User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 37

  1. #21
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INfJ
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    3,683

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I was just thinking about this the other day and I came to a vaguely similar conclusion. Although I saw the dominant instinctive variant more as a coping mechanism to counteract the pressures of the environment that your type operates in.

    For me, I think I developed the social instinct because of the sheer degree of isolation and cruelty I felt from others. Fours do tend to focus on their difference from others but mine was taken further by just how extreme that was. This is mostly due to the fact that as a child; a) I had no Intuitive or Fi-dom family and friends, and b) I was badly bullied for years on end. I needed to read social structures and heirarchy because I need to know who to be worried about; in other words, who the queen bees and tough guys are. I needed to be flexible to different social situations because I was never 'at home' with anyone around me. I discovered the best way to deal with my isolation was to make myself adaptable to each group and social situation. I hypothesised that perhaps a sp 4 wouldn't have experienced such direct confrontation of their sense of difference as a child. Perhaps they were able to use avoidance and withdrawal to cope with everything; they were able to escape and seek comfort.

    This makes sense. I wish I could find examples of things that cause all three variants, according to this theory. When I consider what sorts of things might have caused sp dominance, it kind of merges with e5 for me- because I can't really think of anything that challenged my physical survival when I was younger, only my autonomy as an individual.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari

  2. #22
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    i tend to think of my "sexual" instinct less as carnal and more as intimate and chemical - in which case, i think my dom variant was really the only one that was very useful in my early childhood - i could not be left to fend for myself sp-wise because of medical issues and i could also not be around more than a very few people so-wise because of the same medical stuff. i just didn't know the sp or so worlds until much later in life. intimate relationships were my world. i am still like that. i focus on one-to-one chemistry over everything else. even when i'm with a group i feel like i connect with each person individually, and requires much more energy for me to focus on the group as a whole.

    my point being, i don't think it was necessarily the most damaged - sp is probably my most damaged, because it's a relative fail - but there appears to be a good reason that sx came to stand out and take precedence over the others. perhaps this is true for most of us who don't feel particularly damage in that area - that there is still some reason our variant came to the forefront.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Nomenclature's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Socionics
    SEE
    Posts
    135

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    So you're saying my sexual instinct is damaged because I place too much emphasis on being sexually attractive?
    No, I'm saying that the instinct could manifest for many different reasons that haven't already been mentioned.
    ISTP 3w2 SX/SO

  4. #24
    brainheart
    Guest

    Default

    How could sp get damaged? Being scared/ poor/ caught in dangerous experiences?

    If I were to follow this model, it makes me think I'm an sx/so or so/sx.

    This instinctual variant thing confuses me like none other.

  5. #25
    hypersane Hive's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    1,005

    Default

    Idk. We were somewhat poor when I grew up and there wasn't lot of stability; the only mark it left on me is that made me the opposite of spoiled and able to anchor even in chaotic environments. However, my parents separated two times and it probably made me feel a bit abandoned; they denied me a connection and therefore I move away from them and seek deep connection with others. All of my friends who still have their parents living together and were able to afford nice clothes and vacations and overall had a happy childhood are more often than not Sp-doms.

  6. #26
    brainheart
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post

    For me, I think I developed the social instinct because of the sheer degree of isolation and cruelty I felt from others. Fours do tend to focus on their difference from others but mine was taken further by just how extreme that was. This is mostly due to the fact that as a child; a) I had no Intuitive or Fi-dom family and friends, and b) I was badly bullied for years on end. I needed to read social structures and heirarchy because I need to know who to be worried about; in other words, who the queen bees and tough guys are. I needed to be flexible to different social situations because I was never 'at home' with anyone around me. I discovered the best way to deal with my isolation was to make myself adaptable to each group and social situation. I hypothesised that perhaps a sp 4 wouldn't have experienced such direct confrontation of their sense of difference as a child. Perhaps they were able to use avoidance and withdrawal to cope with everything; they were able to escape and seek comfort.
    Definitely seems possible/likely. I too was bullied, had no friends, but I had my sister, who has always loved me for me, and I had my books, my interests, my land to explore. I feel like I've always been relatively good at self-soothing. Social situations are kind of hit or miss for me- some I enjoy and I feel at ease, others I feel totally out of my element and avoid. So I have no idea what that means. I know that when I was bullied I just wanted to be left alone, I had no interest in hierarchy of power, etc. Unstable intimate relationships, however, destroy me. So I guess sp is where I'm most balanced, which makes me... Sx/sp?

    What you say reminds me much of a so dom four friend of mine.

  7. #27
    brainheart
    Guest

    Default

    Or would the dominant instinct be more like the aspect you keep trying to work on but it seems like you make little progress in this area, like you're never good enough for your standards at it? It's where you always feel a little inadequate even though it matters to you?

