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View Poll Results: What's your instinctual stacking & social interaction tendency?

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  • so/sp - I have a clique

    2 1.92%
  • so/sp - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    7 6.73%
  • so/sp - I am mostly a loner

    4 3.85%
  • so/sx - I have a clique

    4 3.85%
  • so/sx - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    2 1.92%
  • so/sx - I am mostly a loner

    5 4.81%
  • sp/so - I have a clique

    2 1.92%
  • sp/so - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    3 2.88%
  • sp/sp - I am mostly a loner

    8 7.69%
  • sp/sx - I have a clique

    0 0%
  • sp/sx - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    15 14.42%
  • sp/sx - I am mostly a loner

    8 7.69%
  • sx/so - I have a clique

    4 3.85%
  • sx/so - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    7 6.73%
  • sx/so - I am mostly a loner

    6 5.77%
  • sx/sp - I have a clique

    4 3.85%
  • sx/sp - I have a few, individual, very close friendships

    13 12.50%
  • sx/sp - I am mostly a loner

    10 9.62%
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Results 21 to 30 of 82

  1. #21
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Are you So dom as well?

    That describes it well. And in much fewer words than I used. >_<
    Yes, so/sp. I think it's a bit of a conundrum, as an Fi dom or aux, being an so-dom. There's this awareness of groups, and a love yet repulsion of them. A focus on individuals, yet an unwillingness to focus on them alone and ignore the group dynamic. I always get a feeling of how everyone sits in the group, where the "power" is, so to speak. If someone abuses their power, exalts themselves over others, then I want to push against that kind of self-interest.

    Maybe you are feeling that push / pull too?
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  2. #22
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Yes, so/sp. I think it's a bit of a conundrum, as an Fi dom or aux, being an so-dom. There's this awareness of groups, and a love yet repulsion of them. A focus on individuals, yet an unwillingness to focus on them alone and ignore the group dynamic. I always get a feeling of how everyone sits in the group, where the "power" is, so to speak. If someone abuses their power, exalts themselves over others, then I want to push against that kind of self-interest.

    Maybe you are feeling that push / pull too?
    Hmmm, from experience with other Fi doms/auxs is that I'm much more aware of the group and specifically individuals in and in relation to 'the group', much more aware of social mores and politics, socially acceptable do's as well as don't's, etc. I notice INFPs sometimes seem oblivious to this (no offense) as well as ENFPs but that ENFPs are more likely to state "I don't care about what's socially acceptable/the group" etc. and then do something really socially atrocious and insulting to lots of people and wear it like a badge of honor. I personally don't really do that.

    I think Fi and Ne gives you a good leg up on power dynamics and supposedly ENFPs always know where the power lies in a group or a room.

    I don't really feel a repulsion to groups. Then again I'm also a 6 wing. Being a 6 wing and So-dom gives me one foot in the 'group' camp. I like volunteer work and working in groups but more as a member of a collective, not necessarily as someone who feels like I need to make significant personal connections to every single person in a group and become deeply embedded. For instance, at work I'm cordial to everyone but rarely attempt more than small talk. I feel comfortable in the group but the group isn't my focus and I conceptualize the group as an identity unto itself...if that makes sense.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  3. #23
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I voted loner. I do a lot of stuff on my own that many would consider social things, like going to concerts & the beach. I do these things alone more than I do things with friends.

    I have a few, close friends, but we don't keep in consistent contact. I'm one of those people who can disappear for weeks, even months on end. I'll socialize with a group on occasion, but I'm not a regular part of any clique. I only hang out with my family often because I live so close & they always initiate it. When I lived farther away, they'd complain I was MIA a lot of the time.

    Ultimately, I desire to be in the "few, close individual friends" category. I'm just bad at keeping in contact, initiating, and planning. Growing up, I tended to have 1-2 best friends I'd get really close to, and I've felt that lacking more often than not as adult. I realize I expect the other person to initiate too much.

    I'm also the kind where when I'm dating someone, it takes my whole focus. I maintain my other relationships even less. I fear this makes me seem clingy both with boyfriends & friends, so then I pull back or keep guarded to assert my independence. I want this mutual obsession, but I realize most people don't want their relationships at that level.

