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  1. #21
    Senior Member bluebell's Avatar
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    I posted about this at the other place in the past few days. As far as I can tell, I'm INTP, 5w6 so/sx. (yes, 5w6 so/sx is somewhat rare)

    From here (you can click on the other stackings for the other enneagram types, 5w6 so/sx is likely to be somewhat different to other so/sx types given what 5s are like):

    Social/Sexual

    When reasonably healthy, people of this subtype can be very engaging (for a Five). They smile a lot and are often friendly. Their energy is quite different from the social/self-pres subtype because both the social and sexual energies push outwards, and so partly balance out some of the withdrawing tendencies of the Five. This doesn't mean that people of this subtype are necessarily any healthier however. The outgoing energy is not the result of true integration to Eight but is the result of the compulsive pull of the instincts.

    People of this subtype are usually warm and when feeling secure are likely to let people in and even to initiate contact. When they feel insecure however, they can actually go to the other extreme and be very shy. For this reason, people of this subtype could easily be mistyped; those Fives who withdraw from social contact because of feelings of insecurity, might not seem like social subtypes at all. It might not be obvious that they actually very much desire contact. For people of this subtype, the social instinct actually works as a release value for the sexual component. When relaxed and comfortable with others, the sexual instinct can easily be seen.

    People of this subtype are very aware of how they "fit in", and also experience the sexual drive of wanting to connect with intimates. Like other social/sexual subtypes, they have the tendency to cultivate many relationships. They want to be liked by everyone, but being Fives they also tend to hold a part of themselves back for fear of rejection or of being overwhelmed by the demands of the relationship. This subtype of Five is more likely to fear rejection than the other subtypes of Five. Because both of the dominant instincts are focused on people, any failure in the realm of interpersonal relationships triggers a fear that there is no safety in the world.

    Personality systems like the Enneagram function as tool to help this subtype of Five to feel safe in the world. People of this subtype tend to think that the more they understand people, the less chance they have of being rejected. This tends to be a blind spot for people of this subtype as they don't see that what will actually help them to become healthier is gaining more life experience. This will help them to see that their world will not come to an end with a little rejection.
    And recycling what I wrote at the other place about what I'm like in practice as a 5w6 so/sx, with some edits:

    When I first started getting into Enneagram at a shallow level, I thought I was sp (self-preservation). But, it doesn't really capture what I'm really like IRL. I'd noticed for a while doing the online MBTI tests and a couple of personality tests I had to do at work that even though I test as a heavy introvert, I always answer 'wide circle of friends and acquaintances' rather than the usual introvert answer of 'a couple of close friends'. I have no close friends IRL, but there are about 30 or 40 people I could ring and say come over for dinner or lets go out for coffee (which I rarely do, but it's always there as an option and I often have low-grade background guilt that I so rarely do this).

    I also became aware sometime last year that perceived rejection from anyone was the one thing that was guaranteed to send me into a rapid severe downward spiral. I've had to work really hard at trying to overcome that, but it still rears its ugly head at times and I tend to need external feedback to snap out of it. Also, looking back, this makes sense of the endless complaints in my blog about being frustrated about lack of depth and connection with various friends but at the same time, holding myself back. That's changed a bit since I moved out and it's been good.

    But the main reason why this so/sx rings true is how I am at work. I am a compulsive networker. A couple of years ago at work (before our organisation expanded and restructured a gazillion times), I used to know about 100+ (maybe 200? I can't remember now) people by name. I had a contact in most teams and knew what networks they were tapped into. I was always the go-to person in my team if someone needed a contact in a particular area, and as well as giving them a name, I'd also give a potted bio, including key weaknesses and strengths, how trustworthy/reliable the person was and any important personality clashes that my colleague needed to be aware of when talking to the contact. This was all in my head, never needed to look any of this up or write it down anywhere, except for phone numbers.

    For various reasons, I've now lost most of those internal networks. But, thinking about it, it's also because the projects I work on these days are very externally focussed. I still do the compulsive networking and connecting people who need to be connected to progress their work but only outside my organisation, or occasionally within my team.

    I find it really easy to pick up the politics internally and externally with the various organisations we interact with - how to influence, what to avoid, how to progress multiple agendas at once by various actions, setting things up now to allow progress a few years down the track for stuff that I can see looming on the horizon etc. This is despite being fairly clueless with interpersonal skills (I've had to work really hard at that in order to be able to convert abstract political knowledge into concrete outcomes). In the past, I was too junior and unconfident to influence things directly, but I always knew who was the key person to have a quiet word to so that whatever needed to happen would happen. Behind the scenes ftw.
    ...so much smoke pouring out of each chromosome.

  2. #22
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    I relate alot to this

    soc/sx
    This type has very strong one to one social skills, but is usually uncomfortable in group settings. They enjoy cultivating multiple relationships, and can be intensely involved when in the presence of someone they are interested in, but have difficulty sustaining these bonds when apart. This may give the impression of being flighty and rootless, willing to adapt and mirror others in order to connect, but lacking a defined approach that would give their relationships a more solid standing. They may have political interests, but are generally more pragmatic and less partisan than the other social variant. They are often attuned to pop culture and the latest trends. This type's motivation is to create lasting connections with those they are interested in - the "best friend."
    I am horrible at sustaining bonds when apart, but in a one-on-one setting it comes alot easier. Even in a group setting I tend to focus on a single person at a time. If their are alot of people I know closely in that group I tend to float from person to person instead of treating things as one big group.




