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  1. #11
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    ^ There's always snacks in the So realm!

    *passes you the cheese and cracker tray*

    So what do you want to know?
    Protean, I'm not sure what I "want" to know, I wonder how many of us are So dominant, and am curious how that colors our interactions with other posters on the board. Do we tend to be more consensus-oriented? Do we avoid discussing personal stuff?

    And, you'll note that So dom (right now) appears to be quite a minority here too (on TypoC) ... anyone hazard a guess why? The Sx dom list is quite extensive at this point.

    *passes protean the canapes*
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  2. #12
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    Social/Self-pres

    This subtype can mimic type One when it comes to social values. They can be harsh critics of the current mores. They have romantic ideals of what the world should be like; reality always falls short. Ironically, this type can be the most withdrawn of the Fours. Social anxiety combines with the Four's shame issues to make this type feel that the pressure associated with "fitting in" is just not worth it. They are also the most likely of the Fours to intellectualize their emotions and in this way resemble type Five.

    The social instinct tends to give the personality a focus on being included, fitting in, or finding a way to make a valued contribution. This agenda conflicts with the Four's sense of being "different from" or "other than." The Four's need to establish a separate identity conflicts with the social instinct's drive towards inclusion. The social Four often deals with this dilemma by defining themselves as being outside the social system. By defining themselves always in terms of the system, even if it is to establish distance, this Four stays essentially tied to it. Fours with the social/self-pres stacking tend to acutely feel a sense of social shame at not quite belonging.

    When this subtype is reasonably healthy, they are often gifted critics of the prevailing culture. They develop true insight into social dynamics and have an eye for the nuances and subtleties of social interactions. Many Four writers are soc/self.
    I find the above shockingly accurate for myself and very well written and thorough. I can't explain better than that.

  3. #13
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    And, you'll note that So dom (right now) appears to be quite a minority here too (on TypoC) ... anyone hazard a guess why? The Sx dom list is quite extensive at this point.

    *passes protean the canapes*
    I guess internet interaction like this forum (which is more substantial than say, facebook?) would attract SX's. Particularly SX/SPs who crave intimacy but also get prickly about their space (or *cough cough* INFPS? )

    I'm surprised there aren't more SO/SX's and so many SP wings who've self identified.

    I really want to compare notes with the other SO/SXs Proximo, ThatGirl, and Protean. Other than we're all extroverts, I think I see similarities between us ??? as far as how we see and approach people, even on the forum that are related to being So/Sx...but that might be overenthusiastic Ne.

    I've met both ThatGirl and Protean IRL though and as far as the 'vibe' and how we approach/perceive the world ... I can see that.

    So/Sx is not as intense? There is a lighter touch or more of a "live and let live" feel. I think it flavors the Ennegram type. So/Sx probably intensifies the existing vibe of a 7 and takes the edge off of an 8 or 1?

    I'm just throwing out ideas here.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  4. #14
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Rebe already posted E4 so/sp.

    Here's type 9 so/sp:

    Social Nines feel the need for validation and for "fitting in" but they feel these indirectly. They move towards others in a way which can resemble Twos, but they are motivated by a desire to initiate and maintain contact without provoking conflict. On the high side, the social/self-pres Nine generally knows a lot of people and gets along with most everyone. They are helpful people who generally have a great sense of humor. They get involved with the social environment. They might be the soccer coach, or if politically inclined, they might join and participate in a political party. When in leadership roles, they lead by consensus and charm. Their skill is in conflict management. With the sexual instinct last, they tend to avoid intensity, but they are actively involved with people.

    Intimate relationships might be frustrating for the partner of this subtype of Nine because the Nine's social engagements might make the partner feel as though the Nine is connected with everyone except them. Sometimes this subtype can use their social connections in a passive-aggressive way against the partner; they might withhold attention from the partner in lieu of spending time with friends.

    Type 7 so/sx:

    This Seven has a lot of energy although not always a productive energy, as it often contains a frenetic quality. These Sevens usually have a great sense of humor and many comedians are soc/sexual sevens. The social and sexual instincts go hand in hand with the type Seven fixation. These Sevens want to keep things light. They have fast sharp minds that incorporate social awareness into their humor which they use to get by in their interactions with the world. On the down side, commitment is a big issue for this subtype. They cultivate many friendships and can thrive on winning people over, making them laugh and entertaining them but intimacy can feel threatening and constraining. For others, interacting with this subtype of Seven can feel draining, because they are “on” so much of the time.

