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View Poll Results: What's your instinctual stacking & social interaction tendency?

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  • so/sp - I have a clique

    2 1.92%
  • so/sp - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    7 6.73%
  • so/sp - I am mostly a loner

    4 3.85%
  • so/sx - I have a clique

    4 3.85%
  • so/sx - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    2 1.92%
  • so/sx - I am mostly a loner

    5 4.81%
  • sp/so - I have a clique

    2 1.92%
  • sp/so - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    3 2.88%
  • sp/sp - I am mostly a loner

    8 7.69%
  • sp/sx - I have a clique

    0 0%
  • sp/sx - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    15 14.42%
  • sp/sx - I am mostly a loner

    8 7.69%
  • sx/so - I have a clique

    4 3.85%
  • sx/so - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    7 6.73%
  • sx/so - I am mostly a loner

    6 5.77%
  • sx/sp - I have a clique

    4 3.85%
  • sx/sp - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    13 12.50%
  • sx/sp - I am mostly a loner

    10 9.62%
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Results 71 to 80 of 82

  1. #71
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackDog View Post
    Yes, what stuck out to connect the two?
    The avatar is the same, the enneagram type is the same, post structure is the same.

    @DisneyGeek to enter that part of the convo, I think it is far easier to figure out one's stackings by reading up on how the instincts manifest on their own. This is to create you a basic understanding of how they work. Until you get that idea, I wouldn't bother with instinctual stacking variants. Another thing with the instincts is that most people have a poor idea of the social instinct. I "mistyped" (I wouldn't say the error is that great to per se call it a mistype, since my social instinct isn't very developed and I have been confused over this for a long time with good reasons) as /sx/sp for quite a long time because I didn't understand the social instinct. Essentially, the social instinct is the desire to feel like one belongs and be a part of a group, society at large. It creates a sense of inside/outside dynamic where one becomes acutely aware whether one is a part of the group or not. Even counter-social types have this, just that they choose to take stance against the group and purposefully be separate and distinct from it. In both cases though, the object relation to the group remains the same, as opposed to people who are simply oblivious to the group and how they stand in relation to the group. So types want to feel like they belong and they want to feel like the group and the world at large accepts them and they will look out for various cues that create this sense of belonging-ness or conversely, separation.

    For example, when I was younger I was very into the metal scene. I suppose one could have called me a scene-ster and I definitely identified myself as a metalhead etc. This need to be a part of the metal scene has waned quite a bit but the point is that I was very aware of what would give me acceptance within the social group of the metal scene. I knew what bands were in and out, how to distinguish "true" from "untrue", how the various subgenres and thus also cultures, saw and interacted with each other and how they were distinct from one another e.g. the heavy metal scene is a lot more about drugs, sex and rock and roll which also carries over to the thrash and death metal scene that is much more acceptable towards "low brow" behavior and even promotes it, as opposed to the black metal scene that is far more elitist and exclusive and takes a counter-culture stance in relation to the rest of the metal scene and then there's the goth scene that's almost more a part of the general goth movement in itself than it is metal and so on and so forth.

    The social instinct creates this form of awareness. It also gives awareness of power structures in the sense that you know who is the top dog or who isn't, who is popular and who isn't etc. I know a social 6 who is a lot into political activism in ideology, at least, and is a strong follower of anarchy as a political model. He doesn't trust the establishment and society at large as he finds it largely incompetent and this shows in how counter-social stance of being an adherent of political anarchy. He understands his relationship to the group and society at large and how it operates but actively takes a stance against it.

    I need to go now but I'll try to write up how the sp instinct can manifest as well. Essentially, the primary instinct is our core neurosis, the one thing we cannot live without or so we think, so that's where you need to look for it.

    I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

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  2. #72
    your resident asshole
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    @Entropic - The problem with me is that I've always been sort of an island. I've always had a huge desire to belong and connect with people (though not in an sx way), but I was under the impression that part of this was covered in type 6.

    Seeing as I just don't bond with people, I'm not sure if my sp has been artificially inflated as a counter measure.

  3. #73
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyGeek View Post
    @Entropic - The problem with me is that I've always been sort of an island. I've always had a huge desire to belong and connect with people (though not in an sx way), but I was under the impression that part of this was covered in type 6.

