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  1. #1
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Default healthy sp/so stress response

    what are the best ways you cope with stress?

    do you prefer vigorous or more gentle, restorative exercise? what about meditation?

    do you rely too much on creature comforts, get slothy, and overeat when you are overstressed? do you communicate with others about your anxieties and feelings or is that unhelpful?

    how do you slow down negative thoughts? how do you motivate yourself if you working on/in a consistently demoralizing project/work environment?

    how do you respond to situations in which your self-image/esteem are threatened or in jeopardy of being threatened? or super competitive, stressful situations?

  2. #2
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    what are the best ways you cope with stress?

    do you prefer vigorous or more gentle, restorative exercise? what about meditation?
    Sometimes going for a run helps. I'm not a huge runner, but have learned that if I'm really stewing over something and going in circles in my head, that it's in my best interest to force myself out to do something active, if at the very least to get myself temporarily distracted from thinking anymore about it. Hiking - anything outdoors - is a total win, even if it's a short-term solution.

    But if I'm unable to force myself to do that, then I'll go the opposite route and start feeling physically ill, lay on the couch with a heated pillow around my neck, and just be consumed with thoughts/feelings.

    do you rely too much on creature comforts, get slothy, and overeat when you are overstressed?
    I think I've always been too disciplined/self-monitoring to allow myself to go the route of overindulgence (eating, spending, drinking, etc.. if anything I *don't* allow myself to do any of that because I know it will just be a product of the stress). But like I said above, I might just lie down on the couch feeling ill, and watch a movie or tv or something. So I suppose for myself I'd go more the sloth/ hibernation/withdrawal route. It's been less of an issue when, in the past, I've been living with someone rather than living alone. Living alone = more prone to isolate myself. Living with someone else = can be pulled out to do stuff and relieve the inner stress.

    do you communicate with others about your anxieties and feelings or is that unhelpful?
    When really stressed/upset I tend not to want to talk to anyone, and tied to that, when stressed, I tend to find people highly irritating. My natural instinct is total withdrawal, and then becoming consumed inwardly with negative thoughts/feelings, which is why like I said above it was problematic in the past when I lived alone and hadn't yet learned how to cope well with stress. In recent years though I have tried to become more open and talk through some of my feelings with certain people - a good release valve. I've learned over time that it's probably the healthier, better route than withdrawal, and that it can in fact reduce the stress I'm feeling. If I can release it out, it's no longer totally trapped within me and it's like I release a bit of a burden.

    how do you slow down negative thoughts?
    It has been a work in progress. It does help if I get out of my head and actually interact with people and release some of it. Either through activity/exercise or sharing a bit. With the theme of this thread, basically throwing out the 'sp' primary, I think. That's the solution.

    how do you motivate yourself if you working on/in a consistently demoralizing project/work environment?
    Not sure how to answer this. If it is a consistently demoralizing work environment, I need to find a way to extricate myself from it - because it's not the place for me if it's going to continue to be like that for the long run. If I know it's not the place for me, then it'll be hard to motivate myself while there, in the short run before I've figured out something else to do. My primary objective will be to try to find a way out -- another work environment/job. If it's just a demoralizing project, I suppose I try to look at the big picture and try to inject some humor in the situation. i.e. there will be an end to it, so might as well just rejoice in the stupidity of it and whatever group dynamics are a part of it. I dunno.

    how do you respond to situations in which your self-image/esteem are threatened or in jeopardy of being threatened?
    Probably withdrawal. Not wanting to interact anymore.

    or super competitive, stressful situations?
    Hmm.. I tend to be calm outwardly in stressful situations, even if I'm frazzled inwardly. Try to be sensible and rational, remove the emotional context.

