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  1. #31
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    I'm still not decided if I'm SX/SP or SP/SX. It seems to me that when I'm relaxed and confident, I'm SX first. I don't view the SP as my path to growth, so I'm going with SX/SP.

    I'm an E9, and don't view it as merging, but more about "becoming one" with the other person. I want to dissect their thoughts, and see how the gears line up and make them tick. There's a strong physical element with my romantic partners, as I want to explore how touch (even if it's just cuddling) and other senses affects those gears.

    With me, it's not so much about being inside their skin, but rather, gaining access to the instrument panel of another person (with their willing permission, I have no desire to overcome resistance to something so personal), while trusting them with mine. Their mind and body becomes one with mine as an extension to both of our beings. Like a samurai and his sword.

  2. #32
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    I'm very much favoring the mens' explanations in this thread.

    I can jibe with what Jock (ex the eerily psychotic dehumanizing element) and Udog have said.

  3. #33
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    Does merging only apply to sexual attraction or just people in general?
    My preference is to view sx not as sexual but as intimacy. I'm guessing it can happen with anyone, whether sexual attraction is there or not.
    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    attraction in general. not just to people. but activities also.
    I agree with these things. It seems to have something to do with intensity of experience. I'm not sure about all that "crawling into somebody's skin" part but I want to really know them. There is a desire for a depth and intensity of interaction.

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    It's being so fascinated by someone's mind or personality that you focus in on them in this really intense way. You just feel this deep sense of rightness about them, like someone said. This can be sexual or non-sexual.

    Also, sometimes I think two sx together can be bad. Depends on the health level of each person. Too much "merging" can lead to fights.
    These things are probably right.

    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    yeah i find this happening too. it sorta ends up where you're
    encouraging too much impracticality in one another, mostly due
    to wanting to please eachother when you're that intently focused
    on someone... that's just breeding ground for disappointment.
    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    I'm very much favoring the men's explanation in this thread.

    I can jibe with what Jock (ex the eerily psychotic dehumanizing element) and Udog have said.
    I believe that someone who leads with SX wants this connection, this intimacy, this intensity of experience to a fault. That is it is unrealistic to expect it. As romantic as it sounds, it is a breeding ground for disappointment because it cannot ever be fully satisfied. It expects or wants too much.

    Oh - and I like some of what Jock said - especially the "qualities of connection" and "the manner we interact".

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  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I'm still not decided if I'm SX/SP or SP/SX. It seems to me that when I'm relaxed and confident, I'm SX first. I don't view the SP as my path to growth, so I'm going with SX/SP.

    I'm an E9, and don't view it as merging, but more about "becoming one" with the other person. I want to dissect their thoughts, and see how the gears line up and make them tick. There's a strong physical element with my romantic partners, as I want to explore how touch (even if it's just cuddling) and other senses affects those gears.

    With me, it's not so much about being inside their skin, but rather, gaining access to the instrument panel of another person (with their willing permission, I have no desire to overcome resistance to something so personal), while trusting them with mine. Their mind and body becomes one with mine as an extension to both of our beings. Like a samurai and his sword.
    I think that the difference between SX types and SP types is pretty clear...an SP first person would tend to be a bit...taken aback...by SX intensity. I'm not saying they wouldn't like it, but it may surprise them or something at first. I sometimes wonder if SX/SPs have some bizarre desire to connect with SP/SX.

    I think I do.

    SX first types also tend to have "bigger" personalities I think, and can seem a little more threatening even.

  5. #35
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    My INTJ is sp-sx I think. He tends to be aloof and distant when you first meet him. Keeps to himself and observes. Makes sure that he has everything he needs as well, whatever that may be. Once you get to know him, he warms up a bit (he sucks at so, though). If he genuinly likes you, he's suddenly all over you
    He goes from 0-100 without giving any warning. He either connects fully or doesn't connect at all. He also doesn't have that yearning to connect with every interesting person he meets, unless they pass severe scrutiny, and he doesn't need many people to connect to, in order to feel fulfilled (in fact, I tend to overload him ). And marm, you're right. I get people telling me they're scared of me and they'd notice me the second I walked through the door. He flies under the radar and attacks from behind the scenes
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  6. #36
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Does merging only apply to sexual attraction or just people in general?
    I dont see how you could seprate the two (except if you like animals in the sexual way, brrr)

    How do Sx know when they merge with someone?
    It's when a week later the one your merged with tells you she's pregnant . no really I do not understand the question, why should I not know ?

