I know there’s some mention of instinct variant in the other thread going, but I’m curious about enneagram as well, so I figured I’d start a new thread. A lot of people wrote explanations for their preferences- and probably aren’t going to feel like explaining the same thing again- but consider just posting your love language preferences with enneagram type and instinct variant (foregoing explanations, if you don't feel like doing it again)?
As for me, 5w4 sp/sx, I have a hard time giving a preference for love language because it’s so situational to me, and changes a lot according to who I’m dealing with. I think the two things I can’t go without in really close relationships are quality time and words of affirmation. I probably need physical touch (to some extent) in romantic partnership- but I’ve certainly always needed it less than the partners I’ve had, and too much of it begins to feel like a constant interruption to me. It’s hard to say which is my least favorite, because it really depends on the person.
[I did do a search, to see if there was already an 'enneagram/love language thread' and nothing turned up.]
For a recap of the types and their description, from this site:
Receiving Gifts: Presents and physical tokens of affection move you. It's the fact that someone is thinking about you enough to give you something that moves you. The objects are of secondary importance to the relationship and sentiment with which they were intended.
Quality Time: This can be expressed either through those intimate tête-à-tête discussions or via doing things together.
Acts of Service: You prefer to show your love through favors and chores and doing things for others. You feel put-upon and unappreciated when your efforts are taken for granted.
Physical Touch: You want to give and/or receive affection physically. This may or may not center on sex.
Words of Affirmation: You need to hear praise to know you are loved, and you may also prefer to express your affection verbally. Negative comments cut right to the bone. You want to hear that you're loved and how much and why.