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  1. #21
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Also, sometimes I think two sx together can be bad. Depends on the health level of each person. Too much "merging" can lead to fights.
    As well as losing a sense of self, + too much absorption in each other to have other relationships.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #22
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Gee, you are SO literal.
    Crawling inside someone's skin for real sounds about as exciting as climbing inside a gutted tauntaun.
    Um, wow, I just used this analogy a few days ago. I was referring to merging with someone else.

    Here's something for both the sx and sp firsters:
    Yes, it's a tauntaun sleeping bag. (I can't remember who told me about this but if you are a fellow TypeC member, consider yourself attributed.)
    Last edited by violaine; 01-07-2011 at 05:22 PM.

  3. #23
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    As well as losing a sense of self, + too much absorption in each other to have other relationships.
    yeah i find this happening too. it sorta ends up where you're
    encouraging too much impracticality in one another, mostly due
    to wanting to please eachother when you're that intently focused
    on someone... that's just breeding ground for disappointment.

    and sometimes only 'cruel to be kind' works but risks more
    misunderstanding. hahhaha. need to know when to take
    a break and centre self again.

    so fun though.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  4. #24
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    It's an intense feeling of identification, of coming home, of walls crashing down as they're no longer necessary, the other person is already inside. It's feeling a relief at not *having* to constantly being on your guard and knowing you're safe, knowing someone understands who you are and that who you are is just fine with them, and reciprocating that feeling in every way possible. It's something that you recognize as potential in certain people, who vibe out a certain aura, or who you have a certain connection with, and something you yearn for with every fiber of your being, but can hurt like a *** if it's rejected, hence the walls are necessary.It leaves you wanting to be around them and knowing everything about them, picking their brains on *everything* and soaking up their presence. This is the most extreme form of it.

    Softer forms happen when you're talking to someone and you find out you've got more in common than you thought, and you relate to them, even find yourself going: 'yes, EXACTLY!' when they say something, coz your perspectives on life overlap. It creates a harmony between two people and a bond which makes you feel safe, special and happy, if only for a while.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    ...all this talk of being inside of someone... I don't relate to that at all.
    Are you ladies sure this isn't just penis envy you're feeling?


  6. #26
    Ginkgo
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    "Projection means that we imagine that our own virtues and vices and attitudes are embodied in other people. We see in other people what is in ourself. This psychological stratagem is particularly noticeable with regard to our vices. We try to escape from our faults by denying them; we see them only as aspects of other people – it is always other people that are the source of conflict.

    Introjection is the complementary process. We emulate the virtues (and vices) in the people that we admire. We incorporate into ourself the attitudes of people that are significant to us. Our own idealised image of ourself can also act as a source for introjection: we can use such an image as an object from which we can introject virtues that we need. It is through introjection that a child absorbs the values of transference."
    . . .

    In relationships. . .
    "The person requires others in order to experience the desires and emotions that satisfy or disappoint him or her. Since the person has little awareness of themself, he or she needs other people to act as a ‘mirror’ in which he or she can ‘see’ or feel themself play their drama of life. Projection and introjection enable the person to be both player and audience. In these stratagems, the social person focuses more on projection and the individual person more on introjection. Projection and introjection are the fundamental basis of all relationships. The reason for this is:

    Projection and introjection are the means of handling values."
    . . .



    "Projection and introjection cease when equanimity is attained. Equanimity means the cessation of making value judgements. When we cease to make value judgements, then there is no longer any need to use the mechanisms of projection and introjection. However, equanimity is extremely difficult to attain. The most effective way of stopping projection and introjection, at least temporarily, is to step outside of all value systems. The traditional Buddhist method of doing this is to practise mindfulness. Mindfulness switches perception into neutral mode, so that no values are projected or introjected. The standard way of formulating mindfulness in a concise manner is :

    in the seeing, only the seen,
    in the hearing, only the heard,
    in the touching, only the touch,
    in the smelling, only the smell,
    in the tasting, only the taste.


    Hence no evaluation is made of sensory impressions. One day, on the bus coming home from work, I managed quite easily to refrain from thinking, and just observed; holding my mind still, but remaining aware. Without the mind cogitating, nothing is projected or introjected, and awareness is neutral. The absence of value systems means that I do not make any judgements. This state of mind is the basis of equanimity."


    http://discover-your-mind.co.uk/1c-p...trojection.htm

  7. #27
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    I've written about this before:

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=1#post1221447

    Starts there and sort of continues, under NF barrage. These are the important bits:

    For me, my sx nature manifests itself as the selfish desire to know the minds of others. To peel their minds apart and get inside, and to become part of their thoughts. But I'm rather selfish, as I'll do this and give the impression that maybe I'm here to stay forever but that's not guarantee. I'll leave once I'm done with you and I won't feel bad about it if you move out of my life. I also tend to be rather transparent with regards to details about my life or personality simply because such things are meaningless to me and I am not protective of them. I don't have to maintain some kind of distance to be "safe" from people. While I can be hurt, my response to pain is to simply sever the connection and move elsewhere, which I haven't had and wouldn't have a problem doing.
    Again, this is just for me, but I'm attuned to the qualities of the connection I have with people, not that specific person. I don't value the person per se, I value the connection. And that connection can typically come from anyone. Is that sx? The desire for the connection might be, but perhaps the dehumanizing part is something else.
    When I say attuned to the qualities of the connection, I mean that I desire a certain type of information exchange, expression, and energy from the other person. I'm not really interested in the details of the person so much as I am interested in the manner we interact. I actually think we're describing the same thing here, but with T and F flavors. You emphasize the personal qualities, I do not.



  8. #28
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Interesting. I don't feel a need to stay away from people either to "feel" safe, but along with that I don't feel the need to remove hurt either. I continue to feel it, even if the connection is broken, but I just accept it, open myself to it, and continue. To try to kill hurt to me would deaden my senses.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Are you ladies sure this isn't just penis envy you're feeling?
    Does your penis want another penis inside of it at the same time?

    (If not, then no... we're probably not, thnx.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Does your penis want another penis inside of it at the same time?

  10. #30
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    It sounds intriguing.

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