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[sx] You know you're an sx-dom when...

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
[MENTION=17945]
[MENTION=5494]Amargith[/MENTION]

I agree that sp/sx keeps you at an arms length at all times. This seems to reminiscent of the sp doms in general. However, where on earth did you get these ideas about the sx/sp types?

I dunno, perhaps from the sx-sps who tell me, show me and use those behavior patterns on me? :thinking:

I happen to be fond of the breed and ocassionally the feeling happens to be mutual, see.
 

The Great One

New member
Joined
Apr 27, 2012
Messages
3,439
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
6w7
Sure, but sex isn't always about the physical. It can be about social status; for some people having a lot of partners makes them seem cooler or more powerful, sometimes having sex with the right people helps you get into a social group or become more popular. It can get you money, free food, jobs, gifts, vacations etc. and some people just need the physical release but there's nothing passionate about it and they'd prefer the person to leave right after.

It's not as simple as you're all making it out to be. I'm sx-first and less promiscuous than a lot of sx-last people I can think of. I don't like going a long time without but it doesn't make me willing to settle for less than I want.

True. I agree with this.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
[MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION]

1.Elfboy is right is not SP last. I talk to him all the time on the phone and this man is self-pres as hell, and even moreso he is social last. The man has literally no idea what's going on in the world around him EVER. He also couldn't understand social webs of "this guy knows this guy, who knows that guy" to save his life.

2. Yes, I agree that on the outside I look so/sx 7w6 as fuck. When to comparing myself to possibly another ENTP 7w6, 3w2, 9w8 so/sx (Craig Ferguson) we look almost identical in terms of energy and behavior. However, I seem to have strong self pres and I'm really questioning whether or not I am actually an sx dom.

Umm... I guess I'll first say...that I don't believe there's anything 'harmful' or 'detrimental' (I don't even know what words to use)...in being a mistyped individual. Like, if I believed I was an ISTJ 1w2 sp/so...and idk...whatever I did in the name of self-improvement stemmed from that belief and was in-line with what actual ISTJ 1w2s commonly reported as being beneficial by way of personal growth... <--I wouldn't even consider that a waste of time as so much of this is kinda over-arching anyway. iow, the point of all of this isn't found in the details of type...but rather in the ongoing state of mindfulness the study of personality theory seems to afford an individual. If it is important to you, however, to truly know... well, at least as it pertains to this thread I would suggest listening closely and with an open mind to what chana and Amargith are saying... (You will know your type when it stops feeling like tight, uncomfortable clothing. When you are no longer trying to get it to stick and mold to your form...all while proclaiming 'see how well this fits me!')

I'm not as familiar with you Great One as I am [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION]...but you appear to have taken on some of Elfboy's misunderstandings as they are related to type. <--And when I say that I mean absolutely no disrespect to Elfboy and he knows this because I have said this to him many times. Elfboy is one hell of an *unique* individual... yet no matter how hard I may try haha...I can't not respect his tenacity and the fact that his strength is inherent and not dependent on anything outside of himself to sustain it. Now, he will come back here and say 'No Starry, I'm ENFP as fuck'...and I'll be here waiting for it. But I've only ever seen that brand of 'self-sustaining individualism' in the Fi dom. My point though is, I say what I say knowing full well he is strong enough to handle it (if he were to examine what I say at all)...and I can't not respect that. I also think anyone that underestimates his intelligence is foolish...but he is young and yes, I think he's got quite a bit wrong at this point in time. More than youth though, I've seen him provided a good deal of commentary regarding his type that, in my opinion, is really bad. But it's his powerful connection to e3 that I assign the majority of the blame. It's bizarre in a way because I see an incredible amount of integrity in him...yet at the exact same time he can also sorta become this or that because of that e3 bastard on his back. He'll work it out...there is no doubt in my mind... but as for now, yes. I feel much of his current understanding of the various aspects of personality theory are still subject to e3s compulsion to turn everything into *e3 images* which are specifically designed to be applied and removed and are superficial and based on other images within the environment. Again, he will work this all out.

sp is not correlated with success. In fact, I would go so far as saying...if you are interested in the accumulation of wealth and status and leisure...leisure that makes sense because you actually have the means to kick back and relax...then you better hope and pray you are not sp 2nd...as sp 2nd is going to be the one placement that will fuck that all up for you the fasted. [edit: whoops I should clarify here and say sp trailing sx. so/sp is not what I'm referring to here with regards to material gain.]