    With the self-pres instinct least developed in the stacking, they tend to lose focus on their many plans. On the down side, their health and commitments can fall by the wayside in lieu of the buzz of the newest excitement.

    In intimate relationships, this subtype is “the charmer,” but they maintain their freedom from any strong ties to the one person. They may end up in marriages or long term commitments where they hook up with someone reliable and stable, someone with a much more low key personality. This gives them the stability they don’t have themselves. This eventually leads to trouble if the soc/sexual seven doesn’t realize that responsibility for his or her own life can’t be transferred to another. It’s not that the soc/sexual goes into the relationship with this kind of pattern in mind. It is just easy for the dynamic to default to that dynamic.

    Type 1 so/sx:

    The social/sexual One will have the same concerns as the social/self-pres types, however those concerns center more on individuals. Rules aren’t quite as important. They will zero in on what they want to make better and the intensity of their conviction is more obvious. Along with this, they are more personable, somewhat "lighter" and don’t generally take themselves as seriously. They can have a great sense of humor.

    On the down side, their sensitivity can cause them to hold grudges. Because the self-pres instinct is last, this subtype could easily be mistaken for other enneatypes. Along with the sexual/social subtype, they can even be somewhat sloppy. Usually, there is still a sense of organization and a desire to do the job right, but there is much less emphasis on perfectionism in the material, physical environment. Most of their focus is on people and society. With this as their focus, they can be quite persuasive when it comes to their chosen causes. On the down side, when this extra outward energy is taken too far, they can approach the world with the attitude that they need to be right at all costs.

    Type 8 so/sx:

    This subtype of Eight comes across a little softer then the sexual first subtypes. The social instinct combines with the sexual to make a subtype that is very aware of interpersonal dynamics. Like the social/self-pres Eight, they are less concerned with group dynamics. The social/sexual is more talkative, and if the Seven wing is dominant, may even be mistaken for a Seven. This subtype usually has a wide circle of friends. They can be very charismatic also, using humor to charm people. On the down side, they can use their interpersonal awareness to con people.

    This subtype, largely because the self-preservational instinct is last, may be the least entrepreneurial of the instinctual subtypes of type Eight. The lust for life manifests through connection to others. On the high side, their awareness of the social dynamic makes them very charismatic. On the down side, it can make them overly aware of issues involving control. They are especially sensitive to any hint that others may be trying to control them, but they may misuse power themselves.

    Did I miss anyone so far? Will go back and check.

    (promixo, here are yours; which "feels" more accurate to you?)

    Type 7 sp/so:

    Self-pres/soc Seven has many friends and loves to entertain. Sevens want to experience life with their friends. The self-pres in type Seven manifests in a desire for sensual pleasures. Their energy goes to the comforts of the body and positive experiences, both experiences of the body and the mind. Like all Sevens, they have an enthusiastic quality, especially as it pertains to the future. Making plans for life is essential for the self-pres/social Seven. This future orientation of the self/social Seven can be an escape from boredom, so many of the plans they make for the future don’t come to fruition. This doesn’t stop them however from forging ahead and moving onto the next grand scheme. The self-pres/social Seven’s plans usually focus around typical self-pres concerns such as making money, exploring job opportunities, or renovating the house. With social second in the stacking much of their energy will spill over into maintaining social connections.

    When unhealthier, their many friendships serve mostly as tools which help keep the Seven distracted from facing themselves and their problems. The more friends, the more opportunities the Seven has to be distracted. These Sevens can have a hard time making or keeping commitments, as commitments can feel like a limitation on their options. With the sexual instinct least developed, they can feel unmotivated to put in the work it takes to maintain a close relationship.

    When this subtype gets healthier they learn to ground themselves, slow down and actually appreciate the many things they have acquired, whether they be material things or experiences. They start to realize that the next great plan may not give them the happiness they are expecting.