    I relate to bolded part below and not to the unbolded parts.
    sp/sx
    These people often have an earthy, mysterious quality to them. They are quietly intense, but to others may seem oblivious to the greater social world around them, instead favoring personal interests. They are slow to commit, but once they do it is with an attitude of life commitment, to the establishment of an impermeable bond. Others can be taken aback by how suddenly and completely this type can lock into them, and by the depth of understanding of the other's condition. They attach to others at an organic, root level, in contrast to the other subvariant's surface formality. Somewhat hesitant to enter new relationships, they instead preserve the select few enduring bonds they carefully form along the way. The sanctuary of home is of paramount concern, and this type takes particular delight in decorating their spaces to reflect their cherished sense of taste and depth. Depth and discrimination characterize this stacking.

    Motivation: to live in a secure, comfortable environment where they can pursue their private interests in depth.

    Familiar Roles: the mate, the mystic, the quiet supporter.
    Im out, its been fun

  3. #23
    Senior Member souffle's Avatar
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    This thread has been inactive for a little while. Let's see what I can do about that.

    Pretty sure I'm an sx/so myself- I just wanted to say a bit about comparing sx's to so's in general though.

    I find that in social situations I gravitate towards one person, usually the person in the room who I admire the most, and try to stick with them for as long as possible. Then, even as they become preoccupied elsewhere and engage in conversation with other people, I just hang around nearby, talk to others, pretend to be occupied, until the next opportunity comes to ensnare the admired person in one on one conversation. Or, alternatively, just always make sure I'm standing around in the same group conversation as them.

    I imagine so's would be better at moving from person to person and constantly changing the focus of their attentions.


    I thought of a metaphor to describe the difference in our social interactions- so's are like butterflies, gracefully flitting from flower to flower, while sx's are like bees- attaching ourselves to one flower and sucking all the nectar that we can.

  4. #24
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Necroing because this is interesting.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lethe View Post
    I think being a so/sx variant myself, I have a 'different' radar for sx/so's where I can distinguish them pretty easily. Like Bubbles, I agree that their intensity range gives them away. I'm much more light-hearted, adaptive (with social first & sp last), and slower to engage on a very personal level in comparison. We love creating that good camaraderie, but the sx/so seems to take it further by speaking from an intimate, couple-like perspective with a natural ease. I also think they are a little more selective in who they choose to create those bonds with, and will often times speak much about their immediate circle.

    For a....

    So/Sx: It's all about the world/community, and sometimes where you or we stand.
    Sx/So: It's all about You and Us! And sometimes the world, depending on their mood.

    *Take this post with a grain of salt.
    Yes, exactly. Or at least, on the Sx/So radar, it's about You and Me and how we fit into the big picture. It feels like everything has to start with You and Me, because there's the bigger picture is a whole lot of You and Mes. We tend to jump straight into intimate conversation, establishing ourselves in relation to the other and establishing the other in relation to ourselves, and yes, it's totally an immediate instinct to form a "couple" with whoever you are engaging with.

    Quote Originally Posted by souffle View Post
    I find that in social situations I gravitate towards one person, usually the person in the room who I admire the most, and try to stick with them for as long as possible. Then, even as they become preoccupied elsewhere and engage in conversation with other people, I just hang around nearby, talk to others, pretend to be occupied, until the next opportunity comes to ensnare the admired person in one on one conversation. Or, alternatively, just always make sure I'm standing around in the same group conversation as them.

    I imagine so's would be better at moving from person to person and constantly changing the focus of their attentions.
    Yes! I do the same thing at group gatherings. I love them, but I really tend to hold to one person - usually my SO, closest friend, closest family member, or whoever I came in with. Or my target, if I'm crushing on someone!

    I think there are a few really solid clues to identify an Sx-dom. They're the kid who ALWAYS has a best friend growing up, and it's really obvious who that person is. If they're in a romantic relationship, it's very obvious too, and that relationship is their priority at all times. They will have a handful of pet hobbies and causes that you will hear about ALL the time. They also have a really clear established hierarchy of 1-on-1 relationships, and they will always leave Person B for Person A, unless there's some kind of crisis that makes Person B a priority - but even then, they will demonstrate a level of "camaraderie" with Person A in their mutual focus on Person B. Sx/Sp is "us against the world", and Sx/Sp is "us with the world". Sx/So will always orient themselves with someone/something, looking out at the greater sphere.

    Whereas it seems like So-doms naturally are a "part" of the greater sphere, and So/Sx look "in" on individuals, like someone peeking inside a window.

    I thought of a metaphor to describe the difference in our social interactions- so's are like butterflies, gracefully flitting from flower to flower, while sx's are like bees- attaching ourselves to one flower and sucking all the nectar that we can.
    I love this!

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