As others here have said...sx isn't correlated with getting tons of play. If you only knew how many sx/sps are monks and other religious people (I don't know other titles haha). This stems from all the internal conflict...that neither of you have. Both of your energy flows freely all in one direction which is so/sx or sx/so. The sx/sp is also referred to as the wanderer. The internal conflict often causes them to completely disengage and search endlessly for that missing piece. Both of you seem quite present. Your energy and focus...Great One is scattered but it is scattered in the social realm. And being scattered in the social realm still means you can be over-sexed and desiring of things with which to 'protect' yourself with. I see zero self-preservational characteristics in you or Elfboy although Elfboy has the intensified focus of the sexual dom. Neither one of you present with those *snags* in energy that are the hallmark of sx/sp.

And finally, Great One... I couldn't say for certain (and would actually be interested in seeing some test scores) what your actual MBTI is... but I know a glutton when I see one...being one myself. Still, it may take a while for all of this to unfold in you and Elfboy's preview. And I think that's fine.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
no [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION], I'm ENFP as fuck ;)
the unconditional self assuredness is related to E7 and E8. it is also related to Fi, but not necessarily on a cognitive level. if you talked to me in person, you'd see I'm pretty extroverted and have the bouncy mind of an Ne dom

on a side note, I think you, like many people, misunderstand type 3 and are assigning characteristics to 3 which are, once again, E7. did you ever read that article I posted in the head center forum about what type 7 is really about?

Sp is about
- survival
- comfort
- security
- domesticity/predictability
- physical safety
- competence
- risk management

also, my energy is very conflicted. many people who have talked to me over the phone said that I came off like an Sp/So at times.
 

The Great One

New member
Joined
Apr 27, 2012
Messages
3,439
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ENTP
Enneagram
6w7
[MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION]

I'm not as familiar with you Great One as I am @Elfboy...but you appear to have taken on some of Elfboy's misunderstandings as they are related to type. <--And when I say that I mean absolutely no disrespect to Elfboy and he knows this because I have said this to him many times. Elfboy is one hell of an *unique* individual... yet no matter how hard I may try haha...I can't not respect his tenacity and the fact that his strength is inherent and not dependent on anything outside of himself to sustain it. Now, he will come back here and say 'No Starry, I'm ENFP as fuck'...and I'll be here waiting for it. But I've only ever seen that brand of 'self-sustaining individualism' in the Fi dom. My point though is, I say what I say knowing full well he is strong enough to handle it (if he were to examine what I say at all)...and I can't not respect that. I also think anyone that underestimates his intelligence is foolish...but he is young and yes, I think he's got quite a bit wrong at this point in time. More than youth though, I've seen him provided a good deal of commentary regarding his type that, in my opinion, is really bad. But it's his powerful connection to e3 that I assign the majority of the blame. It's bizarre in a way because I see an incredible amount of integrity in him...yet at the exact same time he can also sorta become this or that because of that e3 bastard on his back. He'll work it out...there is no doubt in my mind

1.Elfboy is an ENFP. I chat with him on the phone constantly and his mind moves like an Ne dom. The man's thoughts fly around everywhere at the speed of light. I don't get that with the INFP's that I chat with on the phone. Generally I find that the INFP's are much more quiet and their minds don't tend to bounce around as much. In addition the man uses way too much tertiary Te to be an INFP. The man constantly backs his ideas up with objective facts, and constantly uses a more universal group logic (Te) when illustrating his points. In addition, he's very good with objective thinking as well which is more reminiscent with Te as well.

2. I don't think that Elfboy is a 3w4 core type either. The man's conscientious level is horrible and he almost never gets anything done. The 3w4's on the other hand tend to have a much higher conscientious level and tend to be much more focused. I do agree that he has a 3w4 fix though. Also, he also tends to relate a lot more to the struggles of the enneagram 7 type than he does type 3, which also makes me think he's not a core 3w4.

