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[sx] sx/sp types, let me save you a lot of trouble in the search for a mate

themarlins

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
117
im a male sx/sp. known this for a long time. i can read ppl quickly and figure out there stacking as well. heres my experiences


with another sx - make good girlfriends and flings, not sure if i would want to marry one. too intense, hot, overwhelming, extremely strong connections. have trouble being stable with them. too much fireworks can be a bad thing sometimes. lots of push/pull on both sides. i think theres tons of potential for true happiness here, but also lots of potential for volatility and jealousy. ive seen lots of sx types marry one another or have LTR's, but it takes two healthy balanced people. this is the type of relationship that when it's good, its fucking amazing! When it goes bad, its a train wreck. It doesnt matter what I say though. When you meet one, you end up connecting anyways and both will give it a shot regardless. Attracted to each other like magnets. i think another sx type could give me everything i want, and then some. when unhealthy, this relationship is addictive like a drug. one person can always want more and more and more until one of you gets overwhelmed. you gotta meet in the middle somewhere.



with a soc/sx - these types by far put up with my BS more than any other types. very accepting and easy to get along with. good conversationalists and non judgemental. they help bring me out of my shell and socialize. they dont mind me being soc-last (soc/sp do seem to mind). you can have a good sx connection with them, while still giving each other space. dont hold grudges as much as others. meanwhile having sx-second still gives a good connection. it isnt as intense as with a sx-first, but its still there and if you're both genuinely interested in the other, it can work out. i think these types would be the easiest to live with and have a "normal" relationship with. they usually make better friends than lovers ime. i dont know if i would ever be truly 100% satisfied with a soc/sx like i would with a sx-first. i've never pursued or WANTED a soc/sx type. usually they really like me for some reason though. i just keep them as the backup plan and settle for them if i dont have anything better going on



with a sp/sx - they are more serious, but they keep me grounded more. I think it's similar to how SJ Guardians stabilize SP Hedonists. sp/sx get shit done and remember the important things i might be reckless about. as soc-last, theyre just as non-caring about socializing as i am. they're homebodies like me too, and not always on the go. that's very comfortable to me. and unlike the other types above, you dont really have to play relationship games with them. they're extremely trustworthy and it feels like you can hold onto them and really let your guard down. their sp first might seem to get in the way at times, but you learn to appreciate it. they have enough sx to still be sexy and make a deep connection. takes a while for them to open up, but when they do you know its worth it. more marriage material than casual dating material. i could definitely see myself settling down with one. they got a hidden freak inside them too ;)


with sp/soc - you wont have to worry about this ever, because i guarantee you will never connect with one. your sx will repel them, and their cold serious attitude will bore you to death anyways.

soc/sp - dont even waste your time here. it just wont work. i dont mind them as co workers and neighbors, but never as a girlfriend. your priorities are so different. i think you can get along great with them in private, but as soon as you're in public together, you will see where the problems arise.
 

ChocolateMoose123

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2008
Messages
5,278
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
im a male sx/sp. known this for a long time. i can read ppl quickly and figure out there stacking as well. heres my experiences


with another sx - make good girlfriends and flings, not sure if i would want to marry one. too intense, hot, overwhelming, extremely strong connections. have trouble being stable with them. too much fireworks can be a bad thing sometimes. lots of push/pull on both sides. i think theres tons of potential for true happiness here, but also lots of potential for hatred and jealousy. ive seen lots of sx types marry one another or have LTR's, but it takes two healthy balanced people. this is the type of relationship that when it's good, its fucking amazing! When it goes bad, its a train wreck.

Oh man. This is unbelievably true.

with a soc/sx - these types by far put up with my BS more than any other types. very accepting and easy to get along with. good conversationalists and non judgemental. they help bring me out of my shell and socialize. they dont mind me being soc-last (soc/sp do seem to mind). you can have a good sx connection with them, while still giving each other space. dont hold grudges as much as others. meanwhile having sx 2nd still gives a good connection. it isnt as intense as with a sx1st, but its still there and if you're both genuinely interested in the other, it can work out. i think these types would be the easiest to live with and have a "normal" relationship with.