    Super competitive situations? Probably withdraw - don't want to play the game. Let someone else play it, as it's not worth my effort and I typically don't care. I do my part, and I do it to the best of my ability, and I'm all about teamwork and being diplomatic, but when it comes to pushing myself forward or asserting myself over others, I usually could care less. I'm not out to prove myself to anyone. If I need to 'prove' myself in some way, I don't think I'm doing things right -- i.e. my day to day actions/work should speak for itself and I don't need to try to display my wares over those of someone else. And, I tend not to value the opinion of those who I'd have to 'compete' against anyway, or those who would tend to be the ones who need to see that sort of demonstration of competition for their assessment of you to be more favorable.

    ------------

    Although none of this is to say that any of the above is a 'healthy' stress response. lol.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  3. #3
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I will not be as thorough as casca was... sorry

    going hiking alone is always high on my list of good responses to stress... the combination of moving and not being annoyed by other people is amazingly relaxing to me

    Other options include cooking like a crazy woman or sitting as far from everyone else as possible and reading a book... I'm kind of antisocial when stressed
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #4
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    After a long, hard run, I usually feel a similar calm one might feel in an isolated marsh with the birds tweeting. Running for relaxation seems counterintuitive at first, because I'd much rather stretch/do yoga out in the middle of some emptiness, but a mix of the two is effective.

    I can overeat if the stress is piled on, sure. I can also revert to my inner Howard Hughes, scrubbing chipmunk paws while losing any sense of time. I've always thought I'm extremely compulsive, though in such a restrained manner that it can feel like driving with the breaks on. Pacing around. Sharing feelings is a no-no; I tend to retreat 100%, get away from everyone and everything, flap the lid to my head wide open so the wind can sweep the old bird nests out.

    Negative thoughts come to me in one speed: slowly, but heavily. They don't vary in depth either. If I'm in a muddle of dumpy moods, somewhere in the stream that is my inner monologue, I chuck a rock, if only to remind myself that--first and foremost--at least I'm still alive. I tend to completely retract from overwhelming work situations, whether people are reacting irrationally emotional or expecting unnecessary perfection, or if my perceptions aren't being seen as valid, as coming from a fellow human. The only thing to do is find some kind of solo project, go pee on a wall, whatever.

    The same answer generally applies to your last question. I prefer to go it alone regardless of the situation, work-related or otherwise - but by keeping people away for the most part, I'm able to more freely judge my actions by my own standards, and, thus, am free to follow my nose, my creative inclinations/desires.

    thinking of you

  5. #5
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    I'm not positive whether I'm sp/sx or sp/so, so, fwiw:

    What are the best ways you cope with stress? Sleep. Or at least lie down. Be very still.

    Do you prefer vigorous or more gentle, restorative exercise? what about meditation?
    Yoga, if anything. Mostly I just need quiet.

    Do you rely too much on creature comforts, get slothy, and overeat when you are overstressed?
    Never slothy, but I definitely rely upon creature comforts and comfort food. That's what they're there for.

    Do you communicate with others about your anxieties and feelings or is that unhelpful?
    It's unhelpful. The less talking the better. Honestly, the best thing someone else can do for me is rub me.

    How do you slow down negative thoughts? how do you motivate yourself if you working on/in a consistently demoralizing project/work environment?
    Music. And see below -- realizing that it will pass, even if it takes years, it will pass.

    how do you respond to situations in which your self-image/esteem are threatened or in jeopardy of being threatened? or super competitive, stressful situations?
    I work very hard to stay out of competitive situations, but if I have to, I mentally remove myself from everyone else and focus on doing my absolute best. To the extent I can do my best, I am happy with my results, whatever they are. Also I remind myself that everything is temporary and no matter how bad it is, it will be over soon enough, and all I have to do is endure.

  6. #6
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    what are the best ways you cope with stress?
    Recognising it is the first step and not always a given, other than that the best stress release is either exercise as others have mentioned or going out with good friends for a few drinks and laughs. Exercise is the most effective long term and has a strong positive effect on my mood, so long as it's a hard workout.

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    do you prefer vigorous or more gentle, restorative exercise? what about meditation?
    Vigorous, normally, however yoga/tai chi/Pilates style classes with a meditation component at the end can be hella relaxing for me.

    Meditation on my own does nothing for me, I like and crave external stimulus in order to feel rejuvenated.

