt rather proud of the fact that I didn't need a date to be happy and I wondered why so many made such a big deal out of things like school dances and the prom. When I got to college, I dated sporadically, yet I never felt that true romantic connection. After college, I did have a couple of deeper romantic relationships, yet at the time I felt vulnerable in them and insecure. I also felt that it hampered my independence. So I wanted out of them. Now I look back and there were a couple of relationships that I think truly had long term potential but I broke them off after a few months all because of my own insecurity. I think I was afraid of rejection and losing my independence and wanted to break it off before he would have the opportunity to do it to me.

So much of my life was spent ignoring close intimate relationships with others and like you, I regret that greatly. I only wish I would have realized that much sooner. Just a couple of years ago, I brushed off things like marriage, thinking it was better to just go it alone. Now I would seriously consider marriage if the right person came along. Even without marriage, I have found that I do need close relationships in my life, whether it be in the form of friends, family, or some other significant other. I am in the stage now where I'm trying forge more connection with others. I still treasure my alone time but lately I've been craving more closeness with family, friends, and seeking out people that could potentially be LTR material.

So I'm probably SX last, and had a serious case of the SX instinct being suppressed and now it's just coming to the surface.

At the same time, though, based on comments I've seen over the years re. enneagram and such, I really don't think my idea of 'connection' is along the same lines as those of an sx-dom. I don't think I connect on a Very-vulnerable-and-raw-and-deep-secrets-and-let's-get-to-the-heart-of-a-person's-soul-and-if-we-don't-it's-not-a-connection sort of thing. I'm never in a rush to get to know people, and I don't believe I need the 'intensity' that I think sx's are referring to. (I could totally be interpreting the comments wrong, thoughu) However, I need my own variety of 'connection' - I've always seen it more as idea-sharing-and-acceptance/understanding-without-a-rushed-timeframe. Shared experiences, too. Just being with someone, the presence and knowledge they value the relationship as much as I. Words may be secondary, esp. as time goes on, although the importance of 'connecting' and maintaining that is always on my radar and if I sense it's dissipating, I try to understand why and revive things. Also, I think combo of mbti+enneagram can add a lot of nuance to things; not as simple as 'all sp/so's are like this....'.

And fwiw - I find a great number of people uninspiring and I don't 'connect' with most in the way I'd prefer; I'm just not sure it has a whole lot to do with 'intensity' of experience / emotional side of things; I think it's for reasons outside of instinctual variant.

Yeah, same here. I want intimacy but I don't think I want or need the same kind of intensity that SX doms do. In fact, too much intensity scares me off. I prefer to get to know other people more gradually and I also reveal parts of myself more gradually. Even though I'm in the stage where I'm starting to crave more close relationships, I still seem to get along better without being in a romantic relationship than most single people I know. So that probably tells you something.
 

MacGuffin

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
10,710
MBTI Type
xkcd
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
When I was in high school, I bypassed the whole dating thing. I felt rather proud of the fact that I didn't need a date to be happy and I wondered why so many made such a big deal out of things like school dances and the prom.

I did that as well, but I think it was more a dismissal of the so instinct (I'm sx/sp) that I didn't need to do what was considered "normal".

I did want a serious relationship even then, but high school dating seemed shallow and stressful (sp part perhaps scared since it didn't seem sx was going to get what it wanted?). Looooved going off to college! Real relationships!
 

The Great One

New member
Joined
Apr 27, 2012
Messages
3,439
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
6w7
It's having issues with being out of touch with your sensuality.

You know that someone is Sx-last when you have a hard time to imagine them having sex and see this as a concrete and serious option, when you imagine them having sex it's looks weird and even laughable because it seems completely out of context with theses people.

Intensity and intimacy are treated like a bibelot in a cupboard, somethink wich is separated from your body, that you don't feel the energy deeply implanted in your guts, from this perserpective it seems like an ornament, really marvelous at times, but looks artificial and unnecessary at first.

You know I've been struggling for a long time to determine what my variants are. Many people on another popular enneagram site all thought I was SX last based on the energy vibe that I produced. However, if SX is how you described it, I seriously doubt that I am SX last. I need sex, closeness, and intimacy with a woman. They really make me feel alive. It's just that I'm not like most SX doms who seem like they need to be with their lover every waking moment of the day and text the hell out of their lover's phone at all waking hours of the night. I think I am SX second, and I'm just not sure if I'm a SP/SX or SO/SX.

I like Southern Kross' response. :yes: With exceptions being that I'm not inoffensively neutral, and I'm totally fine with being probed and grilled... keeping in mind that I'm very good at detaching myself from answers to probing questions, and by that I mean that I can be very matter-of-fact about (some of) my emotions and talk about them from an outsider's perspective. (I have an ENFP friend who is the same way.) I can have great, intense conversations with Sx-doms as long as they don't expect me to "open up" and talk about my insecurities. I can hear about their insecurities and be fine as long as I remain detached.

Regarding Owfin's response to Southern Kross' post: I also don't define myself as being all that detached, but friends of mine have told me that I'm not nearly as emotionally open as I feel like I am. I think it's because, on a scale from detachment to openness, the line where I start to feel uncomfortable and self-conscious is much closer to detachment than the average line... if that makes sense.

I think I agree with this? When I have very intimate/intense one-on-one interactions with someone, in which both of us feel and express that intensity (as opposed to intense interactions where one of us is intense and the other tries to respond rationally/reasonably/detached-ly), I also feel sad, as well as exhausted, because I'm so bad at having those conversations that my level of discomfort borders on traumatic.

I can't relate to the need to feel detached at all. I get pretty close to people at a very accelerated rate. People often say that they see me as warm and friendly.

Measured against self-preservation, the position of the sexual instinct merely estimates one's intensity requirements.

As such, the term itself could be changed to avoid further confusion. Anyway.

But hey, speedy, cool way of putting it.

Those who seek intensity (sx) can within intimacy (sp) or the group (so).

I'm at my most focused with introduced to tons of ideas at once and permitted the freedom to cherrypick whichever, eavesdropping, jumping into conversations, pressing anyone's buttons, without ever holding on. I love saying bye! Probably my fav thing ever.

That's something that I never got about SP/SX people: they seem like they can drop people at the drop of a hat. I just don't understand it! It seems like an SP/SX could know someone all their life and if that person offended them, they would just cease all content with them....wierd.

It's like having a low libido and read at bed next to Pamela Anderson, drinking tea. You look like you are gay while you are not.

I don't think that SX last 7's are like this though. I know quite a few SX last 7's that have a high libido. It's just that most of them hate relationships.

As a sp/so, I like to be around people but I don't necessarily like interacting with them. Going to movies and concerts or taking a ride in a bus are all very enjoyable things for me because I get to be around others and hear their conversations and see how they act, but I get to be by myself and not have to talk to them or do anything for them.

I love to interact with people and meet new people. It's just that I'm not like most social doms who seem like they can chat with anyone. I kind of treat people like clothes: I pick out the ones I like from a group and put the ones I don't back on the shelf.

Hum, ok. You're right.

Though, I still have this image of an Sx-last who read at bed just next to a sex bomb. I'm pretty sure they are likely to do this.

And for Sx-last women, when they see that their man is not good at bed, their reaction is really that they don't give a fuck. There's often clears differences of libido betweem Sx-last women and Sx-second men, see Katty Perry and Russel Brand.

I think that Russell Brand is SX/SO. Why do you think he's SO/SX?

Yeah, I'm not really against people displaying any sort of emotion in public. I just think that people should, you know, take into consideration how the way they act is going to be interpreted by or how it will affect others.

I just don't give a damn. When it's me and my lover, I just let the passion take over, lol.

It must be great. Sometimes I wish I could just worry about other things other than relationships. Apart of me always feels like it needs to be with someone, to be able to share who I am totally with someone, or else I don't feel complete. I need a huge amount of intensity, and when I don't get this I get very needy and moody. I get extremely bored too, and boredom leads to depression for me. I'm always focused on people and basically what they can provide, what kind of depth that they could possibly have. I'd make an epic vampire I imagine, lol. It's almost like a lack of intensity in my life and great things between me and individuals is like a lack of blood for a vamp... I just start degenerating and going absolutely crazy, getting more and more and more depressed. It's almost an addiction to find depth to things and to have extremely satisfying experiences.

I see sx lasts and they seem perfectly content with how their lives are going; and don't seem to really expect much from people. And (ironically, IMO) end up in relationships that they are just fine with seemingly. It seems like sx last is almost demonized by the sx doms, but in reality sx lasts seem to lead very happy lives the most consistently.

Again, I'm not really like that. I don't have to be around my lover, every waking second to be happy.

I confess sx-firsts do seem wound a little too tightly to me and appear easily stressed. I'm more go with the flow and will just shrug my shoulders at things that other people get rather worked up over. I think this projects the sort of serenity that you are talking about; however it can be a superficial kind. It's important to me not to make waves and let the inner turbulence surface too much, so I will usually smile and be pleasant even when I'm feeling upset or uneasy. However, this can also work to subdue the inner emotions a fair amount (eg. feigning that I'm coping can make it easier to cope). Even so, I would say we can seem happier than we really are - only instead of a desperate longing for the things I desire, I experience more of a lingering emptiness that I wish to fill.

SX firsts confuse me as well.

So... what. You worry about belonging/status/the community instead or your financial situation/job/health? You think people who worry about these things are more content? It's just a different hang up, that's all.

I don't demonize those with sx last, I just have difficulty finding a way to interact, or stuff that we have in common. I like feeling something strong when I interact with someone; if I don't feel that, I withdraw or move on. But I know what you mean. I get disenchanted and if I don't have something to light me up, I get pretty blah and depressed, too. I need to get out of my current malaise, but the trick is how do I do that without chucking the good as well as the bad?

That was always a difficult question for me. It seems like I am interested in all 3. I am interested most in my health, and next in intimacy with another person. I'm not really interested in my social community, but I am very interested in being seen as prestigious and being seen in the elite upper class. I'm thinking that maybe I'm an SP/SX 7 with a strong 3w2 fix. Maybe it's just the 3w2 fix that makes me that way?
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
[MENTION=15607]The Great One[/MENTION]: For the record, I wrote that when I thought I was sx-last, and I'm definitely not. So it would make sense for you to not relate to it, as I wrote it when I didn't understand instinctual stackings like I currently do.
 

The Great One

New member
Joined
Apr 27, 2012
Messages
3,439
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
6w7
[MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION]

Well that makes sense. Although I will say that I have yet to ever come across a so/sx ESTJ. If you are truly SO/SX, you're going down in the history books.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
EJCC

Well that makes sense. Although I will say that I have yet to ever come across a so/sx ESTJ. If you are truly SO/SX, you're going down in the history books.
Some forum members think I'm so/sp, but I've never related to those descriptions 100%. Plus, several people had well-articulated and highly convincing arguments on my instinctual stacking thread.
 
Top