As others here have said...sx isn't correlated with getting tons of play. If you only knew how many sx/sps are monks and other religious people (I don't know other titles haha). This stems from all the internal conflict...that neither of you have. Both of your energy flows freely all in one direction which is so/sx or sx/so. The sx/sp is also referred to as the wanderer. The internal conflict often causes them to completely disengage and search endlessly for that missing piece. Both of you seem quite present. Your energy and focus...Great One is scattered but it is scattered in the social realm. And being scattered in the social realm still means you can be over-sexed and desiring of things with which to 'protect' yourself with. I see zero self-preservational characteristics in you or Elfboy although Elfboy has the intensified focus of the sexual dom. Neither one of you present with those *snags* in energy that are the hallmark of sx/sp.

This is a common problem that I run into at pretty much every enneagram site that I go to: no one can ever come up with a clear and definitive definition of the sx variant. There is one side of the fence that says that sx has to do with relationships, sex, desirability, dating, etc. Then there is the other side that says that none of these things have to do with sx. In fact, the other side says that sx is all about passion, intensity, and chemistry. In fact, a lot of people tell me that many sx doms are very happy being monks, priests, etc, and never have a relationship, date, have sex, or do anything to really create a deep bond with someone romantically and still live happy lives. I simply don't believe this. From my experience, the sx doms are generally obsessed, with sex, dating, relationships, desirability, and it seems like for them to give these things up would almost be unbearable to them. But anyway, I've noticed that the general trend on these sites is that people just wind up typing people based on their energy instead of what they say and what they desire because no one can ever come up with a definitive definition of sx, and because of this it's hard to make an accurate typing.
And finally, Great One... I couldn't say for certain (and would actually be interested in seeing some test scores) what your actual MBTI is... but I know a glutton when I see one...being one myself. Still, it may take a while for all of this to unfold in you and Elfboy's preview. And I think that's fine.

What type do you think I am then? ENFP maybe?
 

The Great One

New member
Joined
Apr 27, 2012
Messages
3,439
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6w7
no [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION], I'm ENFP as fuck ;)
the unconditional self assuredness is related to E7 and E8. it is also related to Fi, but not necessarily on a cognitive level. if you talked to me in person, you'd see I'm pretty extroverted and have the bouncy mind of an Ne dom

on a side note, I think you, like many people, misunderstand type 3 and are assigning characteristics to 3 which are, once again, E7. did you ever read that article I posted in the head center forum about what type 7 is really about?

Sp is about
- survival
- comfort
- security
- domesticity/predictability
- physical safety
- competence
- risk management

also, my energy is very conflicted. many people who have talked to me over the phone said that I came off like an Sp/So at times.

It's true. You come off sp/so on the phone and sx/sp on skype: it's your voice man. However, Sx/sp with strong sp (wanderer) can come off sp/so very easily so it makes sense.
 

The Great One

New member
Joined
Apr 27, 2012
Messages
3,439
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ENTP
Enneagram
6w7
I know that a lot of people on this thread are saying that I'm actually so/sx as opposed to an sx dom. However, there are a few things about myself that I would like to share with you all to help you to understand why I believe myself to be an sx dom.

1. I've pretty much always craved intimacy ever since I was a child.

When I was a child I was like a love sick puppy. All I cared about was finding a mate. In fact, when I was very young I would make up fantasy style tales of finding the perfect lover and how amazing it would be. This is literally all that I thought of as a child: I was literally like a Disney mother fucker. Hell, I remember when I was in grade school I even joined the school chorus to just to get with this one woman that I deeply cared for. It just made me so happy to be around her, lol. When I was around her, it was almost like a sense of pure ecstacy came over me. Well of course I did later get with the girl, but we later wound up breaking up due to our young age, lol.

2. I think I've changed my relationship perspective a lot sense my mother and father's divorce.

Again, when I was a child, I was a love sick puppy and was obsessed with being in a relationship. I remember when I was in high school, I wasn't looking for someone to just fuck or to even sexually experiment with: all that I was looking for is this one "perfect lover" that would complete me. To tell the truth, I was really looking for a wife in high school, and was pretty much a Twilight mother fucker. I never did find this perfect lover in high school, but I damn sure tried, lol.

Anyway, my search for this one perfect lover continued until I was out of high school and then everything changed...forever. One of the reasons that I was so gung ho on finding a wife in high school was because my mother and father's relationship was so happy throughout my entire childhood. I thought to myself, "I want what my parents have, but I want that for myself.", so my search continued. However, in 2007 both of my parents went to jail, my mother then met a crackhead in jail who she fell in love with, brought her home, told us that she was just a friend that she was trying to help, and deceived us all. Long story short, my mother wound up selling everything that we cared about in the house (about $200,000.00) worth of stuff that my parents had accumulated throughout the years, left my father for this other woman, stole my car through a legal battle, and deserted us all. She did all of this within a period of 6 months. After seeing this, it left me feeling broken and scarred forever inside, and I now I found myself afraid of falling in love with a woman.

