I've always noticed this push-pull energy in myself. Sometimes there are those few people I would like to connect deeply with and I crave being with them. It's strong, intense, and 'devouring'. I find myself bordering on obsession and I actively seek all sorts of contact with them. However, once I make progress -- once a new level of intimacy has been reached, I get scared. I pull myself back, I try to run, usually without the person knowing. But after I do that, the cycle starts again and I long for that deep connection once more.
I find this extremely frustrating and I really hate myself for it. It's like I can't decide what I want. At first I thought it was a 4w5 thing -- longing for emotion intensity but afraid of being overwhelmed, but then I was thinking that this might be an sp/sx characteristic.
So, sp/sx's, can you relate at all? Most of the time I keep people at a distance, but when I start letting someone in, I go through endless loops of pull and push. At least I feel closer to them after each loop, though -- I just hope it won't be like this forever
Of course, opinions from other types will be greatly appreciated too!