with a sp/sx - they are more serious, but they keep me grounded more. I think it's similar to how SJ Guardians stabilize SP Hedonists. sp/sx get shit done and remember the important things. as soc-last, theyre just as non-caring about socializing as i am. they're homebodies like me too, and not always on the go. they're extremely trustworthy and it feels like you can hold onto them and really let your guard down. their sp first might seem to get in the way at times, but you learn to appreciate it. they have enough sx to still be sexy and make a deep connection. takes a while for them to open up, but when they do you know its worth it. more marriage material than casual dating material. i could definitely see myself settling down with one. they got a hidden freak inside them too ;)

Yep!

with sp/soc - you wont have to worry about this ever, because i guarantee you will never connect with one. your sx will repel them, and their cold serious attitude will bore you to death anyways.

soc/sp - dont even waste your time here. it just wont work. i dont mind them as co workers and neighbors, but never as a girlfriend. your priorities are so different. i think you can get along great with them in private, but as soon as you're in public together, you will see where the problems arise.

Reading this makes me think I'm always attracted to either fellow sx/sp's or sp/sx's.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
agree with the sx/sx description too.
 

themarlins

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
117
My observations:


soc/sp - most commonly date soc/sp, soc/sx, sp/soc. This type more than any other tends to date there own type.

soc/sx - most commonly date soc/sx, sp/soc, sx/sp, soc/sp, sx/soc. This type more than any other tends to be the most versatile and dates any type

sp/soc - most commonly date soc/sx, soc/sp, sp/sx

sp/sx - most commonly date sx/sp, sp/soc

sx/sp - most commonly date sx/soc, sx/sp, sp/sx, soc/sx

sx/soc - most commonly date sx/sp, sx/soc, soc/sx


(a phenomenon ive noticed first hand is every sx I've dated has had a sx ex-bf, then me who is also sx, and then somwhere down the road there next bf will also be sx)


It's a very telling pattern that you will see over and over again. Some types are made for each other and always end up with that type, some can get along with anyone, and some will just never work out no matter how hard you try. I was with a soc/sp recently and we tried to make it work, but it never would, and i could never see it working out. Ever.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,192
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I gotta have another sx in some capacity, honestly.

I need the deep connection, the desire to go as deep as possible and not stop.

I've learned to accept so and sp styles, but originally I misinterpreted them and took the lack of desire to go that deep as a personal rejection -- then I realized they just did not have the same need as me, so it was "okay" and I had to embrace it, but it wasn't really suitable to meet my own needs in an LTR.
 

Spartacuss

wholly charmed
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
677
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
My observations:


soc/sp - most commonly date soc/sp, soc/sx, sp/soc. This type more than any other tends to date there own type.

soc/sx - most commonly date soc/sx, sp/soc, sx/sp, soc/sp, sx/soc. This type more than any other tends to be the most versatile and dates any type

sp/soc - most commonly date soc/sx, soc/sp, sp/sx

sp/sx - most commonly date sx/sp, sp/soc

sx/sp - most commonly date sx/soc, sx/sp, sp/sx, soc/sx

sx/soc - most commonly date sx/sp, sx/soc, soc/sx

(a phenomenon you will always notice is every sx type has had some sort of special ex-bf or ex-gf that is also sx)



It's a very telling pattern that you will see over and over again. Some types are made for each other and always end up with that type, some can get along with anyone, and some will just never work out no matter how much you try to make it work

Where do you see this pattern? And what is the sample size for your observations? Did you type these people or did they type themselves? How much of this is speculative?
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
with sp/soc - you wont have to worry about this ever, because i guarantee you will never connect with one. your sx will repel them, and their cold serious attitude will bore you to death anyways.

Yeah, kinda. Sx doms are too intense for me most of the time, although it certainly depends on type. There are some types where being a sx/sp could work but generally not those with strong Fness. I like passion but when it's directed at me it can be very overwhelming if it doesn't come with uber space.

My attitude is anything but serious though.
 

jixmixfix

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
4,278
:unsure:I feel like i'm the only SP/SX/SO on this site, anyone else one?
 

themarlins

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
117
Where do you see this pattern? And what is the sample size for your observations? Did you type these people or did they type themselves? How much of this is speculative?

I consider myself a master at this :). I'm from the old enneagraminstitute forums and have been studying this stuff since the early 2000's. Ofcourse, as an INTP you are going to question that and never really come to a conclusion. I'm very confident in my typing skill though.

I can pick out peoples stackings from a mile away and I'm almost always right. I do it all the time. I'm very good at reading people. I can often determine someones type within 10 seconds of meeting them.