Before, I never understood the concept of being a player: I didn't understand the concept of being with several women throughout your life. All that I really understood was the concept of finding this one perfect woman to spend the rest of your life with. However, after my parents divorce, I became somewhat of a player, and slept with a few girls. It's almost like I was deeply craving this strong sense of intimacy deep inside, and I needed these inner needs to be met. However, the sex felt empty inside, and it really didn't really feel good at all: I wasn't getting this strong sense of connection that I was so desperately craving inside. However, I was at least able to get at least "some of my needs" satisfied.

I will say though in the last few years (it was during this time period that my car was completely taken and couldn't use it at all) that finding a lover has been very hard for me. I've been going to college and I've been constantly investing in my future and it hasn't given me much time to work as of late. So therefore, I really haven't had stable transportation or much money to really date, so trying to find a lover at the current moment has been difficult. I should say though, as of late, that I'm literally going FUCKING CRAZY inside because I'm so desperate to find someone special to be with. I've been stricken with crazy fucking impulses as of late that I'm now seeing a hypnotist to try to stop them. The impulses are so fucking crazy that I can't even talk about what they specifically are, but what I can say is that they could VERY EASILY get me arrested and thrown in jail for years and that terrifies me. What terrifies me even more is that I'm always so close to acting on them. It's like I'm getting to the point that I'm becoming completely counter-phobic and not giving a shit about anything right now. It's almost like my body deep inside is telling me that something is wrong and that there is something missing in my life. I'm so desperate to find a special woman in my life that I'm literally freaking out inside, and it feels like it is internally TEARING ME APART!

However, one night recently, I met this Hispanic girl at a bar and started chatting with her. I thought that I had developed decent chemistry with her and I even got her number. Anyway, it didn't work out long story short. However, when we did get together and I started to feel close to her, all of my inner-most anxieties, my impulses, and everything just went away almost over-night and for a period of a week or so, I felt freed: I was freed from my inner cage of loneliness and I felt better than I have felt in years. Anyway, I now figure that if I can just find a lover, that my impulse problem will go away completely and I am working diligently on this project.

Anyway, yeah this is why I think that I might be an sx dom.
[MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] [MENTION=6877]Marmotini[/MENTION] [MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION] [MENTION=5289]mcgooglian[/MENTION] [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION]

You may all want to check out this thread.
 

midnight rambler

New member
Joined
May 1, 2012
Messages
28
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
I know that a lot of people on this thread are saying that I'm actually so/sx as opposed to an sx dom. However, there are a few things about myself that I would like to share with you all to help you to understand why I believe myself to be an sx dom.

1. I've pretty much always craved intimacy ever since I was a child.

When I was a child I was like a love sick puppy. All I cared about was finding a mate. In fact, when I was very young I would make up fantasy style tales of finding the perfect lover and how amazing it would be. This is literally all that I thought of as a child: I was literally like a Disney mother fucker. Hell, I remember when I was in grade school I even joined the school chorus to just to get with this one woman that I deeply cared for. It just made me so happy to be around her, lol. When I was around her, it was almost like a sense of pure ecstacy came over me. Well of course I did later get with the girl, but we later wound up breaking up due to our young age, lol.

2. I think I've changed my relationship perspective a lot sense my mother and father's divorce.

Again, when I was a child, I was a love sick puppy and was obsessed with being in a relationship. I remember when I was in high school, I wasn't looking for someone to just fuck or to even sexually experiment with: all that I was looking for is this one "perfect lover" that would complete me. To tell the truth, I was really looking for a wife in high school, and was pretty much a Twilight mother fucker. I never did find this perfect lover in high school, but I damn sure tried, lol.

