User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 32

  1. #1
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    3,689

    Default Enneagram/instinct variant and love languages

    I know there’s some mention of instinct variant in the other thread going, but I’m curious about enneagram as well, so I figured I’d start a new thread. A lot of people wrote explanations for their preferences- and probably aren’t going to feel like explaining the same thing again- but consider just posting your love language preferences with enneagram type and instinct variant (foregoing explanations, if you don't feel like doing it again)?

    As for me, 5w4 sp/sx, I have a hard time giving a preference for love language because it’s so situational to me, and changes a lot according to who I’m dealing with. I think the two things I can’t go without in really close relationships are quality time and words of affirmation. I probably need physical touch (to some extent) in romantic partnership- but I’ve certainly always needed it less than the partners I’ve had, and too much of it begins to feel like a constant interruption to me. It’s hard to say which is my least favorite, because it really depends on the person.




    [I did do a search, to see if there was already an 'enneagram/love language thread' and nothing turned up.]

    For a recap of the types and their description, from this site:

    Receiving Gifts: Presents and physical tokens of affection move you. It's the fact that someone is thinking about you enough to give you something that moves you. The objects are of secondary importance to the relationship and sentiment with which they were intended.

    Quality Time: This can be expressed either through those intimate tête-à-tête discussions or via doing things together.


    Acts of Service: You prefer to show your love through favors and chores and doing things for others. You feel put-upon and unappreciated when your efforts are taken for granted.


    Physical Touch: You want to give and/or receive affection physically. This may or may not center on sex.


    Words of Affirmation: You need to hear praise to know you are loved, and you may also prefer to express your affection verbally. Negative comments cut right to the bone. You want to hear that you're loved and how much and why.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari

  2. #2
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    806

    Default

    I think I'm a 9w1 so/sp.

    Prefer to give: words of affirmation
    Prefer to receive: quality time or acts of service

    Words of affirmation: acknowledging and complimenting strengths, voicing appreciation for important things said and done, and heartfelt reassurance. Especially when the other person is depressive or anxious or whatever. Not necessarily a bunch of "I love you"s, but I think even "thanks for everything that you do" is important to say. Little things are important to say. And yeah, refraining from insults or disrespectful, intentionally cutting words. Learning how and how not to say certain things.

    Quality time: uninterrupted discussion of ideas, problems, feelings, anything like that. Or just hanging out. Communication in general, I guess. Even the phone is alright.

    Acts of service: "Let me do that for you" really is <333
    I don't know, I just have an insane soft spot for someone who is neat and organized, clear-headed, can keep track of things, and expresses it in even small ways like replacing broken things or rearranging something for easier access. Or making soup for you when you're sick or something. So amazing.

  3. #3
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    8,025

    Default

    835 tritype or 8w7 sx/sp.

    Touch and quality time (within reason).

  4. #4
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    4,961

    Default

    4w5 sx/sp
    giving: physical touch, quality time
    recieving: physical touch, words of affirmation

  5. #5

    Default

    5w4 sx/so

    Prefer to give- Words of Affirmation, Quality time
    Prefer to receive- Words of Affirmation, Quality time

  6. #6
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INtp
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    5,091

    Default

    5w6, not entirely sure of variant but so/sp is a good bet.

    In order from most to least important:

    Words of Affirmation
    Quality Time
    Acts of Service
    Physical Touch
    Receiving Gifts
    INtp
    5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
    Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
    Neutral Good
    LII-Ne




  7. #7
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Enneagram
    9w8 so/sx
    Posts
    11,544

    Default

    7w8 sp/so

    I thought quality time and physical touch would be the most important things to me in showing love, turns out receiving/giving gifts and either words of affirmation or quality time say the most to me, acts of service are without a doubt the least romantic to me whatever the case.

  8. #8
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    7w6 sx/so i think...i know i'm sx first but not sure about the other two (if someone could help me figure out how to determine that that would be awesome)

    words of affirmation
    quality time/ physical touch
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #9
    Senior Member Goosebump's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    9
    Socionics
    SEI
    Posts
    129

    Default

    9w8 I'm still not sure of my variant stackings

    Prefer to give - Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touches
    Prefer to receive- Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touches
    In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher.

    9w8 so/sx/sp

    --Deviantart--

  10. #10
    Junior Member Argentum's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Socionics
    INTp
    Posts
    9

    Default

    I am a 5w4. SX/SP.

    I prefer to give quality time and physical touch.

    I prefer to get quality time and equal measures of physical touch and acts of service. (I dislike being touched sometimes, but sometimes an act of service can can relieve my stress enough to enjoy touch again.)

    Though really, the "incompatible" styles can work for me in some way. It just has to be done with thought--like a well thought out gift, or the right words when I need to hear them. Not all the time.

Similar Threads

  1. Elfboy's Enneagram/Instinct Variant Chart
    By Elfboy in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 04-07-2014, 06:36 AM
  2. Instinctual Variants and love making style
    By Elfboy in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-30-2013, 12:13 AM
  3. Types and Love Languages
    By autumnandtherain in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 66
    Last Post: 12-13-2013, 01:08 PM
  4. [Inst] Instinctual Stacking and Love Language
    By Mia. in forum Instinctual Subtypes
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 03-29-2013, 01:13 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO