How many children would you ideally like to have (bio or otherwise)?

[Galena]

I don't believe it's for me, either. If I ever changed on this, though, would adopt no more than two.

 

[OrangeAppled]

For some weird reason, I changed mind and would like to have 2 or 3 children, providing I find an awesome partner.

Biological clock, eh? Sperm starting to swim slower?

----

I don't want kids. Never have, and I don't expect to change my mind. I don't find them to be evil nuisances and a notch above slobbering dogs anymore; in fact, I enjoy a few as much as I can be expected to enjoy any human with very limited reasoning capacity. However, this doesn't make me desire my own, and I get my fill through some work I do and my friend's kids.

I simply don't have the urge to nurture - I like kids as human specimens to observe, finding the development of their mental and emotional capacities interesting. But I just get nothing out of making them breakfast or tying their shoes. Taking care of people is not fulfilling to me. That is not to say I am incapable of it. I've taken care of pets very well, especially when ill or needing special grooming, but that's not what I LIKE about them. I really think some people do get purpose out of this, which is valid, but I just don't. At most, I can enjoy teaching children, because it connects back to the witnessing of their brains expanding.

 

[Polaris]

I wouldn't mind dating a guy who had a child of his own (at one point I was aiming to do so), provided the child was old enough not to need diaper changes or be prone to crying on a frequent basis. I have very little desire to produce any kiddies of my own, though. I'm not really a baby person--I view babies as being investments that don't start paying off until a few years have passed--and I'm not keen on contributing to the overpopulation problem or creating little clones of myself. My only regret, really, would be the loss of an opportunity to keep a tiny bit of myself living on after my death. I also wonder if there might be something in this mess of a genetic code that's worth passing on to future generations. I do like having family around, but, once again, I don't really like the idea of creating semi-likenesses of myself. As it is, I get about as much of myself as I can tolerate.

EDIT: I'm a male.

 

[Rasofy]

Biological clock, eh? Sperm starting to swim slower?

Lol. It is an existential thing, I feel like I need to give my life some meaning. I don't feel ready to die, which I suppose is normal, but I think having children will be a step in the way of feeling like my existence here served its purpose. Also, I feel like parenting would make me a more mature person, more able to respect ignorance as a natural state (INTPs seem to suck at it). Generally speaking, well married people with kids are regarded as more trustworthy, which opens doors professionally. Finally, I think children would make a marriage much more likely to succeed (not a guarantee, ofc). I'd start thinking in terms of what is best for the whole family instead of what is best for me.

 

[Riva]

Always wanted to have 3.

Preferably 2 boys and 1 girl.

 

[alcea rosea]

I wanted to have 3 and so I had them.

 

[Fidelia]

Used to think I wanted four. Now, I don't plan to have any, but I have a lot of other children that I am kind of in a mother/aunty role for, so it kind of fills that spot.

 

[Bush]

One or two. In the former case, we're already there*. The latter, 50% there.

No more than two. Thank God that we agree on that.

I also don't believe that we have an obligation to society or to our families to reproduce. Screw that; we're doing it because we want to.


*well, he's still in the process of cooking. Soon enough.

 

[Comeback Girl]

3. I want my children not to grow up as only children, so one isn't an option. Two isn't an option either, because if one of them dies, the other one ends up being all alone anyway. If I have three children and one of them dies, the two remaining children still have each other (and I don't expect two out of three children to die before I'm dead). But I don't want any more than three children, because that won't fit on the back seat of a car. I don't really care what gender they'll be, as long as they like cuddling with their mommy

 

[OrangeAppled]

Lol. It is an existential thing, I feel like I need to give my life some meaning. I don't feel ready to die, which I suppose is normal, but I think having children will be a step in the way of feeling like my existence here served its purpose. Also, I feel like parenting would make me a more mature person, more able to respect ignorance as a natural state (INTPs seem to suck at it). Generally speaking, well married people with kids are regarded as more trustworthy, which opens doors professionally. Finally, I think children would make a marriage much more likely to succeed (not a guarantee, ofc). I'd start thinking in terms of what is best for the whole family instead of what is best for me.

I tend to think you have to cultivate some of this BEFORE having kids or getting married though. I do understand how it forces you to think about someone other than yourself, but many people don't magically transform into a more selfless person upon having children or getting married - and then who suffers?

I think if you are in the mindset that these things are necessary and that you intend to do them, then that's a good thing. I mean, I think some people don't even contemplate this at all.

I wouldn't mind dating a guy who had a child of his own (at one point I was aiming to do so), provided the child was old enough not to need diaper changes or be prone to crying on a frequent basis. I have very little desire to produce any kiddies of my own, though. I'm not really a baby person--I view babies as being investments that don't start paying off until a few years have passed--and I'm not keen on contributing to the overpopulation problem or creating little clones of myself. My only regret, really, would be the loss of an opportunity to keep a tiny bit of myself living on after my death. I also wonder if there might be something in this mess of a genetic code that's worth passing on to future generations. I do like having family around, but, once again, I don't really like the idea of creating semi-likenesses of myself. As it is, I get about as much of myself as I can tolerate.

EDIT: I'm a male.

I tend to have this view of babies also. They're usually ugly and they really don't do anything, but they sure NEED a lot. Kids aren't interesting until they can talk, IMO, or at last move around and do silly stuff. The fact that I view them in terms of my own personal amusement shows I am not really interested in parenting.

The legacy thing is strange to me and something I notice men speak of more (and perhaps why naming a child after themselves and passing down their family name and material possessions seems more of a concern for men).

My interest in spawning would be in raising another human being to be as amazing as possible, which puts a whole lot of pressure on the kid and is probably more about my ego anyway. There may be some "vicarious living" going there, which is not all that different from securing "immortality" through another's life, but is more like creating meaning where you failed to do so on your own.

There is always that risk of your kid growing up and hating you no matter how good a parent you were. When I've seen that happen, and considering how many people bitch about their parents, it doesn't make me imagine parenthood is filled with reciprocal love. It really has to be unselfish, without any expectation that this other being will bring anything to your life.

 

[Flâneuse]

Why the change of heart?

My belief that I could handle kids was based entirely on wishful thinking. In reality, I'm too self-centered, selfish even, and I've become more realistic about the fact that I'm not just going to suddenly snap out of the negative behavioral patterns I've been locked in since my early teens. I do have a nurturing instinct, but it comes and goes erratically -- I'll be very giving for a while and then I'll go right back to not wanting to be bothered or have any demands made on me. I'm going to leave the parenting to people who don't have this problem.

 

[Evee]

Two, a lad and a lass preferably.

 

[skylights]

Female, 2-3. Two makes more sense economically, and I had a happy childhood with 2. So I could probably stop there. But 3 just sounds fun.

As for why... because I like children. Because taking care of them doesn't bother me. Because I like having new adventures every day and because I would like to do my best to make happy lives. Because it'd be neat to see the combination of my genes and the genes of someone I love. Given, I might adopt after one, for medical reasons. And because I love family more than anything else in the world. As much as I like to go hide in a quiet corner, I also prefer life with the bustling ins and outs of people and lots of love to go around.

 

[Rasofy]

I tend to think you have to cultivate some of this BEFORE having kids or getting married though.¹ I do understand how it forces you to think about someone other than yourself, but many people don't magically transform into a more selfless person upon having children or getting married - and then who suffers?²

I think if you are in the mindset that these things are necessary and that you intend to do them, then that's a good thing. I mean, I think some people don't even contemplate this at all.³

¹Definitely
²Biologically, it would be a selfish interest, anyways. Believe in oxytocin, my dear Orangeappled.
³Justifications for having money-sucking/time-sucking/tit-sucking children usually don't look good enough, and I guess they aren't supposed to. Rationalizations (or lack thereof) behind their conception don't define how well the children will be raised.

 

[Red Herring]

3. I want my children not to grow up as only children, so one isn't an option. Two isn't an option either, because if one of them dies, the other one ends up being all alone anyway. If I have three children and one of them dies, the two remaining children still have each other (and I don't expect two out of three children to die before I'm dead). But I don't want any more than three children, because that won't fit on the back seat of a car. I don't really care what gender they'll be, as long as they like cuddling with their mommy

Do you live in a war zone?

 

[FDG]

3 kids ideally but 2 seems wiser from a financial pov. main reasons being: I've honestly lived (so far) a great life and I want to give someone else this opportunity (unselfish reason), i would also love to see an "own" creature developing from scratch and having an ability to slightly influence his-her development (selfish reason).

 

[Jaguar]

Do dogs and cats count as children?

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

2

 

[Bush]

Do dogs and cats count as children?

If they won't shut up with their barking and meowing, then yes.

 

[Codex]

0 or 4. No in between. Preferably zero