Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts compatibility with instinctual subtypes

[the state i am in]

i'm wondering if anyone has a working theory or observations about compatibility with other instinctual subtypes.

i'm an sx/sp, and i usually like so/sx and find it attractive, but i feel a bit threatened by it bc i see it as straying, suggestible, etc. it's very affable and open, but it's kind of "ooh look, something shiny!" it just gets spread too thin, or, it doesn't replenish itself and it doesn't seem to say no that well. it knows how to flirt, play with mood, engage others, and make them feel recognized VERY well.

sx/so seems very powerful, demanding, assertive, and pushy. i like it generally, and when engaged it's great. but it's definitely ready to immediately brush something aside that is not exactly what it wants, and its backup plan is to throw out as many feelers as possible and sort it out later. extremely impulsive.

so/sp is the most loyal and trustworthy, i find. it needs time alone and can't be pressured into doing something, but it will easily get caught up in the group and enjoy the comradery and go along with the desires of others. but it needs time to sort out what means what to it. prioritize, etc.

sp/sx i don't understand very well. the two sp/sx people i know are very high-strung and always monitoring themselves, but getting less feedback as to how others actually feel about them. it's a constant state of worry and resentment. seems high-strung. at first they seem meek, but there is something very strong burning underneath. i want to understand this better.

sp/so i don't have any instances where i can think of this type.

sx/sp seems very intense, a bit more counterphobic, darker, and more conflicted. it seems so all-or-nothing. so aware of over-extending itself, putting up a guard, withdrawing for individual renewal. in the few examples i've seen and in myself, it seems a little neurotic or paranoid. it seems a little hot/cold, on/off.

i feel very challenged by the different instinctual energies when i encounter them. and i think they're actually a big source of conflict for people, or a problem that needs to be handled well, really definitive in understanding how people construct boundaries of space, how their polarities/charges work, how they balance their energies, etc.

 

[BlackCat]

I feel exactly the same way about so/sx's as you do. I like them, but I also am intimidated by and don't trust the social first. I hate the suggestible thing...

I like sp/so types a lot. But I've never gotten really close, I imagine that the sexual last must be strange. But I've never really felt any "walls" with sp/so types.

I think I would be most compatible with another sx/sp. Least compatible with so/sp.

sp/sx is weird... they are so withdrawn. It's like they could care less if you noticed them; since they only seem to be concerned with their own world.

 

[the state i am in]

I feel exactly the same way about so/sx's as you do. I like them, but I also am intimidated by and don't trust the social first. I hate the suggestible thing...

I like sp/so types a lot. But I've never gotten really close, I imagine that the sexual last must be strange. But I've never really felt any "walls" with sp/so types.

I think I would be most compatible with another sx/sp. Least compatible with so/sp.

sp/sx is weird... they are so withdrawn. It's like they could care less if you noticed them; since they only seem to be concerned with their own world.

i like your thoughts here. in a relationship setting, so/sx makes me feel like i have to be protective, which is a role i absolutely despise. i can see what the dude is thinking, and i'm just like, jesus fucking christ. it puts me in this awkward role where i don't really want to let those people in, and i don't naturally trust them. i'm aware of the negative possibilities of the situation, which is ok, but at the same time i recognize/imagine how i would feel in her shoes. and i'm much more directed where if i'm really flirty, and becoming drawn in and focused, i'm probably really digging this other person. and i purposefully avoid that situation, bc it feels problematic for me. it makes me feel highly inconsistent and somewhat inauthentic in the relationship.

i don't know what sx/sp would feel like. i have friends that are sx/sp, but no females.

i think getting over this so/sx conflict is a big deal to improving myself. i could see sx/so as well, but there it seems too easy to get bowled over by the whims of someone else. seems too aggressive for me to be able to assert myself.

 

[BlackCat]

i like your thoughts here. in a relationship setting, so/sx makes me feel like i have to be protective, which is a role i absolutely despise. i can see what the dude is thinking, and i'm just like, jesus fucking christ. it puts me in this awkward role where i don't really want to let those people in, and i don't naturally trust them. i'm aware of the negative possibilities of the situation, which is ok, but at the same time i recognize/imagine how i would feel in her shoes. and i'm much more directed where if i'm really flirty, and becoming drawn in and focused, i'm probably really digging this other person. and i purposefully avoid that situation, bc it feels problematic for me. it makes me feel highly inconsistent and somewhat inauthentic in the relationship.

i don't know what sx/sp would feel like. i have friends that are sx/sp, but no females.

i think getting over this so/sx conflict is a big deal to improving myself. i could see sx/so as well, but there it seems too easy to get bowled over by the whims of someone else. seems too aggressive for me to be able to assert myself.

To be honest, I didn't really put much thought into my last post. So I'll try harder this time.

I think with sp last with so/sx is how we feel protective. I always seem to find flaws with them (and I'm sure that they see flaws in me too because of social last). And again... I agree with your insight. I've also had to get over my distrust of social first when getting closer to a few so/sx's in my life. I still get this nagging feeling in the back of my head that feels like I'm in a place that I really don't want to be and want to leave when talking to social firsts.

As for sx/sp I think I would be the most comfortable with another one because we would understand each other. I think that we would have a fun time being anti social together because we want that intense 1 on 1 bond but we don't tend to think about socializing/social instinct stuff.

 

[Bay]

who would be compatible with an entp 8w7 sp/sx or sx/sp? im serious

 

[Amargith]

I tend to like those with sx-sp or sp-sx...I love their passion, drive and survival instincts

Though I can see sx-so and so-sx also being very appealing..wouldn't be the first time one of those swept me of my feet

 

[speculative]

sp/so i don't have any instances where i can think of this type.

I'm sp/so; if you have any questions just shoot.

 

[SUPER]

im also sx/sp... another sx is ideal.... sp/sx and soc/sx are do-able... sx-last not so much

 

[SUPER]

i actually like soc/sx... they are so easy. get over stuff quick and dont hold grudges as much as other types. not too heavy (like other sx types). I never worry about them. I let them do their own thing and i know theyll reach out for me eventually.

Most of my friends are soc/sx or sx/soc

 

[Tiltyred]

How do you know what the type after the slash is? The only test I've seen for this only gives one variant -- it tells me I'm a 4w5 sp. Doesn't say anything about anything else.

 

[TheEmeraldCanopy]

How do you know what the type after the slash is? The only test I've seen for this only gives one variant -- it tells me I'm a 4w5 sp. Doesn't say anything about anything else.

This test breaks down your variant results into percentages:

Variant Test

(Just select your gender and go lol)