You can tell peoples types by their energy, their priorities, their social styles, even the look in their eyes.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Eh, you deleted it. But anyhoo.


Dude, I'm an ENTP, I don't give a toss about authority, I adore risk taking and conservative is the last thing I'd get called. How Sp/So displays in an ENTP is exceptionally different to how it displays in an ISTJ for example. If you fail to understand that then you can't be the so called expert on instincts that you claim to be.

As a Sp/So I'm telling you it's the Sx energy that bothers me, telling me I'm wrong shows you're not open to alternative views to your own, seeing as my first hand view trumps your opinion that's a shame ;)
 

themarlins

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
117
soc/sx - theyre just kind of there. nothing special. they're comfortable. meh. its no challenge. they always like me. i feel like i can have them whenever i want.

sp/sx - realistically, i think these would work out really well. and you dont have to deal with the dramatic BS you would get from a sx-firster. It's not as passionate, but thats also a good thing. It's more steady and not as hectic.

sx/sp and sx/soc - i used to think these were the best. i used to crave these. after a few bad experiences, i dont think as highly of them as i used to. like i said, it doesnt matter though. You can say youll never date another sx type but you cant fight it. An sx type will have another sx type drooling lol. its a natural attraction that is FAR stronger than any other one. I get this feeling in my chest, a total merging experience, that I dont get with any other type. Even if sp/sx or soc/sx is a great person who i enjoy, i just dont get that feeling with them. Even if another type would realistically be a better match for me, it doesnt have that same attraction as another sx type. I feel like i have to hold back a bit with other types, but with sx-firsts they meet my energy completely.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
sx/sp and sx/soc - i used to think these were the best. i used to crave these. after a few bad experiences, i dont think as highly of them as i used to. like i said, it doesnt matter though. You can say youll never date another sx type but you cant fight it. An sx type will have another sx type drooling lol. its a natural attraction that is FAR stronger than any other one. I get this feeling in my chest, a total merging experience, that I dont get with any other type. Even if sp/sx or soc/sx is a great person who i enjoy, i just dont get that feeling with them. Even if another type would realistically be a better match for me, it doesnt have that same attraction as another sx type. I feel like i have to hold back a bit with other types, but with sx-firsts they meet my energy completely.

This is why I eventually listened to my sp and kicked w5 into the loop as a check stop before my nature is allowed to proceed.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I generally have a different perspective than you do on this OP (I'm a 9w8 sx/sp).

I generally am repelled by the social instinct in people. I don't feel like I can get as close to them because I generally don't feel safe for some reason. I feel like I can't be myself around them; with the exception of a few so/sx's I've met (and I'm not really attracted to them in a romantic way).

I generally tend to be attracted to sx firsts romantically, specifically other sx/sps. I have generally good interactions with sx/sos, and I could see that working out well, but still if their social instinct is really strong I just don't like getting close.

As for sx lasts, I tend to get along really well with sp/sos. My best friend is an sp/so. I have an interesting relationship with him, it seems like he's extremely uncomfortable with sx stuff and bonding with almost everyone he knows. His friendships are based around soc stuff, being connected with what's going on in his social sphere. But he is comfortable with sx stuff with me since I've know him for so long. But it took him a while to get to that stage. He's still a bit awkward with it, but it's there.

As for other sp/sos, I find that I really enjoy them when we have shared interests. They provide me with an so perspective on it that seems detached, so it's not really threatening or annoying to me. So I'm not really overwhelmed by the soc thing. And it really expands how I look at it.

As for so/sps, I have a difficult time breaking through to them or bonding. It's like we live in two totally different worlds. I have had meaningful work relationships with so/sps, but personal ones are always awkward and formal for some reason. Like we don't have anything to say to each other; since we don't really know what to say.
 

neptunesnet

man-made
Joined
Sep 5, 2009
Messages
1,228
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5&4
Instinctual Variant
sx
sp/sx - realistically, i think these would work out really well. and you dont have to deal with the dramatic BS you would get from a sx-firster. It's not as passionate, but thats also a good thing. It's more steady and not as hectic.

sx/sp and sx/soc - i used to think these were the best. i used to crave these. after a few bad experiences, i dont think as highly of them as i used to. like i said, it doesnt matter though. You can say youll never date another sx type but you cant fight it. An sx type will have another sx type drooling lol. its a natural attraction that is FAR stronger than any other one. I get this feeling in my chest, a total merging experience, that I dont get with any other type. Even if sp/sx or soc/sx is a great person who i enjoy, i just dont get that feeling with them. Even if another type would realistically be a better match for me, it doesnt have that same attraction as another sx type. I feel like i have to hold back a bit with other types, but with sx-firsts they meet my energy completely.