    Seeing as I just don't bond with people, I'm not sure if my sp has been artificially inflated as a counter measure.
    Bonding != wanting to bond != ability to bond, though. I think so last 6s will still feel that sense of lonliness 6s have, but it will be more in the focus on the intimate sphere. To be very close to one person to trust in, as opposed to so 6s, who will try to find some greater ideal, cause or group to trust in. Also, sp first 6s are the most insular; the 6s that choose to be lonely. This is of course because when sp is leading, the 6's sense of security is the most focused on their self, of how to preserve themselves. With such a self-focus, there is little room to focus on that of others, both in terms of intimates but also in terms of groups and group belonging. I think the sp 6 is going to be the 6s that will be the most focused on thinking only they can truly trust in themselves and there will be no one there for you to provide it for you. You are utterly alone. Other people are out to get them, undermine them, remove their sense of security or destroy their belief structures they have set up in order to feel secure. Other people become a nuisance in the focus on the preservation of the self and how to build a security system in the material world by focusing on material assets such as their health, body, wealth, home, hearth, shelter, food and so on. May possibly also seem more 5-ish, more hoarding kind of 6, more holding on to possessions and things and of themselves which would be further reinforced if a 5-wing. My thoughts.

    I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

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  4. #74
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I'm sx/sp and this very much describes my life:

    I am mostly a loner - Choose this if you have very few close friends and mostly do stuff alone. You don't feel a tie to or a part of any social circle. Your few close friends are people you know are there for you & you for them, but you don't necessarily stay in regular contact. Other people don't identify you with anyone; they might even wonder who you do socialize with as you always appear alone. Choose this even if you associate with a group of casual acquaintances on occasion, have 1-2 close friends you talk to sometimes and/or a few, individual casual friends you socialize sometimes.
    ... but I'm not happy. My ideal would be this:

    I have a few, individual, very close friendships - Choose this if you don't really socialize in any kind of clique, but regularly maintain a few, very close friendships with individuals, frequently hanging out or talking, often one-on-one (family members count). These friends don't necessarily know each other or have friendships with each other (but they may). Other people don't identify you as a group, but may associate you with one of these individuals (ie. the best friend joined at the hip). Choose this even if on occasion you socialize with a group & do stuff on your own.
    I just don't have the environment or the energy right now to reach that ^^ kind of life, unfortunately.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #75
    Senior Member great_bay's Avatar
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    I don't have any current friends right now.

  6. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Entropic View Post
    Bonding != wanting to bond != ability to bond, though.
    I'm not really sure why you're making this point? Care to explain?

    Again, my thing is that I'm wondering if my sp has been artificially inflated as a defense mechanism due to the inability to bond.

  7. #77
    Senior Member senza tema's Avatar
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    I actually make use of all three strategies.

    I do have a "clique" ... coworkers whom I eat lunch with everyday and whose company I enjoy in a casual way but feel little to no emotional connection with. I rarely if ever hang out with them outside work because ... why? I already see them everyday.

    I have a handful of very dear lifelong friends, whom I love and feel completely comfortable with. All of them are scattered across the country/world and we no longer inhabit the same meatspace. That's fine though. I don't miss their physical presence and feel I can count on their emotional presence whenever.

    So I guess my default strategy is "loner." I spend a lot of time by myself and chafe if I don't have it. If I go out, I prefer to do it alone. For me, the only improvement over pure solitude is the presence of a significant other. I've always attributed this to social introversion ... not sure if it's instinct-related.

    I'm probably so-last.

  8. #78
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyGeek View Post
    I'm not really sure why you're making this point? Care to explain?

    Again, my thing is that I'm wondering if my sp has been artificially inflated as a defense mechanism due to the inability to bond.
    Bonding with someone doesn't mean that you want to bond or that you have an ability to bond, and having an ability to bond doesn't mean you want to bond or are bonding, and wanting to bond doesn't mean you are bonding or have an ability to bond.

    I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

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  9. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by Entropic View Post
    Bonding with someone doesn't mean that you want to bond or that you have an ability to bond, and having an ability to bond doesn't mean you want to bond or are bonding, and wanting to bond doesn't mean you are bonding or have an ability to bond.
    The word "bond" has now lost its meaning for me. :/

    I think I get what you're saying, but I didn't say that any of these were related to begin with. I just mean that I wonder if I artificially inflated a part of myself and converted my desires as a self-defense mechanism. One of these perhaps: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenc...nce_mechanisms

  10. #80
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyGeek View Post
    The word "bond" has now lost its meaning for me. :/

    I think I get what you're saying, but I didn't say that any of these were related to begin with. I just mean that I wonder if I artificially inflated a part of myself and converted my desires as a self-defense mechanism. One of these perhaps: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenc...nce_mechanisms
    I know, I get it, because I think all 6s seek to bond. I was just clarifying that it needn't be related to the social instinct in that way, or at least I think that was the original reason as to why I wrote what I did. I don't remember, too long time ago, lol.

    I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

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