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  1. #41
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_World_As_Will View Post
    Lady X, you seem like an so/sx to me, consider the following, and see if it rings a bell

    soc/sx
    This stacking lends itself to very strong one to one social skills, but is usually uncomfortable in group settings. They enjoy cultivating multiple relationships, and can be intensely involved when in the presence of someone they are interested in, but have difficulty sustaining these bonds when apart. This may give the impression of being flighty and rootless, willing to adapt and mirror others in order to connect, but lacking a defined approach that would give their relationships a more solid standing. They may have political interests, but are generally more pragmatic and less partisan than the other social variant. They are often attuned to pop culture and the latest trends.



    Social/Sexual

    This Seven has a lot of energy although not always a productive energy, as it often contains a frenetic quality. These Sevens usually have a great sense of humor and many comedians are soc/sexual sevens. The social and sexual instincts go hand in hand with the type Seven fixation. These Sevens want to keep things light. They have fast sharp minds that incorporate social awareness into their humor which they use to get by in their interactions with the world. On the down side, commitment is a big issue for this subtype. They cultivate many friendships and can thrive on winning people over, making them laugh and entertaining them[B] but intimacy can feel threatening and constrainin[/B]g. For others, interacting with this subtype of Seven can feel draining, because they are “on” so much of the time.

    With the self-pres instinct least developed in the stacking, they tend to lose focus on their many plans. On the down side, their health and commitments can fall by the wayside in lieu of the buzz of the newest excitement.

    In intimate relationships, this subtype is “the charmer,” but they maintain their freedom from any strong ties to the one person. They may end up in marriages or long term commitments where they hook up with someone reliable and stable, someone with a much more low key personality. This gives them the stability they don’t have themselves. This eventually leads to trouble if the soc/sexual seven doesn’t realize that responsibility for his or her own life can’t be transferred to another. It’s not that the soc/sexual goes into the relationship with this kind of pattern in mind. It is just easy for the dynamic to default to that dynamic.
    i bolded what doesn't fit at all...i'll do the same to the sx/so



    sx/so
    This is the type that exudes the most raw charisma and sexual energy. They may identify so strongly with whatever they're involved with that they often become the symbol of its core essence, and sometimes its lead agent for change. Hardly content with the status quo, this subvariant seeks to alter the fundamental structure of something while at once embodying it's purest or most extreme form. Possibly attracted to radical views on politics, philosophy, spirituality or creativity that reflect their penchant for testing boundaries. They enjoy pushing other's buttons, especially those resistant to their modes of expression. It's not uncommon for them to have a pet social, political or spiritual cause which they're able to support with heartfelt conviction. May exploit and seek to redefine sexuality to reflect their own colorful and uncertain understanding of it. While prone to exhibitionism, they are strongly attracted to grounding influences which can anchor them and provide stability. Failure to satisfy an especially intense desire for connection may cause this subvariant to spite others at the risk of jeopardizing the need for an equal, stabilizing force. Can feel pulled between wanting a life of maximum intensity and reassuring episodes of peaceful convention.
    Motivation: to impact others, question assumptions, challenge convention.
    Familiar roles: provocateur, activist, exhibitionish
    Examples of sx/so: Madonna, John Lennon, Yukio Mishima, Robin Williams, Drew Barrymore, Richard Simmons, Elvis, Bono, George Michael, Sinead O'Connor, Joan of Arc.

    shit...nevermind...started to bold some things and then reworked the meanings a bit and could see how they fit...but i think the sx/sp and sp/sx kinda fit too...ahh!


    see!! this feels right too kinda...this is the problem.


    sp/sx
    These people often have an earthy, mysterious quality to them. They are quietly intense, but to others may seem oblivious to the greater social world around them, instead favoring personal interests. They are slow to commit, but once they do it is with an attitude of life commitment, to the establishment of an impermeable bond. Others can be taken aback by how suddenly and completely this type can lock into them, and by the depth of understanding of the other's condition. They attach to others at an organic, root level, in contrast to the other subvariant's surface formality. Somewhat hesitant to enter new relationships, they instead preserve the select few enduring bonds they carefully form along the way. The sanctuary of home is of paramount concern, and this type takes particular delight in decorating their spaces to reflect their cherished sense of taste and depth. Depth and discrimination characterize this stacking.

    Motivation: to live in a secure, comfortable environment where they can pursue their private interests in depth.

    Familiar Roles: the mate, the mystic, the quiet supporter.

    Examples: George Harrison, Jackie Onassis, Eric Clapton, Emily Dickinson
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #42
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I agree with onemoretime....focus on your core motivations. The stacking descriptions can be contradicting depending on the source. Sometimes you can see yourself in several. It's similar to MBTI in that sense; if you don't let stereotypical behavioral descriptions block you from recognizing your preferred forms of cognition then you can identify your type, or in the case of enneagram, your emotional & instinctual motivations.

