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  1. #171
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    Um, yeahhh, that's not the fastest way to get close to people for everyone.
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  2. #172
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Yeah I agree, and it doesn't register with me either.



    That's bullshit, and it totally has to do with sex. They call it the "sexual" variant for a reason. I can't think of a faster way to get close to someone then to have sex with them and the sx variant desperately wants to get close to someone as fast as possible. I believe that the sx variant is STRONGLY related to sex.
    It is about sex, but it is about other things, too.
    Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1
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  3. #173
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    That's bullshit, and it totally has to do with sex. They call it the "sexual" variant for a reason. I can't think of a faster way to get close to someone then to have sex with them. I believe that the sx variant is STRONGLY related to sex.
    There is such a thing as sex without feelings of closeness.

  4. #174
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Well...here we go again...

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    That's bullshit, and it totally has to do with sex. They call it the "sexual" variant for a reason. I can't think of a faster way to get close to someone then to have sex with them and the sx variant desperately wants to get close to someone as fast as possible. I believe that the sx variant is STRONGLY related to sex.
    @Ozones is partly right. The sexual instinct isn't necessarily about sex. Does it touch on it? Yes. It does. Sx-firsts are notorious for having desirability issues, broadcasting their "plumage", and having sexual hangups when unhealthy. But, that's ONE of MANY associated phenomena.

    Sexual firsts are also prone to obsessions, focusing attention on something narrowly till the interest burns out, spirituality and mysticism, having chapters in life that go down in flames, and seeking intensity in all encounters (not just with other human beings, but interests as well).

    However, simply having a strong sex drive is NOT indicative of sexual-first, nor is the desire to want to be in a relationship. That's actually indicative of being a normal human being (especially when young), and is part of the reason many people initially mistype--that, and the rubbish about sx-firsts being "glamorous" and "sexy". Non-sexual firsts can definitely be sexy and experience all this relationship-and-sex stuff, so it's not the best measure of the dominant instinct.

  5. #175
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    Well said. Glad you posted. Let's have the sex.
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  6. #176
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    Q: What is it really like to be sexual last?

    A: It means that Freud will never make a lick of sense to you.

  7. #177
    Junior Member Schadenfreude's Avatar
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    I'm a SP/SO, and asexual. I have zero attraction to human beings (or anything else for that matter). Forging romantic bonds or engaging in intimacy seems more like a waste of time to me. That and I'm a reclusive hermit that fears any form of human interaction. I had to revise this post around 10 or so times before gathering the courage to submit it.

    I hope my therapist will count this as fulfilling my social 'obligations' for the day, or at best, the week. Toodles.
    I apologize for my rambling. I have a tendency to do so.

  8. #178
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    The sexual instinct isn't necessarily about sex. Does it touch on it? Yes. It does. Sx-firsts are notorious for having desirability issues, broadcasting their "plumage", and having sexual hangups when unhealthy. But, that's ONE of MANY associated phenomena.
    where you see desirability issues, i see desire issues. there certainly, for me, is a kind of insecurity in this. but in some sense, it's also just effectively communicating how important it is for them. they want to win! so much of there sense of self is riding on it. they need an intense, explosive kind of fusion to transform them and move them on to their next phase. their bonding needs power and not just choice to hold together under their own internal and self-made external pressure.

    it often takes a long time to recognize that greatness has little to do with being better than others, with having better than others. and that it is more of a result of being better than what you were. then, the sprinter speed focuses on its own domain rather than taking over that of others. then so can share and layer together and spread out/distribute, and sp can empty and let go and find slowness approaching stillness when needed.

    Sexual firsts are also prone to obsessions, focusing attention on something narrowly till the interest burns out, spirituality and mysticism, having chapters in life that go down in flames, and seeking intensity in all encounters (not just with other human beings, but interests as well).
    exactly. some of the self-esteem issues above are from fucking things up and taking stupid risks. maybe not in the so/sx gambleholic sense, but in the, oh shit, i just lost something that was really, really important to me. and some of that is simply because i was so focused on one thing, i could not see anything else. now i feel empty and lost. time to go questing again...

    However, simply having a strong sex drive is NOT indicative of sexual-first, nor is the desire to want to be in a relationship. That's actually indicative of being a normal human being (especially when young), and is part of the reason many people initially mistype--that, and the rubbish about sx-firsts being "glamorous" and "sexy". Non-sexual firsts can definitely be sexy and experience all this relationship-and-sex stuff, so it's not the best measure of the dominant instinct.
    there is a kind of charisma from knowing what you want. a kind of weird holiness. it demands now. it dilates the moment. it screams now now now until it is drown out by the silent roar of nothing, of eternity. this void, this vacuum, the sense of this is real, even as it is also not necessarily the whole truth. as we often find out later.

  9. #179
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    where you see desirability issues, i see desire issues. there certainly, for me, is a kind of insecurity in this. but in some sense, it's also just effectively communicating how important it is for them. they want to win! so much of there sense of self is riding on it. they need an intense, explosive kind of fusion to transform them and move them on to their next phase. their bonding needs power and not just choice to hold together under their own internal and self-made external pressure.

    it often takes a long time to recognize that greatness has little to do with being better than others, with having better than others. and that it is more of a result of being better than what you were. then, the sprinter speed focuses on its own domain rather than taking over that of others. then so can share and layer together and spread out/distribute, and sp can empty and let go and find slowness approaching stillness when needed.



    exactly. some of the self-esteem issues above are from fucking things up and taking stupid risks. maybe not in the so/sx gambleholic sense, but in the, oh shit, i just lost something that was really, really important to me. and some of that is simply because i was so focused on one thing, i could not see anything else. now i feel empty and lost. time to go questing again...



    there is a kind of charisma from knowing what you want. a kind of weird holiness. it demands now. it dilates the moment. it screams now now now until it is drown out by the silent roar of nothing, of eternity. this void, this vacuum, the sense of this is real, even as it is also not necessarily the whole truth. as we often find out later.
    Great post! So true.

    If I could reduce it to just one idea, I'd go for the bolded--your ego rests on your dominant instinct. When your needs here are not being met, you start acting out, getting self-esteem issues, or pressing back against the instinct itself (i.e., become an "anti" type).

    I am so glad I learned this, too.

  10. #180
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by digesthisickness View Post
    Um, yeahhh, that's not the fastest way to get close to people for everyone.
    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    It is about sex, but it is about other things, too.
    Quote Originally Posted by valaki View Post
    There is such a thing as sex without feelings of closeness.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    Well...here we go again...



    @Ozones is partly right. The sexual instinct isn't necessarily about sex. Does it touch on it? Yes. It does. Sx-firsts are notorious for having desirability issues, broadcasting their "plumage", and having sexual hangups when unhealthy. But, that's ONE of MANY associated phenomena.

    Sexual firsts are also prone to obsessions, focusing attention on something narrowly till the interest burns out, spirituality and mysticism, having chapters in life that go down in flames, and seeking intensity in all encounters (not just with other human beings, but interests as well).

    However, simply having a strong sex drive is NOT indicative of sexual-first, nor is the desire to want to be in a relationship. That's actually indicative of being a normal human being (especially when young), and is part of the reason many people initially mistype--that, and the rubbish about sx-firsts being "glamorous" and "sexy". Non-sexual firsts can definitely be sexy and experience all this relationship-and-sex stuff, so it's not the best measure of the dominant instinct.
    Well at least you all agree that it is definitely correlated. However, I guess that yeah, you can have sex without intensity. Lol, I just don't know how to do so.

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