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[sx] The Sx dom (re: Hazashin's question for me)

Lady_X

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sx/sp
THAT I can relate to.

You guys have me wondering if I'm SX first again.

i don't know if it needs to be said...but that's me in a relationship. not in one...scalding is good...fine great haha
 

ChocolateMoose123

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I was going to comment that scalding is pretty damn intriguing lol...but bad for us in the long run, it seems.
 

Lady_X

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oh yeah no i love it... :D
 

Sunny Ghost

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i think it's insecurity that scares me from scalding temperatures. i play aloof, though i'm always certain my veil is thin.
 

Sunny Ghost

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Yes, relatable. Goes with...

"sx/sp This is perhaps the most internally conflicted of the stackings, and potentially the most inconsistent in behavior. This may occur as a blockage of the sexual instinct which can be redirected as a more generally brooding and troubled personality. They may isolate themselves for long periods of time before reemerging. They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern. They seem to be searching for something, the missing piece. If they find a soulmate they will unite without fanfare, forming a secret bond, dealing with formalities as an afterthought. Powerful sexual impulses facing inner resistance may manifest symbolically in the psyche, giving way to soulful interpretations of the unconscious. Under periods of stress severe sexual tensions may manifest as erratic, impulsively destructive behavior. Can seem restless, torn between the comforts of a stable home life and the urge to wander. May be prone to self-medicating. Motivation: to know the heart, reconcile inner conflict, form a secure union."

I wonder if I'm suffering from the bolded...??

Also, to the line just below it... " They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern." Could any for certain SX/SP's elaborate on this point?
 
B

brainheart

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As far as scalding goes, I definitely enjoy the burn a bit before I turn up the cold. I have delayed reflexes, cause it's so... Exciting.
 

ChocolateMoose123

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I wonder if I'm suffering from the bolded...??

Also, to the line just below it... " They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern." Could any for certain SX/SP's elaborate on this point?

sx/sp are pretty self-absorbed.

I guess that's the bad part of sx/sp. I'm pretty sure it's standard across the board that the energy we want to get from others is for our own benefit (at least initially). So, when your concern is more about what you can feel from someone you're not going to care what other people think of that. You just want to get to it and everything else can take a back seat.
 

Totenkindly

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Your idea of Sp sounds like introversion.

No, that's not what I'm saying, although realistically you are taking Variants out of the enneagram and trying to blend it with MBTI terminology. There's not much sense in that, the Enneagram is not interested in introversion vs extroversion, it simply describes how people direct energy at others, and SP will conserve it, and to do that, it has to keep some barriers up. SO will invest broadly in others, where SX seems to assume it will always have this endless store of energy and seeks out opportunities to invest energy. But that is not introversion or extroversion in the sense you are thinking... I think MBTI introverts and extroverts can still span all three variants.


All three of your descriptions involve relationships with others. Is that at the core of this system? Are Sp's head-in-sand self-encapsulated? Or are they just, as the descriptions I've read indicate, concerned with watching out for their personal well-being (materially, socially, etc)?

I'm not sure where you are getting "head in the sand" from. That's kind of derogatory.

Self-preservation comes out in many ways. Sometimes it may involve a pre-emptive strike against a foreseen danger. But self-preservation, safety, and security lies at the core of the Sp type.

"SP tends to keep the self hidden and safe and only known to a few." Safe, of course. Hidden: perhaps that's just a type 5 interpretation of the instinct to find security. Other types may find it safer to bring their issues out into the open.

I think that's another issue here... looking at the three Variants through the eyes of a Five.
 

redcheerio

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i'll catch up in this thread in a min but i just wanted to address a few relationship style things that come up as an sx dom which i could use some insight into...

like the fact that we are aware constantly of the chemistry between our self and others...this can't be turned off. this makes your so feel like you're still looking...even when you're not. i am honest with myself about it and will avoid people i feel a vibe with...yeah...that sucks for your so to hear too. my bf said he doesn't even notice it when he's in a relationship...he can find someone attractive but there's no vibey thing happening...i find that hard to believe...because it's been like that my whole life...constant awareness. i think it's why i always had so many gay guy friends because there was no vibe...because i won't let myself get close with anyone when i'm in a relationship and i can feel that chemistry...even if it's just on their end....which just flat out sucks all around!! because i like people and just want to be able to form close relationships but all this sxy stuff gets in the way!

Me too, but I don't avoid people over it because I can usually control the attraction. However, I can think of one instance when it caught me by surprise and I found myself with an intense and inappropriate crush due to a strong connection. I think it started when I noticed signs that he seemed to be hiding inappropriate feelings/attraction to me, and bam. It took me about 3 weeks to kill the crush and bring it back to a manageable level so that he was just another hot guy in the room that I happened to have a good connection with. During those 3 weeks, it was to the point that I couldn't even act normal around him, it was like a high school crush. The crush aspect really caught me by surprise because I've always had a number of male friends I found attractive, and we might even "flirt" a bit but in a knowingly platonic way, but without crushing on them, so I was really relieved to get that back under control.


yeah...i notice that i often seem to be the only giving eye contact...its so weird to me...i can feel their unease with it and i don't understand it.

+1 for me, too.

It took me a long time to realize that I have an intense look, and that's why some people won't hold the gaze for as long as I will. I swear, there's only one other person I've ever met in my life whose gaze I had to struggle to hold, and now I understand what it's like for others holding mine.
 

Sunny Ghost

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sx/sp are pretty self-absorbed.

