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Thread: Cooking Flops

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    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Default Cooking Flops

    As much as I experiment in the kitchen, you can bet one out of every 5 or so new things fails miserably. I've blown things up in the oven, set things on fire, and just tonight we cooked this AWESOME riblet and shrimp grilled with vermicelli and ginger sauce salad... Except I tried a new marinade that was clearly too spicy for my entire family. Nothing on the label indicated it was spicy, but now we're all dying and acting like we were pepper sprayed

    So what'd you screw up on? Don't be shy!
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

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    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    -Tried to make custard a few weeks ago without the water bath. It FAILED.
    I threw it out.

    - Tried to make brownies but added too much oil, so it was like brownie slime.
    I was convinced to throw that away.

    - Tried to make an egg souffle on my first try, the top of it turned black, luckily I cut the top off and still ate it.

    - Whenever I try to make pizza from scratch, it never makes all the way.
    Ever since I was 14 and my ENTP friend and I tried to make a pizza from a kit (our isfp friend turned the oven off while it was baking so it was only half done)

    - My beer bread was really salty on the first try.
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

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    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    First thing that comes to mind was the first time I tried making brownies when I was about 12 years old. My friend and I bought all the stuff and followed a recipe, and we thought we were geniuses for deciding to add a little peppermint extract to make them into 'mint chocolate' brownies. So we baked them up, they looked beautiful. We cut them up with anticipation and we had our first taste.

    It tasted like minty DIRT. They were bitter and horrible. It took us awhile to figure out what went wrong, then we realized we were supposed to use MILK baking chocolate and we bought UNSWEETENED baking chocolate by accident. Didn't even notice. It was so nasty and the taste stayed in our mouths for hours.

    First Thanksgiving I spent away from home, I decided I wasn't going to cook anything or make a fuss. Then, at the last minute, I changed my mind. I went to the grocery store but they didn't have any decent turkey breasts left so I bought some ground turkey instead. I never worked with the stuff before, but I figured I'd just 'throw' something together.

    I got home, plonked the stuff in a bowl, added chopped onion, some sage & thyme, some egg and bread crumbs. I made this 'loaf' and shoved it in the oven. I made some sweet potatoes and green beans to go with it. I got it out, let it cool, and sliced into it.

    Holy crap it was so disgusting. It was like trying to eat slices of stiff, dry kitchen sponge with raw onions in it (they didn't soften at all). So I wound up tossing it all out and having sweet potatoes, green beans, and hummus on pita bread that Thanksgiving, haha.
    "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you...amazing things will happen" --Conan O'Brien

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    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    I've cooked pre-soaked beans for hours and they were still inedible.

    Baking gluten free breads--hit or freakin' miss! They are often not done and gooey in the center.

    I burned some beautiful country style ribs not too long ago. I was grilling them and didn't get back outside fast enough to save too extra fatty pieces from the fire. It was my fault because I should have trimmed that extra fat off!

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    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Gloriana: Although not a total disaster, I decided I'd bake my parents a cake one time and took out the box and followed the instructions meticulously so I wouldn't mess it up.. I beat the mixture together for twice as long as the instructions said, and I still couldn't figure out why the mixture didn't look yummy. It looked god awful. I finally ask my sister what's wrong with it, and she states plain as day, "You need to actually open the box and put the cake mix in."

    Red - I never do beans anymore unless it's the day before I intend to eat them in a crockpot anymore for the saaame reason!

    I'm too scared to try grilling yet, but I started trying to venture into red meats.. so I tried a filet mignon (or however you spell it) recipe. The instructions were easy enough, except I forgot the detail in the pre-recipe instructions that stated to let the filets warm up from cold to cool - nearly room temperature. They had been defrosted for a couple hours and I figured them good or about the same.. Upon serving it, I was disappointed to find that it wasn't pink in the middle - it was Raw in the middle. Too cold for the recipe I presume.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

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    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Hollandaise sauce: it just wouldn't thicken.

    I wish someone had told me beforehand that the eggs need to be room temperature
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

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    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I unknowingly coated chicken in pancake mix instead of flour (it was in an unlabeled container and I was cooking at someone elses apartment) when I was trying to fry it. It looked and tasted horrible and I had no idea why until someone told me that it was pancake mix that I used.

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    Klingon Warrior Princess Patches's Avatar
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    My significant other started storing tupperware in the oven when he didn't have room for it.

    He didn't tell me.

    I preheated the oven without checking inside.

    Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiire.
    “Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside
    them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.” -Neil Gaiman

    ~

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    when I was 7 my best friend (ENTP) and I were making spaghetti and I put the sauce in with the noodles without draining the water out... it turned out to be spaghetti-lite

    the first time i used a gas stove i turned it on and left it without checking for a flame. when i came back i noticed it wasnt lit so i turned back the dial to ignite and FWOOOOSH

    somehow i still had all my hair after that

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    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foolish heart View Post
    when I was 7 my best friend (ENTP) and I were making spaghetti and I put the sauce in with the noodles without draining the water out... it turned out to be spaghetti-lite

    the first time i used a gas stove i turned it on and left it without checking for a flame. when i came back i noticed it wasnt lit so i turned back the dial to ignite and FWOOOOSH

    somehow i still had all my hair after that
    My aunt did that... Except, she lost an eyebrow! It grew back though.

    Oh man... I remember when I was in middle school, I baked a cake...or at least tried to... It was the flattest cake I had ever seen... I think I left out the water and it ended up being like a half an inch thick. It tasted okay...but it was super thin...

    I've given up on making fried chicken, it's definitely not my forte! I can't count the number of times that I've attempted it only to have a greasy floury mess in the frying pan and hardly any breading on the actual chicken.

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