My belief that I could handle kids was based entirely on wishful thinking. In reality, I'm too self-centered, selfish even, and I've become more realistic about the fact that I'm not just going to suddenly snap out of the negative behavioral patterns I've been locked in since my early teens. I do have a nurturing instinct, but it comes and goes erratically -- I'll be very giving for a while and then I'll go right back to not wanting to be bothered or have any demands made on me. I'm going to leave the parenting to people who don't have this problem.
“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.” - Hermann Hesse
Female, 2-3. Two makes more sense economically, and I had a happy childhood with 2. So I could probably stop there. But 3 just sounds fun.
As for why... because I like children. Because taking care of them doesn't bother me. Because I like having new adventures every day and because I would like to do my best to make happy lives. Because it'd be neat to see the combination of my genes and the genes of someone I love. Given, I might adopt after one, for medical reasons. And because I love family more than anything else in the world. As much as I like to go hide in a quiet corner, I also prefer life with the bustling ins and outs of people and lots of love to go around.
I tend to think you have to cultivate some of this BEFORE having kids or getting married though.¹ I do understand how it forces you to think about someone other than yourself, but many people don't magically transform into a more selfless person upon having children or getting married - and then who suffers?²
I think if you are in the mindset that these things are necessary and that you intend to do them, then that's a good thing. I mean, I think some people don't even contemplate this at all.³
²Biologically, it would be a selfish interest, anyways. Believe in oxytocin, my dear Orangeappled.
³Justifications for having money-sucking/time-sucking/tit-sucking children usually don't look good enough, and I guess they aren't supposed to. Rationalizations (or lack thereof) behind their conception don't define how well the children will be raised.
3. I want my children not to grow up as only children, so one isn't an option. Two isn't an option either, because if one of them dies, the other one ends up being all alone anyway. If I have three children and one of them dies, the two remaining children still have each other (and I don't expect two out of three children to die before I'm dead). But I don't want any more than three children, because that won't fit on the back seat of a car. I don't really care what gender they'll be, as long as they like cuddling with their mommy
Do you live in a war zone?
The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. Neither love without knowledge, nor knowledge without love can produce a good life. - Bertrand Russell A herring's blog Johari / Nohari
3 kids ideally but 2 seems wiser from a financial pov. main reasons being: I've honestly lived (so far) a great life and I want to give someone else this opportunity (unselfish reason), i would also love to see an "own" creature developing from scratch and having an ability to slightly influence his-her development (selfish reason).