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  1. #91
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    I'm apparently one of these. It's fine by me.

    @roastingmallows's descriptions of that so/sp being "transpersonal" but not caring to know (many) people on a deeply personal level are spot-on for me. With most people, "compassion from a distance" is more my style when relating to others.

    In contrast, however we'd classify them--I find some people to be highly confrontational and too volatile, seemingly making assessments/accusations with way too few data points. When it's targeted at me, it doesn't exactly hurt my feelings; it's impossible for someone who grasps at straws and wavers between extremes to seem credible enough. This is all to say that I absolutely cannot relate to that style.

    I definitely have ambitions, and I'm deeply compassionate and very warm, but passionate would not describe me. I prefer to be more well-rounded and pragmatic than 'laser-like.'

    Being passionate seems like it'd have its merits. I'd peg both my fiancee and my mentor as sx-firsts (though neither is exactly volatile), and they've taught me a thing or two about it. I'd historically tended to see getting too close too quickly as smothering, and I'd feel like I needed an escape. I had to learn to embrace personal intimacy in my primary relationships, and both of them have served as excellent examples.

  2. #92
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    sp/so: I have a very controlled warmth... sometimes it is more of a lukewarm energy. From what I have heard from others, I tend to have a very formal (almost judgmental) outer shell/aura. I would assume it is Fe used to disconnect from people as a shield when my self-preservation needs aren't being met.

  3. #93
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    What is sex for the SP/SO and SO/SP people like? Is it no big deal? Do almost view it like eating a sandwich and you just view as a task that is apart of everyday life, and nothing really that special. It seems like the people that I talk to that are sexual last tend to not care at all about sex. It's just not that important to them.

  4. #94
    Member roastingmallows's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    I'm apparently one of these. It's fine by me.

    @roastingmallows's descriptions of that so/sp being "transpersonal" but not caring to know (many) people on a deeply personal level are spot-on for me. With most people, "compassion from a distance" is more my style when relating to others.

    In contrast, however we'd classify them--I find some people to be highly confrontational and too volatile, seemingly making assessments/accusations with way too few data points. When it's targeted at me, it doesn't exactly hurt my feelings; it's impossible for someone who grasps at straws and wavers between extremes to seem credible enough. This is all to say that I absolutely cannot relate to that style.

    I definitely have ambitions, and I'm deeply compassionate and very warm, but passionate would not describe me. I prefer to be more well-rounded and pragmatic than 'laser-like.'

    Being passionate seems like it'd have its merits. I'd peg both my fiancee and my mentor as sx-firsts (though neither is exactly volatile), and they've taught me a thing or two about it. I'd historically tended to see getting too close too quickly as smothering, and I'd feel like I needed an escape. I had to learn to embrace personal intimacy in my primary relationships, and both of them have served as excellent examples.
    Oh, good. I'm glad you actually related to that and didn't find it offensive. I rather respect your opinions. I still don't get it, but man, that's cool I guess. Do you believe that this type (either sx last) is actually more common than all the supposed sx types we see on here?

    I find it so interesting that the description of so/sp I gave seemed kind of harsh to me, yet you relate and don't see it as negative. As an sx type I suppose, it's very important for me to know people on a more personal level. Not EVERYONE. Just the people that matter. Also, do you think that being confrontational/volatile is universal to sx types? I don't consider myself to be either of those things, but maybe it is relative. You did mention that your mentor and fiancee are both sx firsts and they seem a bit more moderate...

    People are so weird and different. I like it.
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  5. #95
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    I'd peg both my fiancee and my mentor as sx-firsts (though neither is exactly volatile), and they've taught me a thing or two about it. I'd historically tended to see getting too close too quickly as smothering, and I'd feel like I needed an escape. I had to learn to embrace personal intimacy in my primary relationships, and both of them have served as excellent examples.
    If you don't mind a pretty personal question, @bologna, how is it to have your fiancee be sx-first and you being sx-last? Do you guys run into any issues regarding that, and do you bond in an Sp or So way mainly instead?

  6. #96
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    If you don't mind a pretty personal question, @bologna, how is it to have your fiancee be sx-first and you being sx-last? Do you guys run into any issues regarding that, and do you bond in an Sp or So way mainly instead?
    Yeah I was about to bring up the same thing.

  7. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by roastingmallows View Post
    Do you believe that this type (either sx last) is actually more common than all the supposed sx types we see on here?
    I don't think so. I don't think the question's too important, though; I simply roll with "if the shoe fits..."
    I find it so interesting that the description of so/sp I gave seemed kind of harsh to me, yet you relate and don't see it as negative.
    That's pretty interesting, yeah. I'm sure that, in contrast, one man's "making wild-ass accusations" is another man's "being passionate"--that is, that what I see as a negative is conversely seen as a positive.

    They're all just ways of navigating the world, man. :weed-smoking smiley:
    Also, do you think that being confrontational/volatile is universal to sx types? I don't consider myself to be either of those things, but maybe it is relative. You did mention that your mentor and fiancee are both sx firsts and they seem a bit more moderate...
    I don't think it's universal. The important thing is that it's relative--if one person is fiery and passionate (or terribly dry and boring) compared to you, from your vantage point, then it can be dealt with accordingly.

    Mature people are more well-rounded. Immature people are too cold or too fiery. They'll either warm up or cool down when needed, as life has kicked them in the dick and told them that they have to be.

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    If you don't mind a pretty personal question, @bologna, how is it to have your fiancee be sx-first and you being sx-last? Do you guys run into any issues regarding that, and do you bond in an Sp or So way mainly instead?
    Nope! People is people, man, and we deal accordingly. I had to learn the value of one-on-one intimacy, and we both had to maintain our patience as we figured one another out.

  8. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    What is sex for the SP/SO and SO/SP people like? Is it no big deal? Do almost view it like eating a sandwich and you just view as a task that is apart of everyday life, and nothing really that special. It seems like the people that I talk to that are sexual last tend to not care at all about sex. It's just not that important to them.
    Is this a serious question?
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
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    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  9. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Is this a serious question?
    Very serious.

  10. #100
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    I think the idea that sexual desire = SX is off-base. (I have to wonder if this misconception is contributing to the disproportionately large number of members claiming to be SX first or second.)

    One's libido (in the Freudian sense) is almost certainly a component of one's psychological and physiological composition.

    I do, however, think SX-last types are less inclined to discuss or more inclined to downplay private matters.
    Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander Time; for that's the Stuff Life is made of.

    -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1746 --

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