jumping cats = total bastards

[miss fortune]

the cats are assholes... no matter how often I remove them from countertops, kitchen islands or dresser tops where they should NOT be, they keep jumping right back up there... this evening one of the little bastards jumped up onto some cupcakes I had sitting on the counter, which pissed me off and distracted me from the cabbage I was trying to cut in half, causing me to slice my thumb

the horrible little creature was right back up there in a minute... this time licking up the blood that I'd dripped across the counter

a. are cats vampires?

b. is there any way to keep them from jumping places where they shouldn't short of tying their tails to cannonballs or cutting off their feet?

 

[Thalassa]

Cats aren't assholes. They instinctively want to be AT THE HIGHEST PLACE. They share this instinct with big cats.

Buy them kitty houses, towers, or some other tall object they are allowed to be on top of.

 

[miss fortune]

they have LOTS of high places that they are allowed to be... including some shelving systems taller than me! However, it is NOT acceptable to jump onto the counter and they can't seem to understand this... dogs are so much easier to teach

 

[Jaguar]

I'm a total bastard?

 

[miss fortune]

I'm a total bastard?

I'm sure that some people would think so, but I was referring to the type who are small and tend to meow around in people's houses and such!

 

[Thalassa]

they have LOTS of high places that they are allowed to be... including some shelving systems taller than me! However, it is NOT acceptable to jump onto the counter and they can't seem to understand this... dogs are so much easier to teach

All of the cats in the house where I live were trained to stay off of food surfaces with water guns. I recommend them.

But kittens can be a handful, if you've got young ones.

 

[miss fortune]

they're about 6 months old

really though, NEVER destroy my cupcakes

 

[Z Buck McFate]

Get a spray bottle and fill it with water. Or use a water gun, but a spray bottle will leak less and make less of a mess overall. Cats HATE water. If you spray them with a water every time they do something you don't want them to do, they will stop. And after the first couple of squirts, it's even usually enough to just shake the bottle (the sound alone starts deterring them).

 

[Octarine]

I haven't known any vampire cats before. But I had a cat like this once (he was half-feral, so he was a scavenger and unfortunately, a vicious hunter too..). I dealt with it by pushing him straight off (in a rather rapid manner) whenever he would jump up and he soon learned not to do it. He still did it to others in the family who weren't so assertive though, so... The water method works too, except for the odd cat that actually likes water.

 

[Inverness]

Cat's always like to have the highest elevation advantage for a reason:

 

[Amargith]

The spray bottle works..but make sure they don't notice you doing it, otherwise the link of you+waterbottle is easily made. Also, some indoor cats aren't bothered by water as they have no clue why they're supposed to be afraid of it (outdoor cats however..they know)

Here's the professional's trick: Get yourself some really cheap plastic placemats and some double sided sticky tape, and some baking paper. A fishing rod toy also helps.

Then, you stick the tape to the place mats and put them in the places where the cats are not allowed to come. Leave them there 2-3 weeks minimum. If you need the spot, remove the place mats and cover them with baking paper, so you can reuse them later (and they don't get stuck to each other when you stack em). Otherwise, leave it in place.

Meanwhile, make the other spots where they're allowed to jump more attractive. Add a blanky for snoozing, use a fishing rod toy to entice them to jump over there. Leave little treats there that they love. That way they'll soon associate those spots with the 'The Place To Be'.


Expect place mats to come thundering down, when they jump on them and first experience the sticky tape on their paws and panicking. Expect it to happen less and less, but still once a while, during those weeks. They've always been able to jump on there, so they're bound to try first harder before they stop it all together. And expect them to try again in like 4 months after they've learned not to (just to test it out). Be firm and just readminister the treatment. It's normal behavior, so don't despair. Also, do NOT start this to then NOT finish it. Otherwise they'll just learn to jump there more often and more carefully as you haven' been consistent. (And then it takes longer to train that scouting behavior out of them).

If for any reason they're not bothered by the sticky tape (which I sincerely doubt), you can use other things they don't like that much, like cans with pennies in and a bit of tape on the top so it makes a lot of noise and scares the living daylights out of them when jumping on there. Mine however, are less impressed by that, but some cats really learn their lessons from that. Just expect to put several cans a day back in its spot while they learn the lesson


Lastly, think about the one spot they somehow want to be at, consistently and wonder what's so attractive about it. Is it the highest in the house? Is it near where the action is (where the family/you are a lot), do they get a great overview of the room? Is it an easy passage way to somewhere? What is it about that spot that makes them choose it instead of the spots they're allowed to jump on. If there is a reason, it might be harder to train it out of them and you *might* wanna consider opening it up to them to jump on and putting your things elsewhere..which is something you'll have to do temporarily anyways if you do decide to train them with the placemats. Kitchen counters are easy: it's food. You won't *ever* be able to teach them never to go there, as food is self-rewarding for them. You can only discourage it by doing the place mat thing when you're not cooking and the spray bottle thing when you are.

 

[SilkRoad]

This isn't going to help you out, but I think "jumping cats = total bastards" is an awesome title for a thread. Rivalled only by Jaguar's "Hug = Jewish Guy" a while ago.

 

[Randomnity]

most cats can be trained to stay off, especially since they're only 6 months old. Some good suggestions here, but most important is that every single time they do it, they're immediately removed. Not 50% or 90% or 99% but every time.

