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  1. #1
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    Default Is it possible to fluctuate between so/sx and sp/sx

    I'm a huge loner daydreamer by choice, I'm accommodating when people are around me, and I like it, but I always dread going out of the house to places. I'm not really that good at remembering practical stuff, I procrastinate with that because it feels quite mundane. I find some people are a lot more concerned with food than me. I'm a very picky person with food, but even so, I see it as just a source of energy, nothing more. Place in society doesn't matter to me either, if a person's got nice qualities then I couldn't care less if society disapproves. This doesn't seem to fit completely with either soc/sx or sp/sx...so can you be both? What do you think?

  2. #2
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    How would sp doms describe themselves please? Same with so doms, I've read the descriptions but anecdotes tend to resonate a lot more

  3. #3
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FalseHeartDothKnow View Post
    I'm a huge loner daydreamer by choice, I'm accommodating when people are around me, and I like it, but I always dread going out of the house to places. I'm not really that good at remembering practical stuff, I procrastinate with that because it feels quite mundane. I find some people are a lot more concerned with food than me. I'm a very picky person with food, but even so, I see it as just a source of energy, nothing more. Place in society doesn't matter to me either, if a person's got nice qualities then I couldn't care less if society disapproves. This doesn't seem to fit completely with either soc/sx or sp/sx...so can you be both? What do you think?
    The examples you provided aren't exactly rigidly So/Sx or Sp/Sx. Do you have any other examples?

    I am So/sp but that doesn't mean I'm not sexual or passionate. When I see a hottie hot hot, I think to myself, hmm, I'd like to break you into little pieces and eat you up. I am quite flirtatious when I want to be and of course, I want one-on-one intense, go-up-in-flames relationships. It's not that I am not Sx, it's more that my So/Sp qualities are more dominant.

    Since you're INFP, society's standards will not affect you totally, but if you're So dom, you will 'notice' and 'acknowledge' that their is a social ladder, a hierarchy, that it is important to be powerful and noticed in society. That you want to be a part of this huge group and be an important member, that one individual is not as important as society as a whole. Depending on your individual values, the viewpoint will shift a bit. I'm not saying I'd marry rich because money matters. To me, intelligence and talent matters more than money. That's my view of what's important to civilization. INFPs combine individualism with societal standards. The most important thing to me is to be a worthy, useful, important member of society, to be able to make a contribution for "my people". It's even more important than my personal relationships and my personal comforts, not by a lot though, I am still human.

    I would never ever want to live out in the middle of nowhere and be out of contact with people. I will always desire/need to be part of a group, any group that suits my passions. I don't need to be friends with everyone but even the physical proximity comforts me. I will always desire to put my effort behind a group. This doesn't mean going out of my way to organize yard sales or whatnot. Yuck. It has to be tied to my passions and ideals. I don't have Thanksgiving dinner organizing, baking cupcakes with soccer moms sort of thing desires in me.

    I am SP next which means that I need independence and self-efficiency. I hate the idea, HATE the idea of relying on someone else. The idea of marriage freaks me out because of this. It's like chopping myself in half, chopping my expectations and hopes in half to give to another person, a totally separate person. It is important for me to feel secure, competent, able, and strong. This is why Sx is last for me - the idea of being so close to someone else is so threatening to me.

    How's that for anecdotes. This theory of instinctual variants is so accurate it freaks me out.
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  4. #4
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Have you considered maybe you're sp/so or so/sp?
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  5. #5
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    Thanks for your replies guys, they're really insightful...the best thing I can think to do is this. It's gonna be loooong guys, cause I'm not sure what kind of information you'll need here. Sorry in advance.

    SP

    I could probably live in my very own protective bubble, only letting those I'm close to in. Material security matters to me, I want to be comfortable, and by this I mean come home to a warm, furnished home, knowing I can afford to pay all my bills, and maybe have a little left over for a rainy day, I like surprising people with gifts. Oh, and this might seem sad, but I would always need my laptop in case I get bored.
    After that, I can't say I care much for my physical needs, I just deal with them as and when. What puts me off saying I have SP is that my ISFJ sister who is definitely a 2 with SP and my SP ISTJ 6 and 9 grandparents are ALWAYS offering food and drink to people, and kind of pushing it on you, and I don't really have a thing about food, I just eat it, you want my food, I'll offer, take it, you don't... fair enough .

