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  1. #1
    ThatGirl
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    Default Nature Vs. ThatGirl

    Ok! It is no secret that nature and I have never mixed well. I am that girl that everyone says what a good dog they have and then it is nipping at my ankles. Thank God for domesticated structures.

    So I am no genius but I can tell when patterns begin to hold innconsistancies. Lately it seems like nature has had it in for me.

    In the last month, (after years of no problems), I have encountered:

    1. A pack of "killer" squirles line up in fron of me at random. At least ten all on their hind legs staring right at me.

    2. I had a bird perch on the awning above me and throw wood chips at my head.

    3. I had a recent family of mice take up residence in my home. I found out when I woke up to one on my bed. These are agressive rodents.

    4. I almost killed my dog. That no one even knew existed until it was injured.

    5. Had to trap three lizards.

    6. Was bit by a poisionous spider that released neurotoxins.


    WTF. Is nature out to get me?

  2. #2
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    Nature, or paranoid schizophrenia?

  3. #3
    ThatGirl
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    Possibly a combination of both.

    Maybe the big one is comming! *off to make my sandwhich sign*

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Possibly a combination of both.

    Maybe the big one is comming! *off to make my sandwhich sign*
    Uh, which sign? I kid, I kid.

  5. #5
    ThatGirl
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    right then....carry on....

  6. #6
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    That's funny! For me even mosquitos are leary of biting me. I also have a habit of staring at squirrels as if they're my next meal so they give me my space. Even crows make sure they're fairly high up a tree before they dream of cawing at me. The only local fauna I haven't had interactions with are cougars, grizzlies, and wolves - the rest either love me or keep a respectful distance.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #7
    Senior Member reason's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    WTF. Is nature out to get me?
    Wow. It's like that movie, Final Destination, but without the plane crash and old black guy with the coarse voice.
    A criticism that can be brought against everything ought not to be brought against anything.

  8. #8
    Branded with Satan murkrow's Avatar
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    Kill the mice yet?
    wails from the crypt.

  9. #9
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Ok! It is no secret that nature and I have never mixed well. I am that girl that everyone says what a good dog they have and then it is nipping at my ankles. Thank God for domesticated structures.


    This is funny, but I'm going to pick it apart in the spirit of gool old NT fun and humor....


    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    1. A pack of "killer" squirles line up in fron of me at random. At least ten all on their hind legs staring right at me.
    Not normal behavior at all indeed! Someone had obviously been feeding them. Were you eating at the time or carrying food?

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    2. I had a bird perch on the awning above me and throw wood chips at my head.
    Maybe there was a nest nearby it was "defending." I suggest a simple hat as an adequate defense. Besides, the bird was actually being nice to you. They've been known to engage in certain *ahem* "biological warfare" tactics.

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    3. I had a recent family of mice take up residence in my home. I found out when I woke up to one on my bed. These are agressive rodents.
    That is strange, but you probably won't deny that your bed is the warmest coziest place in the house. It's also a sign you need to seal any external openings which are large enough to fit a pencil eraser with expanding foam sealant.

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    4. I almost killed my dog. That no one even knew existed until it was injured.
    Good going, ya cruel, cold-hearted NT! :steam: Care to share any incriminating details? Some of us balance our N with our T you know.

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    5. Had to trap three lizards.
    Why? Were you hungry?

    Sealing for the mice should seal out the Reptilians.

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    6. Was bit by a poisionous spider that released neurotoxins.
    Ouch. Black widow in a pile of firewood perhaps? That's a classic hideout for them.

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    WTF. Is nature out to get me?
    No, but your fear and lack of understanding of it has already gotten you.

    Edit: By the way, if you think you have problems now, just remember that nature could get even scarier.

  10. #10
    ThatGirl
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    Running total:

    Nature: Billions
    Thatgirl:...2...and counting

    Nature log:

    I haven't slept well in days. At night I can hear the sounds of nature closing in upon me. As though at any moment I will come to understand the meaning behind these random events. I am not sure that I want to know. What does it hold? This is messing with my mind. Any time I feel the wind gently brush across me arm I jump in fright. Am I loosing my grip? I woke in the morning to find a scratch on my neck. I could have sworn it wasn't there before. Was it them? They must die. I fear the worst. Rabies.... the Plauge. I am watching myself for signs of erratic behavior........it is not looking good. I stand tall and shout to nature "Can't we just agree to disagree?!" As I rock myself to sleep I repeat to myself "battles my friend, not war" I must win.........must.


    Stupid mice with their "I am so cool I can collapse my skeleton and invade your dwelling!" attitude. Technically they were dead the second they decided to enter my unit.

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