Anyway, my search for this one perfect lover continued until I was out of high school and then everything changed...forever. One of the reasons that I was so gung ho on finding a wife in high school was because my mother and father's relationship was so happy throughout my entire childhood. I thought to myself, "I want what my parents have, but I want that for myself.", so my search continued. However, in 2007 both of my parents went to jail, my mother then met a crackhead in jail who she fell in love with, brought her home, told us that she was just a friend that she was trying to help, and deceived us all. Long story short, my mother wound up selling everything that we cared about in the house (about $200,000.00) worth of stuff that my parents had accumulated throughout the years, left my father for this other woman, stole my car through a legal battle, and deserted us all. She did all of this within a period of 6 months. After seeing this, it left me feeling broken and scarred forever inside, and I now I found myself afraid of falling in love with a woman.

Before, I never understood the concept of being a player: I didn't understand the concept of being with several women throughout your life. All that I really understood was the concept of finding this one perfect woman to spend the rest of your life with. However, after my parents divorce, I became somewhat of a player, and slept with a few girls. It's almost like I was deeply craving this strong sense of intimacy deep inside, and I needed these inner needs to be met. However, the sex felt empty inside, and it really didn't really feel good at all: I wasn't getting this strong sense of connection that I was so desperately craving inside. However, I was at least able to get at least "some of my needs" satisfied.

I will say though in the last few years (it was during this time period that my car was completely taken and couldn't use it at all) that finding a lover has been very hard for me. I've been going to college and I've been constantly investing in my future and it hasn't given me much time to work as of late. So therefore, I really haven't had stable transportation or much money to really date, so trying to find a lover at the current moment has been difficult. I should say though, as of late, that I'm literally going FUCKING CRAZY inside because I'm so desperate to find someone special to be with. I've been stricken with crazy fucking impulses as of late that I'm now seeing a hypnotist to try to stop them. The impulses are so fucking crazy that I can't even talk about what they specifically are, but what I can say is that they could VERY EASILY get me arrested and thrown in jail for years and that terrifies me. What terrifies me even more is that I'm always so close to acting on them. It's like I'm getting to the point that I'm becoming completely counter-phobic and not giving a shit about anything right now. It's almost like my body deep inside is telling me that something is wrong and that there is something missing in my life. I'm so desperate to find a special woman in my life that I'm literally freaking out inside, and it feels like it is internally TEARING ME APART!

However, one night recently, I met this Hispanic girl at a bar and started chatting with her. I thought that I had developed decent chemistry with her and I even got her number. Anyway, it didn't work out long story short. However, when we did get together and I started to feel close to her, all of my inner-most anxieties, my impulses, and everything just went away almost over-night and for a period of a week or so, I felt freed: I was freed from my inner cage of loneliness and I felt better than I have felt in years. Anyway, I now figure that if I can just find a lover, that my impulse problem will go away completely and I am working diligently on this project.

Anyway, yeah this is why I think that I might be an sx dom.
[MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] [MENTION=6877]Marmotini[/MENTION] [MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION] [MENTION=5289]mcgooglian[/MENTION] [MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION]

You may all want to check out this thread.

here's what your problem is.

1. your tired of being a walking ash tray
2. your tired of feeling guilty every time you want to light up

But with blu E-cigs you can enjoy smoking without affecting the people around you. Its vapor and not tobacco, that means no ash.
And the best part of it all is no offensive odor. with blu, you can smoke anywhere and not have to worry about going outside to smoke
when you are at a bar with your friends. We're all Adults here, it's time we take our freedom back! Rise from the ashes my friend!!

you can thank me later great one :)
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
[MENTION=15607]The Great One[/MENTION]
after talking to you for several months, I think Sx/Sp is a good fit for you. you're clearly not Sp last and you are obsessed with intense exchanges of energy.
 

The Great One

New member
Joined
Apr 27, 2012
Messages
3,439
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
6w7
here's what your problem is.

1. your tired of being a walking ash tray
2. your tired of feeling guilty every time you want to light up

But with blu E-cigs you can enjoy smoking without affecting the people around you. Its vapor and not tobacco, that means no ash.
And the best part of it all is no offensive odor. with blu, you can smoke anywhere and not have to worry about going outside to smoke
when you are at a bar with your friends. We're all Adults here, it's time we take our freedom back! Rise from the ashes my friend!!

you can thank me later great one :)

This post has changed my life.

[MENTION=15607]The Great One[/MENTION]
after talking to you for several months, I think Sx/Sp is a good fit for you. you're clearly not Sp last and you are obsessed with intense exchanges of energy.