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    do you rely too much on creature comforts, get slothy, and overeat when you are overstressed?
    If I'm in avoidance mode (often am under too much stress) then those kind of things can surface and I can be the ultimate unproduction machine. I do little that I don't enjoy. I don't tend to overeat as much as not eat healthy, or just not eat (which of course compounds the stress issue), I will also be impulsive in many other areas of over indulgence, such as spending.

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    do you communicate with others about your anxieties and feelings or is that unhelpful?
    Don't communicate much unless the topic happens to come up, as in is raised by the other person, for me it is helpful to talk about it though as it makes me own the issues and helps hold me accountable, sharing issues with others will lead to some kind of resolution that I want to take on to change the situation, if someone else is aware of the changes I wish to make I'll be more inclined to stick to them. Plus I understand my thoughts better if I verbalise them *points to extroversion*.

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    how do you slow down negative thoughts? how do you motivate yourself if you working on/in a consistently demoralizing project/work environment?
    Negative thoughts aren't so much of an issue for me, motivation however is a major issue, if I don't enjoy doing something and it absolutely positively doesn't have to be done because someone else is checking my progress and I'll end up in teh shit, I tend to drift. I motivate myself by going right back to the start of your questions and changing bad habits, I exercise, eat healthy, make commitments to change areas that aren't working, or face issues I've been avoiding.

    If however the situation is the bigger issue, as opposed to me and my motivation, and I can't see a way to change that, then it's time to move to another challenge. Jobs should not come before health.

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    how do you respond to situations in which your self-image/esteem are threatened or in jeopardy of being threatened?
    With self image being threatened, iunno, I tend not to care about it, integrity being questioned will get my back up depending on the situation but my answer is to prove that the other person is mistaken in their claim, I tend to react quite positively and productively to that as I won't tolerate being questioned without something valid to back it up.

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    or super competitive, stressful situations?
    Competitive, I thrive under. Stress/pressure motivates me (to a limit). Type plays a bigger role than instincts here

  7. #7
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    what are the best ways you cope with stress?
    Write music, poetry, artwork, I take the negative energy and construct something beautiful out of it.

    do you prefer vigorous or more gentle, restorative exercise? what about meditation?
    Meditation is almost impossible without gentle music in the background to shut my brain off. I like to do vigorous exercise to physically manifest my emotions, so I tend to go for a walk, or do toning exercises.

    do you rely too much on creature comforts, get slothy, and overeat when you are overstressed?
    Actually, I struggle to eat whenever I'm overstressed. My stomach gets that queasy, butterfly feeling, and I can't even focus on food, rather I'm more focused on how I'm feeling emotionally.

    do you communicate with others about your anxieties and feelings or is that unhelpful?
    Depends on who it is. Sometimes I find discussing these matters with a trusted friend is more helpful for me, at least to vent the stuff, rather than bottle it up. More often than not, I end up thinking about the anxiety way too much, and go around in circles. I tend to keep it to myself until I can't take it anymore, lol.

    how do you slow down negative thoughts?
    Analyze the hell out of them. I don't shut them away, I ride them until they pass over.

    how do you motivate yourself if you working on/in a consistently demoralizing project/work environment?
    Hard to say how I do it, perhaps persistence to get past the unpleasant feelings in hopes for something better in the end.

    how do you respond to situations in which your self-image/esteem are threatened or in jeopardy of being threatened?
    I'd hate to admit it, but I tend to flip out, state to the accusing party that "This isn't me! I never said this!" I get very defensive. Inside my head is a looming storm cloud with bursts of lightning. If someone teases me, or talks down to me, I feel quite embarrassed and shameful, and then I start thinking "something's wrong with me!"

    or super competitive, stressful situations?
    Competitive situations... I stand up for myself, state how I stand out. This is if I am in a situation where I have to prove myself worthy. Other times, I just hope for the best outcome if it's a contest. If I don't win, at least I did my best efforts, and I feel satisfied with being a winner in my perspective. Although, I do feel a bit jealous that I didn't win anything.
    Last edited by CuriousFeeling; 07-13-2010 at 11:10 AM.
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  8. #8
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    I don't consider myself a healthy sp/so.

