So I think that the enneagram's instinctual variants affect relationships a lot. This is because the way that you think about life in the most basic way is completely opposing; in a nutshell. Having complementary instincts is a top priority for relationship success I'd say. If people's instincts don't line up, they usually aren't attracted to each other I've noticed. Like, an sp/sx would probably be naturally unattracted to so/sx types, etc.
How do you think that the instincts affect relationships? Experiences? Thoughts?
This was brought up because I talked to someone that I'm 90% sure was an so/sp today. This was just on a random chat, but we talked for a good half hour. I noticed her sx last, it was very apparent. When I'd ask questions about her, she would awkwardly answer in a very brief way. When I talked about my interests, instead of talking about her own or how my interests applied to me, she talked about how they applied to the social hierarchy at her college; or how popular that thing was etc. She just basically never really seemed to talk about how things related to her, or me. I honestly felt like I was being ignored, yet she was totally focused on the conversation. When we joked around about how most people there just wanted to hit on people, she basically said that she didn't really care about sex that much. It was a really strange conversation. The sp was apparent too, she was pretty practical and seemed to emphasize safety and saving money when those things were brought up. She also seemed to have a clear understanding of her own ideas and opinions, she had a lot of thoughts on a lot of subjects (this usually has to do with the sp variant, being concerned with your own ideas and thoughts). She seemed like a cool gal, really smart, but I just couldn't deal with that in a relationship.