Soooo trueeeee :doh:

I generally have a different perspective than you do on this OP (I'm a 9w8 sx/sp).

I generally am repelled by the social instinct in people. I don't feel like I can get as close to them because I generally don't feel safe for some reason. I feel like I can't be myself around them; with the exception of a few so/sx's I've met (and I'm not really attracted to them in a romantic way).

I generally tend to be attracted to sx firsts romantically, specifically other sx/sps. I have generally good interactions with sx/sos, and I could see that working out well, but still if their social instinct is really strong I just don't like getting close.

As for sx lasts, I tend to get along really well with sp/sos. My best friend is an sp/so. I have an interesting relationship with him, it seems like he's extremely uncomfortable with sx stuff and bonding with almost everyone he knows. His friendships are based around soc stuff, being connected with what's going on in his social sphere. But he is comfortable with sx stuff with me since I've know him for so long. But it took him a while to get to that stage. He's still a bit awkward with it, but it's there.

As for other sp/sos, I find that I really enjoy them when we have shared interests. They provide me with an so perspective on it that seems detached, so it's not really threatening or annoying to me. So I'm not really overwhelmed by the soc thing. And it really expands how I look at it.

As for so/sps, I have a difficult time breaking through to them or bonding. It's like we live in two totally different worlds. I have had meaningful work relationships with so/sps, but personal ones are always awkward and formal for some reason. Like we don't have anything to say to each other; since we don't really know what to say.

My thoughts exactly.

Social dominants just don't do it for me. I always feel like something's missing in our interactions together.
 

angell_m

Permabanned
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
818
MBTI Type
IxFx
Enneagram
5w4
My observations:


soc/sp - most commonly date soc/sp, soc/sx, sp/soc. This type more than any other tends to date there own type.

soc/sx - most commonly date soc/sx, sp/soc, sx/sp, soc/sp, sx/soc. This type more than any other tends to be the most versatile and dates any type

sp/soc - most commonly date soc/sx, soc/sp, sp/sx

sp/sx - most commonly date sx/sp, sp/soc

sx/sp - most commonly date sx/soc, sx/sp, sp/sx, soc/sx

sx/soc - most commonly date sx/sp, sx/soc, soc/sx


(a phenomenon ive noticed first hand is every sx I've dated has had a sx ex-bf, then me who is also sx, and then somwhere down the road there next bf will also be sx)


It's a very telling pattern that you will see over and over again. Some types are made for each other and always end up with that type, some can get along with anyone, and some will just never work out no matter how hard you try. I was with a soc/sp recently and we tried to make it work, but it never would, and i could never see it working out. Ever.

I want more to choose from.

spsxs.jpg
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Yeah, kinda. Sx doms are too intense for me most of the time, although it certainly depends on type. There are some types where being a sx/sp could work but generally not those with strong Fness. I like passion but when it's directed at me it can be very overwhelming if it doesn't come with uber space.

My attitude is anything but serious though.

Other than being "too intense", how would you describe your interactions with sx-doms? I'm curious how we come off to people who are not sx-doms themselves. Crazy wierdos who have the ability to peer into your soul?
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
sx/sp and sx/soc - i used to think these were the best. i used to crave these. after a few bad experiences, i dont think as highly of them as i used to. like i said, it doesnt matter though. You can say youll never date another sx type but you cant fight it. An sx type will have another sx type drooling lol. its a natural attraction that is FAR stronger than any other one. I get this feeling in my chest, a total merging experience, that I dont get with any other type. Even if sp/sx or soc/sx is a great person who i enjoy, i just dont get that feeling with them. Even if another type would realistically be a better match for me, it doesnt have that same attraction as another sx type. I feel like i have to hold back a bit with other types, but with sx-firsts they meet my energy completely.

Just like neptune, I have to agree with this. sx to sx connections are phenomenal. I don't think even explaining it to non-sx-doms would do it any justice. You have to experience it to know what it's like. But, yeah, they sometimes still don't seem to work for LTR's. Too much intensity? Both partners have to learn to chill out a bit if it's going to work.
 
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