if i don't get a serious connection going, after a few days, i start brooding hard. i need to write to curb the overflow. but that doesn't work, you still need prompts, you still need connection with something, purpose, something someone would read, something valuable to others. just this need to be validated, recognized, merged with someone, sharing values, sharing worldviews, sharing stories, sharing truths and falsities.
maybe the lack of so makes us in even greater need than sx/so. they can push forward, make something happen, spread their energies into a more diffuse cloud of themselves. with me i can either dissolve everything (to free myself from desire), or i overidentify with desire, with the desire to reach out, to jostle and be jostled, to need someone else to wake up myself and them, that waking up requires the both of us.
what is the answer to this difficult question/problem? is this pure and simple intimacy addiction? (and why can intimacy save everyone from themselves, and make me so much more open to others? why is the possibility of intimacy the only reason for talking, the only thing worth getting up for?) --> (is it this huge need to be seen not with others but apart from them, to be distinct, to be validated not for your commonality but for your difference? is it pure competition and objectification of contents?)
sx/sps, how do you feel about intimacy? what are your major conflicts? how have you learned to manage yourself and your overidentification with desire better?