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    what are the best ways you cope with stress?
    Listening to music. Just zoning out and letting the music run through me. Staring at a wall with teh brainz doing the dirty work for hours and hours. Walking around.

    do you prefer vigorous or more gentle, restorative exercise? what about meditation?
    Vigorous. I don't like to run but I can totally walk for hours with the wind in my hair.

    Haven't tried meditation. I do yoga but I can't stop teh brainz for one second. Major distraction. Must do something about it.

    do you rely too much on creature comforts, get slothy, and overeat when you are overstressed?
    Unfortunately, yes. I completely cocoon and try to withdraw from everything and everybody. Having had an eating disorder for years in the past, when I'm overstressed, I always fall back on food and either get completely out of control or try to maintain control at all cost.

    do you communicate with others about your anxieties and feelings or is that unhelpful?
    Never developed the habit of talking to people about my stuff. So, I consider it unhelpful, only adding to anxiety because by talking to people I also have to worry about making them feel uncomfortable and whatnot. Pointless stress. But if I happen to crack and start talking with somebody, I can go on and on, usually forgetting that they're even there, so it would still be like I'm in my head alone in the analysis-paralysis mode. It might be helpful, since I still organize the stuff in my head. But it doesn't help to let people know what's going on in my head, so I usually regret it afterwards.

    how do you slow down negative thoughts?
    I don't slow them down. Probably not the healthiest way to approach things. I let the negativity run through me for as long as it takes to dissolve (sometimes it's days). After that it's like nothing ever happened and I keep wondering why I even worried about stuff because things are really so simple and clear.

    how do you motivate yourself if you working on/in a consistently demoralizing project/work environment?
    Usually I just try to detach myself from all the drama and try to get things done as quickly as possible. Pound forward no matter what. And then I run and hide.

    how do you respond to situations in which your self-image/esteem are threatened or in jeopardy of being threatened? or super competitive, stressful situations?
    Freak out, run, hide and analyze. Then confront things and move on, eventually. There are no guarantees that the end result is successful. This might take a very long time.

  9. #9
    Senior Member BlueGray's Avatar
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    I don't know if I'm Sp/So or So/Sp. What's most standard for me is probably to meditate and go walking. Then do some activity alone such as reading. Once I'm starting to feel better some fun group activity will typically help to completely relax.

    The meditating is pretty much active throughout. It's something i just picked up and works amazingly once you have it down. It's basically just willing yourself to relax and calm down. I don't think some one would be able to learn it quickly as it requires just letting go and is somewhat similar to a leap of faith.
    Ne > Ti > Si >> Te > Se >> Fe > Fi > Ni
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  10. #10
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    Never developed the habit of talking to people about my stuff. So, I consider it unhelpful, only adding to anxiety because by talking to people I also have to worry about making them feel uncomfortable and whatnot. Pointless stress. But if I happen to crack and start talking with somebody, I can go on and on, usually forgetting that they're even there, so it would still be like I'm in my head alone in the analysis-paralysis mode. It might be helpful, since I still organize the stuff in my head. But it doesn't help to let people know what's going on in my head, so I usually regret it afterwards.
    Can relate to that a fair bit, there's a certain point, when I haven't got my thoughts clear enough to know how I feel about them or can't stop an emotional reaction to the topic, where I'm exceptionally uncomfortable talking to anyone about them. If for whatever reason I do share them with someone I regret it and feel stupid for opening up. It takes baby steps to open up to someone, they have to be tested to see how they will react, as well as how I will react before I can talk about anything that I wouldn't be comfortable mentioning to the bus driver on the 860 route.

    Once I am comfortable I find I'm exceptionally aware of the other persons comfort and boredom levels as if I'm bothered by something I could prattle on forever and I hate it when people have no awareness of the other persons interest.

    You're right, it can often be more stressful to talk

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