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  1. #1
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Default You know you're so-first when.....

    You want everyone to like you- even those you barely know and will likely never see again.

    The worst fear you have is being ostracized by society.

    You can't bear the thought of being useless to society.

    You are aware of the interpersonal politics going on even if you don't take part.

    You were disappointed to find that there aren't too many threads dedicated to SO first.

    When you are at a party you are instantly aware of the most powerful person in the room.

    You are well of your social status in any group you partake in (including this forum).

    You would rather have a large circle of acquaintances to draw upon than a few close-knit friends.
    INtp
    5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
    Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
    Neutral Good
    LII-Ne




  2. #2
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Default

    I don't know what SO means, but I can relate to most of what you said.

  3. #3
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    SO is an abbreviation for social variant, one of the three variants in enneagram theory. The other two are self-preservation (SP) and sexual (SX). The theory is that one of the three variants in a person is dominant, one is secondary, and the third one doesn't get used as much. This is where variant stacking comes in. There are six possible stackings- ways to rank the variants from strongest to weakest. So a SO/SP/SX would have social as the dominant variant, SP as the secondary, and SX ranked last.

    You can read more about the variants (sometimes also known as instincts or subtypes) here:

    http://www.enneagram.net/instsub.html
    INtp
    5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
    Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
    Neutral Good
    LII-Ne




  4. #4

    Default

    You are too busy with life to realise what an SO-first is :P

  5. #5
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    Default

    Was listening to this as I clicked the thread, seems appropriate.

    [YOUTUBE="cehLiGxguQI"]Power in a Union[/YOUTUBE]

    Then was looking at that Deb's quotes page, http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Eugene_V._Debs it's literally social-first porn

    Your Honor, years ago I recognized my kinship with all living beings, and I made up my mind then that I was not one bit better than the meanest on earth. I said then, and I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it; and while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free.
    What a legend

  6. #6
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Some of these may be more so/sp but here goes:

    ... you secretly assess social dynamics at work or parties to work out how popular everyone was in high school
    ... you feel obliged to be congenial and friendly, and will keep up the front even if you despise doing so and wish you were a million miles away
    ... you are keenly aware of any personal deficiencies in social interaction and are highly self-critical of such lacking
    ... you feel so overwhelmingly embarrassed by every faux pas that it resembles physical pain, and frequently re-live, and suffer over, past embarrassments
    ... you despise it when people argue or make a scene in public and will go to great lengths to quell it
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  7. #7
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    When when you are alone and withour group, you feel like if you were only the tenth of what you are or could be.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

    Chaotic Neutral

    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  8. #8
    brainheart
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    ... you're always thinking about what other people will think, and that's as important to you as what you think of them.

  9. #9
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    People who are so-dom:

    ...are incredibly useful in a social situation to regain control and harmony
    ...know who to talk to about what in order to get stuff done
    ...tend to be better than me at saving themselves a lot of public embarassment
    ...are incredibly skilled at networking and often capable of building professional careers due to that while helping out society
    ...tend to be the backbone of each and every community.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  10. #10
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Default

    I find it an interesting dichotomy to be an INFP and so-dom. Glad to see the thread created; considered making it myself.

    I'll go through the thoughts so far:

    You want everyone to like you- even those you barely know and will likely never see again.
    I like for people to think well of me at least - I know not everyone can like me ...

    The worst fear you have is being ostracized by society.
    Hmm, not sure if it's the worst fear, but to be excluded can be hurtful.

    You can't bear the thought of being useless to society.
    Agreed, I like to make a difference.

    You are aware of the interpersonal politics going on even if you don't take part.
    Yes.

    You were disappointed to find that there aren't too many threads dedicated to SO first.
    No.

    When you are at a party you are instantly aware of the most powerful person in the room.
    Yes. At a party I can assemble a very complex inner map of all the dynamics at play in the room. What each person thinks of themselves and of others, and determine the cliques / sub-cliques / degrees of ostracism. I find each group of people has a very different feel depending on the people (ingredients) mixed together.

    You are well of your social status in any group you partake in (including this forum).
    Sure, but I would caution that it's easier to sell oneself short, to think one is of a lower status than in reality.

    You would rather have a large circle of acquaintances to draw upon than a few close-knit friends.
    No. That's probably an introvert thing though. I have a love - hate thing going on with groups.

    -----

    ... you secretly assess social dynamics at work or parties to work out how popular everyone was in high school
    Sure, it's interesting that people bring the past to the present and sometimes undermine themselves or overestimate themselves accordingly.

    ... you feel obliged to be congenial and friendly, and will keep up the front even if you despise doing so and wish you were a million miles away
    Depends on who and why, but yes, I agree with this.

    ... you are keenly aware of any personal deficiencies in social interaction and are highly self-critical of such lacking
    When I was in my teens and twenties even, this was a nightmare. There were rules I understood and rules I didn't, and groups that were impossible to gain traction in. And I kind of beat myself up over it when things weren't smooth, rather than see that people simply aren't always nice.

    ... you feel so overwhelmingly embarrassed by every faux pas that it resembles physical pain, and frequently re-live, and suffer over, past embarrassments
    Maybe that's Fi - Si so-dom there ...

    .
    .. you despise it when people argue or make a scene in public and will go to great lengths to quell it
    I do dislike people who "make a scene" or who are being difficult .... I do always try to smooth social interactions. It's like a dance ...

    -----

    When when you are alone and withour group, you feel like if you were only the tenth of what you are or could be.
    No.

    -----

    ... you're always thinking about what other people will think, and that's as important to you as what you think of them.
    Yes. But not as much as when I was younger.

    -----

    I'll try to think up a few extra ones myself.

    EDIT: I identify with this blurb on being an so-dom 9, describe my love - hate thing going on:

    Social Nines tend to gravitate toward groups and then have conflicts about joining or staying apart. Can enjoy group energy and interests but may be also aware of the group's expectations. These the Nine will both play along with and resist. When immersed in a group, social Nines can lose themselves, trying to become all things to all people. Gregarious but may start to resist being too heavily influenced, to compensate for their sense of lost identity. Can sometimes resent how the group doesn't really see them. May fixate on what others think of them. Or resent the group and make fun of it. Some social Nines stay basically uninvolved but hang out at the group's edge. Frequently there's lots of activity. May get caught up in roles - a stronger connection to 3 goes with this subtype.

    For more: http://webspace.webring.com/people/c...lore/chvar.htm
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

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