    SO

    I have a desire to be liked, my biggest complex and mission in life is to eradicate selfishness. However, I have no desire to join any groups, regardless of what my passions are, because I never give them as much time as I should, and I always become sidetracked by some project or other, which quickly becomes more important. This doesn't mean I do not act warmly to everyone I meet, take an interest in their lives, and have friends. I really dislike the way society discriminates so readily against people it decides, and then uses the media to back itself up. For this reason I value the beauty of each individual far more than anything society has to say.

    SX

    I become deeply involved in everything I do, I always want to know more. I used to be obsessed with things when I was younger, but as an adult, that faded. I value depth and intensity in relationships, but I get more intensity from music. There is rather more exploration in my head than in real life actually, because in real life if it gets too intense I'll pull back. I'm much more laid back than the sx doms I know, who seem to have a fiery, sullen magnetism. I am not aggressive, possessive or jealous, neither with friends, lovers nor family members and I don't want those people to be around me all of the time, because that means none of us would be able to have personal time.
    Having said that I would definitely willingly give my life for those closest to me, whose needs I wish to serve before my own. I'd say I want to be the perfect wife, housewife, mother, professional, friend etc, but if I think if the expectations weren't at least partially fantasy I'd get depressed with the imperfections, I don't actually have any expectations of what people should be at all.

  6. #6
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    ^ All of that is related to being INFP. I can't tell anything contradictory that would pinpoint your variants.

    If I had to guess, I'd say Sp dom. I sense a SP vibe from you in what you chose to share and how you expressed yourself.

    Have you been to this site?
    Enneagram Instinctual Subtypes

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    Thanks so much for bearing with me, you're wonderful people. that rant was boring, and far too self indulgent. This is because I'm not sure what sort of anecdotes would help. SP seems a little....well homey, warm, comforting, materialistic, which well, I can't really relate that too well , but having said that I am pretty self contained, and I get lost in my own world.

    My main aim is to give the people around me as full a life as possible, make them happy and content if that helps.

  8. #8
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I'm really getting an sp/so vibe from you. What do you think of these descriptions?

    Type Stackings - the enneagram ...info from the underground

    On the lefthand side there are stacking + type specific ones.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  9. #9
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    Thanks, looking at those descriptions sp/sx or sx/sp seem to fit well

    I've put across an So/Sx vibe here before and an Sp/sx vibe here before, but I've noticed that kind of depends on what I chose to play down cause I'm tied on Sp and So in tests, with Sx top. I vent and soul-search on here ALOT, so you'll get more Sp I guess.

    The Sp/So vibe might be because I basically just spewed out everything I could think of about my outer life,
    without really mentioning joining groups or intimate relations, but it seems too passionless (not in awful way). I don't really wanna put a lot of the sx intimate stuff on here, as 1. My So is on here too and it might annoy him... 2. There is poetic inner landscape stuff, which I kind of thought was more indulgent than relevant.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by FalseHeartDothKnow View Post
    I'm a huge loner daydreamer by choice, I'm accommodating when people are around me, and I like it, but I always dread going out of the house to places. I'm not really that good at remembering practical stuff, I procrastinate with that because it feels quite mundane. I find some people are a lot more concerned with food than me. I'm a very picky person with food, but even so, I see it as just a source of energy, nothing more. Place in society doesn't matter to me either, if a person's got nice qualities then I couldn't care less if society disapproves. This doesn't seem to fit completely with either soc/sx or sp/sx...so can you be both? What do you think?
    No. You can't be both. And if so/sp are equally dominant, sx is practically nonexistent in its influence. However, an so looking for a mate is said to "move" to sp, behaviourly speaking, temporarily.

    Bear in mind that the dominant instinct is the one where you are *weakest* where you have least control - hence it dominates you.

    I wouldn't stress too much about finding yourself a label if one doesn't reach out and grab you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

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