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Thread: sx/sp types, let me save you a lot of trouble in the search for a mate

  1. #21
    Diabolical Array Kasper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    9w8 so/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Other than being "too intense", how would you describe your interactions with sx-doms? I'm curious how we come off to people who are not sx-doms themselves. Crazy wierdos who have the ability to peer into your soul?
    Enneagram/MBTI has an impact here, for some sx's I find their style invasive and hard to take (I am a NT Sp so it's really not that hard ), with others not so much.


    With some there's the ability to be brutally harsh to others with very high sensitivity to criticism themselves, anger is often present and emotion tends to be more reactive and explosive than other types. Jealousy and insecurity in relationships also seems more common [refer to my thread on Jealousy to understand why I have an issue with that ].

    Their passion is something I love, the intensity makes me cautious though. I'm fine with impulsiveness but unpredictability in emotions that may be formal one moment then explode as anger or volatility without warning doesn't gel with me, I can't trust that in people, it activates my defences. As we're talking in the context of a romantic relationship, that's clearly a bad thing.

    There are 3 Enneagram types in particular that I find dom sx's easier to connect with though:

    5s have a strong need for independence more than most others so they don't bring out a claustrophobic feeling in me, they also push and pull with their boundaries which can give me some breathing space (although it can also leave me unsure of where I stand). 5 sx's don't appear as passionate or intense to me until you hit on a topic that they care deeply about. Anger can still present but I find 5s more disconnected and even than other sx's. Their intense emotions often come out as more depressive than volatile. Basically they seem more consistent.

    7 sx's don't tend to cause any concern, maybe it's because of the shared enneagram, maybe because their moods tend to display more as excitement, happiness and other positive expressions which I love and am magnetised towards. Maybe both.

    9s are also generally not too intense for me, if we were to use Tritype 9w8 would be my second type, I can relate to their style quite well and I tend to find them inoffensive and happy-go-lucky most of the time. As with 5s their ability to withdraw makes it easier for me to get the space I need.

    This is of course all generalised to give you a global view of my take, there are always exceptions.

  2. #22
    Banned Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2010


    WHO WOULDN'T want a partner who's sexually dominant or dominantly sexual, goes both ways.

  3. #23
    Emerging Array Tallulah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008


    Agree with Trinity on this topic. I'm sp/so/sx, and I have a deep desire to connect intensely with my SO, but not with the general population. I can do it with close friends who've been around a while, but only in spurts. I don't like to be probed and poked (that's what she said!). But with an SO, I WANT to feel deeply, connect deeply. But I also want to know that it's not going to burn brightly then fade away after a few months. I want to know the desire for connection will stay there, and if that means we're not on 11 the whole time and we need to tend to our own independence needs, I can deal with that. It's also a turn-on when someone has put in the time to show me that he wants to know me, and will wait for me to be comfortable. I think it ties in with the wing 5 stuff that Condon was talking about. I need to know it's a decision I'm willingly making, rather than feeling pressured to open up.
    Something Witty

  4. #24
    Senior Member Array the state i am in's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    5w4 sx/sp


    i think the objection to sx types is that they seem so impulsive and focused on what they want. i associate sx with if not blatant selfishness a kind of self-absorption. want what i want when i want it kind of thing.

    the good is that when you both are completely into each other the connection is so direct, focused, intense. we both want to relate with nothing held back and no remainders. and a person's individual truths come out so much faster and with so much more energy and richly saturated expressiveness. for moments you glimpse the whole of them more completely, although that gets fatiguing and hazy after a while and it needs time to regenerate a sense of individual identity that speaks to more than just your privately shared world.

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