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  1. #61
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndyAnnaJoan View Post
    THAT I can relate to.

    You guys have me wondering if I'm SX first again.
    i don't know if it needs to be said...but that's me in a relationship. not in one...scalding is good...fine great haha
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #62
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    I was going to comment that scalding is pretty damn intriguing lol...but bad for us in the long run, it seems.
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  3. #63
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    oh yeah no i love it...
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #64
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    i think it's insecurity that scares me from scalding temperatures. i play aloof, though i'm always certain my veil is thin.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  5. #65
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    Yes, relatable. Goes with...

    "sx/sp This is perhaps the most internally conflicted of the stackings, and potentially the most inconsistent in behavior. This may occur as a blockage of the sexual instinct which can be redirected as a more generally brooding and troubled personality. They may isolate themselves for long periods of time before reemerging. They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern. They seem to be searching for something, the missing piece. If they find a soulmate they will unite without fanfare, forming a secret bond, dealing with formalities as an afterthought. Powerful sexual impulses facing inner resistance may manifest symbolically in the psyche, giving way to soulful interpretations of the unconscious. Under periods of stress severe sexual tensions may manifest as erratic, impulsively destructive behavior. Can seem restless, torn between the comforts of a stable home life and the urge to wander. May be prone to self-medicating. Motivation: to know the heart, reconcile inner conflict, form a secure union."
    I wonder if I'm suffering from the bolded...??

    Also, to the line just below it... " They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern." Could any for certain SX/SP's elaborate on this point?
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  6. #66
    brainheart
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    As far as scalding goes, I definitely enjoy the burn a bit before I turn up the cold. I have delayed reflexes, cause it's so... Exciting.

  7. #67
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndyAnnaJoan View Post
    I wonder if I'm suffering from the bolded...??

    Also, to the line just below it... " They live according to a strictly personal outlook and are not particularly concerned with the approval of others outside of their immediate concern." Could any for certain SX/SP's elaborate on this point?
    sx/sp are pretty self-absorbed.

    I guess that's the bad part of sx/sp. I'm pretty sure it's standard across the board that the energy we want to get from others is for our own benefit (at least initially). So, when your concern is more about what you can feel from someone you're not going to care what other people think of that. You just want to get to it and everything else can take a back seat.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  8. #68
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mal12345 View Post
    Your idea of Sp sounds like introversion.
    No, that's not what I'm saying, although realistically you are taking Variants out of the enneagram and trying to blend it with MBTI terminology. There's not much sense in that, the Enneagram is not interested in introversion vs extroversion, it simply describes how people direct energy at others, and SP will conserve it, and to do that, it has to keep some barriers up. SO will invest broadly in others, where SX seems to assume it will always have this endless store of energy and seeks out opportunities to invest energy. But that is not introversion or extroversion in the sense you are thinking... I think MBTI introverts and extroverts can still span all three variants.


    All three of your descriptions involve relationships with others. Is that at the core of this system? Are Sp's head-in-sand self-encapsulated? Or are they just, as the descriptions I've read indicate, concerned with watching out for their personal well-being (materially, socially, etc)?
    I'm not sure where you are getting "head in the sand" from. That's kind of derogatory.

    Self-preservation comes out in many ways. Sometimes it may involve a pre-emptive strike against a foreseen danger. But self-preservation, safety, and security lies at the core of the Sp type.

    "SP tends to keep the self hidden and safe and only known to a few." Safe, of course. Hidden: perhaps that's just a type 5 interpretation of the instinct to find security. Other types may find it safer to bring their issues out into the open.
    I think that's another issue here... looking at the three Variants through the eyes of a Five.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #69
    Senior Member redcheerio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i'll catch up in this thread in a min but i just wanted to address a few relationship style things that come up as an sx dom which i could use some insight into...

    like the fact that we are aware constantly of the chemistry between our self and others...this can't be turned off. this makes your so feel like you're still looking...even when you're not. i am honest with myself about it and will avoid people i feel a vibe with...yeah...that sucks for your so to hear too. my bf said he doesn't even notice it when he's in a relationship...he can find someone attractive but there's no vibey thing happening...i find that hard to believe...because it's been like that my whole life...constant awareness. i think it's why i always had so many gay guy friends because there was no vibe...because i won't let myself get close with anyone when i'm in a relationship and i can feel that chemistry...even if it's just on their end....which just flat out sucks all around!! because i like people and just want to be able to form close relationships but all this sxy stuff gets in the way!
    Me too, but I don't avoid people over it because I can usually control the attraction. However, I can think of one instance when it caught me by surprise and I found myself with an intense and inappropriate crush due to a strong connection. I think it started when I noticed signs that he seemed to be hiding inappropriate feelings/attraction to me, and bam. It took me about 3 weeks to kill the crush and bring it back to a manageable level so that he was just another hot guy in the room that I happened to have a good connection with. During those 3 weeks, it was to the point that I couldn't even act normal around him, it was like a high school crush. The crush aspect really caught me by surprise because I've always had a number of male friends I found attractive, and we might even "flirt" a bit but in a knowingly platonic way, but without crushing on them, so I was really relieved to get that back under control.


    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    yeah...i notice that i often seem to be the only giving eye contact...its so weird to me...i can feel their unease with it and i don't understand it.
    +1 for me, too.

    It took me a long time to realize that I have an intense look, and that's why some people won't hold the gaze for as long as I will. I swear, there's only one other person I've ever met in my life whose gaze I had to struggle to hold, and now I understand what it's like for others holding mine.

  10. #70
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    sx/sp are pretty self-absorbed.

    I guess that's the bad part of sx/sp. I'm pretty sure it's standard across the board that the energy we want to get from others is for our own benefit (at least initially). So, when your concern is more about what you can feel from someone you're not going to care what other people think of that. You just want to get to it and everything else can take a back seat.
    This sounds selfish though. I've always thought of myself as self absorbed... but not necessarily selfish. I can say for certain, SX is not a low instinct for me, but rather a very high one. But I just don't know if it's at the intensity of SX first or second. I care a lot about my needs and wants, but not at the sake of hurting others. At least, knowingly.

    Thinking and rereading that... I decided not to scratch out what I just wrote, but to instead try and put it in perspective. It's not always necessarily selfish, I suppose. I can think of an instance, and I'm sure several more, where I went after what I wanted at the sake of my reputation. Fueled by pure sexual energy I didn't care what my friends were telling me to try and derail me. I knew what I wanted.

    But... others times, I go into the opposite mode where I feel... shame. Perhaps when things don't work out in the long run, I think, why continue so recklessly and I begin to let my insecurities override that energy.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

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