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Thread: Sx Obsessions

  1. #11
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    The core characteristic of sx doms is that they are driven to develop 1-0n-1 relationships. Even though the sexual tendency is to be attracted to those you are sexually attracted to, sx instincts are also concerned with all other 1-0n-one relationships. I wonder if we could take this further and say that sx drives us to develop relationships with ideas, objects, causes, and other things - relationships that border on obsession or hobby. Do you think this is feasible? If it is, are our definitions of the sx drive too narrow?
    I like this broader definition a lot better. I think it's incredibly feasible. I am driven to create strong one-on-one bonds with other people, and the same kind of force applies when I am interested in some kind of subject.

  2. #12
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    YAY i was thinking about making a thread like this a couple days ago. you beat me to it!

    i absolutely think so, and i get frustrated with all the sexy-confusion with the sx drive, because (though i actually do have a pretty strong sex drive) i have not really ever considered much of my identity to revolve around sex.

    Quote Originally Posted by AphroditeGoneAwry
    But I call myself a 'purist' when I am interested in something, or even someone. I like to trace back to its origins to become acquainted with it, work or study it to roll it around in my mind--applying my own twist or style to it, if necessary, and if it sticks I will pretty much do it forever.


    i tend to get in long, very close relationships with a single friend; i have a very hard time dealing with more than one person on the same "level" at once (when i am connecting with a group it feels more like i am connecting with many individuals, rather than the group as a whole); i have a rocky love-hate relationship with food; this forum, etc...

    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    Yes I agree. I think there's this intense immediate feeling any time you're really into something you're doing. Like climbing for me. A rush of adrenaline, a sense of being a part something, moving over or around, reacting to obstacles but everything seeming almost natural, like this is what I was born to do. I had sort of always associated it with sx for some reason. That intensity I guess.

    I believe @wolfy had talked about the idea of 'flow' before. Seems kind of similar to me.
    YES.

    i wrote some on the concept of flow and writing for an assignment once... it's what niffer said. metaphorical orgasm.

    someone on the forum has also mentioned sx and "feeling" chemistry between people. like you just know how you connect; there's a tangible, readable atmosphere between the two of you and you can both sense it. one day an sx dom male friend of mine called out across a room to me something like, "there's crazy tension between us". it was true. there was huge sexual tension between us. but it was so funny, neither of us had even spoken to each other or interacted that day, there was no way either of us should have known that...

  3. #13
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    These thoughts cross my mind with this hypothesis:
    1. People are concepts to me so it's not much of a logical stretch that other concepts would also be of intense interest.
    2. Sx is intimacy. You can only become intimate with intangible or inanimate objects if it's one-sided. So the question is, is this true intimacy or just a delusion?
    3. Why this drive for intimacy? If you consider intellectual hoarding whereby to understand is a form of control, is sx a form of emotional control?

  4. #14
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    Hey, sx types:

    romance, "merging" with someone, becoming one half of a whole, making a dent in the universe, allure - are these the sort of things that occupy you in your life? If not, how would you describe it?

    An even better question: How would you differentiate this fixation from the other two instincts?
    Hello

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by VagrantFarce View Post
    Hey, sx types:

    1-romance, "merging" with someone, becoming one half of a whole - are these the sort of things that occupy you? If not, how would you describe it?

    An even better question: How would you differentiate this fixation from the other two instincts?
    1- That concept sort of occupies me. I am not currently in a relationship and at this time, I have no desire for one. In thinking about this topic I have a very push-pull way of describing it. I have one drive to bond very strongly with someone, but I have an almost equally strong drive to contain myself independently and with a separation from others. It is both one of my greatest inner desires and greatest fears all wrapped into one.

    2- I am strong SP second and that manifests itself in me as a desire to be separate from others, to take care of myself on my own tyvm, and to provide for myself without depending on external help. SO sort of elludes me... I understand the need for SO but I have difficulty applying that ability to myself a lot of the time. I have to sort stifle my inner peanut gallery at times.

  6. #16
    brainheart
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    Quote Originally Posted by VagrantFarce View Post
    Hey, sx types:

    romance, "merging" with someone, becoming one half of a whole, making a dent in the universe, allure - are these the sort of things that occupy you in your life? If not, how would you describe it?
    Finding the thing that I will be completely passionate about- something to channel my energy into and something which gives me energy- the one true perfect thing, having people in my life I feel strong connections to (and connecting with them), those are the things which occupy my time.

    I like the plug looking for a socket analogy for the way I live my life. It's all about energy, finding energy sources, things and people that make me feel alive. And when I get disconnected from the socket, I lose my energy. I feel very dependent on it.

  7. #17
    Member Bamboozle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    Finding the thing that I will be completely passionate about- something to channel my energy into and something which gives me energy- the one true perfect thing, having people in my life I feel strong connections to (and connecting with them), those are the things which occupy my time.

    I like the plug looking for a socket analogy for the way I live my life. It's all about energy, finding energy sources, things and people that make me feel alive. And when I get disconnected from the socket, I lose my energy. I feel very dependent on it.
    I agree. It's disastrous when I tie myself/commit myself to something (e.g. a project) and then it stops giving me energy. I keep trying anyway but mainly it just gets tiring.

    ETA: This is spot on, btw:

    Quote Originally Posted by gromit
    I think there's this intense immediate feeling any time you're really into something you're doing. Like climbing for me. A rush of adrenaline, a sense of being a part something, moving over or around, reacting to obstacles but everything seeming almost natural, like this is what I was born to do. I had sort of always associated it with sx for some reason. That intensity I guess.
    3 INTP

  8. #18
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by VagrantFarce View Post
    Hey, sx types:

    romance, "merging" with someone, becoming one half of a whole, making a dent in the universe, allure - are these the sort of things that occupy you in your life? If not, how would you describe it?

    An even better question: How would you differentiate this fixation from the other two instincts?
    Yes they occupy me.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    The core characteristic of sx doms is that they are driven to develop 1-0n-1 relationships. Even though the sexual tendency is to be attracted to those you are sexually attracted to, sx instincts are also concerned with all other 1-0n-one relationships. I wonder if we could take this further and say that sx drives us to develop relationships with ideas, objects, causes, and other things - relationships that border on obsession or hobby. Do you think this is feasible? If it is, are our definitions of the sx drive too narrow?
    perhaps...i do feel pretty intimately involved with my interests....like...i don't just like modernism or minimalism ...it's a part of my soul...the feeling of it is somehow in a way representative of my thought processes and emotional needs...i identify with stripping away all of the clutter and fluff...the filler...for purity...truth...quality...value...necessities...o r whatever...yes...in a way all of the things i love are intimately connected to the way identify myself.

    now that i've typed that out tho i can't imagine that not being true for everybody.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    Finding the thing that I will be completely passionate about- something to channel my energy into and something which gives me energy- the one true perfect thing, having people in my life I feel strong connections to (and connecting with them), those are the things which occupy my time.

    I like the plug looking for a socket analogy for the way I live my life. It's all about energy, finding energy sources, things and people that make me feel alive. And when I get disconnected from the socket, I lose my energy. I feel very dependent on it.
    i have said that very thing. i thought i made it up hahaha but i thought it was an extravert thing...interesting.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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