I guess that's the bad part of sx/sp. I'm pretty sure it's standard across the board that the energy we want to get from others is for our own benefit (at least initially). So, when your concern is more about what you can feel from someone you're not going to care what other people think of that. You just want to get to it and everything else can take a back seat.
This sounds selfish though. I've always thought of myself as self absorbed... but not necessarily selfish. I can say for certain, SX is not a low instinct for me, but rather a very high one. But I just don't know if it's at the intensity of SX first or second. I care a lot about my needs and wants, but not at the sake of hurting others. At least, knowingly.

Thinking and rereading that... I decided not to scratch out what I just wrote, but to instead try and put it in perspective. It's not always necessarily selfish, I suppose. I can think of an instance, and I'm sure several more, where I went after what I wanted at the sake of my reputation. Fueled by pure sexual energy I didn't care what my friends were telling me to try and derail me. I knew what I wanted.

But... others times, I go into the opposite mode where I feel... shame. Perhaps when things don't work out in the long run, I think, why continue so recklessly and I begin to let my insecurities override that energy.
 

redcheerio

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The woman on the left; is this an sx/sp gaze?

I find it mesmerizing somehow, like I can see the sx intensity, but there also seems to be a hurt, protective barrier behind it.

aw9paf.jpg


(...stolen borrowed from [MENTION=4324]Kasper[/MENTION] 's blog, [MENTION=7]Jennifer[/MENTION] 's post....)
 

Sunny Ghost

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About which part?
this:

Well, I did that too, and I consider myself to have operated within a much more SP mindset for some time. It's just now that I'm not as neurotic and more balanced that I find I'm pretty SX and get irked with the hardcore self-encapsulated SP mindset.

They are all ways of relating to people and how energy is directed. SO tends to create a lot of broad but not necessarily deep connections; SX looks for intensity of connection; SP tends to keep the self hidden and safe and only known to a few. All these other traits might stem from that kind of mindset but don't seem to be core to me.

Your idea of Sp sounds like introversion. All three of your descriptions involve relationships with others. Is that at the core of this system? Are Sp's head-in-sand self-encapsulated? Or are they just, as the descriptions I've read indicate, concerned with watching out for their personal well-being (materially, socially, etc)?

Self-preservation comes out in many ways. Sometimes it may involve a pre-emptive strike against a foreseen danger. But self-preservation, safety, and security lies at the core of the Sp type.

"SP tends to keep the self hidden and safe and only known to a few." Safe, of course. Hidden: perhaps that's just a type 5 interpretation of the instinct to find security. Other types may find it safer to bring their issues out into the open.
 
B

brainheart

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No, that's not what I'm saying, although realistically you are taking Variants out of the enneagram and trying to blend it with MBTI terminology. There's not much sense in that, the Enneagram is not interested in introversion vs extroversion, it simply describes how people direct energy at others, and SP will conserve it, and to do that, it has to keep some barriers up. SO will invest broadly in others, where SX seems to assume it will always have this endless store of energy and seeks out opportunities to invest energy. But that is not introversion or extroversion in the sense you are thinking... I think MBTI introverts and extroverts can still span all three variants

Yes. Although I am very much an introvert, there is a difference between myself and my sp- introvert friends. They are much more steady and calm and consistent while I... swing. I can be extremely quiet and reserved at times, other times I am loud and chatty. The thing teachers always said about me was that I was inconsistent.

I have become less energetic, more hesitant than I was due to mood stabilizers and not wanting to destroy my life, I keep forgetting that. I used to have lots of energy... for a withdrawn type, anyway.
 

Lady_X

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No it's not, she's just an actor squinting her fucking eyes.

Let's all let go of this silly "Sx-gaze" rubbish.

why do you care if others find the concept interesting?
 

Totenkindly

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No it's not, she's just an actor squinting her fucking eyes.

Actually, she's from a documentary and exactly who and what she appears to be, since she was "playing herself."

But I didn't particularly get an SX feel from her while watching the documentary.

Their mom was a rather overbearing ESFJ, and their dad an ISTJ (I think).
And the twins seem to both be I's.
Not sure if I can pick up anything else from them.

Let's all let go of this silly "Sx-gaze" rubbish.
I think we can definitely feel energy in an actual interaction, but just meeting someone's gaze in a picture? Yeah, that's not much to base something on.
I didn't really get anything off the picture.
 

Mal12345

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No, that's not what I'm saying, although realistically you are taking Variants out of the enneagram and trying to blend it with MBTI terminology. There's not much sense in that, the Enneagram is not interested in introversion vs extroversion, it simply describes how people direct energy at others, and SP will conserve it, and to do that, it has to keep some barriers up. SO will invest broadly in others, where SX seems to assume it will always have this endless store of energy and seeks out opportunities to invest energy. But that is not introversion or extroversion in the sense you are thinking... I think MBTI introverts and extroverts can still span all three variants.

Instinctuals is not enneagram. They are completely distinct systems of thought. There's nothing incorrect about saying I'm an INTP Sx/Sp. It just so happens that Instinctuals and enneagram came from the same source, Oscar Ichazo, the inventor of the modern enneagram of the Arica Institute.

I'll add this. It would be incorrect to confuse the traits of Instinctuals with the traits of the various ennea-types. But as far as I'm concerned, most if not all of these traits are described in other unrelated systems. For example, the Ansir Sentinel type looks like the Sp Instinctual.
 

Totenkindly

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Instinctuals is not enneagram. They are completely distinct systems of thought. There's nothing incorrect about saying I'm an INTP Sx/Sp. It just so happens that Instinctuals and enneagram came from the same source, Oscar Ichazo, the inventor of the modern enneagram of the Arica Institute.

That's not really what I meant, but I'm out of time and energy for this topic.

Hope you figure everything out, good luck!
 
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