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  1. #1
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Default So, Sx and Friendship

    I have a question concerning Enneagram subtypes/instincts. Theoretically, the Sx subtype is concerned with intimacy and passion, while the So subtype focuses on the social arena - groups, institutions, social movements, subcultures, etc. So far, so good.

    But... Does "intimacy" always mean romantic intimacy? What about developing one-on-one relationships with non-romantic/non-family people, like a close group of friends? Is that a So domain activity, or a Sx one?

  2. #2
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    No. It just means really connecting with someone, and desiring that, being driven to that more than being driven to maintain your own space or to spread yourself a bit thinner to please more.


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  3. #3
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Oh, it's not for me, I was just curious about the scenario! But thanks!

  4. #4
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    social- belonging, fitting in, a sense of place, macro connection, roles, participation, contribution, big picture,

    sexual- merging, wholeness, desire & desirability, operating on similar wave lengths, vibes, yearning, life/death, creation/birth/reproduction

    But... Does "intimacy" always mean romantic intimacy? What about developing one-on-one relationships with non-romantic/non-family people, like a close group of friends? Is that a So domain activity, or a Sx one?
    I would not say intimacy depends on who the person is, but the connection you have. I personally don't think in terms of roles and allocate intimacy based on whether it's platonic interested or not, I will say that full intensity for me is directed in the area of romantic intimacy, certain ideas, and perhaps physical activities. My desire for closeness depends on how much something vibes with me. Obviously there are restraints as to how far you can go with certain people when your connection is purely platonic, which is probably why intense intimacy is usually reserved for romantic relations.

    Developing relationships can serve different purposes for different types. I often don't relate to the social firsts I come across who say they are friendly for the sake of getting something out of people (who ultimately they don't like(. I don't consider aquaintances friends, and I don't care to make connections for my own financial or social benefit. I have few friends because I only care to have relationships with people who "get me", and I them.

  5. #5
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    Sexual =/= romantism. It's about being turned on and the power the take you or anybody to turn them on and get intimacy.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

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    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

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  6. #6
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speed Gavroche View Post
    Sexual =/= romantism. It's about being turned on and the power the take you or anybody to turn them on and get intimacy.
    I thought the Sx instinct isn't necessarily about sexual intimacy. Isn't it about wanting to feel connected to other people in a deeper way than So, and wanting closeness/merging? Sexual intimacy might be a part of that, but it doesn't have to be, does it?

  7. #7
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    I thought the Sx instinct isn't necessarily about sexual intimacy. Isn't it about wanting to feel connected to other people in a deeper way than So, and wanting closeness/merging? Sexual intimacy might be a part of that, but it doesn't have to be, does it?
    Platonic discussion about metaphysic while drinking tea is not an expression of the Sexual instinct. Energy flows instinctively in the area of one-to-one relationships, sexual consideration are always present, even if it is underjacent, and you seek intensity, not confort. But a platonic relationships, even deep or intimate, is not an expression of the sexual instinct. So is about enlarge yourself toward a larger entity, different thing.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

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    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  8. #8
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    Sexuals play favourites with people and things... always being drawn to, and seeking to draw in, those who/that which they are insync with. The greater insyncness the greater the intensity and intimacy. Being platonically enthralled by something is a very real occurance for sexuals. Rather than seeking out friendships explicitly, I daresay sexuals seek out what makes them feel alive. What pierces them deep inside (a book or story that hits a soft spot hard, a person who can touch them deeply). The term 'friendship' seems very Fe, very social; defining two things in relation to each other and the roles they play. Perhaps sexual in it's relations to others is more like defining something according to it's value to YOU. This is iin accordance with how you are as a person and how they are, and the synchronicity between you... the connection... nothing about roles or anything externally defined... it's all about how you are joined or merged because of the energy you both create amplifies to create something greater.

    "Sometimes I have the strangest feeling about you. Especially when you are near me as you are now. It feels as though I had a string tied here under my left rib where my heart is, tightly knotted to you in a similar fashion. And when you go to Ireland, with all that distance between us, I am afraid that this cord will be snapped, and I shall bleed inwardly".

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