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View Poll Results: Your enneagram instinctual stacking:

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  • Sp/So

    30 32.26%
  • Sp/Sx

    34 36.56%
  • Sp/??

    6 6.45%
  • So/Sp

    2 2.15%
  • Sx/Sp

    14 15.05%
  • Screw you Sp's!

    6 6.45%
  • Sp/INA

    1 1.08%
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Results 41 to 50 of 124

  1. #41
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeo
    I'm gonna talk about connection in general - not specific to romance. With romance, it would just be what I'm referring to below, plus a really intense physical attraction/chemistry.

    All I can say is that my impression of some of the sx-doms on here, and a few irl I've been a total mismatch with in terms of romantic compatiblity, is that their intensity is focused towards expression of feeling, of vulnerability, a willingness to plunge into the depths of.. whatever.. and expose and be naked and all-known to the other. Much more personalized.. 1:1 intensity, desire to share all inner workings, little to no boundaries or walls, a desire to merge completely with the other person.

    A connection for me tends to revolve around an acceptance and sharing of ideas, thoughts, perspectives, and such. Not so personal, not tied to Me necessarily/specifically. Very idea/concept based; not centralized around my own inner workings or emotions. Yes, I express my emotions and personal fears/issues at times, but it's usually more of a declaration...'this is where I'm at'... I don't really want to 'explore' them with another. I basically handle these things in-house and they're not things I tend to want others to help me navigate through, nor do I really think they're pertinent/necessary for others to know about, if they don't really impact the Relationship itself.

    Connection is also a blending of personalities... a good back-and-forth, both people giving and taking and interested in one another, really appreciating/caring/loving one another.

    I would imagine a dom-sx might get frustrated with me, thinking they're not really seeing 'Me' or getting to know me because I DO sort through a lot of my personal stuff in-house and don't talk it out, and I also tend not to talk about myself or my issues/questions/problems in detail at all - just vague generalities - statements of fact, almost - not really wanting to discuss them - so truthfully I just don't connect that way and my best friends are ones who I have excellent conversations with, however, the content of the conversations just have very little to do with where I'm at internally. Unless I'm wanting input. But it's just input - not exploratory or anything. Almost clinical? Not vulnerable/raw.

    If I can share my thoughts/ideas, and be understood/accepted, and vice versa, that tends to equate to a Big Connection. Connection = Intellectual & personality acceptance for me, I think. Big picture stuff; not based on them knowing everything about me or me knowing everything about them. It's like... knowing enough of their general characteristics and traits, but not needing/desiring the nitty-gritty inner workings/psychae. More intuitive? Blah, what a silly ramble this is. And I don't think I'm really getting at the key differences... I can't really put my finger on it, I just know I'm really different from dom-sx, and I think even aux-sx, so my conversational focus/'desire'/need must be quite different too.
    It was an interesting ramble! I do very much want to explore inner workings with an SO - I've always attributed it to Fi. With friends I'm much more like you describe.

  2. #42
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    4w5 sp
    Yeah to what the others of my kind said.

  3. #43
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    I was going over the people in this thread who were Sp doms earlier and noting that it's often people who I can like just as much as anyone but feel they are unreachable in a way
    I was thinking the very same thing...
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  4. #44
    Glycerine
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    I think it makes come off cold/ somewhat abrasive. I don't relate to many Fe doms but I know I am one. I'm 3w4 SP/SO. From afar, people might type me as a T.

  5. #45
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    I was going over the people in this thread who were Sp doms earlier and noting that it's often people who I can like just as much as anyone but feel they are unreachable in a way
    Odd, I consider myself extremely easy to reach. Just very hard to obtain.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  6. #46
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I don't know how this translates to my real life... I like my friends and run away from them to talk to strangers frequently
    Hehe, totally get that, kinda sums things up for me rather well.


    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    If I can share my thoughts/ideas, and be understood/accepted, and vice versa, that tends to equate to a Big Connection. Connection = Intellectual & personality acceptance for me, I think. Big picture stuff; not based on them knowing everything about me or me knowing everything about them. It's like... knowing enough of their general characteristics and traits, but not needing/desiring the nitty-gritty inner workings/psychae.
    I relate to most of that, although I do have a strong desire to figure out exactly what makes other people tick.

  7. #47
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    It was an interesting ramble! I do very much want to explore inner workings with an SO - I've always attributed it to Fi. With friends I'm much more like you describe.
    haha, thanks. And truthfully it's hard for me to gauge what I might *really* be like with an SO who I was really close to, as I'm not sure I've ever truly experienced that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity
    I relate to most of that, although I do have a strong desire to figure out exactly what makes other people tick.
    I really like to learn what makes people tick as well, but I feel like my method isn't as... invasive?.. as some. I don't push. If people voluntary talk about it, then I'll probably feel honored. But I think the distinction (probably due to sp/so) is that I may not feel the need/desire to reciprocate on the same level. Going back to what I said earlier.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
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  8. #48
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    But I think the distinction (probably due to sp/so) is that I may not feel the need/desire to reciprocate on the same level. Going back to what I said earlier.
    Yup, in true ENTP style I can be quite invasive when pushing others into revealing things, and I can be quite open myself if I want to be, it's my investment in what I'm telling them that isn't on the same level, it rarely makes me feel "closer" to them and it's rarely anything that I'm not comfortable telling any old stranger.

  9. #49
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I'll appear to be open to others, but I'm not... I'll admit to some of the most horrible things because they're really not that big of a deal to me, but anything that I feel is important is usually well hidden
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  10. #50
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    Took me a bit to figure out my instinctual variant... but I'm fairly sure I'm a 4w5 sp/so.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Johari/Nohari

    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche




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