Yeah, I'm almost wondering if I'm not sx/so coolside though. I seem to display a significant amount of SO for some reason.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
This post has changed my life.
Yeah, I'm almost wondering if I'm not sx/so coolside though. I seem to display a significant amount of SO for some reason.

think about everything you've shared in our conversations. you're about as Sp last as the Pope is Protestant.
 

The Great One

New member
Joined
Apr 27, 2012
Messages
3,439
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
6w7
think about everything you've shared in our conversations. you're about as Sp last as the Pope is Protestant.

I know, it's just very confusing for me because I tend to have influences from all 3 variants. Also, it seems like I was always so as well as sx. It really seems like the self pres came later. However I often wonder if I have always had strong self pres but just didn't notice it because all of my self pres needs were met by my parents when I was a child.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Mm, [MENTION=15607]The Great One[/MENTION], I would love to give you good advice and input, but being in the middle of my own questioning, I don't feel particularly settled right now in terms of understanding where everything falls in terms of instinct.

I do think that even if your parents attended to your sp needs, you would still have had a focus on them. Your parents couldn't, for example, have a good feel for what kind of physical conditions made you most comfortable, or whether your clothes were adequate for your desires, or whether you had enough energy to take care of what you needed to do, whether you had enough money to get what you wanted, or whether you had enough time to do what you were planning. I would think sp doms would still feel all this internally from an early age.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
no [MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION], I'm ENFP as fuck ;)

haha (proving me right since May 2010)

Honestly though, the primary reason I feel comfortable responding to your posts is because I get to discuss personality theory knowing my opinions will have absolutely no influence on you whatsoever haha. Because once people feel fairly settled on a certain type I don’t necessarily feel they should be influenced – even if there was a way to conclusively prove the individual was wrong. Basically, I feel that if a person identifies with a certain type – there’s a reason. There’s meaning there. This notion strengthens in my mind when it comes to individuals (like yourself) that appear to be in possession of certain traits that make them more challenging to type. For example, while I’ve never seen any kinds of type test scores from you…you have all the tell tale signs of an individual that is making near equal use of your dom and aux functions (nearly balanced dom/aux). And a nearly balanced use of dom/aux alone...regardless of MBTI or e-type...will provide you with a never-ending supply of doubters no matter what you decide so... So, yes I have a difference of opinion regarding which function is actually leading... but at the same time I should say I see why ENFP 7w6 (and actually sx/sp when I consider what I believe to be your dom function) were identified by you... And there are a fair amount of members that feel best when you are the above type. (umm, I can see your signature above while composing this message and...wth is a Chibi Seme? <--okay, maybe don't answer that. And perhaps don't address anything having to do with Papa Bear, Dark Worker or Sunburst either haha. But I do know what Wanderer is...and ‘Enjoy!’ haha)

I want to respond to the type stuff because I find it so interesting but I'm too exhausted tonight and should probably find another place to do it in right? I'm assuming it would be considered off topic here.

Sp is about
- survival
- comfort
- security
- domesticity/predictability
- physical safety
- competence
- risk management

Yes, and would add...as it applies to sx/sp & sp/sx not just physical safety but mental...and (especially) emotional safety as well. sx-doms are actually identified or known for neglecting their physical well-being and I'm totally guilty of that.

also, my energy is very conflicted. many people who have talked to me over the phone said that I came off like an Sp/So at times.

Alright.




This is a common problem that I run into at pretty much every enneagram site that I go to: no one can ever come up with a clear and definitive definition of the sx variant. There is one side of the fence that says that sx has to do with relationships, sex, desirability, dating, etc. Then there is the other side that says that none of these things have to do with sx. In fact, the other side says that sx is all about passion, intensity, and chemistry. In fact, a lot of people tell me that many sx doms are very happy being monks, priests, etc, and never have a relationship, date, have sex, or do anything to really create a deep bond with someone romantically and still live happy lives. I simply don't believe this. From my experience, the sx doms are generally obsessed, with sex, dating, relationships, desirability, and it seems like for them to give these things up would almost be unbearable to them. But anyway, I've noticed that the general trend on these sites is that people just wind up typing people based on their energy instead of what they say and what they desire because no one can ever come up with a definitive definition of sx, and because of this it's hard to make an accurate typing.

