Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
Yeah I do this with sp firsts as well. The distance would be a big issue for me in a relationship. Social firsts are also extremely difficult for me to deal with in almost every area of life besides casual friendship. So/sx I could handle in a relationship, but I'd still feel that feeling of distrust because of their being social first. So/sx is really varying. When I talk to them one to one I like them, but when I see them interacting with life in any other way it just really, really irks me for some reason. It vibes me horribly. They usually have a ton of friends and connections, and I sometimes feel that my interactions with them have just been shallow and don't matter because they probably have done that with a lot of other people. Then I feel unusually vulnerable when that happens. It sucks.
Yeah and it's sometimes hard to be around her because I think she has certain expectations of me to be more light instead being "so negative" all the time, even though I don't see it that way at all. I'm inclined to see it as more constructive because I'm touching on the core of the issue instead of skirting around them.

*sigh* But okay.

Well... I think that they're both. They're observable things, so in a way it is behavior. But they just have a really deep impact on who a person is, it's how someone interacts with life on the most basic levels. Just trying to clarify!

Like, the instincts and enneagram type are like layers. Let's look at it like a lolli pop with gum in the middle. A 8w7 sx/sp and a 4w5 sx/sp will have a different flavor on the outside, but the gum will taste the same on the inside.

And cute analogy.

It still sounds like you're using this as a defense to prevent people from actually getting to know you. Like as a filter. I sort of do this too, I act in a certain way to everyone to filter people out to see who is trustworthy and who is attractive to me. I'm nonrevealing and aloof. Then when someone seems trustworthy enough and makes me comfortable, I'll open up. What you're doing just sounds like a much more extreme version of this?
The underlined is what sounds the most accurate for me.

Extreme sounds like me.

It still doesn't make much sense that you relate a lot to so/sp. Maybe I should read it and see how it feels to me...
Or rather I admire the so/sp type and believe that I am some part of what I adore.

I read so/sp type 9 and I don't really relate to it.
I actually related to the 4w5 so/sp, not the 5w4, which makes this even more weird.

It mentioned wanted to feel accepted and fit in with everyone, and I just simply don't care about a lot of people. I want to feel accepted by my loved ones and those who I have made bonds with. I have no desire to be "accepted" by the world at large, I don't even think about that. My social instinct is last, and it really shows in my life.
That's the part about the description I don't agree with, either. What in the 4w5 so/sp description I identified with was the "critic of social currents" bit. That strongly resonates with me, and that's a part I know I am.

What you said earlier really sums up the sx lasts. Everyone likes them, but no one knows much about them. My INFJ 6w5 sp/so best friend has a ton of girls that like him and are interested in him, but he just doesn't really care and just likes talking to people for the sake of it. He has a lot of people that talk to him and he doesn't really know why.
Yeah, but I don't feel I'm that way at all - although people have told me that I am. I think most of the time I'm pretty cynical and annoying of which I tend to tone down when I'm around more people, habit I suppose, but I don't believe that's who I am.

Wow, I've hijacked this thread. I'm sorry.