    Oh yeah.....not sure if this point has been elaborated on, but when it comes to the social instinct, it's important to remember that it can go two ways: since it drives one to establish their ego in relation to a group, this can mean within or outside the group. In the case of being driven to exist outside of the group, they are less concerned with social status in a typical way, and more concerned with setting themselves apart (ie. they may enjoy an "outcast" status or prefer to identify with a less mainstream group). This is especially true if paired with sp (sp/so or so/sp). It's kind of like how 6s can be phobic or counterphobic, displaying different behaviors from the same motivations; social instinctual types can be concerned with being a part of a group or making sure they are no part of one, but both stem from identifying themselves in relation to the group somehow.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  3. #43
    Obsession. Lethe's Avatar
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    How much do you relate to the following description? I've found it to be a good, unbiased litmus test for the Social instinct.

    Social (aka "Adaptive") Instinct

    Just as many people tend to misidentify themselves as Sexual types because they want one-on-one relationships, many people fail to recognize themselves as Social types because they get the (false) idea that this means always being involved in groups, meetings, and parties. If Self-Preservation types are interested in adjusting the environment to make themselves more secure and comfortable, Social types adapt themselves to serve the needs of the social situation they find themselves in. Thus, Social types are highly aware of other people, whether they are in intimate situations or in groups. They are also aware of how their actions and attitudes are affecting those around them.

    Moreover, Sexual types seek intimacy, Social types seek personal connection: they want to stay in long-term contact with people and to be involved in their world. Social types are the most concerned with doing things that will have some impact on their community, or even broader domains. They tend to be warmer, more open, engaging, and socially responsible than the other two types. In their primary relationships, they seek partners with whom they can share social activities, wanting their intimates to get involved in projects and events with them. Paradoxically, they actually tend to avoid long periods of exclusive intimacy and quiet solitude, seeing both as potentially limiting. Social types lose their sense of identity and meaning when they are not involved with others in activities that transcend their individual interests.
    I don't know how great the other two descriptions are, especially for those who are Sx and Sp Dominants. But here it is anyway:

    Self Preservation Instinct

    People who have this as their dominant instinct are preoccupied with the safety, comfort, health, energy, and well-being of the physical body. In a word, they are concerned with having enough resources to meet life's demands. Identification with the body is a fundamental focus for all humans, and we need our body to function well in order to be alive and active in the world. Most people in contemporary cultures are not faced life or death "survival" in the strictest sense; thus, Self-Preservation types tend to be concerned with food, money, housing, medical matters, and physical comfort. Moreover, those primarily focused on self-preservation, by extension, are usually interested in maintaining these resources for others as well. Their focus of attention naturally goes towards things related to these areas such as clothes, temperature, shopping, decorating, and the like, particularly if they are not satisfied in these areas or have a feeling of deficiency due to their childhoods. Self-Pres types tend to be more grounded, practical, serious, and introverted than the other two instinctual types. They might have active social lives and a satisfying intimate relationship, but if they feel that their self-preservation needs are not being met, still tend not to be happy or at ease. In their primary relationships, these people are "nesters"—they seek domestic tranquility and security with a stable, reliable partner.

    Sexual (aka "Attraction") Instinct

    Many people originally identify themselves as this type because they have learned that the Sexual types are interested in "one-on-one relationships." But all three instinctual types are interested in one-on-one relationships for different reasons, so this does not distinguish them. The key element in Sexual types is an intense drive for intimacy and a constant awareness of the "chemistry" between themselves and others. Sexual types are immediately aware of the attraction, or lack thereof, between themselves and other people. Further, while the basis of this instinct is related to sexuality, it is not necessarily about people engaging in the sexual act. There are many people that we are excited to be around for reasons of personal chemistry that we have no intention of "getting involved with." Nonetheless, we might be aware that we feel stimulated in certain people's company and less so in others. The sexual type is constantly moving toward that sense of intense stimulation and intimacy in their relationships and in their activities. They are the most "energized" of the three instinctual types, and tend to be more aggressive, competitive, charged, and emotionally intense than the Self-Pres or Social types. Sexual types need to have deep intimacy in their primary relationships or else they remain unsatisfied. They enjoy being intensely involved—even merged—with others, and can become disenchanted with partners who are unable to meet their need for intense energetic union. Losing yourself in a "fusion" of being is the ideal here, and Sexual types are always looking for this state with others and with stimulating objects in their world.

    Source: http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/intro.asp#instincts
    Then this, [ quoting Speed Gavroche here ]:

    Quote Originally Posted by Speed Gavroche View Post
    I've find it here:The Enneagram Blogspot: Instinctual Variant Stackings

    Typical Mindset

    Sx/Sp:"If I can make (us) have an orderly & pleasing lifestyle, I can keep up and escalate all this merging/intensity."
    Sp/Sx: "I can have merging/intensity without having to leave my orderly & pleasing lifestyle." (imagination, safe people and relationships, when the safety of these are challenged they withdraw)

    Sp/So: "If I can maintain position and inclusion in the group/world, I can make sure of and keep my orderly and pleasing lifestyle." (May try to be just appealing and connected with groups enough for everyone to get out of their hair. )
    So/Sp: "If I can establish an orderly and pleasing lifestyle, I can make sure of and keep improving my position and inclusion in the group/world."

