Manifest in 3 Zones, and distortions:
1) Edge/Aggression/ Pushing the envelope
- Moving towards what draws you energetically, drive towards what is exciting and interesting, element of risk, of overcoming boundaries, destructive. Salmon swimming upstream to [blocked due to guideline #4 violation] and die. Most aggressive version of their type. There's an element of risk and exhaustion. Jealousy and Competition, over-aggression, over-spending energy, can be heartless, this is hunter-prey dynamic. Everything else sidelined. Recklessness.
- Display, broadcasting one's energy and reading the energy of others (not attunement - that is social, this is "where's the juice?"), phallic sending out signals of one's "feathers", what one is all about. Trying to intrigue and being intrigued. Peacocking. *this is not being aware of the other, attuned, connected or bonded*. Where the other "is at" is social. Projecting energy, trying to attract, "feelers" out looking for the juice. Trying to draw you in, like energetic "pheromones".
- completely absorbed, immersion, not just in others but in passions. without the heart center it becomes spiraling, self-absorption, tends to mix with narcissistic issues, tries to resolve left over childhood b.s. Male mantis being eaten by females, male spiders being eaten by females. The question is what do I fusing with? You don't fuse with just anything (there's a picky-ness here... hunter waits for prey... finding the right game, the perfect mate, the right spark. It's not connection. There is a specific intelligence to the attraction, see my example below of plagues and arranged marriages), the nature of the attraction-immersion is that there is a specific something that draws attraction and immersion is sought in.
Once resources are gathered by SP, they want to be used, activated. Doing something with them is social.
-[/COLOR]Russ said about 50 percent of people who think they're sexual aren't, social in most cases, misunderstanding the two instincts, which is not their fault, fault of [blocked due to guideline #4 violation] teachings.
Being turned on, spending energy, driven to spend energy, not a choice.
Chemistry and fusion, not intimacy.
-Attracting and being attracted. Also repelling. Time to hunt, mate and go out - aggression and competition - Display - flowers are an example.
-In presence, we're drawn to what makes more life and energy, when we're distorted, we move to what gives the ego more energy.
-To be used up by existence, fused with essence, letting no barriers get in the way. Nothing stops you from union with the beloved.
Surrender, obliterated by beloved, going all the way.
-In sex, we can't be intact.
-Sx is the part of us that doesn't tolerate veils and barriers. The transforming, creative force. competition is the engine of evolution. Breaks things up, shakes things up, sexual is a destabilizing force, but also reconstitution.
Sexual is the reconstituting of separate elements coming together in new ways - creativity.
energy that gets us off our ass, fascinated.
Instinctual wisdom and intelligence - Jess and Russ talked about cultures with arranged marriages, more so and sp than sx, and how that made those cultures more susceptible to being wiped out by plagues. attraction has intelligence.
-intensity - intense about what? intensity needed because intimacy can't be felt.
high sx-people have erratic lives
-social instinct is affection and tenderness. sexual is an energetic synergy. The sexual is not discriminating, because that implies choice, which is social. the sexual has no choice about what it's attracted to, but the instinct has strong attracts and strong repulsions (i'm not saying sexual is interested in everything, more like the opposite - sexual is attracted to very specific elements, but as far as the WHY or the pursuit of that attraction, there is little to no control. Likewise, the sexual instinct has an incredibly hard time engaging with something it's not attracted to.)
sx-last: postponing the sexual. Not that one doesn't have sx, have passion, have attraction, but it's constantly postponed, corked. passion is kept in a jar. Sx-last person feels unattractive, ashamed, unconscious "I'm boring and lucky to have friends". Sexual can always be talked out of - "I would pursue this, but my work/this person needs me." Seems disruptive or unruly. SX is done self-consciously.
3 Levels of Development:
1) Unconscious - seeking peaks states of energy and intensity to point of self-destruction, or neurotic about where the energy fix is coming from, manipulating, forcing, hung-up on how to squeeze most intensity. obsession with object. addiction to object of attraction.
2) Growing - activated energy for creation and fulfillment, energy that undoes the log-jams.
3) Illuminated - be on wave of creative life force, energy fully engaged in awakening, sx generated in service of essence, the real juice is awakening. complete transmission. Sacred Prostitute - Jess mentioned Virgina Satir - said she wouldn't work with a client if she couldn't imagine making love to them, otherwise there would not be a complete transmission.
some examples that were mentioned:-
sx 3 "doing" desirability, becoming something to be the ideal mate. shaping oneself into ideal mate of object of attraction.
sx 4 hardest time being practical, run by their attraction, "come here, see if you can handle me" hard to handle pride. i'm not willing to be civilized.
sx 6 anxiety about attractiveness, sx 6 males can seem 8ish, not necessarily counterphobic, leather jackets, motorcycles, bruce springsteen-esque tough guy, but 'feminine' coyishness and being undone in love and romance. SX 6 females, cultivating attractiveness and highly feminine with a toyboyish streak to undermine it, 'protesting' their own strategy - "i hate being pretty" but also wanting to be the prettiest.
sx 9 - conflict of autonomy and boundaries and fusion. Sloth and fusion. Most aggressive 9, can seem unlike typical 9. Fusing, losing oneself in fusion, "waking up" and reclaiming boundaries. Triangulation is common - "I love two people and can't chose between either" as a way of keeping boundaries while also keeping the blame off themselves for causing this conflict "if i make this choice, i hurt person X, or this choice, person Y. i can't help what i feel."