I agree. While I’m looking directly at it though I’d like to say… I didn’t just ‘wind up’ typing you and Elfboy based on your energy like how you describe it above. For the record, I have been telling Elfboy for quite some time now that he is sx-dom. And just the other day I reminded him of a time when immediately following this suggestion from me …he posted a personal story in his blog illustrating just how 'sp as fuck’ he was. The day he became ‘sx as fuck’ he only thanked Amargith for it haha.

This is absolutely not to say I’m somehow above ‘energy’ or ‘vibe’ typing strategies – hell no. I would be an absolute fool to avoid something like that. Whenever anyone asks me to give them my opinion on their type (this just happened this morning btw)…I specifically request that they not tell me anything right then…precisely because I want to get the ‘vibe’ first. I’d also like to point out how many times I’ve thought about someone’s type for a good deal of time…only to have some other member arrive at the same exact answer by saying something like ‘The vibe I get from you is XXXX…but like I said it’s just a vibe.’ haha. The method I notice causes the biggest fuck ups and mistypes? Typing by descriptions. Yah. Even still, where I was discussing energy with regards to how it flows had nothing to do with any of this. If you wish to know…I arrived at my assessment of you based on what I remember from the overall content of your posts [edit: I will read your new description tomorrow though]

I personally think all the enneagram descriptions fail in many ways…not just the sx variant. You really need to read books on the topic – I honestly think it’s the only way. I mean, I have seen a few shorthand descriptions I felt did an excellent job but for the most part…? Someone really needs to author some decent short descriptions…which ideally made allocations for at least a few of the correlated MBTI for each e-type.
 

The Great One

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[MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION]

Yeah, I pretty much disregarded Sp needs altogether when I was younger. I had no idea what Sp was at all. I only developed SP because I became poor for a long period of time and wound up with no health insurance. When you have no health insurance it sucks and you basically get sick and there is no one to help you, and I really hated that. I can remember having so and sx awareness my entire life though.
[MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION]

1.Yes, I know that many of the descriptions suck but what else can I really go by besides energy.

2. Yes, I have been told that I have the energy of a so/sx many times, but in terms of what I chase after in life I look more sp/sx at the moment.

3. I can't really see myself as sx/so though because I'm just not insane enough.
 

Azure Flame

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When people are surprised to see how good you actually are with women.
 

skylights

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[MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION]

Yeah, I pretty much disregarded Sp needs altogether when I was younger. I had no idea what Sp was at all. I only developed SP because I became poor for a long period of time and wound up with no health insurance. When you have no health insurance it sucks and you basically get sick and there is no one to help you, and I really hated that. I can remember having so and sx awareness my entire life though.

I would have a really hard time seeing you as sp-first at all then, if this is true. The sp-firsts that I know seem to always have some level of awareness of sp needs in one way or another, even as younger children. Not that variant is necessarily crystallized at that point, but I have a hard time thinking your dominant would be essentially invisible and suddenly become strong enough to be your top priority.

2. Yes, I have been told that I have the energy of a so/sx many times, but in terms of what I chase after in life I look more sp/sx at the moment.

I was feeling this way, too, about sx/so, but I think after a lot of discussion in the thread that I created, I'm not sure if instinct necessarily identifies what your priorities are (hear me out) as much as it identifies how you prioritize, or simply what/how you see. I've always thought I was sx/so because my first priority has always been unity and connection, but after reading a lot about how the variants operate, I've begun to see my own perspective as more of a connectivity than chemistry - this excerpt really clarified it for me:

Jim Aldrich said:
[The social instinct] compells you to desire to interact with others, and focus on the interactions between you and others, as well as the interaction between you and… things even [... Social types...] are aware of also the interactions between others and others, and others and the environment as well as themselves and others and themselves and the environment. It’s being aware of interactions in general. How everything interacts with each other. [...] One gear affects another, and their aware of how they can harm and help this whole entire process (of interacting with others and stuff) [...]

Sx-firsts, on the other hand, aren’t as aware of the interactions between them and others and the environment, rather… their more aware of the chemistry [...] Focusing on sx-first issues involve: Am I close to my gf/bf? Am I close to my family? How much in common do we all have? Do I really like this thing? Am I attracted to it? Is that person attracted to that other person? etc. They’re more aware of the bonds and the chemistry between them and people, as well as environment, and other people and other people, as well as other people and the environment [...]

sp-firsts worry more about fitness. Fitness in general, of course, not necessarily just body fitness. Therefore, they worry more about how fit they are in their environment, as well as how fit other people are in their environment. They want to be fit.