    What does it feel like to merge with someone?
    It's of course the most beautiful thing in the world but my experiences are noones business

    How often does that usually happen?
    In spring quite often but it cant happen often enough

    EDIT: Also, what is your instinctual variant?
    öööhm, I dont thing that's anyone business aswell


    I wonder if Sx first would more likely to experience this merging of people than Sx second.

    nah they need to have sex aswell, otherwise they'ld already have died out
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  7. #37
    Senior Member Goosebump's Avatar
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    Hmm, I'm thinking I'm sp/sx. I like intensity but I don't think I crave for it that much from people. From solitary activities, yes. From people, not as much. I'd like to have an interesting conversation. But as marmalade.sunrise said, when thing gets too intense, I can be taken aback at how sudden it is, if I don't know the person that well. I feel nervous when this happens, not because of the person, but because I don't know how to respond back to properly show that I acknowledge their intensity.
    In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher.

    9w8 so/sx/sp

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  8. #38
    Senior Member Goosebump's Avatar
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    Needs more responses from sensors.
    In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher.

    9w8 so/sx/sp

    --Deviantart--

  9. #39
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    It applies to attraction, period -- sexual or not.



    For me, I get a deep, intense charge that often strikes me as soon as I start relating to them. It's a huge sense of rightness, of immersion, of intuitive connection, of jus being able to say anything and be completely understood, and understanding them. Like a spiral circle of energy flying around and around and around from me to them and back to me, continuously running full-tilt.

    I don't do drugs, but I'm sure it would feel similar to a persistent ecstatic/transcendent rush. And I long to keep talking to them / being with them. It's like you're dropping into each other, if that makes sense.



    Sort of what I said above. You're "in the zone" with them and vice versa. Just totally in sync.



    Not very.

    There's a lot of people I can connect with and enjoy and feel basically understood by, but who I can't say I'm merging with and who I've have an immediate jolt of connection with.
    I don't know if I can relate to this 100%... I want to feel a deep connection, and have in my more youthful, naive years... however, I find these connections rare or nonexistant now. I'm definitely an SX/SP... the dual nature of SX/SP described me perfectly when I was in a long term relationship. The constant desire to connect, merge, give my entire self and vice versa, yet the constant desire to be independent. Though I find connecting with another nonexistant, I'd say I'm still on a lookout for people I might be able to feel a strong pull towards.

    Quote Originally Posted by Goosebump View Post
    I'm not sure if this topic has been made before but I'm testing out my luck anyway. :p

    I can grasp the concept of merging with nature, music, career, idea, etc. but I don't really understand how exactly one merges with another. I'm trying to figure out whether I'm sx/sp or sp/sx. I'm very sure I'm one of the two but I don't really relate to the concept of merging with another person. I mean, I love to have a deep and interesting conversation with a person to know more about them, but I don't think I've ever felt like I'm "one" with them. And for the record, I've never been in love or a relationship so I wonder if that has to do with anything.



    So, my questions are


    Does merging only apply to sexual attraction or just people in general?

    How do Sx know when they merge with someone?

    What does it feel like to merge with someone?

    How often does that usually happen?

    EDIT: Also, what is your instinctual variant?

    I wonder if Sx first would more likely to experience this merging of people than Sx second.
    People in general... however, it would be strongest with a lover of course. It used to be more common for me to want to merge with another when I was younger... less common these days. I think I have more walls up than I once did.



    Quote Originally Posted by Goosebump View Post
    Hmm, I'm thinking I'm sp/sx. I like intensity but I don't think I crave for it that much from people. From solitary activities, yes. From people, not as much. I'd like to have an interesting conversation. But as marmalade.sunrise said, when thing gets too intense, I can be taken aback at how sudden it is, if I don't know the person that well. I feel nervous when this happens, not because of the person, but because I don't know how to respond back to properly show that I acknowledge their intensity.
    Hmm... this would be hard to decipher from... like I said, I'm sx/sp, and as I've gotten older and put more walls up between me and others, I prefer to find intensity from any experience. I believe this is characteristic of sx's: the need to find intense experiences... be it connecting to music in the same merging type an sx does with other people. It's just that need to feel passionately connected and stirred. My desire to go on a walk is, not simply for the exercise or fresh air, but in hopes of being inspired or to help me connect to self or with the world at large. (but this could also be due to the fact that i'm an sx/sp variant...) Also, if someone comes at me with full intensity when I'm not ready, I'll be thrown off as well. No one wants someone to merge with them unless consent is given to do so... real connection. Haha.

    I don't want cheap experiences in life, but real and intense experiences. And I think this will show in my taste of movies and music as well. Unless a friend picks it out, it's unlikely I'd put on a comedy or action flick. I prefer dramas, adventures, anything with meaning or a story that has intense emotions. I want to cry and feel chills, and want to be able to use that experience to relate to. Make sense?
    Last edited by IndyGhost; 01-09-2011 at 06:10 PM.
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    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
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  10. #40
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Another way of looking at this is, do you find yourself in a push-pull situation with people? This can potentially be ascribed to sx wanting connection but sp pulling back when it feels threatened which includes feeling overwhelmed.

    As the instincts relate to the balance of enneagram theory, your enneagram type and wing will have a lot of impact on how you handle or participate in people-related interactions.

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