    Type 8 so/sp:

    This subtype generally has a larger sphere of influence, although they might still be very entrepreneurial. They are likely to be more socially minded then the other subtypes of Eight. They are more aware of group dynamics. The social instinct, when combined with the type Eight fixation, causes an exagerrated awareness of whoever is in control. This often leads these Eights to get involved in politics, or to rise to levels of leadership within their place of business, or within their social organizations. They are also just as likely to oppose the group or the person in charge of it. The self-pres instinct combines with the social to give this subtype a "can do" approach to life, similar to that of the self-pres/soc. The difference is that their scope of interests extends further into the social arena. The soc/self-pres Eight, when unhealthy, can use their awareness of power realtions to abuse whatever power they might have.

    Source: the enneagram ...info from the underground
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  5. #15
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    Social 9 - Seeking Acceptance/Belonging/Inclusion/Status

    Social Nines seek a sense of well being through social connection and friendship. People of this variant may often not seem like Nines because they are usually more outgoing, active, and involved in their world. There is more warmth and affection expressed by Nines of this variant. They tend to be idealistic and are often supportive of causes, acting as the "social glue" in many organizations and groups. But even in the midst of social activity, Social Nines remain strangely unaware of and unaffected by the problems of others. They are drawn to situations in which they feel they can belong, but they also internally hold themselves apart—usually by emotionally distancing themselves from others while maintaining an outward friendliness.

    Since Social Nines tend to be affable and cheerful and enjoy having different experiences, they can resemble Sevens. They also tend to be more task-oriented: they enjoy working on projects and being involved in meaningful activities with others, so they can also resemble Threes. Unlike Threes, however, Social Nines have difficulty sustaining efforts on their own behalf. They do not easily pursue their own goals and tend to get sidetracked by social interactions and others' needs and agendas.
    My introvertedness buffers my So outgoing part and my So outgoing comes out alot more around people I am familiar with.
    Im out, its been fun

  6. #16
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    ...*passes protean the canapes*
    I'll guess I'm the salmon mousse, so get ready to start nibbling.

    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    I really want to compare notes with the other SO/SXs Proximo, ThatGirl, and Protean. Other than we're all extroverts, I think I see similarities between us ??? as far as how we see and approach people, even on the forum that are related to being So/Sx...but that might be overenthusiastic Ne.

    I've met both ThatGirl and Protean IRL though and as far as the 'vibe' and how we approach/perceive the world ... I can see that.
    What I think is interesting about us is we speak freely and openly about ourselves, our friends, family, relationships, ideas, opinions, whatever. I feel that things between us evolved very organically and naturally and there was an instant comfort. I feel like you put me at ease initially when we met, you've made yourself available and accessible to grow and nurture a friendship, there is reciprocation, I believe you are a truthful, honest, and genuine, who comes both from the heart and the head. You're not some misbegotten mass of unchecked emotional mitosis (that was a mouthful!) and you have good emotional intelligence, emotionally literate, and aware of human nature and flaws without being judgmental about it. I got that from you from your posts when you first joined the forum and you have been consistent from paper to person. You know how suspicious I am of forum personas and people being real and authentic. I did feel that you were a keep it real person before I even met you, which made me want to meet you. I didn't feel tricked when I met you.

    I don't know if that was at all on topic, but whatevs. I could go into more details, but I'll wait.

    I've talked to ThatGirl a few times in vent and while I know she can be a handful, I feel like she'd be a keep it real, above-board person as well.

    So/Sx is not as intense? There is a lighter touch or more of a "live and let live" feel. I think it flavors the Ennegram type. So/Sx probably intensifies the existing vibe of a 7 and takes the edge off of an 8 or 1?
    I know that people have told me I can be whooooshy, but I don't know if that means intense or not. I've also been told I make strong impressions...like if I meet a person once they typically remember who I was the next time they see me. And if I am at all accurate in gauging reactions it's not a "Run! Hide! Take only the clothes on your back!" kinda thing, it seems like a favorable impression.

    I don't like to be forgotten (you are going to love me after all), but I don't know if that's a type of intensity but not the blowtorch kind. I also find it insulting to be ignored, disregarded, and discounted...I do not like to be treated like a plastic potted plant in the corner and if I feel like I'm being treated like that I will insert and assert myself and make my presence known. Basically, don't sleep on me. I've found this out about myself since I started working in the real world and more than likely an ego and pride issue.

