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View Poll Results: Your enneagram instinctual stacking:

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  • Sp/So

    30 32.26%
  • Sp/Sx

    34 36.56%
  • Sp/??

    6 6.45%
  • So/Sp

    2 2.15%
  • Sx/Sp

    14 15.05%
  • Screw you Sp's!

    6 6.45%
  • Sp/INA

    1 1.08%
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  1. #31
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    4w5 sp/sx

  2. #32
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    4w5 sp/sx here too

  3. #33
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    For sp/so s...do you find that you navigate the social realm more easily than you do the romantic realm? I do. Actually, what does it mean to be sx last? Certainly not a lack of intensity in romance IME.

  4. #34
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    For sp/so s...do you find that you navigate the social realm more easily than you do the romantic realm? I do. Actually, what does it mean to be sx last? Certainly not a lack of intensity in romance IME.
    I certainly do. I also tend towards friendships with people over romantic relationships as a default, it generally takes them suggesting otherwise for me to consider the possibility. Not sure of my partners instincts but he'd be a 5w4 so very non-clingy which makes it easier for me to navigate.

    For me having sx last may impact with me being completely happy to talk to people one-on-one but keeping myself quite guarded in that situation, I don't like the focus to me on my personal life unless it's people I'm really close too.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    S(I don't mean to brag, but supervisors love me and put me in positions of leadership even if I don't quite like/want them.)
    Tell me, what's the point in that? I mean, there is actually no practical value in doing that, is there. Putting somebody in a leadership position who doesn't know anything about leadership and doesn't quite want to be there makes absolutely no sense to me at all.

  6. #36
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bcvcdc View Post
    Tell me, what's the point in that? I mean, there is actually no practical value in doing that, is there. Putting somebody in a leadership position who doesn't know anything about leadership and doesn't quite want to be there makes absolutely no sense to me at all.
    Practical value? I do not know. Maybe I worded it incorrectly. By my not really wanting to be there, that's more an aspect of my introversion and my not ideally liking to monitor/supervise over others; I prefer working independently. But I can 'pull off' the leadership thing fine... it's just more emotionally/mentally draining for me, than it would be for, say, an ExxJ who thrives much more in the spotlight. So I don't consider myself a natural leader in comparison to ExxJ's, but have the ability to keep things moving and get things done, so I think that's why I'm given more responsibility.

    ---------------------

    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun
    For sp/so s...do you find that you navigate the social realm more easily than you do the romantic realm? I do. Actually, what does it mean to be sx last? Certainly not a lack of intensity in romance IME.
    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity
    For me having sx last may impact with me being completely happy to talk to people one-on-one but keeping myself quite guarded in that situation, I don't like the focus to me on my personal life unless it's people I'm really close too.
    I can definitely relate to that. I keep most of my inner workings to myself, and don't really like talking about myself. My default mode is getting others to open up, I guess, as I really enjoy learning about others - it's a curiosity thing.

    As for intensity in romantic relationships... I have had some very intense experiences, but they're few and far between and I also believe my definition/idea of intensity may be quite different from that of a dom-sx... at least in terms of what we discuss, and I don't really know how to word this, but.. the 'focal point' of the intensity? The manner of connection?
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  7. #37
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    4w5 sp/sx infj. I sometimes wonder for a short period of time if I'm sx - in a 'comfortable' safe state I can let go of the sp somehow but it's always there, first, nevertheless. I feel like they contradict each other.

  8. #38
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    I certainly do. I also tend towards friendships with people over romantic relationships as a default, it generally takes them suggesting otherwise for me to consider the possibility. Not sure of my partners instincts but he'd be a 5w4 so very non-clingy which makes it easier for me to navigate.

    For me having sx last may impact with me being completely happy to talk to people one-on-one but keeping myself quite guarded in that situation, I don't like the focus to me on my personal life unless it's people I'm really close too.
    I'm actually hyperaware of romantic possibilities. I assume because they could potentially threaten the self-preservational aspect. When people are either formal impossibilities (taken, far away, zombie virus carriers :p - this is a particularly tricky category) or emotional/chemistry impossibilities (not attracted to them) I will let my guard down a *lot* more easily.

    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeo
    I can definitely relate to that. I keep most of my inner workings to myself, and don't really like talking about myself. My default mode is getting others to open up, I guess, as I really enjoy learning about others - it's a curiosity thing.
    I actually don't know how I feel about learning about others. I enjoy understanding them and supporting them, but I'm not really invested myself.