    So/Sx: "If I can get close to people with merging/intensity, I can make sure of and keep improving my position and inclusion in the group/world."
    Sx/So: "If I can maintain position and inclusion in the group/world, I can keep up and escalate all this merging/intensity."
    "I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan

    Enneagram: Tritype - 1w9, 5 (balanced wings), 2w3; Overall Variant: So/Sx
    SLOAN: rCoa|I|
    Functional Preferences: Ni, Te/Fi, Ti, Se, Fe, Si, Ne


    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Looking into the eyes of a [Ni user] is like peeking through a portal into a parallel universe.

  4. #44
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    okay...what's the difference between personal connection and intimacy?

    and...reading through those...still i relate a bit to each but i guess we all do because we all use all of them right? so the one that feels most true is sx...i feel i'm always aware of the chemistry between myself and others..it's instant and when it's good...i'm lively and funny...open and engaging...without it i'm guarded...shy and awkward...so is this an so thing or an sx thing

    so...sp stuff...i am very interested in making my environment comfortable for myself and others...i care a great deal about ambiance..i like everything to be a certain way...i'm a nester...i like feeling settled and want my environment homey

    other stuff...so maybe.. i love having people over...i prefer a group over just one person. i can go out to eat with 5 people i don't know well but would feel awkward with just one i don't know well.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #45
    Obsession. Lethe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    and...reading through those...still i relate a bit to each but i guess we all do because we all use all of them right?
    Exactly. --

    While we have all three Instincts in us, one of them is the dominant focus of our attention and behavior—the set of attitudes and values that we are most attracted to and comfortable with. We each also have a second Instinct that is used to support the dominant Instinct, as well as a third Instinct that is the least developed—a real blind spot in our personality and our values. Which Instinct is in each of these three places—most, middle, and least developed—produces what we call our "Instinctual Stack" (like a three-layer cake) with your dominant Instinct on top, the next most developed Instinct in the middle, and the least developed on the bottom).

    These instinctual drives profoundly influence our personalities, and at the same time, our personalities largely determine how each person prioritizes these instinctual needs. Thus, while every human being has all three of these instincts operating in him or her, our personality causes us to be more concerned with one of these instincts than the other two. We call this instinct our dominant instinct. This tends to be our first priority—the area of life we attend to first. But when we are more caught up in the defenses of our personality—further down the Levels of Development— our personality most interferes with our dominant instinct.

    Source: http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/intro.asp#instincts
    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    so the one that feels most true is sx...i feel i'm always aware of the chemistry between myself and others..it's instant and when it's good...i'm lively and funny...open and engaging...without it i'm guarded...shy and awkward...so is this an so thing or an sx thing
    Sx definitely. Compared to Sx dominants, I think I have a smaller range of chemistry detection within my interactions. Beyond the basic "good-hearted camaraderie", I notice less of a change in the intensity. Usually Sx-doms will pick up on the multiple variations (hot, warm, mild, freezing, cool, etc.), however.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    okay...what's the difference between personal connection and intimacy?
    Briefly, my take is that with 'intimacy', one can adjust the degree from which the personal connection occurs. A So dominant may gather many personal connections of different levels, but a Sx Dominant will be inclined to have more connections of a certain caliber (referring to their desired level of chemistry).
    "I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan

    Enneagram: Tritype - 1w9, 5 (balanced wings), 2w3; Overall Variant: So/Sx
    SLOAN: rCoa|I|
    Functional Preferences: Ni, Te/Fi, Ti, Se, Fe, Si, Ne


    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Looking into the eyes of a [Ni user] is like peeking through a portal into a parallel universe.

  6. #46
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    okay thanks for that...so maybe some of the wordings just throw me off. i don't feel like i'm in search of intense one on one connections all the time...but out of all of those motivations..the one i feel most preoccupied with is that of the chemistry between myself and others...even with those i'm already close to...the intensity varies all the time and i'm aware of it and concerned with it....interesting.

    thanks...i feel like i'm getting somewhere now..
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #47

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    I get confused too. I do feel I am looking for intense one on one connections, plus I want my comfort too. I'm just a glutton.

  8. #48
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    maybe looking for it is the same as being aware of it and it's just getting twisted in my head....and i want both too! haha cheers to gluttony!
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #49

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    Here's to having your cake and eating it too!

  10. #50
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speed Gavroche View Post
    I relate totally to that Sky, your ARE Sx/So, trust me.


    yeah i totally believe that i am. it makes a whole lot of sense in my life.

    Losing yourself in a "fusion" of being is the ideal here, and Sexual types are always looking for this state with others and with stimulating objects in their world.


    i almost get thrown here with the social instinct because i tend to do this with groups.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X
    so maybe some of the wordings just throw me off. i don't feel like i'm in search of intense one on one connections all the time...but out of all of those motivations..the one i feel most preoccupied with is that of the chemistry between myself and others...even with those i'm already close to...the intensity varies all the time and i'm aware of it and concerned with it....interesting.
    i like that way of putting it. i relate.

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