    I'm nearly incapable of spreading myself evenly across a group. In group settings, I still tend to zero in on one person, probably appearing too intense & monopolizing them. Yet, I admit, from a distance, cliques seem really nice. I used to think it would be great to be a part of a group, that it would provide some sense of security with people, an identity of sorts, but then I can't even imagine how I'd function within one. Everytime I'm in a group setting I find myself wanting to zero in on one person or shrink into a corner alone & just observe.

    ***
    For those of you who feel you're on the border of these categories & the definitions don't fully clarify it for you, just vote in the way you see yourself the most. I realize no one is 100% anything. The "few, individual friends" doesn't exclude many casual acquaintances necessarily (or many close, individual friends; I suppose I assumed the nature of close means you can't have that many).
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #24
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    By definition, a clique is:
    1. "a small group of people with shared interests, who spend time together and exclude others."
    2. "a small exclusive group of friends or associates."
      and
    3. "a narrow exclusive circle or group of persons; especially : one held together by common interests, views, or purposes."


    I maintain regular correspondence with a group of locals also interested in typology, but we never exclude anyone, which is why I can't pick the cliquey option.

    Ties into VagrantFarce's point that actions made and/or results garnered alone aren't reliable indicators of deepest motivation.

    Sounds cliche, but you're only limited by your imagination, i.e. willingness to eavesdrop.

    thinking of you

  5. #25
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    I voted So/sp mostly a loner.

    Its complicated though because I'm kind of contradictory and my situation can vary depending on circumstances. I'm extremely withdrawn at the moment but when I worked on a kibbutz in Israel a few years ago I was very sociable, on a constant, everyday basis, and with a large group of people. I do have a broad list of acquaintances (eg. 180 friends on Facebook - which, I suppose, is a lot for a very strong introvert) so I do have that side to me but I only have vaguely regular contact with 2 people (even then its only once every 2 months or so). Honestly, I keep very much to myself and find most social contact to be stressful. I am close with my family but if I'm not living with them I don't really see them often.

    My preference doesn't have direct connection to my inclination as others with the same preference would likely be different to me. But on the other hand it does create the difficulties for me and generally makes me want to hide away from the world. I do feel a push/pull because I want contact with others but I'm so desperate to protect myself from the pitfalls of it. I suppose I think its safer and easier to be alone.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  6. #26

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    What do you mean by family? My own family of wife and kids? I'm either with them or off on my own, the rest of the time is with lots of different people.

  7. #27
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    What do you mean by family? My own family of wife and kids? I'm either with them or off on my own, the rest of the time is with lots of different people.
    Socializing with family, especially the ones you don't live with; not everyday family stuff. That's just a general guide though. Just choose whatever category suits you over all.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  8. #28

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    Okay, sp/sx, mostly a loner I guess. I prefer to think of it as freelance.

  9. #29
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    Even in a group I always stand alone... watching one person...

    I'm getting involved with more "groups" at college, but I never quite integrate. I give it a go, then quit after a while. Or I stay with the groups because that place has become my favourite haunt. I contemplated whether I might be social, because I do have something driving me to be a part of certain groups... but I never integrate. It's like somethings driving me towards belonging because it is a distant dream I can never quite reach. I am too... inside myself. Too retracted. In groups I can be gregarious but my mind is miles away. I hardly join groups I don't jive with, and where there is no one who catches my attention.

  10. #30
    Junior Member Troisi's Avatar
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    so/sx and I put down mostly loner.

    I was thinking about my relation to people the other day and I realized, while I have no trouble interacting socially in any capacity, I never feel engaged. I never unleash all of who I am with anyone I know (the rare times that I have usually end up in regret). This may sound overly esoteric but I can't think of any other way to word it right now: I feel like a spirit. People can feel me but I'm not fully there.

    I'm not a recluse outwardly (I interact enough to avoid being called a hermit - although that is my natural tendency), but inwardly, the way I view my personal relationship with people, I am a recluse. I've always have been and it doesn't really bother me. I've never depended, or needed, to feel like someone had to open me up inside. If it happens, it happens. And if not, then I don't really care to seek that experience out. I'm a really solitary person.

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