    When I let people in, it's a different story...I am prone to losing myself and investing lots (actually the opposite of the sp thing). I've made some exciting, but at least on a couple of levels not very self-preservational moves.

    As for intensity in romantic relationships... I have had some very intense experiences, but they're few and far between and I also believe my definition/idea of intensity may be quite different from that of a dom-sx... at least in terms of what we discuss, and I don't really know how to word this, but.. the 'focal point' of the intensity? The manner of connection?
    How do you think the connection differs? Well, you said you didn't really know how to word it, but...try for us? :p

    Quote Originally Posted by tibby View Post
    I feel like they contradict each other.
    And all of what I've written makes me wonder if I'm not sx second after all. I've no doubts about sp first, but I can't seem to intuitively click with or commit to either so or sx for the second part. I don't relate to the misanthropic quality in the 5 sp/sx description for example. Neither do I relate to the lack of charisma or even some form of dramatic flair in the sx last description. Maybe that's the 5 vs. 4 aspect of it all.

    Some days I'll feel detached and disconnected. Other days I'll be much more passionate.

  9. #39
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I'm your enneagram twin here (7w8 sp/so)

    I don't know how this translates to my real life... I like my friends and run away from them to talk to strangers frequently

    I also feel compelled to help people out and feel resentful of the fact that I always end up feeling like I give more than I get

    In other words... anyone wanna trade me instinctual stackings?
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  10. #40
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    I'm actually hyperaware of romantic possibilities. I assume because they could potentially threaten the self-preservational aspect. When people are either formal impossibilities (taken, far away, zombie virus carriers :p - this is a particularly tricky category) or emotional/chemistry impossibilities (not attracted to them) I will let my guard down a *lot* more easily.
    Oh, I relate very much to this. I'm hyper-aware of those who might be signalling an interest in me, romantically, which is problematic for me if I can't reciprocate (which is usually the case). It's very stressful for me if this mismatch/imbalance occurs.

    How do you think the connection differs? Well, you said you didn't really know how to word it, but...try for us? :p
    I'm gonna talk about connection in general - not specific to romance. With romance, it would just be what I'm referring to below, plus a really intense physical attraction/chemistry.

    All I can say is that my impression of some of the sx-doms on here, and a few irl I've been a total mismatch with in terms of romantic compatiblity, is that their intensity is focused towards expression of feeling, of vulnerability, a willingness to plunge into the depths of.. whatever.. and expose and be naked and all-known to the other. Much more personalized.. 1:1 intensity, desire to share all inner workings, little to no boundaries or walls, a desire to merge completely with the other person.

    A connection for me tends to revolve around an acceptance and sharing of ideas, thoughts, perspectives, and such. Not so personal, not tied to Me necessarily/specifically. Very idea/concept based; not centralized around my own inner workings or emotions. Yes, I express my emotions and personal fears/issues at times, but it's usually more of a declaration...'this is where I'm at'... I don't really want to 'explore' them with another. I basically handle these things in-house and they're not things I tend to want others to help me navigate through, nor do I really think they're pertinent/necessary for others to know about, if they don't really impact the Relationship itself.

    Connection is also a blending of personalities... a good back-and-forth, both people giving and taking and interested in one another, really appreciating/caring/loving one another.

    I would imagine a dom-sx might get frustrated with me, thinking they're not really seeing 'Me' or getting to know me because I DO sort through a lot of my personal stuff in-house and don't talk it out, and I also tend not to talk about myself or my issues/questions/problems in detail at all - just vague generalities - statements of fact, almost - not really wanting to discuss them - so truthfully I just don't connect that way and my best friends are ones who I have excellent conversations with, however, the content of the conversations just have very little to do with where I'm at internally. Unless I'm wanting input. But it's just input - not exploratory or anything. Almost clinical? Not vulnerable/raw.

    If I can share my thoughts/ideas, and be understood/accepted, and vice versa, that tends to equate to a Big Connection. Connection = Intellectual & personality acceptance for me, I think. Big picture stuff; not based on them knowing everything about me or me knowing everything about them. It's like... knowing enough of their general characteristics and traits, but not needing/desiring the nitty-gritty inner workings/psychae. More intuitive? Blah, what a silly ramble this is. And I don't think I'm really getting at the key differences... I can't really put my finger on it, I just know I'm really different from dom-sx, and I think even aux-sx, so my conversational focus/'desire'/need must be quite different too.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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