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  1. #1
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Default Stackings: telling so/sx from sp/so

    so/sx and sp/so stackings are, far and away, the most difficult for me to differentiate, particularly when I've not engaged or plan on engaging with the subjects in any way, shape, or form.

    What've you noticed?

    thinking of you

  2. #2
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I dunno, I'm an so/sx.

    The so/sx types feel more open and easy to me, but maybe that's just because I feel like I relate to them better.

  3. #3
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    I think you have a point fidelia. I am so stacking last, but I still think of so first people as being the easy people to get along with, they kind of naturally maintain a sense of community with others.

    People who are sp first value self-preservation first, so they're often concerned with safety, physical health, and can seem withdrawn or less social.

  4. #4
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    I'm talking about observing, say, a huge overflow of people, like that one festival at the Santa Monica pier. You know, thousands, with seconds to discern one way or another. Picking up on sputtered fragments of speech, patterns and directions of subgroup flow, isolated pockets. Taking so much in scrambles the circuits.

    Clearly this is an instinctual-order-related issue, so I wonder if

    fidella, can you think of an example when you had an "either/or" to make? People with so and sx in their top two seem particularly omnivorous in their people consumption, which is why I'm not exactly sure how to ask you. Maybe there's a sp/something something/sp combo that emulates the energy of an so/sx or sx/so (from the above-described distance)? Rate ease with which you sniff out sp. And, because of time, whatever unusual circumstances, you couldn't really decide, or you made a decision only to later doubt it? Within your e-type? And beyond? Observations? Other thoughts?

    Marm, can you think of an example when you had either an sx/so or sp/sx? Same questions as above that apply.

    Or has it been pretty cut and dry?

    I'm thinking it's diagram time.

    thinking of you

  5. #5
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    so/sx is the lightest, most anxious, most self-deprecating, and best at immediately giving everyone around the feeling of belonging to the group and being personally recognized at the same time. i really like so/sx types. i think a lot of so/sp types mistype as so/sx. so/sx types have the most natural charm, i think, whereas sx/so types have the most powerful, i'm gonna go get what i want charisma. so/sx types can seem flighty or spread out too thin, and i think they at times don't really know how to take care of their needs that don't at all fit in with the group. they're much more likely to try to work on the group then to work outside of it, because their skills are better suited towards that kind of changing the whole tone/tenor of the group attitude majority vote. so/sp types by contrast are a bit sterner, more deliberate, and more focused on personal accountability, personal distance/being given appropriate space, privacy, and freedom from having too much demanded of them by others.

    sp/so is a bit different, it's more insulated but very warm, provides a softening quality to the whole ego complex, looking for a select few allies, a sense of belonging to a group but mostly relying on the freedom to be personally responsible for whatever happens, to not have to rely on others, to be free/not have to deal with them all the time and to instead be more self-reliant. kind of as a mode of protection. the sp/so types i know enjoy the presence of others, but they don't want direct engagement a lot of the time, they just want to be there together.

  6. #6
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Yeah Candyland - State's assessment sounds right but I don't have a lot of ideas about quick assessment. State is right that we have a tendancy to spread ourselves out too thin and to sometimes ignore our own needs. I find myself compelled to reach out to people, but then at some point kind of go into a slump where I don't reply to all the contacts I've started because I feel too overwhelmed. This tends to make me feel guilty, but I've learned that it goes in cycles, so when I come back, I've got more emotional energy to spread around. I don't know if this is MBTI, enneagram or stacking, but I do find that I have a compulsion when I meet new people to seek out their company until I kind of have them figured out. I don't mind recategorizing them if new info comes to light, but I like to know what I am working with and what to expect from them and where they fit into the grand scheme of things.

  7. #7
    Superwoman Red Herring's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    sp/so is a bit different, it's more insulated but very warm, provides a softening quality to the whole ego complex, looking for a select few allies, a sense of belonging to a group but mostly relying on the freedom to be personally responsible for whatever happens, to not have to rely on others, to be free/not have to deal with them all the time and to instead be more self-reliant. kind of as a mode of protection. the sp/so types i know enjoy the presence of others, but they don't want direct engagement a lot of the time, they just want to be there together.
    Sounds about right. It's a constant balance between withdrawel, the need for a lot of time alone in your head and an often strong sense of detachment on the one hand and a usually warm and affectionate communication style (well, trying to) and a desire to be as agreeable as you can when you actually do interact with people on the other hand. Limited urge for interaction, but a desire for friendly and conflict free interaction when it happens. At least that's the way I perceive it.
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  8. #8
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    [so/sx indivuduals] are much more likely to try to work on the group then to work outside of it
    before I respond, is the word in bold a then or than?

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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by candylandjoe View Post
    Marm, can you think of an example when you had either an sx/so or sp/sx? Same questions as above that apply.

    Or has it been pretty cut and dry?

    I'm thinking it's diagram time.
    What really helped me is when Brainheart posted links to Intimate Four, Self-Preservation Four, and Social Four with full-descriptions. If you're a 5, you can look at these descriptions there and they might help you decide.

    http://www.enneagramcentral.com/Enne...20Intimate.htm

    http://www.enneagramcentral.com/Enne...eservation.htm

    http://www.enneagramcentral.com/Enne...e%20Social.htm

    I thought at one point I could be sp/sx, because my sp and sx are pretty close...but I do think I have the more "intense" vibe of an sx more so than I am guarded, though I am pretty focused on self-care (i.e. if I don't take care of me, I have nothing to give anyone else.) But the truth is that I've done weird things like not even noticed I was sitting in a physically uncomfortable position while have a conversation with someone I connected with on a deep, emotional level. That was the deal breaker for me.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Retmeishka's Avatar
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    I think that if someone uses the word "You" frequently, they have a strong sexual instinct. I think that I am a sp/so, so sx is my weakest instinct. It's uncomfortable for me to use the word "you" while talking directly to someone. I feel like I am being too personal, I'm flirting or sexually harassing them. I avoid using "you" and I talk about neutral subjects instead. So you can have a clue to the strength of their sexual instinct if they use the word "you" a lot while you overhear their conversations. A sp/so might not use that word as much.

    Also I am unable to imitate other people's tone of voice and style of speaking. I would make a bad actress. A so/sx can imitate others.

    I know someone who I think might be a so/sx. She uses "you" a lot when she talks, and she also gossips about people to other people - constantly. She can imitate someone's voice perfectly - it sounds exactly like whoever she's imitating, and it's hilarious. I recall reading somewhere that people with a strong sexual instinct are good at imitation - they "merge" with the person they're imitating, become that person for a moment, feel what they're feeling, and that's why the imitation is so good. I call her a so/sx because she will turn her attention to anybody who speaks to her, no matter how much is going on, she'll drop what she's doing and listen to you and focus on you. So her "merging" isn't just for one unique person, it's for anybody.

    So a clue to guessing the so/sx might be: Are they talking ABOUT somebody? Gossiping? Talking about a person? Talking about one particular person, and maybe comparing them to another person? Talking about one person after another. But not talking about a whole group at once.

    I'm not sure what to say about glimpsing people walking by in a crowd, though. I've tried to guess at crowds and I don't think I'm very good at it. I'm not even sure of my own type. There might not be enough information if they're walking by really fast.

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