  8. #28
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Nomenclature View Post
    No, I'm saying that the instinct could manifest for many different reasons that haven't already been mentioned.
    I just think I was an sx dom long before that happened, which was in my mid-twenties btw, so my personality was already fully formed.

    I disagree with the damaged theory, though maybe I place more priority on my sexual or intimacy instinct than non-sx doms would view as "healthy." But I'd say the same thing about someone who seems excessively self-protective or social because they aren't my dominant instincts.

    So maybe nothing is damaged, it's just that one is preferred over the rest (and my sx and sp are pretty close, though I'm definitely sx dom...my so last, on the other hand, is pretty low down there) and that people who don't share that dom instinct *perceive* it as being exaggerated or something.


    It's just perception.

  9. #29
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INfJ
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    3,683

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    Or would the dominant instinct be more like the aspect you keep trying to work on but it seems like you make little progress in this area, like you're never good enough for your standards at it? It's where you always feel a little inadequate even though it matters to you?
    I suspect it has little to do with our standards as adults- so it’s not going to be like the dom instinct drive is ‘never good enough’- it’s just that it got pushed to the forefront of thought while thought processes were congealing and becoming patterns/established. Habits stay habits after they’ve stopped being useful, and this is probably just as true (if not moreso) for unconscious ones. I get the impression this is what the writers are saying- not that there’s something inadequate about the instinct now, only that we learned to pay special attention to it because initially it caused more anxiety than the others. It would stand to reason- like shortnsweet said “security seems the easiest to fix”- it’s the one we have the best handle on because it’s the one we’ve paid the most attention to.

    As others have mentioned, I wonder what ‘damaged’ even means specifically to these writers. I think it’s implied that it’s environmental, but it seems to me like congenital traits could easily also play a role.

    A couple of people have mentioned that their inferior variant drive is the one that seems harder to ‘fix’ or work on. I certainly know this is also the case with me. This is why this is of interest to me. If there’s something to this theory- that it’s inferior because we are unconsciously primed to take it for granted as something that will work if we don’t pay attention (because it relieved anxiety to pay more attention to the dominant)- then it’s something worth throwing into the mix when I’m considering why I’m so averse at times to the so variant. It was not the purpose of the op to point out how broken people are, to propagate neuroticism or to give anyone something to beat themselves or others up with- but to explore unconscious drives and how they affect thoughts/behavior patterns. If it isn’t helpful in a practical way, then it’s probably not a good idea to spend any amount of time thinking about it.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari

  10. #30
    Senior Member ICUP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    1,793

    Default

    In the book I have, they use the word "distorted". It's "twisted out of the true meaning or proportion". Somehow, during childhood, we possibly got the idea that the dominant variant meant something it didn't mean..... and possibly took on the idea that it meant more than it meant, or didn't mean. So it could just mean that we saw sx as being more important to survival and life than so or sp, for example, when in reality, it wasn't. Not necessarily damaged, but a distorted view of reality, and then we continue to live according to that view. (We continue to live with a distorted view that sx means more than sp or so, for example.) It seems like it could've come to fruition by simply watching my sx dad and learning from him, and therefore learning that sx was more important..... by seeing his distortions, and copy-catting them. I'm not so sure that my sx dominant came about because it was damaged, but possibly that something occurred psychologically to make me believe it was.

    I think that the damage occurs now because I view sx as being most important. If someone that I want rejects me sexually, it tears me apart, whereas, an so/sp can be rejected and it does a fraction of the damage. The damage is all in the mind. Damage: "Harm or injury to property or a person, resulting in loss of value or the impairment of usefulness." Yes, I suppose my sx is damaged (impaired, less healthy). I see this impairment existing as a manifestation of fear. Because the dominant instinct is powerful within me, I fear it more. Fear that I am going to be hurt by someone I adore, fear of giving all of myself and then being cheated on and rejected, fear that others will not think I am attractive, etc. And I fear these things because I fear the damages they can cause. (In other words, it hurts like fuck, and it takes me a while to recover lol). I fear the repercussions of any of these things happening, because it is dangerous to my health and survival. I fear that my dominant instinct is out-of-control, and therefore, I can be manipulated by it, so I try to control it.

    The more I study typology, the more weird humans become haha.
    Last edited by ICUP; 06-22-2011 at 02:38 PM.
    ISTP 6w5 sx/sp
    6-8-4/6-9-4 Tritype

Similar Threads

  1. [Inst] Enneagram/instinct variant and love languages
    By Z Buck McFate in forum Instinctual Subtypes
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 05-05-2015, 10:51 PM
  2. Replies: 33
    Last Post: 10-28-2012, 03:58 PM
  3. My deepest desires? Instinct Variants
    By Vizzy in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 08-23-2011, 09:59 AM
  4. Replies: 113
    Last Post: 08-19-2011, 04:07 PM
  5. [Inst] Video Examples of Instinct Variants
    By Elfboy in forum Instinctual Subtypes
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 08-03-2011, 05:31 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO