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  1. #1
    :) INFtha14's Avatar
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    Talking The SP/SX push pull in relationships?

    I thought I'd take this a step further in this direction. It's inspired by the push pull SP SX thread.

    I'm curious how we could counteract this tendency because I definitely notice a trend in even the idea of relationship. Random person will express interest of which I'll be fine with it then some thoughts creep in making me feel like I should forget the whole thing/idea (Fear/anxiety. My Etype is 6w7).

    Do other SP/SXs notice this trend especially E6s perhaps. But SP/SX in general will do. I say especially because it seems to me to be a E6 problem as well but can see how SP/SX definitely play a big part too. I'd be curious if any of you guys have harnessed this push/pull and have come out on the good side of it in terms of romantic relationships.

    Thanks in advance . Any input is greatly appreciated . Looking forward to some possibly very interesting discussions.
    What is Feeling?
    Feeling is primarily a process.....that imparts to the content a definite value in the sense of acceptance or rejection. In the same way that thinking organizes the contents of consciousness under concepts, feeling arranges them according to their value. Feeling, like thinking, is a rational function, since values in general are assigned according to the laws of reason...
    (Carl Jung, Psychological Types, Chapter XI - Definitions)

  2. #2
    Senior Member rowingineden's Avatar
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    I think we can put this into the following categories:
    Enneagram Instinctual Variants
    Enneagram Type
    MBTI Functions

    Additonal Factors:
    Asperger's traits

    So, in my sp/sx push-pull, the following things happen:
    7 headfix + strong Ne = A need to seek stimulation, often social
    sx instinctual variant + Ne + Fi + 4w5 heartfix + Asperger's = A tendency to fixate on one person and want to know them absolutely, inside and out, on a meaningful (emotional/"spiritual") level
    sp + Si + w6 = A tendency to be very protective and wary of being hurt, especially due to past experiences being hurt. I look for red flags, and when there are too many, I bolt.

    I was previously sx/so; I think my sp/sx is a reaction to/adaptation resulting from a breakup experience.
    "You get what you're given, it's all how you use it."
    Pink - "God is a DJ"

  3. #3
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    Sp/Sx/So

    I get accused of push pull all the time and I see it in myself .. I am e6w5 as well.. so the odds are not in my favor.

    At the end of the day, I value connection over disconnection. So that is all I have to work off of.

    Without you, I am only me.. and it's just not good enough. So I am learning to be responsible or learning the value of being responsible with romantic love.
    My thinking is that, If I never lose sight my responsibilities ever again, then I will realize that real self preservation comes from interdependence and connection. I will value it over solitude. Solitude can't hug me and make me breakfast. The only value in solitude is it's consistency. death is also consistent and I will have plenty of time to be dead. So in the name of life..I must learn to reject my Sp tendencies and chose to live.

  4. #4
    :) INFtha14's Avatar
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by rowingineden View Post
    I think we can put this into the following categories:
    Enneagram Instinctual Variants
    Enneagram Type
    MBTI Functions

    Additonal Factors:
    Asperger's traits

    So, in my sp/sx push-pull, the following things happen:
    7 headfix + strong Ne = A need to seek stimulation, often social
    sx instinctual variant + Ne + Fi + 4w5 heartfix + Asperger's = A tendency to fixate on one person and want to know them absolutely, inside and out, on a meaningful (emotional/"spiritual") level
    sp + Si + w6 = A tendency to be very protective and wary of being hurt, especially due to past experiences being hurt. I look for red flags, and when there are too many, I bolt.

    I was previously sx/so; I think my sp/sx is a reaction to/adaptation resulting from a breakup experience.
    Exactly on the red flags thing. I sometimes think maybe I bolt to much.

    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    Sp/Sx/So

    I get accused of push pull all the time and I see it in myself .. I am e6w5 as well.. so the odds are not in my favor.

    At the end of the day, I value connection over disconnection. So that is all I have to work off of.

    Without you, I am only me.. and it's just not good enough. So I am learning to be responsible or learning the value of being responsible with romantic love.
    My thinking is that, If I never lose sight my responsibilities ever again, then I will realize that real self preservation comes from interdependence and connection. I will not value it over solitude. Solitude can't hug me and make me breakfast. The only value in solitude is it's consistency. death is also consistent and I will have plenty of time to be dead. So in the name of life..I must learn to reject my Sp tendencies and chose to live.
    Right on . I think that's a wonderful statement. Thanks for sharing. I too am at that place where it's like "have plenty time to be dead" and it scared me so I'd like to live instead of let the fears take over. I notice as a SP it's hard to let loose sometimes like let all your colors show like dancing with some ooph/feeling it. I'm learning to let loose alittle my SP wall.

    What is Feeling?
    Feeling is primarily a process.....that imparts to the content a definite value in the sense of acceptance or rejection. In the same way that thinking organizes the contents of consciousness under concepts, feeling arranges them according to their value. Feeling, like thinking, is a rational function, since values in general are assigned according to the laws of reason...
    (Carl Jung, Psychological Types, Chapter XI - Definitions)

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