I especially like the double-sided tape idea. Loose sheets of tin foil is another method for when you're not home.

 

[uncommonentity]

I'll be packing a super soaker when the cat war begins.

 

[Totenkindly]

Yes, my cat definitely seeks the highest place. He prefers to sit on the top of the sofa rather than on my lap, when I'm watching TV... he'll literally get up after 30 seconds, climb up me / jump, and take his spot up there. He's also been on top of the speakers and the TV set, and also on the window sills in my bed room. Fortunately he can't get up onto the higher stuff.

He's also managed to open doors. The little bastard. I've watched him freak out when he wanted out of my bedroom -- he jumped up, grabbed the doorknob, and swung back and forth until he got it open, then ran out of the room. I was like "WTH?????" He's only done it once, but he simultaneously pisses me off as well as amazes me with his intelligence and craftiness.

Get a spray bottle and fill it with water. Or use a water gun, but a spray bottle will leak less and make less of a mess overall. Cats HATE water. If you spray them with a water every time they do something you don't want them to do, they will stop. And after the first couple of squirts, it's even usually enough to just shake the bottle (the sound alone starts deterring them).

Well, that's bullshit (no offense meant, I'm actually laughing).

I tried that.
You know what happened?

The cat is totally afraid of the water bottle, and he will run if I spray him, maybe even just point it at him.

So he just waits until I don't have the bottle or I'm out of the room, and then immediately he's on the counter. In fact, I've been at the counter, and if he sees I am without the bottle, he consistently will even hop on the counter and walk toward me as if he belongs there. Of course, all I have to do is raise my voice at him ("VOICE OF COMMAND") and he immediately gets the hell out of Dodge. So he knows he's not supposed to be up there.

Damn him!

most cats can be trained to stay off, especially since they're only 6 months old. Some good suggestions here, but most important is that every single time they do it, they're immediately removed. Not 50% or 90% or 99% but every time.

Yeah. Well, considering he will do it when I'm not in the room, he's getting in lots of time on the counters to blow that consistency out the window. I got him at ten weeks old, he was never an indoor cat for anyone else, and he's now at least 20-24 weeks old, and he's just a little bastard.

(In fact, that is what I call him. His "real" name is Pascal, but I just say, "See ya, little bastard" when I leave and "Hey, little bastard" when I come home and "I love you, you little bastard" when I hug/strangle him. Damn cat.)

I especially like the double-sided tape idea. Loose sheets of tin foil is another method for when you're not home.

Great ideas, but I'm tired of having to have to put on and take off all that crap every time I leave or enter the room.

 

[SilkRoad]

He's also managed to open doors. The little bastard. I've watched him freak out when he wanted out of my bedroom -- he jumped up, grabbed the doorknob, and swung back and forth until he got it open, then ran out of the room. I was like "WTH?????" He's only done it once, but he simultaneously pisses me off as well as amazes me with his intelligence and craftiness.

Oh man, my friends' cat does this too. And it's kind of an evil looking cat so that just makes the whole thing scarier. (We think it would look great in a tiny Darth Vader outfit). They hang boxes off the bedroom doorknobs to deter her. I saw her do it once though and there was something very unnerving about it.

 

[Totenkindly]

Oh man, my friends' cat does this too. And it's kind of an evil looking cat so that just makes the whole thing scarier. (We think it would look great in a tiny Darth Vader outfit). They hang boxes off the bedroom doorknobs to deter her. I saw her do it once though and there was something very unnerving about it.

I know. I was like, "Okay, NOTHING is safe... and I let this guy sleep next to my head on the bed every night? Next thing I know he'll be mixing chemicals in the bathroom or stealing my car to go out for key parties late at night." He should be on a beer commercial.

My cat actually looks very plain. He's your typical gray tiger DSH with dull golden eyes. He does vocalize a lot, especially when he wants to go somewhere I won't let him and he can't open the door. He'll whine, I'll say, "oh stop it," he'll whine again, I'll say, "No. No backtalk," and we'll literally go back and forth for the next two minutes with him giving me lip about it until I get bored.

I got a cat because I didn't find a guy and I like having someone else around.

I'm still trying to decide which is better.

 

[PeaceBaby]

The water bottle can work, but it will take commitment. To train our cat not to "meowlllll" in the bedroom hallway every night - one year. One year of us jumping up out of bed and "squirt squirt squirt" in the middle of the night, sometimes two or three times a night.

*sigh* I doubt I would want to go through that now - falling back asleep is not as easy as it used to be!

She was a good kitty though; she died last year and lived to be 18.

 

[Totenkindly]

The water bottle can work, but it will take commitment. To train our cat not to "meowlllll" in the bedroom hallway every night - one year. One year of us jumping up out of bed and "squirt squirt squirt" in the middle of the night, sometimes two or three times a night.

He's pretty good with bedtime stuff, as long as he can get into one of the two bedrooms. It's only if he's trapped with nowhere to go that he cries for attention. Typically he comes into my room and starts purring loudly as soon as he gets on my bed... I do often have to take him off my face 2-3x before he settles (he typically does that kneeding thing with his paws, sometimes on my shoulder) but he gets over it quickly.

 

[Oaky]

The only cat you need.