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  1. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    I think sx-last is more about not feeling the need to get to know people (or interests) in great depth; not feeling compelled to "get closer and closer" with chosen object of interest. I think it's more about "sticking to business" instead of following your life's passions. You might be an exciting, interesting person, but at some level, really seeking out deeper levels of intimacy (not sexual intimacy) or that "charge" is just not a priority.
    I'm curious to hear what confirmed sx-lasts think of this, because I've typed as sp/so (4w5) for a while and can't relate at all.

  2. #142
    Senior Member Stigmata's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Owfin View Post
    What is it really like to be sexual last?
    Lots of nights spent knitting alone while catching up on the latest PBS reruns of Arthur and Wishbone.

  3. #143
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanjuro View Post
    I think sx-last is more about not feeling the need to get to know people (or interests) in great depth; not feeling compelled to "get closer and closer" with chosen object of interest. I think it's more about "sticking to business" instead of following your life's passions.
    Sanjuro, I usually agree with you like 99% of the time, but I'm not sure I feel like I agree with this... the few people I know who I think I can pretty solidly identify as sx-last... they are pursuing their life passions, and they do like getting deep with people and interests they care about. But it's like on a much slower timeframe than for people with sx higher, slower and more steady. More cautious about it, more specific about it. It may seem like "taking care of business" from the outside because it's not super infused with intensity, but it can still be infused with dedication and depth of feeling... my sp/so friend I was talking about before is working on her doctorate... and my so/sp best friend is in the middle of training for working with trauma victims... they both care about their life work very deeply and strongly...

    I feel like the people who will tend to be led astray from their life passions... will be e2s, e3s, e6s, and e9s - 2s because they're busy taking on others' burdens, 3s because they're trying to impress others, 6s because they're afraid, and 9s because they resist differentiation...

    You might be an exciting, interesting person, but at some level, really seeking out deeper levels of intimacy (not sexual intimacy) or that "charge" is just not a priority.
    Yeah...

    Maybe an important distinction has to be made between charge/intensity/passion and strength of caring, because sx-last doesn't mean not caring, just not driven by strength of immediate stimulation...

  4. #144
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    I always have 3 or 4 creative ventures at any given moment that I swear I will make the time to do one day.

    You know that moment when you're driving on a freeway and you see your exit come up, but there's no way for you to get there, so you just kinda watch it go by? That's what being sx last is like.
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  5. #145
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haven View Post
    I always have 3 or 4 creative ventures at any given moment that I swear I will make the time to do one day.

    You know that moment when you're driving on a freeway and you see your exit come up, but there's no way for you to get there, so you just kinda watch it go by? That's what being sx last is like.
    yup...and then you promise yourself "next exit", merge a lane over, get stuck again, and the cycle continues.
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  6. #146
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    @skylights, what you say makes sense to me. The sexual lasts I know it's more like The Tortoise- slow and steady- while I'm more like The Hare- fits and starts.

    As a sexual first, I'm more about the charge I get from something rather than it being productive or conducive to my life goals. I think it's easy for sexual firsts to get off track because you get swept away by your passions, whatever they are. Obsession, compulsion, addiction- these are sexual issues.

  7. #147
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    Feeling insecure when sex is brought up. Not being able to make sexual advances because you get the feeling that it is wrong and you shouldn't be objectifying someone like that for your own enjoyment. Constant frustration without release.

    More generally, not being able to interact well with another person, stemming from some mismatch between self and other. Some kind of obsessive pre-occupation with personal boundaries. I want you, but I know you don't want me, so I'll just go and hide ok. Try and find me if you want to, but I know you won't. I stopped looking long ago.

  8. #148
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    @skylights, what you say makes sense to me. The sexual lasts I know it's more like The Tortoise- slow and steady- while I'm more like The Hare- fits and starts.

    As a sexual first, I'm more about the charge I get from something rather than it being productive or conducive to my life goals. I think it's easy for sexual firsts to get off track because you get swept away by your passions, whatever they are. Obsession, compulsion, addiction- these are sexual issues.
    I think I was a sexual first for a few years in my late teens/early twenties.
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    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
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  9. #149
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Sanjuro, I usually agree with you like 99% of the time, but I'm not sure I feel like I agree with this... the few people I know who I think I can pretty solidly identify as sx-last... they are pursuing their life passions, and they do like getting deep with people and interests they care about. But it's like on a much slower timeframe than for people with sx higher, slower and more steady. More cautious about it, more specific about it. It may seem like "taking care of business" from the outside because it's not super infused with intensity, but it can still be infused with dedication and depth of feeling... my sp/so friend I was talking about before is working on her doctorate... and my so/sp best friend is in the middle of training for working with trauma victims... they both care about their life work very deeply and strongly...

    I feel like the people who will tend to be led astray from their life passions... will be e2s, e3s, e6s, and e9s - 2s because they're busy taking on others' burdens, 3s because they're trying to impress others, 6s because they're afraid, and 9s because they resist differentiation...
    Sure, I wouldn't want to imply that sx-lasts have no passion--I know a soc/sp 5 who would contest that to the very end, and I imagine a lot of 4s wouldn't relate to this much, either. But, the last instinct tends to be back-burnered--meaning you do it, but as you've said, in slower motion. We tend to try to cater to the needs of the first two before getting to the third, but that certainly doesn't mean the third instinct doesn't exist.

    Or at least, that's what the literature on it states. I get most of my ideas from that.


    Quote Originally Posted by decrescendo View Post
    I'm curious to hear what confirmed sx-lasts think of this, because I've typed as sp/so (4w5) for a while and can't relate at all.
    I imagine most sx-last 4s wouldn't relate to ideas of not attending to their inner passion. How would you describe your experience as a sp/soc 4?

    (I'm completely content to change my own stacking to sp/soc if you can give me a good enough explanation of it!!)

  10. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by decrescendo View Post
    I'm curious to hear what confirmed sx-lasts think of this, because I've typed as sp/so (4w5) for a while and can't relate at all.
    I can't relate at all either. I just think Social primarily, Self-preservation secondly, and Sexual thirdly. It's really not that hard and it doesn't mean I'm an aromantic person without passion or longing for intimacy or whatever. Quite the opposite in fact...

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