This is a difference which I didn't really understand until now, with sx being more about within relationships and so being more about between relationships, which might go a long way in explaining why my intrapersonal Fi values tend to veer surprisingly towards usual interpersonal Fe values. And then sp is more about internal status, about how well-suited you are to endure whatever scenario you're in.

Which gives a simplistic association of -

Sp - Inside one
Sx - Within two
So - Between multiple

So to loop back to myself, I really thought I was sx because I was (am) so invested in one-to-one relationships, deep bonding, and really getting lost in experiences, but all of that for me is sort of framed in a more collaborative sense, with one-to-one relationships being the creation of a unity - not us becoming one another but us becoming a synergistic unit - more us looking out at the world together than us looking at one another - deep bonding being about long-term maintenance of mutually supportive relationships that may fluctuate in terms of intensity but are most importantly still connected - and getting lost in experiences being very much about becoming one with the "All". Obviously sx is still strong within me, but I mistook what I wanted for how I was seeing things.

In other words, I think something incredibly important about the variants is that they don't necessarily predict what we want, but rather why we want it, or at least how we frame it. So your top priority might be finding a mate, but I don't think that necessarily immediately makes you sx as much it gives you a good scenario for determining your perspective on what feels necessary and why.
 

The Great One

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I would have a really hard time seeing you as sp-first at all then, if this is true. The sp-firsts that I know seem to always have some level of awareness of sp needs in one way or another, even as younger children. Not that variant is necessarily crystallized at that point, but I have a hard time thinking your dominant would be essentially invisible and suddenly become strong enough to be your top priority.



I was feeling this way, too, about sx/so, but I think after a lot of discussion in the thread that I created, I'm not sure if instinct necessarily identifies what your priorities are (hear me out) as much as it identifies how you prioritize, or simply what/how you see. I've always thought I was sx/so because my first priority has always been unity and connection, but after reading a lot about how the variants operate, I've begun to see my own perspective as more of a connectivity than chemistry - this excerpt really clarified it for me:



This is a difference which I didn't really understand until now, with sx being more about within relationships and so being more about between relationships, which might go a long way in explaining why my intrapersonal Fi values tend to veer surprisingly towards usual interpersonal Fe values. And then sp is more about internal status, about how well-suited you are to endure whatever scenario you're in.

Which gives a simplistic association of -

Sp - Inside one
Sx - Within two
So - Between multiple

So to loop back to myself, I really thought I was sx because I was (am) so invested in one-to-one relationships, deep bonding, and really getting lost in experiences, but all of that for me is sort of framed in a more collaborative sense, with one-to-one relationships being the creation of a unity - not us becoming one another but us becoming a synergistic unit - more us looking out at the world together than us looking at one another - deep bonding being about long-term maintenance of mutually supportive relationships that may fluctuate in terms of intensity but are most importantly still connected - and getting lost in experiences being very much about becoming one with the "All". Obviously sx is still strong within me, but I mistook what I wanted for how I was seeing things.

In other words, I think something incredibly important about the variants is that they don't necessarily predict what we want, but rather why we want it, or at least how we frame it. So your top priority might be finding a mate, but I don't think that necessarily immediately makes you sx as much it gives you a good scenario for determining your perspective on what feels necessary and why.

I'm still sx first based on that description. What's interesting about myself is that I could give less of a damn what's happening between others. I don't really care about being part of a group either. I do care about what society as a whole thinks of me though, and I'm wondering if that's just my very strong 3w2 fix rearing it's ugly head.
 

skylights

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I'm still sx first based on that description. What's interesting about myself is that I could give less of a damn what's happening between others. I don't really care about being part of a group either. I do care about what society as a whole thinks of me though, and I'm wondering if that's just my very strong 3w2 fix rearing it's ugly head.

The energies are, perhaps, not so different.

so/sx - including, associating, affiliating, networking, incorporating, interconnecting, introducing, unifying, linking, bonding, annexing, cooperating, receiving

sx/sp - intensifying, escalating, rising, surging, enlivening, invigorating, accelerating, stimulating, energizing, vitalizing, reviving, animating, inspiriting

Both gather.
 
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