    I know that I'm very crotchety about people invading my emotional space without me giving them permission to do so. I'm very sensitive to attempts and smack people back when they try, if I have not given them the go ahead. But once I give the go ahead, I'm pretty transparent and enjoy the intimacy.

    I don't know if this has anything to do with so/sx, but if you'll notice I used some variant of "emotion" several times already. I have come to realize I really don't like to deal with people who are like a boiling pot of spaghetti sauce popping and spilling and staining themselves over everyone. To me that indicates emotional instability. I'm not saying be stoic and hide how you feel because anyone who knows me, knows that's not what I'm about. I feel like when people force me into that position and role, I suddenly become your emotional guardian or custodian cleaning up behind you. I'm not really sure how to describe this, but I've discovered that annoys me and makes me not want to be around people whose MO is being constantly uncorked. Maybe to a sx-dom that would indicate something different than it would to me? Someone to investigate and get to know better?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  7. #17
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    As the sx that's lurking about:

    To me it's a riddle to be solved...why is it bubbling? What causes it? How do I turn it down, or do i really just wanna remove the lid and see what's underneath..free it?

    I'll also not care about the emotional mess they're making, thoughg i'll move them to a spot where they don't harm anyone. If possible, I'll let them do their own mopping..I'm not a maid or emotional babysitter, though I'll jump in if I see that it's a lot of work and they don't know where to start. If they're suffering, and ask for help to help them control stuff, I'll try to do so. Sometimes, that also means just assuring them that they will figure out how to control this themselves and letting them stew.

    Too many pots in a row or at the same time = sigh!
    But I do enjoy the challenge from time to time...
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  8. #18
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Satine View Post
    As the sx that's lurking about:

    To me it's a riddle to be solved...why is it bubbling? What causes it? How do I turn it down, or do i really just wanna remove the lid and see what's underneath..free it?

    I'll also not care about the emotional mess they're making, thoughg i'll move them to a spot where they don't harm anyone. If possible, I'll let them do their own mopping..I'm not a maid or emotional babysitter, though I'll jump in if I see that it's a lot of work and they don't know where to start. If they're suffering, and ask for help to help them control stuff, I'll try to do so. Sometimes, that also means just assuring them that they will figure out how to control this themselves and letting them stew.

    Too many pots in a row or at the same time = sigh!
    But I do enjoy the challenge from time to time...
    Yeah, that's icky to me. It seems subversive, manipulative, and ultimately about you controlling them. I know you like to sugarcoat it and make it seem like this really beautiful thing, but I've seen people even now who use that as power and leverage against others.

    Even you refer to it as a challenge and that's just not the way to look at it from my POV. It's almost like racking up notches on bedposts.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  9. #19
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Protean's description rang true for me, as did the 1 so/sx description. I think I'm warm, but I do want to reserve the right to welcome people into my space. Even online flirting that is harmless doesn't go over well with me unless I like the person and know them better. (Sort of an implied intimacy that I don't feel is there yet, which feels the same as someone being too touchy feely. The strange thing is that it really depends on how people approach it. It isn't strictly based on how long I've know them, or even what I think of their character etc. Maybe it's how naturally it comes to them as well? Don't know.). I thought what Protean said about the emotional pot bubbling sounded true for me too. I like emotion that is real and I am probably more comfortable than the average person in the face of extreme emotion. At the same time, I don't like it when people go around unnecessarily leaking emotion everywhere, regardless of how appropriate the person or venue they are leaking it on is. It almost seems over the top or false somehow rather than genuine.

  10. #20
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    With So people, I typically feel like I keep getting disarmed. Or they blow the whistle on me. Like socialization is this game of Simon Says or Stoplight, and they're the referees. I see the things I want out of people, try to get them but if I don't jump through the hoops properly I get rebuffed. And then when we get what we want, there's some kind of implied exit strategy! "Well you got this far, now here are the rules now that you're in the club." It's a bit different with Sps, as they seem equally as closed off to me, but it's more like banging on the turtle shell and them just not wanting to come out.

    Just how it seems to me. I'm sure you guys find us to be people users. Like we get our fix and bolt.



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